Chapter 4 SHE SAID MY FULL NAME

I don't know if I will answer her. Besides, I don't have the guts to open up about it.

"It's better not to know anything. I think it's obvious that I don't want to talk about it, so..."

"Yeah. Yeah.. Sure.. I'm sorry..Okay, then, I won't insist. Hmm, Aren't you hungry yet? Let's eat at the cafeteria together." Jaz invited me, but why? After what I did to her ?! So good to be true .. Maybe she was planning more cruel revenge for me. I need to be careful.

"No thanks." 

"Why not? People don't normally reject me." She said, pouting her lips.

"Then I'll be the first to do so," I replied. 

"Perhaps you are afraid of me.." I grinned unwillingly. Why would I?

"Okay, fine if you are that desperate. I'm giving you a chance." I said meaningfully.

"No! I'm not!" She blurted it out with reddened cheeks. 

"I'm just being friendly. I can sense you have no friends. Great, so let's go. And maybe someone will see us here .." Jaz was right. If someone caught us, it would be our end, my dead end.

When we got to the canteen, there were too many people. There you go again, trying to get her attention. Every guy who sees her always says hi.

Jaz grabbed my hand before pulling me in, approaching the counter then she let go.

"What do you want to eat ?!" she asked excitedly. I licked my lips and then requested a clubhouse sandwich with mountain dew.

"Is that all? Aren't you going to eat rice? You can't be satisfied with bread, Anika .." hmm, am I right? Is she concerned about me? Or just my feeling?

"No.. I'm okay with the sandwich." I insisted, but then she offered more.

"How about additional french fries?" I can see the frustration on her face, but why?

"Sorry, I think it will not be enough for a whole day's class. At least add fries?" Jaz uttered, trying to convince me. Her eyes seem to hypnotize.

I grinned before I gave up. She's really something, and it's really new to me because I had no friends even before. 

Not.. because nobody wanted me but because I refused to have one. I hate it.. Only with this girl. How did she do that? How did she make me go with her?! I'm impressed.. 

I used to have a break, eat alone.. I was exhausted if somebody was around. I used to hate crowds, but she brought me here with this so many people looking at us. 

"Hi, Jaz.." A girl greeted her. 

"Hello, Trixie.."

"Who is she?" The girl asked..

"She's new here.. Anika.. her name is Anika.." The girl stretched her hand to shake hands, but I ignored it. Her frustration came out, but I didn't care. Even though she's Jaz's friend doesn't mean I have to get along with her too.

"Amm Trixie.. I'll see you later, okay?" Jaz interrupts as she feels the bad vibes starting. I stare at her to see her reaction to how I responded to her friend earlier. 

"It's fine, Anika.. Don't give me that look.. I understand if you are not comfortable being friendly. Talk out to others. Same on me, but not like you that you can be yourself anytime you feel." 

I understand what she means, but why endure if she doesn't want to? Then don't.. why need to be good at everyone if you don't feel like doing it. 

After getting our food, we walked to find a seat, but I pulled her out of the canteen because I was annoyed with the people who simultaneously greeted her, looking at us.

"Where are we going? Anika ?! Take it easy .."

"If you want to eat with me, you get used to not eating here because I hate crowds, and why do they always pay attention to you? What's wrong with them? Don't get me wrong, but there is nothing special about you, Jaz." she looked at me wickedly as we walked. When I found a nice place with no people, I just stopped.

"So, is that mean this will not be our last?!" I know what she's referring to, but I ignore it.

"Here! We can eat here .." She smiled at me.. And then I realized her white teeth.

"Okay.." She handed me my clubhouse sandwich and fries. I snigger as I recall how she insists on adding this to my meal. 

[JAZ AMANDA POV]

I'm happy I got her to eat, and guess what is outside on the vacant bench that seems like no one is going to this part of campus.

"Do you really eat rice every break? Daily?" she suddenly asked me. Why is there something different about eating rice every day? That's what our body needs to survive the tiring day, right?

"How about you? That's all you really eat every day? Daily?" we laughed together .. as we realized each other.

"Because I'm not easy to digest, I eat light or less .."

"Hmmm .. I get hungry fast. I eat a lot but don't gain much weight, so it's okay .."

"After class, do you have any plans?" I was able to ask her. I immediately avoided turning her gaze to me.

"Same as usual. Maybe in the park or at the mall. Depending on where I can think of going."

"You are lucky. You are allowed to go anywhere ?!"

"You can also do that .. it's up to you if you do what you want ..Jaz Amanda," she mentions my full name. 

"My parents won't allow me. They think I'll neglect my studies .."

I saw her smile and shake .. why is that? What's on her mind?

"Maybe your parents aren't strict, Anika .." I postscript.

"I don't have .." I stopped eating. Did I hear it right? Does she have no parents? Then who takes care of her? Now I understand why she is just like that .. That is probably the main reason ..

Because of what I learned about her, I feel I need to take care of her. I must say I prefer to take care of her.

"Are you done? I want to smoke." I heard her say.

I don't want her to smoke because it's terrible for the body. Why do I seem to be even more concerned with her now?

I inhaled, then stood up.." Okay.. then.. Let's go.."