I run out into the snow. My feet plow through as I hurry, as my eyes stare up at the thing. I drop my backpack to the ground once I reach it. My hands touch the bark to make sure the tree is really here, and when I don't go tumbling through it like a hologram, I know that it's actually in front of me.
The orange tree stands tall and sturdy. It's many branches splay out with smaller limbs sprouting in every direction. The greenest leaves coat the branches, and amongst the thousands of them are bright fruits. My eyes bounce from fruit to fruit in disbelief. I reach up and pluck a low-hanging one. I run my fingers over its skin and roll it between my hands. Lifting it to my nose, I smell the thing but it doesn't emit the scent of an orange, nor does it look like one.
"Careful there."
My e
When I get back to Adam's after spending the rest of the day at Elara's, I find him eating dinner in the kitchen."I would have waited for you if I knew you were on your way back. Here, sit down, I'll fix you a plate," he offers.I sit with him in the breakfast nook. "No, no, you eat. I'll grab something later.""When was the last time you ate?""Oh, you know, didn't I grab something before we left for the academy?"Adam sets down his fork and knife. "You told me that you would go to the cafeteria before class. What's going on? You can't tell me that you aren't hungry after not eating all day.""I don't know. I just haven't had much
"You've been gone for so long, kid. What's happening? What's going on? I know you're responsible, and I trust you more than anyone on this earth, but I can't help but worry. Grandma and I—well we think you should come home for a bit. Stay the night. We can rent a movie or go out for dinner. You can grab some stuff from your room if you need it. Grandma cleaned your sheets for you. Just, we miss you. Let me know what you think, okay? Call me."My phone remains pressed to my ear even though the voicemail has ended. I swallow and drop my hand. I stare down at the small screen as guilt rises up in me like floodwater filling a basement. Soon there will be no room left to breathe.The bedroom is quiet. Adam is out of the house for what he promises will only be a little while. Tony and Yuke are here with me, not only to stop my father fr
"Call if you need anything, okay? We're always here if you need us," my mom says, standing in the doorway. I glance back and her and nod before walking down the porch steps. My bag is fuller now than yesterday—I grabbed a few things. Unlike the first time, I didn't take clothes or shampoo or toothpaste; I took the picture of my mom and me from my desk. The carved necklace of the moon goddess that I was gifted is stashed inside as well.Adam's truck is parked along the side of the road. My mom waves to him, and he waves back. It's better this way. Whenever my two worlds come together, there is always some sort of misunderstanding. There can never be a perfect translation, so maybe a wave and a smile are good enough. I peer back again when I get to the car door. My mom doesn't close the front door until Adam starts his truck, but once it's closed, I know it's time to switch to the ot
"Oh, Vivianne, hi," I say as I come down the stairs. "You didn't tell me you were already on your way over."She walks from the front door, past Adam, and toward me. I can immediately tell that they spoke, but I have no idea for how long or about what. Adam watches me. I give Vivianne a quick hug but maintain eye contact with him. There's a sense of anger building inside of me, and I have to snuff it before it catches and ignites me from the inside, burning until there's nothing left. I desperately want to know what he told her; I'm sure it has to do with keeping me in the house—or maybe he warned her about my mood."Well, I'm here now," she says lightly. "I'm sure we haveplentyto talk about, right?"I force a smile and Adam says, "I'll be back in a few hours
I have the most wonderful dreams of the most beautiful things. Some of it is small and simple, and the rest is so very big, so very vast and infinite in nature, filled to the brim with noise and color and entities beyond my own imagination. I entered this space inside my mind and believed I must have joined the essence of the universe—I must have merged with everything, body and soul—but when I saw him, I knew that I was somewhere else other than death. I saw his face but heard words of another."You will be Luna."Sometimes I hear it specifically as a whisper or a call, but other times I feel as if the idea has entered my mind as a thought placed by the will of someone else. I am open for anyone and everyone to peer inside or leave a message. It may not be the finality and deconstruction of death, but what I'm experiencing
"How was your mother's?"It was nice. We went out in the snow for a bit to build a snowman like we used to during Christmas vacation when we would come to visit grandma. I pretended like I was cold, and when we went inside, grandma had made hot chocolate. We watched old Christmas movies and laid on the couch with blankets and pillows and each other. It was nice. It was what I needed. They took my mind off of Adam for a little while, but when the sun set, and I was left on my own in that bedroom, he came back to me. I stared out my window like I used to and prayed he'd show up, and just like old times, he didn't."It was nice," I say as Adam's mother brings me inside. "Have you heard—""No," she interrupts. "Nothing. They haven't found him."
Adam's father is an intimidating man. He keeps to himself, is quiet, and has this certain stare that I have never seen before; it's hard but compassionate, and I see it when he looks at Adam's mother. Adam's father and I have exchanged very few words over these weeks, but that seems to be enough. Adam's mother always does the majority of the talking, even from his perspective. When he doesn't feel like speaking—which is often—she voices his opinions for him. I think Adam's father has seen many terrible things. In his stare, it seems as if he is simultaneously sifting through memories, ones that are memorable for a reason.Alexander accidentally drops his fork, and the sudden clattering sound pulls me from my trance. I must have been looking at Adam's father for longer than I thought. He doesn't necessarily look like Adam, but there are a few features that they share like thei
I prop myself up and look over to him. He stands in the doorway of the bathroom, the light behind him almost holy."What more could you possibly say to me?" I ask."Are you pregnant?"Without a thought, I say, "No.""Wrenley—""I'm not. You were right, what I felt was nothing."Again he turns on the bedroom light, making me flinch. He nears the bed while saying, "My mother said some interesting things. It was implied. Did you tell her that you're pregnant?""Jesus, Adam, would you drop it? I don't need you to yell at me again about how I'm not pregnant. I didn't tell her that
Sometimes I see him—his face in the darkness of the open closet or the blur of trees as we drive by. I wish I believed myself when I mutter that it's just my head conjuring such things from nothing. I wish my father wasn't capable of things beyond my imagination.It's been a year since I escaped my father and became a shifter. I thought that would be enough time to move on from it all, but I often find myself reliving the many memories I have stored away. Adam will pull me from my trance only to tell me that he's called my name twice already. He'll ask me what's on my mind like he doesn't know, and I'll wave him off as if it were nothing. We used to talk about it during the first few months, but eventually, I saw no use in repeating the same worries and nightmares. There is only so much he can do.Despite my lingering past, we are
"I never thought this day would end," Vivianne groans.I glance at her as we walk down the hallway—her, Imogen, and I all heading toward the main doors of the academy. "I got so used to doing nothing over winter break that even putting on my uniform took it out of me," Imogen says. "So how about we go to the diner and celebrate our first day back? I'm thinking burgers, fries, milkshakes—""Sorry, I can't," I say. "Adam is waiting for me.""Out front? Right now?" Vivianne asks."Yeah. He should be out there."She frowns. "What about girl time? You pretty much disappeared the entire break and came back suddenly one of us, now—"
Once I make it back home and dress behind the house, I come to the front and find him leaving through the front door. "Adam!" I call and hurry towards him. "Where are you going?"He takes a breath. "Good, you're back. Stay inside—my mother is on her way. She'll stay with you here.""But where are you going? Don't tell me you're going with them into the mountains.""No. I'm going to the north border to meet the group when they arrive back. I made some calls and sent Ben to the town hall.""I—okay. When will you be back?" I ask, tired of being apart. It feels like every time we are reunited, something is wedged between us, keeping us from each other. I miss the days when our biggest worry was whether or not my mom would be w
If he was cold, I could warm him. Hot, I could cool him. Dead, I could revive him.I wake on the hard stones of the beach, empty and alone. The night gives way to day as the sun begins to break through in shades of orange and pink, yellow, and beyond—the lightest blue. The blood that drained from within me has dried, and I shed my clothes to wash them and myself in the ocean.The godly strength I felt is gone, but the ocean water is not frigid against my skin. Overwhelming hunger has surfaced, but the great understanding I once had has dimmed. I'm one of them now. I can feel the need to shift inside me, but I'm scared of how it will feel; how I may change not only physically, but mentally.My stomach thunders, furious from starvation.
Coughs erupt from my throat as I crawl out of the water and up the pebbled beach. My nails dig into the rocks as I heave out one last croak and collapse onto my back. The night has consumed the light of day, but the cover of dark won't hide me from him. He's coming for me, and my baby isn't safe.My chest rises and falls rhythmically as my eyes study the night sky. His voice sounds in my head, toying with me. I manage to climb further up the beach until the waves can't reach me. I don't know how far I am from Waindale, or how close I am to the mountains. The forest stands like I wall, masking the lay of the land.My growing baby eats up a majority of my father's power, but I use the rest to replenish my tired limbs. However, the longer I rest to heal myself, the more my father's looming presence devours me, stealing all forms of rationa
In the middle of the library, I lay flat on my back and stare up at the intricate ceiling. Crown molding and other carvings rope along it like white vines and knot together at the center point of the roof. Aimed directly underneath it, I close my eyes and recall what I read in one of the many books I've studied from my father's collection. I couldn't find any information about teleportation or any sort of traveling similar to the mysterious vanishing he does, but I did read about astral projection, and if there's a possibility of seeing Adam again, I'm going to give it a try.I let a wave of relaxation wash over me slowly from my feet, up my legs, over my torso, down my arms and through my neck until lastly, my face relaxes as well. With steady, deep breaths I feel myself sinking into my mind, drowning until it feels like my body is melting into the floor. A sense of isolation takes over
I think about the times he's begged me to listen. I think about the moment he held me so tightly and pleaded for me to stay alive—to hide when he says hide; run when he says run. There are things in this world that could rip me apart. There are monsters that hide in the shadows, but little did I know that I would be one of them. Adam couldn't protect me from myself, though. I was constantly preparing for the day my father would take me, yet when the time finally came I felt so blindsided. There was nothing I could do. I promised him time—I didn't know how much—but I told him that we would at least have a little. Time to have my baby. Time to plan a rebuttal. Time to say goodbye.Either I left with him, or he killed Adam.I close my eyes and imagine Adam's arms around me, remembering just how safe I felt in his hold. Re
I'll do anything he wants. I'll agree to anything as long as Adam's safety is secured.Ester's voice fades with distance. The only things audible are my heavy breaths and the frantic beating of my own heart in my ears. I hurry through the trees like a blind woman guided by the hand of another, trusting in the abilities that I know will turn on me. Forest surrounds me, and just when I begin to feel trapped in the lush illusion, voices surface. I chase after them. I power through the brush until the jarring presence of my father taints the air. He leaves a trail of pollution everywhere he goes as if his presence on earth defies the laws of nature.The voices morph into words. It's Adam. I'm sure he can sense that I'm near, but I can't risk being caught by him. My father is hunting my mate, and I am hunting my father.
I watch Adam and he lays peacefully beside me, the morning sun just beginning to rise and trickle into our bedroom. Abstract shapes of yellow sun are cast over the room, rectangles stretched on the wood floor and the cream walls, and I used to stare at them before getting out of bed. But now that Adam is here with me, I can look at him like I used to. I used to lay here and listen to his steady breaths. It wasn't often that I'd wake up before him, but with my father's power, my sleep schedule has been anything but normal.It's not a new concept to me anyway—to be awake at all the wrong times.Just as I note the pleasant silence, the bedroom door slowly opens. Ester pokes her head through, sees that I'm awake, then proceeds toward me with a tall glass of concentrated vitamins. She likes to juice things for me.