This spring is so warm in the palace! The cherry blossoms are blooming in pastel pink petals, the sky is clear and the sun is shining brightly; I guess it wants to touch me with its rays to make me cheer up; out of such a beautiful day I am the only one who can't be happy.
The fountain spurts the crystalline water where my reflection is denoted as a mirror; my tender tears fall very often surrounding my cheek until they fall and join the water; but the surprise of a person makes me give a tremendous jump.
"SOSHI!" I exclaim furiously. Soshi is my best friend, my greatest advisor since I was 8 years old: he came to the castle with his parents to work, until an incident in the outskirts of the kingdom took his parents' lives; we always supported each other and my father let me proclaim him as my royal advisor and my best friend. When my mother died he was by my side always.
"I'm sorry princess," he apologizes in laughter, "I just wanted to see how he was doing and well... I rushed to give him a good scare," he explains with a chuckle.
Since we were kids he loves to scare me, he says I look adorable and sometimes he scares me to tears. He's immature at times, but even so, he gives the best advice and is the voice of reason.
"And how do you want him to be?" he asked rhetorically with a very angry expression, "besides.... There is nothing you can do to cheer me up, I honestly don't feel very well..." she explained sadly sobbing.
"Was it her father?" I nodded slowly.
"My father is selfish! ... He just wants to get me engaged to someone I don't know. I would be subjected to live with someone I don't love" my tears run abundantly down my face.
"But... Princess, aren't you in love with your cousin Satoshi?" he asks me uncertainly.
"Well... Yes, but my father doesn't accept him because he is a relative" I bite my lower lip-..... I want him to be the one to marry me..." I smile unhappily.
My mind starts to reflect those wonderful memories of that time: 8 years ago Satoshi and I were very close, inseparable, but that feeling grew and we started to see each other as two lovers. He used to say that when he grew up, he wanted to become the emperor with me to reign together, but my father forced him to leave the palace... I still don't recognize the reason for that command.
" His cousin wasn't coming for his birthday?" I look at him attentively, my eyes widen wildly, my face lights up and my sadness dilutes a little. I didn't know he would be at my 16th birthday party! "His cousin will come in two days to celebrate his birthday, when he is there, you have to do your best to change his father's mind" Hearing Soshi's plan, I smile enthusiastically.
"Soshi what a good idea!" I jump up and down with joy.
"But there's a problem," says Soshi, "Her fiancé is also going to show up at the party..." My expectations and illusions fall to the floor, "but you have to convince her father not to hold the wedding and make it seem that Satoshi is a better party and that he can rule by her side.
I raise my eyebrow and smile, nodding slowly.
"I think it won't be a bad idea if we give it a try" we agreed to do the "plan" so that my father would give me his permission to marry Satoshi; although, I'm really not sure if Satoshi still has feelings for me, what if he is no longer in love with me like he was back then? Or if he is already engaged to another girl? Maybe with a much prettier and smarter woman? I'm really nervous to death; curiosity, excitement and nerves make me desperate.
I put on my best clothes, excitement overwhelms me and I feel like I'm in a dream. I look at myself in a full-length mirror, the pastel pink Kimono, with a light blue ribbon, the sleeves were pink with light red embroidery.
The shoes are the finest and most expensive, lilac colored with a bow on the tip, the makeup is very natural highlighting my cheeks and lips, the hairstyle; loose hair with small braids that surrounded part of the hair and bangs did not get any change.
I admired myself in that mirror, with the best comments and compliments and admired everything I was wearing, be it the dress and the sparkling jewelry. Soshi unsuspectingly arrives in my room almost throwing himself on me, he looks like he had run two valleys, he looks tired.
"your cousin... He's here! ... He is with his father ... " he said wearily.
I leave the room quickly, I begin to search every corner of the castle and no trace of him. I search the throne room, the front yard and the main entrance; it's like looking for a needle in any corner of this huge house. I go to look for him in the backyard, I find him with my father talking about a subject that in their faces seems to be very serious, because in their gestures it was observed that they were arguing.
I am so mesmerized by how much Satoshi has changed in 8 years; his hair was long and black, it covered part of his back, his eyes are no longer so tender as a child, now they are so defined and intense light blue, he is so tall that he reaches the emperor himself or more, his figure and his face are so manly, with very marked features. I am paralyzed, my father leaves the place without even noticing that I am watching them, while Satoshi only has a melancholic and furious expression, it was the first time I saw him like that.
His face turns to notice my presence, he just smiles; I run to hug him very tightly with all the strength of my heart so nostalgic remembering...how it has been so long that my arms felt lonely without receiving his affection and warmth. My eyes crystallize from the accumulated happiness; I intertwine my arms to his hips, I rest my face in his lap and my eyes end up melting in his white fabrics, he doesn't notice me trembling, not even saying a word, he wants me to cry quietly on his chest.
" How could you leave me alone!" I exclaim with burning tears "you are a fool...." I feel the warmth of his soft hands, caressing my black hair, it's the same shade as the one Satoshi has. "It's a dream come true" after such a long time I can be completely happy again, it was worth the wait.... Also... I can tell he feels the same affection as he did a couple of years ago and that comforts me, to know... that he still loves me without saying a single word, without giving me explanations.
We sit on the bench by the fountain, the sun makes the water in which it was dripping look very bright and creates a very peaceful atmosphere.
"How have you been my princess?" She asks me with a huge smile which I do not want to erase, it is the only thing that remains after a long time, it is part of her essence that beautiful smile of innocence that still remains on her face.
"Well... I've been good" I try to hide it so I don't have to tell her about the engagement.
"You know you're bad at pretending, tell me, did something happen?" I can't look for the right words to tell him, I'm just frozen "Tell me my princess" he said very tenderly nailing his gaze so penetrating that makes me melt; I lower my gaze not to make eye contact, I'm scared to have to see him without using the right words not to discourage us in this special moment.
"I'm going to... a ... Engage ..." Satoshi's smile slowly fades.
"... So it's true..." he said sadly, "You like someone else, don't you? I think I missed my chance."
" What are you talking about? I don't like anyone else," I explain, he looks me in the eyes and brings his hands to my pink cheeks.
"... So... You can say... What do you like me?" I nod a couple of times I don't want to hide my feelings anymore.
"But... I don't know... If you like me... You" I look into his eyes; his pupils start to glow until they get closer, I feel his breathing and I notice it's accelerated, he touches my face softly with his hands, I don't resist either and I close my eyes slowly to just feel the touch of his lips. First it was caresses until I feel how they meet, the warm kiss is wrapped with a magical and unsuspecting sensation, my heart goes so fast, I decide to treasure that wonderful moment.
During the party, most of the young princes came to claim my hand, but my father denied them, I came to wonder why his attitude to the proposals, wasn't that the reason for the party? Satoshi approaches me with a glass of rice wine, he close to me, causes the envy of all men. Many nobles approach me asking for a dance piece, after which I refuse their proposals. It seems that my father doesn't mind that I have rejected all the young men, it is seen that he is happy talking to the rulers, most of all the ruler of the city of Kai.
"Do you think your father will want you to marry the son of the ruler Kobayashi?" Soshi asks with his mouth full.
"I don't know..." I answer worriedly. I swallow forcibly, we still don't know who is the candidate that my father chose, I don't want to know either, I only know that the person my father is willing to commit me to will be a great annoyance for me and my teeth. Suddenly the announcer makes us pay attention to him with his loud voice.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, the fiancé of Princess Hamasaki Naomi, Prince Akiyama Hiroki!" she concluded. Everyone murmured as no one knew that name.
They opened the doors and the young man appears, he is tall with long wavy reddish hair, his manly face with intense black eyes; although he is quite handsome his expressions are cold and dominant, his frown a little frowned and serious, his eyebrows of the same tone bushy but not exaggerated, what most captivated me was that red hair as intense as the fire or the sunset, I must admit that it is quite attractive that shade of hair so interesting, so much so that the maidens were more perplexed at his appearance, although personally Satoshi for me is more attractive, I'm just curious about the hair and his gestures so serious.
He comes closer and closer to me, his look is so threatening that I feel very intimidated; he stands in front of me and bows.
"Nice to meet you, my name is Akiyama Hiroki, I am the son of the rulers Matsumoto Takuya and Akiyama Kaori, I come from the city of Momoyama" he concludes, the murmurs of the guests are heard throughout the room.
"Momoyama? I have never heard of that city" said Soshi very confused. It is strange this young man, I do not know who he really is or if the city he comes from is really, it is a mystery, I feel a little uneasy, because it makes me something suspicious that I had never heard that place, plus the murmurs of the people did not know it either; However, what is bothering me the most are some looks, but they are not just any looks, it is as if they were watching you every second; I have had this feeling since the morning, it is as if they were judging me and spying on you and no matter how much I measure from side to side I cannot notice someone suspicious with a look like that and without knowing where this strange feeling comes from, I can't understand it. I feel a little dizzy.
" Naomi, are you all right?" Satoshi asks when he sees my distracted expression, as if I'm sick or very worried.
"Yes... It's just that I have a very strange feeling" I confess "it's as if I'm being watched... Don't you feel that?" He looks at me very strange "I think I went crazy" I said between laughs not to worry him and not to feel this strange discomfort.
The party concludes until nightfall, the rulers had to return to their lands to fulfill their obligations; the only people who stay in the palace are the red-haired prince that I have forgotten and Satoshi. I am exhausted, my feet hurt from standing in those uncomfortable shoes, although it was worth it to put them on, they are jade these shoes and it is complete waste not to wear something so beautiful. The sky seems to be sad, the gray clouds and raindrops are getting stronger and stronger; I am on the porch in front of the backyard admiring the rain after a long day of partying, besides I am worried, I feel like telling my father that I don't want the wedding with that young man, from the first impression I feel that he is not the kind of person everyone thinks, besides my feelings have always been for Satoshi, definitely my father has a bad taste. Suddenly the feeling that someone is watching me slowly consumes me, I feel very anxious; I look in all direc
His image is like a guardian angel, who came to rescue me from the cruelty in the eyes of the man I once loved. Hiroki's maneuvers are amazing, he manages to defeat many soldiers with just a sword; he pushes Satoshi to a wall leaving him without any advantage hitting his head without being able to move, more soldiers appeared until we were surrounded. Hiroki stood in front of me as a human shield preventing them from doing any damage to me, however, he couldn't do much since we were already surrounded.Satoshi gets up very angry and gives the order to kill us, I can't believe that Satoshi wants to kill me, I can't even move from the impression. One of the soldiers rebels and starts to confront the others unexpectedly, that gives Hiroki time to untie me, a soldier tries to lunge at him from behind."Hiroki, watch out!" I alert him, quickly with his sword he cuts his head right in my presence; the blood of the soldiers drips on me, I hear the screams, th
We started to walk aimlessly, Hiroki only told us to follow him without saying anything else and I guess it is to hide us more and that Satoshi does not find us or someone else. We walk for arduous hours under the sun crossing paths, forests and small valleys, each time the step is more infinite and I do not understand where we are going to end up, but honestly I do not care and I just want to get away from the castle, now my only confidence is in Hiroki and the uniformed man who has not told us his name.I'm hungry and tired, it's been enough hours that the sun is going to hit past noon, i.e. lunch time. I hate having the fluids all over me, it is so disgusting to feel the sweat on my clothes from the walk, it is not worthy of a princess like me, but I have no choice if I want to escape, the only thing I want right now is a nice refreshing bath and good food, without worrying that now anyone wants to murder me. We passed by a river, with a magnificent view of t
"BEAR!" I scream very scared, the beast approaches me... with its claws and its eyes full of violence, I remain paralyzed full of fear, I drop the heavy firewood from the jump and one of the logs falls on my foot "AHG!" I exclaim from the pain; I drop from the pain of my foot, the creature is so close, it was aiming to attack me, it extends its hairy paw with sharp claws, until an arrow shoots out without warning, killing the animal, I inhale and exhale quickly from the shock, Hiroki approaches me worried." Princess!" he exclaims very shocked, he approaches me squatting down "are you ok?!" he asks very worried, I nod a couple of times and try to stand up, but I can't, the pain of that blow is very intense, Hiroki notices quickly, he lifts me from the ground carrying me so gentlemanly and gives me a seat on a rock "where did you hurt yourself?" I point to the sore and swollen right foot. Hiroki starts t
We started to eat the fish that Naoki grilled calmly and stopping the heartburn caused by hunger, my throat is a little better because of Hiroki's massage a while ago. "When we finish eating, we will leave," said Hiroki unawares, I open my eyes very confused. "Where to?" I ask him "All the villages must be full of soldiers and.... "There is one that has no soldiers," he interrupts me, "a very forgotten village: it is across this river, crossing the forest to the north. It was owned by Momoyama, but nobody remembers that town since the war" I have never heard of that town until now... it seems so strange to me, that so many years of education I have never heard of this town or this kingdom, my father never mentioned it to me and I don't understand why my governesses gave me any lessons about Momoyama. When we finish eating, we start walking as Hiroki said and head nort
I can't believe Hiroki had a brother, I always thought he was a loner, at least an only child, but I never thought he had any relatives close to him (and less with his rude attitude).From his appearance he doesn't give me the impression that he's a prince and he looks younger, I guess he's Hiroki's younger brother, however, they don't look much alike, Hiroki has abundant and long reddish hair, almost the same color of fire or a sunset, deep black eyes and a defined face, but his "brother" has brown hair, greenish eyes and his face is younger. Instead, his appearance is somewhat attractive and cute, he looks more friendly than Hiroki really, since Hiroki just gets a bad face all the time and is always curt."I can't believe you're back.." he throws himself on Hiroki with a nostalgic hug that looks like it's been a long time since he had contact with him. I am speechless, I am surprised and perplexed without knowing what is happening, I open my eyes lik
It was time to go to sleep. Aunt Akiyama assigns me a room at the back of the mansion, she leaves me in a room, orders me to enter, and seeing Hiroki inside, I'm surprised "I'm going to share a room with him?" "wait for me here, I'll go get some pillows" she tries to leave the room to leave us alone, I stop her. "wait, don't tell me I have to share a room with Hiroki" this will be very uncomfortable if she says yes because we are not married and the wisest thing to do is to sleep separately. "Of course it is, after all, you are getting married soon, so you have the whole night to be alone" he winks with a naughty look "don't be shy" he gives me a slap on the back trying to motivate me. He leaves the room leaving us alone a silence overwhelms us instantly, I look at Hiroki very embarrassed not knowing what to tell him or what to do. "Don't worry, I'll sleep far away from you. I
"Attention!" said one of the generals "Prince Satoshi proclaims that, if you find Princess Naomi, be requested to the castle; the king wishes to see her, and if you find two young men, a man with bright red hair and a uniformed general; please report, they kidnapped the princess!" he warned. I open my eyes in surprise listening behind the door. "But what a lie...", I am so terrified, my heart in my mouth about to faint right here. I know more than anyone that Satoshi was lying, that he was the real traitor what angers me the most is that now because of him Hiroki is in great danger, I'm not so worried about Naoki, he can go unnoticed wearing another clothes.... but Hiroki... I can't let Satoshi take away the person who has helped me. The commanders left instantly after his request while we were locked in the mansion. I hold a hand to my chest in shock, terrified; I want to vomit from fear. Tears well up around my cheeks and
I had a dream, a very strange dream, a dream where I was in the palace, in the courtyard where the fountain was and admired the crystal clear water dripping and the darkness of the cold night that sheltered the nostalgic atmosphere. I had my princess and high class clothes, I felt strange to have to wear this again, I got used to have comfortable clothes, I feel free and at ease.I hear my father calling me from the throne room, I just followed the sound of his voice. I enter the palace confused, a shiver runs down my back and I do not find my father. On the king's throne there was only a shadow, the figure of a woman, tall, the palace dark and gloomy; there were no lanterns, I did not recognize her face, she was just sitting there, then everything was on fire and the woman disappeared, she suddenly scared me and I jumped.It was already daylight, I remembered that I had stayed in Soshi's room for two days to sleep, since Hiroki and I didn't talk again since the fight in the forest an
That night was hard to master, I was so tense and so full of anger that I didn't sleep very well. I only thought about how I gave my heart in this way, and then crushed it in the same way.It's ugly to think that things have already gotten so complicated that I can't forgive anymore. I don't know how I'm going to look that traitor in the eyes, should I be considerate, should he have to explain something to me; it's just that in his eyes you can see the depth of wanting to explain to me? My mother once told me that, in tragedies, I would always have to ask the moon to accompany me, so that when I have been stabbed in the back before, at least I would have a companion who would never do it....The next day I go to practice far away from the village and the mansion, I feel like a traitor hiding lies from Hiroki, I feel unfaithful, I feel dishonest. But in part I am also upset with Satoshi, he did it to separate us too and he thinks I will return to his arms and he is very
When I was a child, my mother used to tell me that I had to be wise in choosing a husband. She was always very fond of Satoshi, it was likely that she would have liked to have chosen him, I wondered if she would think the same of Hiroki, would she have the same affection? Would she accept him? My father wanted this for my welfare, both mine and that of the kingdom. Even though I had refused, it's ironic isn't it? From going from refusing to be compulsorily married to Hiroki, loving Satoshi, I ended up doing the opposite. I love Hiroki and I no longer want to marry Satoshi, I ended that relationship, something I didn't want to happen before, what would my mother think about it? Probably my father would have told me "I told you so" with a mocking smile as he used to do when I was little and I was very stubborn, in that aspect I haven't changed... I'm still a very stubborn girl, I'm changing but I'm still the same... I look at the sky nostalgic watching
My conscience is clear, my emotions altered. Satoshi has to know, that I can no longer feel the same, that I can no longer continue to punish us for something that can no longer be repaired. Maybe it wasn't his fault and it wasn't his intention, it's hard to feel something again without hurting or fracturing us.To think that we could be something in the future, to rule as a couple is? Hard, difficult and more when you assimilate that it is perfect when it is not. Things changed and if they changed it was because of something, "cause of destiny" as my mother would say.Soshi listens to me attentively sitting next to me eating a little, I find it curious that Hiroki doesn't feel any kind of jealousy towards Soshi? because he knows that we are like two drops of water, we are like brothers, so to speak.Soshi helps me to eat since my right arm was the one that got hurt and now it will be very difficult to try to do some physical activity. It st
The next morning, Satoshi was gone; I woke up and he left without saying goodbye. I guess it was normal for him to be upset with me; I hurt him and even we all hurt each other, I also insulted Hiroki last night; and for a change ending up in a mess with Satoshi, this is getting out of hand; every day there are problems, there is always an argument to deal with, confusions come, fear.... And say "I don't know what to do anymore".In my head everything is spinning, my thoughts are tangled, things are going from bad to worse, but somehow, I need a solution from the smallest to the one that is affecting me the most. I give a long sigh of stress, get out of bed, put on some slippers and leave the mansion to clear my mind.I try to breathe in the fresh air and see the quietness of the morning, it was the only thing that brought me peace. I start to think: "if I'm not the woman Hiroki really loves... I think I have to accept it even though I deny it, who would re
After spending a few hours that I did not move from my bed all day reflecting, so much so that Hiroki came to imagine that I was sick. All I could think about was everything that was going on and the last thing I wanted was to disappear. Everything comes out so fast, it was like being in a dream, a nightmare that I want to wake up from. "Naomi... I brought you food" interrupts the voice that was the only way to give me strength. "Thank you Hiroki" I give a half smile "but I'm not hungry." "Still, you have to eat or you'll get sicker" he insists so kindly. I nodded offering the food. He sits next to me to give me teriyaki as a little girl. "What did you talk to Satoshi about?" she suddenly asks which threw me out of place. With difficulty I swallow the food without answering her anything about it. "h-how do you know..." "Soshi your little friend confess
That night was not difficult to master. I fall asleep smoothly from the horrible psychological exhaustion, I begin to dream of a memory, the memory of the firefly garden. I was with my mother, Satoshi and Soshi when we were children and we watched the stars and some fireflies lighting up the dark sky...."Mom, look!" my smiling little girl pointed before my mother died, a week before she passed away. The star I pointed to was a shooting star."Make a wish, dear" she said so lovingly, her image will never fade from my mind. I closed my eyes making that inner wish."What did you wish for?" asks little Satoshi."I'm not going to tell you, it's se-cret" I stuck out my tongue amused "it's secret...""Come on! Tell me" he insisted."I wished... That we'll always be together" I smiled at him. Remembering this, I could fee
A few hours later... I have no contact with Hiroki, nor with Naoki, it was so uncomfortable to have to see them that I just avoided them. It would be more tense to have to sleep with him, in the same room?What should I do; I practically performed a tantrum giving him to understand that I like him when it dawned on me that he liked Kyoto. "But how stupid."I sit in the meadow with Hiroki's bow next to me... and I really don't want it in my sight, but now it's the only thing that can protect myself. Suddenly I feel a very penetrating look next to me, I turn my face and it's.... Hiroki, he is staring at me and seems to want to get closer.The truth is that I feel so comfortable here that I feel lazy to leave, but... I don't want to see him, I don't want to talk to him and I don't pretend to apologize either, I watch him for a couple of minutes, I get up from the grass a little wet from yesterday's rain. He opens his mouth a little, wanting to say somethin
"What are you..." I want to be sure of what I think, I want to be sure of what I've been told, I want to be sure of what's in your heart."I already told you once.... I repeat the same question to you Do you still think I'm doing it to keep my promise?""You... you have a lot of loyalty to my father" I answer him very uneasily, he nails his gaze that doesn't let me blink."I have loyalty to you..." he answers me without adding more, he looks at my lips without dissimulation, I without knowing what to answer him remained in total silence, without words, only confusion.... My heart beats very strong "I will make you feel as uncomfortable as possible every time you feel alone" he smiles, he gets up without saying any other comment leaving me with more doubts.He somehow overwhelms me, he stays in my mind without knowing why and only makes me feel a pit in my stomach like I'm