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Chapter Sixty Eight
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2024-10-29 19:42:56“Love and addiction aren’t one and the same, Day. I crave him, but not in the way you crave Aaron. “
She sighed heavily. “Okay, well, whatever you feel, you have to deal with it. Talk to him, one way or the other. I have to go.”
“Okay. I hope your chat goes well.”
“Thanks. Oh, and Brenda? Put on a bra if you go out.”
My lips twitched and I hang up.
Talk to Ivan. I didn’t want to talk to him. But then, I didn’t want to not talk to him. So I was in a complete clusterfuck.
'Did I want a relationship with him?, but I could in the future… That was not fair to him—to lead him on with a maybe. So he hasn’t admitted himself that he wanted anything more than we had despite endless hints, but I couldn’t guarantee I’d want more.
What if I changed my mind soon though? Like, next week soon. Then, I could regret not holding on to it.'<
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WILD ADDICTION Chapter Sixty Nine
Miami was hot. Really, really hot. Compared to Seattle, it was another world.And standing there below the burning sun, pretending I was not covered in sweat so thick it could be another layer of skin, was next to impossible. Thankfully, the photographer called a break and one of the girls ran over and handed me a water bottle. No one else was suffering the way I was.But hey. That was what you get when you put a northern girl in a southern climate when the North was pretty much still in winter.After ten minutes, a wipe-down, and reapplication of my makeup, I headed out to the waterline. The photographer was a nice, friendly, thirty-something woman who was famed for her beach shots. It was evident to see—the positions she asked me to contort my body into were practically fucking yoga. I was half tempted to ask if she’d like to shoot me in the downward dog position.Of course, she’d likely give the other girls, who were holed up in diffe
WILD ADDICTION Chapter seventy
“Crystal,” I gasped.“Perfect. Do you want to know what I’m doing? Do you want to know everything?”I gasped again as the vibrator hits the tender spot inside me. “Yes.”“Okay.” His harsh breathing filled the room with mine. “I’m holding myself, Brenda. My hand is wrapped so fucking tightly around my dick and tugging it so hard at the sight of you fucking yourself with that. You thinking about me, babe?”“Yes.”“What are you thinking?”I moaned. “I’m thinking you’d feel good inside me. I’m thinking you’d fill me better than this vibrator, that you’d make me come harder. Your hand against me would be better than my own. I’m thinking you’d fuck me harder than I could ever with this.”“Good,” he grunted. “’Cause I’m thinking you’ve been particularly bad a
WILD ADDICTION Chapter Seventy One
“Have you ever had a proper French pastry?”“What part of ‘I’ve never been to France’ don’t you understand?”Ivan grinned and pushed me back down on the bed. “You know, when I call you my bitch, I don’t mean it in a literal sense?”I poked my tongue out at him, snuggled back under the sheets, and yawned.“Okay, tired bitch, I’m going to get you pastries. I’ll be a while, so get some more sleep if you can.” He leaned over and kissed my forehead.I sighed as the front door closed. I’d never had jet lag like this before. I’d never been so time-fucked that I wanted to carve out my brain with a dessert spoon.My phone buzzed from the nightstand and I reached over blindly. I smacked the top of the stand several times before I found it and tucked it under the covers with me.What are you doing today?Dayton texted.
WILD ADDICTION Chapter Seventy Two
“Funny. I think that about you sometimes.”I pointed the umbrella to the ground and twirled with it. Sometimes, being spontaneous was the only way to go. I glanced up from my puddle-splashing and spinning. Ivan was watching me through his camera, his finger clicking.I skipped toward him, not caring about the rain cascading down my face, and rolled with my spontaneous moment. I dropped the umbrella at the same time that he let the camera fall and jumped up on him. My legs went around his waist, his hands cupped my ass, my fingers tangled in his hair, and I kissed him.I kissed him hard. I kissed him deeply. I kissed him with my fears and anxieties and my hopes and dreams. I kissed him with everything I had and everything I was right at the moment because sometimes, that's all you can do.His umbrella fell to the ground next to mine with a clunk, and I arched my body over his. I didn’t care that there were people around. I didn’t ca
WILD ADDICTION Chapter Seventy Three
It was a silence that said all the right things at all the right moments.And I apparently needed to pause on the wine for a while… Or maybe not. Maybe the magic of Paris was casting itself over me. Or I watched way too much Peter Pan as a kid and still had a misplaced belief in fairies.I sighed.“What’s up?” He asked, his breath fanning across my cheek. Warm, ahhh.“Just thinking. Too much.” I frowned. “Way too much.”He laughed. “Let’s get you food. And I demand you stop thinking.”I raised my eyebrows. “D’you see a bed, mister? Nope. Me neither. Shove your demands.”“Shove them where?” he hummed against my neck.“Up your ass. Up my ass. I don’t particularly care right now.”His lips curved. “Yes. You need food, babe.”He handed two tickets to the girl behind the glass and whisked me of
WILD ADDICTION Chapter Seventy Four
“Not bad, huh?” he asked softly. “Pretty good convincing if you ask me.”“Aha.” I tapped the back of his hand with my fingers. “But I didn’t ask you, and I’m not telling you. A woman has to have her secrets, you know.”“I’ll give you that.”He turned his face toward mine and kissed down my jaw, the tiny kisses making my heart flutter. His lips found my neck and made their way down there to the hollow of my shoulder then back up to my ear. Now my heart wasn’t fluttering—it was thumping. It was thumping so fucking hard that I was sure he could feel it against his arm.“You’re so easy to turn on,” he murmured against the tender spot beneath my ear. “It’s like I can flick a switch on your body and you’re ready for me.”He nibbled my earlobe and I sighed, dropping my head back.“Oh, no.” He let go of one
WILD ADDICTION Chapter Seventy Five
I forced my eyes open.“No. It was what you wanted. If you didn’t, you would have said no.” He lowered his lips to mine. “I respect ‘no,’ Brenda. I don’t respect ‘oh my god.’ In fact, I take the latter as one hell of a fucking compliment.”“It is most definitely a compliment.” I smiled wearily. “But where the hell did the bullet come from?”He grabbed it from the floor with a smirk and tucked it into his pants pocket. “Black trousers hide a multitude of sins, luckily for us.”“Black is slimming.” I sat up straight and tucked the napkin into the pocket of my purse. “What?” I asked at Ivan’s amused look. “You think I want some waiter touching a napkin covered in my cum?”“I’m not amused because you’re putting it in there. I’m amused because you’re learning.” He grinned against my
WILD ADDICTION Chapter Seventy Six. Please donate gems and comment of the book to rank it thanks you
I swallowed twice. His card. Right. For lingerie. And shoes. And a dress. I rubbed my nose.“Well?” Day half-winced.“Um, what?”I folded the note into quarters and tucked it into my purse then grabbed my wallet and slipped my card into it.“Why aren’t you going batshit motherfucking crazy?”I sighed heavily and looked at her. “What can I do, really? He’s even more persistent and controlling than Aaron—but not in a bad way. And hey, if he’s telling me to buy things that will ultimately get me fucked, who am I to complain?”Dayton raised her eyebrows and opened her car door. I got out on my side and looked up. The Arc de Triomphe towers above us. I knew this place. The Champs-Élysées. The most expensive street in the world.My best friend stared at me for a long moment before we start walking. “I’m not sure what he’s doing to you, bu
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WILD ADDICTION Chapter Eighty Seven
My lips formed a wide grin. “Okay. I think my need for information is sated. For now.” “Good. And now I guess we have to get to my gritty stuff, right?” I nodded. “I fessed up. Now it’s your turn.” “Okay.” He grabbed his mug of tea and drunk half of it before setting it back on the table. He settled his arms around me again, linking his fingers on my back, and looked up. “Let’s see… When we were little, Mish and Aaron were constantly following our parents around. They wanted to know every last bit of the business. My dad tried for about a year to get me interested, but I just didn’t care. I didn’t have the right head for it. “Then we got older, and while they started internships and work experiences, I started sleeping with girls. Yeah. I was that knobhead.” He laughed. “I studied photography at A-level in college just to make up the number of courses I needed to take and fell in love with it. It was so calm and quiet compared to my rowdy, devil-may-c
WILD ADDICTION Chapter Eighty Seven
He pulled on his pants and I grabbed some shorts and a T-shirt from my room. When I came back out, Ivan handed me a cup of coffee and grabbed his cup of tea. I smiled as we settled on the sofa, facing each other, my legs hooked over his. He tugged the coffee table closer so we could reach from this position. Then he wrapped his arms around me and linked his fingers behind my back.“Okay. Just…talk,” he said.“Um. Okay.” I settled my fingers against the top of his stomach. The lump in my throat was the only thing stopping bile coming up—I knew it. “Well, I went to my parents’ house yesterday. I needed to get out of the city to think. Of course, my batshit crazy nana was there, so I got more of an ass-kicking than I did thinking. But anyway, she made me realize that you have to face your fears if you’re ever going to get over them. So. Here I am. Fear-facing.”Ivan’s thumbs stroke my back gently, a
WILD ADDICTION Chapter Eighty Six
Tyler, sitting on the floor, his back against my door, throwing a tennis ball at the wall opposite him. One of his legs was bent up, the other stretched out. I watched him throw the ball, catching it one-handed every single time.I opened my mouth to talk to him, but he beat me to it.“I’ve been sitting here like a fucking idiot for about four hours. I have no idea why. At first, I thought you were in. Then I remembered you went out of town. Fuck knows where. No one will tell me where or why you went. So I sat down and started playing with this. Hit your neighbor’s door a few times. He invited me in, but I said I’d rather sit here. Got hungry and ordered pizza.” He knocked on the box next to him. “Sat here like a fucking teenage boy hung up on some girl he’s never gonna get.”My chest tightened when he looked at me. I’d never seen his eyes so empty, so dull.“That’s what I think. You know t
WILD ADDICTION Chapter Eighty Five
“I nearly lost my life!” I almost shouted. “How is that nothing? What if, next time, it’s worse? What if, next time, I do lose?”Nana’s face softened, but her eyes hardened. She leaned forward in her chair and pointed a wrinkly finger at me. “You listen to me, my girl, and you listen to me well. You’re not afraid of committing. You’re not afraid of hurting anyone. The thing you fear is weakness. It’s commendable, really, but also complete crap. The only person you’re hurting is yourself—and this boy. You’re stringing you both along because of your naivety. That’s what it is. What you are. Naïve. You think love pops up for every Tom, Dick, and Harry?”Her words stung.“It doesn’t. It isn’t something you can throw around. If you can sit there and tell me it wouldn’t kill you to walk away from him, then that’s exactly what you should do.&rdqu
WILD ADDICTION Chapter Eighty Four
“You look like you have a face slapped with a wet fish,” Nana said. “Have you been salmon fishing?”“It’s not salmon season, Nana,” I replied. “And I don’t fish.”“Not salmon season? It flamin’ well is! A bit cold for July though. Hey, Steve. Put the heat on. I’m turning into a snowman.”I raised an eyebrow at Mom. “July? Nana, it’s March.”“No, it’s July. I specifically remember arranging my next visit here for July.”“Mother,” Mom said softly. “You did. We talked about it yesterday. You said you’d come back in July.”Nana blinked at her. “Oh. Did we?”Mom noded. “Yes. You said you wanted to come up in salmon season because you wanted fresh salmon.”Nana tilted her head to the side. “Oh. Oh, all right. That would explain the temperature. Still, get t
WILD ADDICTION Chapter Eighty Three
“I don’t know his past and he doesn’t know mine.”“Because you’re refusing to talk about it. Yeah, we talk. Just because we’re guys doesn’t mean we don’t talk about this shit. I called him a hundred times with Dayton—he’s more like my brother than anything. I know how he feels about you, Brenda. He’s told me. And let me tell you if you’d asked me six months ago if I ever thought he’d be this serious about a woman, I would have laughed at you.” His lips twitch. “I did laugh when he told me. I thought he was kidding, but he isn’t.”“It’s not just a snap decision. I can’t clap my hands together and know. I’m not holding off to protect myself. I’m doing it to protect him.”“Ivan’s a big boy. He can protect himself. I’ve seen him do it several times.”I put my face in my hands then ran my finger
WILD ADDICTION Chapter Eighty Two
I stifled a yawn as I followed Aaron around the new bar. They landed back in Seattle minutes after Ivan and I did, and Day took one look at me and told Aaron to bring me there.She’d taken Ivan to get coffee, and I sworn, if she was pulling her matchmaking shit, I would kill her.“What do you think?” Aaron asked.I looked around the building. Then, it was carnage in there. Builders were everywhere. There was dust and wooden planks and whatever in every single possible place. But looking at the plans in my hand—Aaron’s vision—I saw it.“I think it’s gonna be the best damn cocktail bar in the city,” I said honestly.“Good answer.” He grinned. “It should be ready to go in two weeks. When do you have to tell Donny you’re leaving?”“I’ll go by when I leave here and tell him. I’ll give him a week’s notice then take a week off.”
WILD ADDICTION Chapter Eighty One
“I’m not afraid of relationships. I have an addiction to sex, not a phobia of commitment.” His words stung. They did. Right from my head to my toes. “But yes. That’s the main reason I never pursued a relationship in London. Everyone there knew who I was and what I was worth. Here in Seattle, well. I guess I just never found someone worth having a relationship for.” His gaze burning into me. “Until now,” he finished. “I wish I could be that girl.” My words were so quiet that they were practically a whisper. It was true. I wished I weren’t afraid. I wished I could tackle him with the impulsiveness I tackled Aaron’s new bar with. I wished I could throw every piece of bullshit away and gave him the thing he wanted because He deserved it. He deserved happiness. He deserved smiles and security and certainty. Something I couldn’t offer. Ivan reached across the table and linked his fingers through mine. He lifted our ha
WILD ADDICTION Chapter Eighty
I said nothing, letting the moment linger. Letting his words hover between us, embracing them, holding on to them…getting addicted to them. To the underlying current of power in every syllable. To the smooth way he strung them all together and the way he never stopped to take a breath. To the inflection in the word ‘yours.’ Addicted to the way he didn’t have to think for a second about saying them. Addicted to the way they were making me feel. Safe. Warm. Cherished. Protected. Owned. I took a deep breath that shuddered through my body. The combination of his breath mingling with mine and the tingle of his palm against my neck was heady and intoxicating. The dizzy from his words and the response they’d elicited inside me, I wanted to give in. I wanted to tell him yes. I wanted to tell him we could do that. That, despite our addictions, two opposite poles, we could make it work. But I didn’t. I couldn’t—because I
