"I'm a little like that," he confessed, turning his eyes to his own feet. "I've never been able to get totally attached to a person, after so many years of not having anything that was mine. I don't know if Hazz told you, but our parents don't even own the farm where they worked since they were little. And we didn't have much to call ours there. So I ended up growing up with the idea that I could use something, so get rid of it when I got tired. It took me a long time to understand that it was not fair to do this with the girls who were interested in me, but not before I got involved in all kinds of problems possible. My whole life, I thought that was right, because I got used to it from an early age.”"It makes a little sense, as I said "I sighed softly, already feeling the calm invading my body. "Only the mark that my father left also prevents me from fully trusting people. To trust my life to anyone other than myself. I think the way he died, and having found the body first, made a
"Were you heard anything about yesterday's rebellion? "I asked Ramirez.My cellmate interrupted his routine sunbathing, and opened one of his eyes to watch me.After helping Joana get some kind of medicine in the infirmary, I immediately went back to the kitchen and questioned my co-workers. None of them knew how to tell me who had started all that. They had not participated, and were inside the cafeteria along with all the others.They knew despite telling me that some guards and other inmates had been murdered. But as far as they would realize, everything seemed to have been armed. They weren't killing anyone. There was an order to be followed.I looked for Ramirez everywhere that day, but I couldn't find him. I only went to see him again during the night, when we were ready to sleep and I was coming back from my private appointment with the doctor. He didn't say anything when he saw me enter the cell, and slept quickly, or at least pretended. I didn't touch on the subject. I spent
"I don't believe in your theory, but I think everyone in this prison has some reason to want your head off your neck," said Ramirez, lowering his tone of voice. "Get smart, Pablo. I’ve been hearing that the gang leaders are just waiting for a reason to end you. I don't know where this implication comes from, but it's good that you're prepared.”"Fuck it," I cursed, shrugging. "I just worry about what they really want with Joana.”Ramirez frowned, then watched me with half-closed eyes."Whe would your lawyer be involved in this, Pablo?”"Everything seems to be connected to her," I reflected in a low tone. The night before, I could barely sleep with that suspicion hovering over my head. Since Joana confessed to what happened in her family, I've been thinking about the coincidences. It was absurd, but considering the rebellion and her reports about her father, it could be connected in some way. "The father was murdered and they never found the suspect, after that, some tragic events cont
"The pedophiles deserve death," I said without hesitation. Ramirez vehemently agreed with his head. For that subject, there was no discussion, but he was right. "As for us and the human mind, I have a different thought. I think that even if I don't have a difficult life, people like us would be doe to live situations like this. Some are simply born to receive punishments and others are born to shine. I always thought that way when I was younger, and this was only confirmed when I noticed that the real world was worse than I thought. I wasn't influenced to be in the wrong place and at the wrong time, it was a choice. And it wasn't totally out of hunger or fear. I just thought nothing would happen. My courage was my greatest act of stupidity. It had nothing to do with my parents.”Ramirez nodded, remaining silent the next moment. He looked at a corner away from the prison, where there was no one, so I noticed that he was still thinking about his own theories about life and divine punish
My mother gave me a lecture for hours after I returned home at the end of the prison rebellion.The news had spread to all possible gossip sites, since I had been committed to warning as many journalists as I found in my contacts, and warned some promoter friends of what was happening inside that place. If it weren't for those calls, I was sure I would already be dead. Without a doubt. There would be no table or chair that would prevent that door from coming down."Do you have any idea of everything that could have happened in there? " shouted my mother, out of her mind. She walked back and forth on the cute carpet in her office. My eyes were kept on my own feet, because my mother had the gift of making us ashamed in any situation. "Joana, you are the best lawyer in this country. She can't afford to continue attending that prison without some security trained to protect her in drastic situations like this. Is there a reason why your security guards need to accompany you every second o
My heart almost didn't fit in my chest after noticing her expression when talking about my father. My mother's eyes, always so centered and striking, became lost and dark. She couldn't smile tenderly when talking about him. She simply closed herself to the world. Exactly the way my sisters and I did it.Exactly the way we found to protect ourselves after that terrible pain. My mother was a mirror that all of us, the five sisters, looked at each other every day. Even if our lives were different, even with boyfriends and security, there was still that brand. There was still the death of our father. Our greatest foundation. And we would never get over it."I don't like to imagine this kind of thing either," I admitted with a dry throat.My mother took a deep breath again."So try not to think, maybe that way the pain will pass.”I denied it with my head." Even if we all mysteriously suffer from Amnesia, it will never pass.”"Who knows? "She pondered. "I believe everything happens for a
"I have a personal question," Pablo began, and I sat a little more upright against the cold wall. He coughed lightly. "Are you dating someone at the moment?”I giggled softly."Do you want to flirt with me, babe? "I asked."No, I don't know how to flirt," he said, sincere, shrugging. "Women usually exchanged two glances and then everything happened. It was like magic.”"Uh" I mocked, laughing. "I don't doubt you could make any woman crawl. Even if you're arrested, you're still not one to throw yourself away. But, answering your question, no, I don't date anyone. I mean, I have an unresolved case.”" One more," he joked."It is, but this case is a little complex," I said softly, and Pablo arched his eyebrows in an encouraging way. "Well, I kind of dated a guy, so we broke up and he came back with his ex-wife. So he broke up with her, and we kind of came back. Then we realized that we didn't work that way, together, and we moved away again. The problem is that separately we didn't work
" Tell me more about yourself" I asked in a low tone.Joana yawned, then took another deep sip of wine."What exactly do you need to know?”"Your whole story," I spoke with a shrug. "Do you have any crazy life goals, or just want to continue being a gossipy and very stubborn lawyer?”Joana laughed, echoing the sound of laughter throughout the intimate cell."I'm not that gossipy, stop it," she grumbled, but rested the glass of wine between her legs and leaned her head on the wall. "I already wanted to be an astronaut, can you believe it?”"Real? "I asked, unbelieving. "I don't know how you could stand to spend years of expedition in a secluded place.”"Not me either. I'd probably be.”"So why have you ever thought about it?”Joana shrugged."I was never a normal child," she said, nibbling her lower lip as she remembered. "I was luckier than most, I presume, but still... I've always been kind of weird. I don't say in relation to my personality. It's something more complex than that.”"