I swallowed twice. His card. Right. For lingerie. And shoes. And a dress. I rubbed my nose.
“Well?” Day half-winced.
“Um, what?”
I folded the note into quarters and tucked it into my purse then grabbed my wallet and slipped my card into it.
“Why aren’t you going batshit motherfucking crazy?”
I sighed heavily and looked at her. “What can I do, really? He’s even more persistent and controlling than Aaron—but not in a bad way. And hey, if he’s telling me to buy things that will ultimately get me fucked, who am I to complain?”
Dayton raised her eyebrows and opened her car door. I got out on my side and looked up. The Arc de Triomphe towers above us. I knew this place. The Champs-Élysées. The most expensive street in the world.
My best friend stared at me for a long moment before we start walking. “I’m not sure what he’s doing to you, bu
I was going to make sure the shoot is nothing but pure torture for him.I shoved my clothes in one of my bags and wrestled myself into my coat. The bones of the light-pink corset dug in as I contort my body to maneuver myself into the thick fabric of my coat. One of the straps clipped to the top of one of my stockings comes undone, and Dayton reached over and redid it.“Here,” she said. “Do this and they’ll stay on. The trick of the trade.” She did some odd fabric thing I’ll never remember and orders me to turn over so she can do the back ones. I let her do it.“Thanks.” I threw her a smile as we pulled up outside the hotel.“Have fun.” She grinned and waved as she drove away.Okay. Bathroom.I entered the hotel lobby and detoured the restrooms to the right. I tugged my makeup from my purse and did a quick touch-up, making sure I didn’t have stray mascara or bronzer anywhere.
I lied back down and slid the thong over my hips and down my legs. I kicked it off my ankles and it landed…well, somewhere. I couldn’t see.“I want to see you running your hands down your body. I want to see you palm your gorgeous tits and tease your nipples until they’re hard. That’s it. Just like that.”I parted my lips as I rolled each nipple between my thumb and finger. A dull, desperate throb started in my clit. It was begging me to touch it the way I was touching my nipples.“Keep one hand there, teasing your tit, and slide the other down your stomach. I want you to imagine me watching. I want you to remember what you saw a few days ago, the way I looked at you when I walked into your hotel room. Remember how much I want you and how desperate I am to touch you myself. Now slide your fingers over that smooth mound and find your clit. Now rub.”I couldn’t breathe. Goose pimples were covering my sk
Lying on the bed on my stomach, with my chin propped on my hands and my legs kicking in the air behind me, I watched Ivan navigate the room with ease. He was conveniently forgotten how to put on a T-shirt, it seemed. Again. Not that it was a bad sight. The muscles in his back rippled as he bent over to pack his suitcase. His biceps flexed, and when he stood up, he stretched up tall. The smattering of hair that ran down the center of his stomach joined with the top of his pubic hair. Hair that was in my view thanks to his stretch. “Ivan?” “Yep?” “You know how you love challenges?” He paused, bending at the waist, and looked at me over his shoulder. “Only if it’s you challenging me.” “You know how you have to do it every time?” “Where are you going with this?” I tilted my head to the side. “I challenge you not to give me an orgasm for twenty-four hours.” He raised his eyebrows and turned back to what he was doing.
I said nothing, letting the moment linger. Letting his words hover between us, embracing them, holding on to them…getting addicted to them. To the underlying current of power in every syllable. To the smooth way he strung them all together and the way he never stopped to take a breath. To the inflection in the word ‘yours.’ Addicted to the way he didn’t have to think for a second about saying them. Addicted to the way they were making me feel. Safe. Warm. Cherished. Protected. Owned. I took a deep breath that shuddered through my body. The combination of his breath mingling with mine and the tingle of his palm against my neck was heady and intoxicating. The dizzy from his words and the response they’d elicited inside me, I wanted to give in. I wanted to tell him yes. I wanted to tell him we could do that. That, despite our addictions, two opposite poles, we could make it work. But I didn’t. I couldn’t—because I
“I’m not afraid of relationships. I have an addiction to sex, not a phobia of commitment.” His words stung. They did. Right from my head to my toes. “But yes. That’s the main reason I never pursued a relationship in London. Everyone there knew who I was and what I was worth. Here in Seattle, well. I guess I just never found someone worth having a relationship for.” His gaze burning into me. “Until now,” he finished. “I wish I could be that girl.” My words were so quiet that they were practically a whisper. It was true. I wished I weren’t afraid. I wished I could tackle him with the impulsiveness I tackled Aaron’s new bar with. I wished I could throw every piece of bullshit away and gave him the thing he wanted because He deserved it. He deserved happiness. He deserved smiles and security and certainty. Something I couldn’t offer. Ivan reached across the table and linked his fingers through mine. He lifted our ha
I stifled a yawn as I followed Aaron around the new bar. They landed back in Seattle minutes after Ivan and I did, and Day took one look at me and told Aaron to bring me there.She’d taken Ivan to get coffee, and I sworn, if she was pulling her matchmaking shit, I would kill her.“What do you think?” Aaron asked.I looked around the building. Then, it was carnage in there. Builders were everywhere. There was dust and wooden planks and whatever in every single possible place. But looking at the plans in my hand—Aaron’s vision—I saw it.“I think it’s gonna be the best damn cocktail bar in the city,” I said honestly.“Good answer.” He grinned. “It should be ready to go in two weeks. When do you have to tell Donny you’re leaving?”“I’ll go by when I leave here and tell him. I’ll give him a week’s notice then take a week off.”
“I don’t know his past and he doesn’t know mine.”“Because you’re refusing to talk about it. Yeah, we talk. Just because we’re guys doesn’t mean we don’t talk about this shit. I called him a hundred times with Dayton—he’s more like my brother than anything. I know how he feels about you, Brenda. He’s told me. And let me tell you if you’d asked me six months ago if I ever thought he’d be this serious about a woman, I would have laughed at you.” His lips twitch. “I did laugh when he told me. I thought he was kidding, but he isn’t.”“It’s not just a snap decision. I can’t clap my hands together and know. I’m not holding off to protect myself. I’m doing it to protect him.”“Ivan’s a big boy. He can protect himself. I’ve seen him do it several times.”I put my face in my hands then ran my finger
“You look like you have a face slapped with a wet fish,” Nana said. “Have you been salmon fishing?”“It’s not salmon season, Nana,” I replied. “And I don’t fish.”“Not salmon season? It flamin’ well is! A bit cold for July though. Hey, Steve. Put the heat on. I’m turning into a snowman.”I raised an eyebrow at Mom. “July? Nana, it’s March.”“No, it’s July. I specifically remember arranging my next visit here for July.”“Mother,” Mom said softly. “You did. We talked about it yesterday. You said you’d come back in July.”Nana blinked at her. “Oh. Did we?”Mom noded. “Yes. You said you wanted to come up in salmon season because you wanted fresh salmon.”Nana tilted her head to the side. “Oh. Oh, all right. That would explain the temperature. Still, get t
My lips formed a wide grin. “Okay. I think my need for information is sated. For now.” “Good. And now I guess we have to get to my gritty stuff, right?” I nodded. “I fessed up. Now it’s your turn.” “Okay.” He grabbed his mug of tea and drunk half of it before setting it back on the table. He settled his arms around me again, linking his fingers on my back, and looked up. “Let’s see… When we were little, Mish and Aaron were constantly following our parents around. They wanted to know every last bit of the business. My dad tried for about a year to get me interested, but I just didn’t care. I didn’t have the right head for it. “Then we got older, and while they started internships and work experiences, I started sleeping with girls. Yeah. I was that knobhead.” He laughed. “I studied photography at A-level in college just to make up the number of courses I needed to take and fell in love with it. It was so calm and quiet compared to my rowdy, devil-may-c
He pulled on his pants and I grabbed some shorts and a T-shirt from my room. When I came back out, Ivan handed me a cup of coffee and grabbed his cup of tea. I smiled as we settled on the sofa, facing each other, my legs hooked over his. He tugged the coffee table closer so we could reach from this position. Then he wrapped his arms around me and linked his fingers behind my back.“Okay. Just…talk,” he said.“Um. Okay.” I settled my fingers against the top of his stomach. The lump in my throat was the only thing stopping bile coming up—I knew it. “Well, I went to my parents’ house yesterday. I needed to get out of the city to think. Of course, my batshit crazy nana was there, so I got more of an ass-kicking than I did thinking. But anyway, she made me realize that you have to face your fears if you’re ever going to get over them. So. Here I am. Fear-facing.”Ivan’s thumbs stroke my back gently, a
Tyler, sitting on the floor, his back against my door, throwing a tennis ball at the wall opposite him. One of his legs was bent up, the other stretched out. I watched him throw the ball, catching it one-handed every single time.I opened my mouth to talk to him, but he beat me to it.“I’ve been sitting here like a fucking idiot for about four hours. I have no idea why. At first, I thought you were in. Then I remembered you went out of town. Fuck knows where. No one will tell me where or why you went. So I sat down and started playing with this. Hit your neighbor’s door a few times. He invited me in, but I said I’d rather sit here. Got hungry and ordered pizza.” He knocked on the box next to him. “Sat here like a fucking teenage boy hung up on some girl he’s never gonna get.”My chest tightened when he looked at me. I’d never seen his eyes so empty, so dull.“That’s what I think. You know t
“I nearly lost my life!” I almost shouted. “How is that nothing? What if, next time, it’s worse? What if, next time, I do lose?”Nana’s face softened, but her eyes hardened. She leaned forward in her chair and pointed a wrinkly finger at me. “You listen to me, my girl, and you listen to me well. You’re not afraid of committing. You’re not afraid of hurting anyone. The thing you fear is weakness. It’s commendable, really, but also complete crap. The only person you’re hurting is yourself—and this boy. You’re stringing you both along because of your naivety. That’s what it is. What you are. Naïve. You think love pops up for every Tom, Dick, and Harry?”Her words stung.“It doesn’t. It isn’t something you can throw around. If you can sit there and tell me it wouldn’t kill you to walk away from him, then that’s exactly what you should do.&rdqu
“You look like you have a face slapped with a wet fish,” Nana said. “Have you been salmon fishing?”“It’s not salmon season, Nana,” I replied. “And I don’t fish.”“Not salmon season? It flamin’ well is! A bit cold for July though. Hey, Steve. Put the heat on. I’m turning into a snowman.”I raised an eyebrow at Mom. “July? Nana, it’s March.”“No, it’s July. I specifically remember arranging my next visit here for July.”“Mother,” Mom said softly. “You did. We talked about it yesterday. You said you’d come back in July.”Nana blinked at her. “Oh. Did we?”Mom noded. “Yes. You said you wanted to come up in salmon season because you wanted fresh salmon.”Nana tilted her head to the side. “Oh. Oh, all right. That would explain the temperature. Still, get t
“I don’t know his past and he doesn’t know mine.”“Because you’re refusing to talk about it. Yeah, we talk. Just because we’re guys doesn’t mean we don’t talk about this shit. I called him a hundred times with Dayton—he’s more like my brother than anything. I know how he feels about you, Brenda. He’s told me. And let me tell you if you’d asked me six months ago if I ever thought he’d be this serious about a woman, I would have laughed at you.” His lips twitch. “I did laugh when he told me. I thought he was kidding, but he isn’t.”“It’s not just a snap decision. I can’t clap my hands together and know. I’m not holding off to protect myself. I’m doing it to protect him.”“Ivan’s a big boy. He can protect himself. I’ve seen him do it several times.”I put my face in my hands then ran my finger
I stifled a yawn as I followed Aaron around the new bar. They landed back in Seattle minutes after Ivan and I did, and Day took one look at me and told Aaron to bring me there.She’d taken Ivan to get coffee, and I sworn, if she was pulling her matchmaking shit, I would kill her.“What do you think?” Aaron asked.I looked around the building. Then, it was carnage in there. Builders were everywhere. There was dust and wooden planks and whatever in every single possible place. But looking at the plans in my hand—Aaron’s vision—I saw it.“I think it’s gonna be the best damn cocktail bar in the city,” I said honestly.“Good answer.” He grinned. “It should be ready to go in two weeks. When do you have to tell Donny you’re leaving?”“I’ll go by when I leave here and tell him. I’ll give him a week’s notice then take a week off.”
“I’m not afraid of relationships. I have an addiction to sex, not a phobia of commitment.” His words stung. They did. Right from my head to my toes. “But yes. That’s the main reason I never pursued a relationship in London. Everyone there knew who I was and what I was worth. Here in Seattle, well. I guess I just never found someone worth having a relationship for.” His gaze burning into me. “Until now,” he finished. “I wish I could be that girl.” My words were so quiet that they were practically a whisper. It was true. I wished I weren’t afraid. I wished I could tackle him with the impulsiveness I tackled Aaron’s new bar with. I wished I could throw every piece of bullshit away and gave him the thing he wanted because He deserved it. He deserved happiness. He deserved smiles and security and certainty. Something I couldn’t offer. Ivan reached across the table and linked his fingers through mine. He lifted our ha
I said nothing, letting the moment linger. Letting his words hover between us, embracing them, holding on to them…getting addicted to them. To the underlying current of power in every syllable. To the smooth way he strung them all together and the way he never stopped to take a breath. To the inflection in the word ‘yours.’ Addicted to the way he didn’t have to think for a second about saying them. Addicted to the way they were making me feel. Safe. Warm. Cherished. Protected. Owned. I took a deep breath that shuddered through my body. The combination of his breath mingling with mine and the tingle of his palm against my neck was heady and intoxicating. The dizzy from his words and the response they’d elicited inside me, I wanted to give in. I wanted to tell him yes. I wanted to tell him we could do that. That, despite our addictions, two opposite poles, we could make it work. But I didn’t. I couldn’t—because I