7- Vanilla

Vanessa, darling. Where are you? Mommy wants to play.

If you tell your Father about our little game, I would cut off your tongue!

Stop that blasted crying!

I jerk from the bed, panting heavily as I look around the room. The lights are off but the window is open, letting the curtains that are yellow with some Winnie the Pooh characters on them as I stare at the moon.

Crescent.

I shiver a bit as I realize I've been sweating again but I don't want to stay in this room anymore.

I had never liked the idea of staying alone.

Mother Superior knew that and when she felt like beating me to pieces wasn't actually going to do much, she'd send me to the cellar, keep me there for days till she knew I was weak from screaming too loud.

But of course no one knew.

I couldn't dare be ungrateful.

Even I, with my big mouth, knew that.

I quickly take the yellow blanket on my bed and wrap it around my body then begin to walk outside the room.

The whole house is eerily dark and quiet but I don't want to stop walking.

It felt like stopping would make her get me and so I just keep moving.

When I reach the door, I pull the handles, letting out a relieved breath when I realize it's not locked like the cellar and step out, the moonlight brighter now.

I sit on the top of the stairs, keeping my legs in an X position as I tug the blanket closer to my body, letting out another breath as steam comes out from my mouth.

"You are definitely not sleep walking"

My head snaps back, fear creeping in before I let out another sigh, calming down "Cream. Don't do that"

The male is at the door, white eyelashes staring at me while he rests the side of his body on it.

I notice he's wearing a white robe, though one side of it is down, showing his shoulder while I notice the gold goblet in his hand.

His face, as ever, is without emotions.

I look away, because I know it's rude to stare, curling the blanket more around me as I hear the pad of his feet as he comes closer before he stops at my side "May I join you?"

I nod.

He does so, sitting with his back as straight as a wall while he keeps staring at the gate, tilting his head at it "Were you trying to leave?"

I let out a small scoff "Not like I had anywhere I could go if I wanted to, to be honest, at least not here in Aeria"

"But if you did, would you have left?"

Maybe it's because it's just the two of us, but his voice is a notch easier to hear, or maybe it's the wind just taking the words easily to my ears, I have no idea "I had a nightmare, that's all"

"And it took you outside?"

"I—" I take in a huge breath then let it out "I don't like sleeping alone. I've spent most of my life sleeping in a room full of people so it felt really choking inside"

"How odd"

"What is?" I ask, looking at him.

He's still staring at the gate "That a room full of people is not what you'd consider choking"

I give a small smile "I guess I was supposed to use another word. Like Safe. I feel safer when I sleep with other people" Then after seconds of silence, I quickly add "Like the normal kind of sleep, not the other one that leads to babies and tears"

He doesn't say anything about that.

We stay quiet again, and yet, for a talkative like me, even the silence is alright, I can stand it.

"Sometimes I forget to sleep"

I look at him again as he spoke "You forget? Is that possible?"

"It happens to me so I guess" He says quietly.

"So you don't get tired?"

"I feel tired all the time. I don't want to sleep but I don't want to be awake" He says "Feels like existing is a job. I don't like jobs"

Isn't that depression?

"I don't want to die" He says as if he's reading my thoughts "I just don't—" He lets out a calm sigh "Care"

"Oh" I understand nothing "Is that why you're here?"

He looks at me, eyes barely open for me to see, voice so dull it sounds like he's mocking me "Not exactly"

And that's all he says about that.

Not that he wants to say more. I could already tell he was tired of talking about himself.

"Do you wanna share the blanket?" I ask after a while "It's getting kind of chilly and you're barely— Um—"

"I don't feel cold either" He cuts in "Or warm. I don't feel things as I should"

"Is that a good thing or...."

He doesn't answer me anyway.

I move closer to him after that, wrapping my blanket around his body as I hold his hands.

It's slim and cold, making me blow air on it as I rub my hands together and hold it again "You might not feel it but you could actually fall sick and I'm sure you'd feel that"

Cream doesn't say anything about it, neither does he stop me.

When I'm sure his hands warm enough, I look at the goblet "Is that wine?"

"This?"

He takes it up, twirling the liquid content inside "It's water"

I look into it now "Why is it in a goblet?"

He turns to me, eyes looking like it doesn't understand what I just asked or why I even asked "Because it looks classy"

He literally just said that in a 'duh, it's obvious' tone.

Why does it make me want to laugh?

"Okay" I say with a sigh, letting go of his hand "It's warm now"

Immediately I do so, his hand is grabbing mine, in a grip that's rather soft but making it obvious he didn't want to let go "No"

"No?" I repeat.

"If you let go, my hand would be cold"

Well, that reason sounded weird. I already knew that it would be cold, and yet, when he said those words, he still had his expressionless face on and his voice was as devoid of emotions as ever, as if he was being sarcastic even though I also knew he couldn't possibly be that.

Was that why he sounded like this?

Because he couldn't feel things well enough?

I don't ask anyway, just let him keep holding my hand as we stay under the blankets, the heat radiating from our bodies keeping us both warm before I say "It's getting colder. When do you plan on going back in?"

"When you go back"

I look at him now "You can't be serious"

For the second time that day, he turns to look at me, white hair blowing in the wind as he says "Do I look like I could make a joke even if I wanted?"

Nope.

"But still—" I drawl "You could get a cold"

"So could you"

I sigh, knowing that he wouldn't accept defeat now, or ever "Alright then, why don't we just both go inside? So we both don't get sick?"

"Okay"

So compliant.

As soon as I stand, he's standing as well, like I'm remote controlling him with every move I make.

When we get in, I shut the door with my free hand then walk back up the stairs while be stays at my side, eyes staring into thin air like he's sleep walking before we reach my door and I stop "Okay. This is where I say goodnight"

He just blinks at the door.

I try to pull my hand out of his but I realize his grip doesn't want that happening "Um, Cream? You're still holding me"

As if that snaps him out of his trance, he looks at our hands, then at me "You want me to let go?"

I give a small chuckle "Well, you have to go to your room—"

"I don't want to"

I pause "What?"

He repeats it, sounding like a child someone just told to return the cookie he just stole.

A very stubborn child "I don't want to"

For the love of God, what have I gotten myself into?

"Why not?" I ask, frustration brewing inside me.

His reply was quick "You said you didn't want to sleep alone so I want to sleep with you"

Why am I getting horror movie vibes? Like the person I'm holding is a four year old ghost that's taking the likeness of Cream because he's literally the easiest to copy?

"That's nice of you" I say, feeling tired now "But I think I'd be fine—"

He tilts his head again, a habit that's becoming really creepy now "Do you think I'd take advantage of you?"

I quickly shake my head, the thought letting the tiredness evaporate "You? Pfft. No. I just— I just have to learn, on my own"

Cream stares at me, eyes so blank it feels like he's staring into my soul "So this isn't you sending me off so you'd try to run away?"

"No, of course not!" 

He keeps staring "But your eyes—" 

Then he comes closer, me taking a step back as I hit the wall while he leans closer, his breath cold as ice as he says "Your eyes tell me you're hiding something"

We stay like that for a while, me pinned to the wall as he towers over me, still staring into my eyes and as much as I wish I could look away, I can't.

Finally, he moves back, letting my hand go as he turns around and walks down the hall, his soft walking barely making any sound.

Then I hear nothing else as he pauses at the door, as if he's about to rethink leaving me behind, but eventually I hear the sound of a door opening and closing, making me let out a small breath.

What in God's name was that about?