1. What Did I Do Wrong?

It's been all my life since I have longed to have a simple life. I dream to spend my everyday not doing any kind of work, for example waking up at twelve in the afternoon, going to the kitchen to eat breakfast, after that move to the lounge to watch television, and then watch the maids do all the work. If you don't call this simple then what can it be.

But it is different from how I am living. Reality is always disappointing.

First of all, let me introduce myself, my name is Lara Bloemfield and I am twenty-five years old. I work in town whilst living under my parent's roof. I like spending my time with my family. Sitting in our lounge or sometimes dining room. Playing games or sharing folktales not that I have any grandparents. I never got to meet them.

I have lived here in Niapan with my filthy rich parents who pester me to work in their company. I go there after doing my part in the household chores. Sadly my wish is totally crushed as long as that hug is alive. I am rich, no my parents are rich but they don't let me behave like the way I should.

Anyway, enough of this, let me talk more about us. We are a family of four, me, my mother, father and my elder sister. My mother is named Sapphire Keenyl and she is forty-five years old. She is strict and she is also a businesswoman. She always orders me around and has her eyes all over me. She leaves me no room to dirty my bedroom or spend my time doing nothing. She is really the twin of the devil in my eyes. Sometimes, I wonder why she had to marry my father. His name is Martin Bloemfield and he is the opposite of her, he is always cheerful and not really smart. I am very close to him than mom.

My life is wonderful but of course, it has its ups and downs.

Why was I brought into this world?

I have been asking myself this question for a while now, since my graduation day. I don't see the reason why I am living.

Everything I do is per my parent's wishes. I always struggle to get any words out, words that spell out what I really want.

It is at times like this, when I am sitting in the dining room which is a little bit small with mahogany table and eight chairs filling the bottom space. I am busy in thought of how I am going to tell them. I look around at my parents, my elder sister, my aunt, her husband and their child, Rose. I am very eager to share some great news. Gosh, I am so excited.

Xavier King, is the man of my dreams. My soon-to-be husband. He is the only man aside my father whom I love and dream to be part of his life. And now we can finally be together. Can't I call this good news. The memory is still fresh in my mind, seeing him on one knee as he kept mumbling under his breath.

The huskiness in his voice beating my heart to life.

"Xavier. What are you doing?" I asked as he knelt on the floor in the small restaurant near my workplace. It is after all a good place for couples like us. Who hide from their parents, afraid to be caught red handed and forced to break up and go along with an arranged marriage.

We were having a date like any other. Holding hands. Smooching here and there. Sharing how we spent the day. I was surprised when he suddenly took out a small red box and opened it before my eyes only to see a beautiful diamond ring. He took hold of my hand squeezing it affectionately, declaring his love to me, infront of everyone. At least people who don't know us.

"...umm...(clears his throat)... I want to spend the rest of my life with you babe. I want to be the first person you see when you wake up each and every morning. Give you a good morning kiss and praising you for your deadly beauty. You being the last person I see before sleep makes me very happy. Be my wife ..... will you love." I can remember the feeling that was evoked in me as tears fell continuously. Seeing him smile but rather nervous waiting for my answer.

"La.ra..aa dear !" I barely could hear the nagging voice of my mother who sat beside my father. The man I always look up to. He is the vey best father of the family. My father. I love him very much. I also love my family and I am confident they are going to support me through the wedding arrangements.

"Why are you spacing out a lot today. Is there anything bothering you. Perhaps something we should know."

"Not really. It's just that I need to discuss with you all something serious. Something very special to me. My whole world is depending on it." I smiled as I waited for the magic words to pop up.

"Go on"

I stayed quiet trying to build some curiosity in them. Also waiting for my sister, Sheila to sit with us. Looking at aunt and uncle as they too were being curious, glancing at each other. Rose had finished eating and left to sleep early.

"Mom, dad I know I have not been close to you as you wanted me to, because I was busy out there trying to grab something I want to shamelessly call mine. Something that will change my life. I never thought this day would come when I share the happiest moment in my life. I am in love with Xavier King. He is a nice guy. He loves me very much. I wish I would've brought him here but we got very busy. And he proposed today," I declared watching Sheila as she fidgeted on her sit. Gripping her fork tightly as she jabbed at the food in her plate.

Not putting all that in my mind I continued, "I love him so much but don't worry your love is still here." I joked pointing at my chest. "The important part of this conversation is that we are getting married and mom, dad, I need your blessings." Throughout this, I could see my father getting angry, his face getting redder and redder. Uncle and aunt whispering to each other. My mother being a mere spectator.

I was more than surprised when I felt a sting on my cheek. I immediately brought my palm up to it, lessening the pain as so much added on in my chest. It felt like countless needles were picking my fragile and soft heart.

I looked up at the man towering in front of me as he stood straight preparing for a second attack. I could not understand the situation at all.

What did I do wrong? I asked myself as I felt the familiar salty fluid rolling down my cheeks as I looked at the man I admired the most up to this very day, witnessing the unspeakable.

My mind went blank as I stood still like a statue just carved out at that moment. I could still feel some piercing pain trying to dig deep into my heart. I could not stand properly as I felt my eyes getting heavy and I fell to the ground. Feeling suffocated and something else. My eyes gradually closed and I don't remember anything after that.

I woke up to the sound of my alarm on the phone. It was now early morning and the light was already entering inbetween a gap between the velvet curtains. My eyes also started hurting quite a little bit. Rubbing my puffy eyes, I folded the white sheets to the side where there was space and stood up.

As I got up, I felt pain all over my body. I walked close to the curtain and opened it as I looked outside the window to see that some little birds were chirping happily as they flew around the branch that was close to the window.

I had slept for almost a day. My head started aching as I tried to recall what has happened. Then it kicked in, the shock, my father slapping the day lights out of me.

My emotions got stirred up and all I could think of is how I can get through this. I really feel hurt and helpless. What am I going to tell him. Life couldn't get any better.

I had already decided to change for the better after my wedding with him. I shouldn't be acting like a spoilt child after becoming a wife but now I have to be strong and I need to take control of my life.

First I need to go downstairs and give them a piece of my mind. Even if I really feel as if some part of me has been torn by that single slap. That maybe engraved in my memory forever. I don't think I will see him as the man I saw him as before.

I walked back to my bed and grabbed my phone only to see twenty missed calls from the man I am forbidden to love. Not forbidden but not allowed to marry. I asked myself if I wanted to end up like Romeo and Juliet, the two protagonists in Shakespeare's work. Or to save the poor boy's life from such a saddening fate. Was it all worth it?

I decided to end things with him but I promise myself that I am never going to lose anyone again. I am going to grow strong and cautious.

The version of the old me is gone. The me that is so naive, a fool that believed love could solve everything. In ten minutes time I am going down to show them the me that has revolved through this suffering.

I put on my favourite jaggine and a lime crop top and sauntered downstairs for dinner.

When I was about to reach the dining room. I heard my father bickering with Sheila who ended up drawn to his jokes. Those I had gotten used to. Sometimes it seems as if my father loves Sheila more than me. I have been blinded by love not to care for it but now it costs me.

I sigh as I mentally prepared myself to face the whole lot of them.