I peel my eyes open and look around the dull, white hospital room. The lights are harsh and I find myself squinting because of them. The sanitized smell of the atmosphere burns my nose. Elliot is asleep in a chair at the foot of the bed, his head rests on his arms which are folded on top of the mattress. The beeping of multiple machines reverberate in my ears. I examine the wires attached to my body. An IV in my hand, pulse oximeter clip on my index finger. EKG chords attached to my chest and a thin oxygen tube positioned beneath my nose. I brush the tips of my fingers against the oxygen tube and wiggle the finger with the pulse oximeter attached. "Kristine? Honey?" Mom whispers as she leans forward in her chair. I slowly turn my head to look at her and the corner of my mouth pulls into a pained smile. I try to speak but nothing comes out. "Don't talk, you've had a tube in your throat. You're going to be sore for a little while." I nod. I drop my hand from the oxygen tube and plac
"Welcome back!" My co-worker's voices echo through the office, catching me off guard and causing me to stumble backwards. My hands fly to my mouth in surprise. Bouquets of fresh flowers, cards, and treats overflow on my desk. I smile and drop my bag onto the floor, picking up some of the cards and looking through them. "Guys, this is too much. You didn't need to do this," I say, teary eyed. Julia wraps one arm around me. "We wanted you to know we missed you and we're happy that you're back. The last two months without you have been too quiet." I brush the tears from my cheek with the back of my hand. "Thank you everyone." After receiving gentle hugs from each of my co-workers, I close my office door and ease myself down into my chair. My body is still sore, my movements are slow and rigid. I take a deep breath and rest my head against the back of the chair. The day has barely even started and I'm already exhausted. I open my laptop and turn it on, the screen coming to life for the
"Three more!" Kate cheers. I groan, sweat drips down my forehead, my muscles beg for me to stop. One, two, three. I let out a deep breath and collapse onto the floor, lying flat on my back. "Careful of your head!" Kate gasps. I shoot her an annoyed look. "I'm fine. It's been three months, Kate." "Okay if you're so fine, get off the floor by yourself." Kate stands back and crosses her arms over her chest, looking at me skeptically. Fuck. Come on, Kristine. Get up. I sit up and ease myself onto my knees, I push myself off of the floor using extra support from my hands. I wince as I stand up straight and I breathe hard as I place my hands on my hips. "Ha. Did it." I stick my nose up in the air. "I wish I could have gotten a video of that, you looked ridiculous," Kate snorts. I playfully punch her arm. "Get out of here, go home," I laugh. "Happily." She sticks her tongue out at me. "But first—" Kate steps toward me and checks my eyes and my heart rate, before taking a quick lo
I brush my thumb along Elliot's jaw line, feeling the soft stubble on his chin against the pad of my finger. He sleeps soundly, softly snoring, his naked body barely covered by my bed sheet. I love you... I rest my head on my arm and clench my eyes shut. My mind races and my body aches. I think back to a year ago, when Elliot and I had first met in that loud, sweaty club. When he had taken me home and reawakened my body that night. When his company and his touch made me crave him more and more each day. And now... I loved every minute of what happened earlier in the evening, feeling like we were one again, like there was nothing wrong. And yet, nothing was the same. We've changed. I've changed. Three months ago, I left him. Everything we built together had come to an abrupt end. I love him. But I can't forget what he'd done. And yet, after I left him, he sat by my side for days on end until I woke up in the hospital. He loves me, endlessly, unconditionally which is a love I've ne
"Do you still think about him?" Anna asks quietly, stroking the hand of the small blanketed bundle in my arms. I nod, meeting her eyes. "I do. Every day," I sigh. "I really thought I'd be able to build a life with him. Get married, have kids..." I look back down. "...have something like you and Ben do." Anna chuckles softly. "Be glad you can wait a little longer on the having kids part." She takes the baby from my arms and lays him in his crib. "Leo has quite the personality of his own already," she says, admiring her son. Motherhood suits her. I've never seen Anna glow the way she does when she looks at her child. I take one last look at Leo, my godchild, sleeping soundly before following Anna back out into the living room. I sit down on the couch across the room from her, folding my legs beneath me and hug a pillow to my chest. Their home has finally come together, the last touches being Leo's nursery. The living room and kitchen are now an open floor concept after my destruction
Name: Kristine Chase Age: 25 Location: Chicago Career...Education...Political Views...I purse my lips and stare blankly at the questions before me. I'm getting tired of repeatedly sharing this information, and each time the questions appear to grow more specific. Bumble, Tinder, Match. App after app, failed date after date. What's the point? I lounge comfortably on the couch in the living room of my small, one-bedroom Chicago apartment, enjoying the company of my best friend, Kate. It's a Saturday night and the lights of the city shine through the open window, flowing in with the cool spring breeze. I'm dressed comfortably in leggings and a loose sweatshirt with my hair tied in a messy bun on the top of my head, the usual attire for a girl's night in. Kate emerges from the kitchen, drinks in hand. She places a glass of wine on the coffee table in front of me. I drop my phone onto the couch and pick up the glass, swirling the red liquid around a few times before taking a long swig
We arrive at the stranger's apartment; a small building located a short distance away from the club. My body floods with a pleasurable warmth that settles between my legs. Every inch of me seems to buzz with excitement, eager to continue what we'd started at the club. This is something new, an impulse I've never be confident enough to act on, and I've never felt more alive. He fumbles with his keys and I shift my weight between my feet, impatient for us to be alone. The door swings open and he takes my hand in his, leading me inside. Before the door has the chance to close, I'm suddenly pressed against it, feeling it slam shut by the force of his body against mine. The cold wood is a welcoming feeling against my sweaty back. He leans down and traces the tip of his nose from the base of my neck up to my ear. Again, the lightness of his touch sends chills through my body. I sharply inhale and a soft moan escapes me.God, I've missed this feeling. The stranger's hands explore my body;
I inhale as I roll over, extending my arms to stretch out my sore muscles. The faint smell of sex masked by men's cologne fills my nose, a scent I'm very unfamiliar with. I rub my eyes on the back of my hands to wake myself up, as I pull them away, I notice dark streaks of make up across my skin. Since when do I go to sleep with make up on? Sunlight creeps into the room through a dark gray curtain, illuminating the dark room. I take in my surroundings and realize I am not in my own bed. I look around the small space, it's bare other than a few shelves and pictures hung on the walls. Where am I? I glance down and see my bare body covered in a white sheet. I sit up and pull it closer against me, as if it offers some form of protection. What did I do last night? I squeeze my eyes shut, attempting to filter through the hazy memories of my evening. A shallow snore comes from the mattress beside me. I look over my left shoulder and notice a man there, fast asleep. The memories come floo
"Do you still think about him?" Anna asks quietly, stroking the hand of the small blanketed bundle in my arms. I nod, meeting her eyes. "I do. Every day," I sigh. "I really thought I'd be able to build a life with him. Get married, have kids..." I look back down. "...have something like you and Ben do." Anna chuckles softly. "Be glad you can wait a little longer on the having kids part." She takes the baby from my arms and lays him in his crib. "Leo has quite the personality of his own already," she says, admiring her son. Motherhood suits her. I've never seen Anna glow the way she does when she looks at her child. I take one last look at Leo, my godchild, sleeping soundly before following Anna back out into the living room. I sit down on the couch across the room from her, folding my legs beneath me and hug a pillow to my chest. Their home has finally come together, the last touches being Leo's nursery. The living room and kitchen are now an open floor concept after my destruction
I brush my thumb along Elliot's jaw line, feeling the soft stubble on his chin against the pad of my finger. He sleeps soundly, softly snoring, his naked body barely covered by my bed sheet. I love you... I rest my head on my arm and clench my eyes shut. My mind races and my body aches. I think back to a year ago, when Elliot and I had first met in that loud, sweaty club. When he had taken me home and reawakened my body that night. When his company and his touch made me crave him more and more each day. And now... I loved every minute of what happened earlier in the evening, feeling like we were one again, like there was nothing wrong. And yet, nothing was the same. We've changed. I've changed. Three months ago, I left him. Everything we built together had come to an abrupt end. I love him. But I can't forget what he'd done. And yet, after I left him, he sat by my side for days on end until I woke up in the hospital. He loves me, endlessly, unconditionally which is a love I've ne
"Three more!" Kate cheers. I groan, sweat drips down my forehead, my muscles beg for me to stop. One, two, three. I let out a deep breath and collapse onto the floor, lying flat on my back. "Careful of your head!" Kate gasps. I shoot her an annoyed look. "I'm fine. It's been three months, Kate." "Okay if you're so fine, get off the floor by yourself." Kate stands back and crosses her arms over her chest, looking at me skeptically. Fuck. Come on, Kristine. Get up. I sit up and ease myself onto my knees, I push myself off of the floor using extra support from my hands. I wince as I stand up straight and I breathe hard as I place my hands on my hips. "Ha. Did it." I stick my nose up in the air. "I wish I could have gotten a video of that, you looked ridiculous," Kate snorts. I playfully punch her arm. "Get out of here, go home," I laugh. "Happily." She sticks her tongue out at me. "But first—" Kate steps toward me and checks my eyes and my heart rate, before taking a quick lo
"Welcome back!" My co-worker's voices echo through the office, catching me off guard and causing me to stumble backwards. My hands fly to my mouth in surprise. Bouquets of fresh flowers, cards, and treats overflow on my desk. I smile and drop my bag onto the floor, picking up some of the cards and looking through them. "Guys, this is too much. You didn't need to do this," I say, teary eyed. Julia wraps one arm around me. "We wanted you to know we missed you and we're happy that you're back. The last two months without you have been too quiet." I brush the tears from my cheek with the back of my hand. "Thank you everyone." After receiving gentle hugs from each of my co-workers, I close my office door and ease myself down into my chair. My body is still sore, my movements are slow and rigid. I take a deep breath and rest my head against the back of the chair. The day has barely even started and I'm already exhausted. I open my laptop and turn it on, the screen coming to life for the
I peel my eyes open and look around the dull, white hospital room. The lights are harsh and I find myself squinting because of them. The sanitized smell of the atmosphere burns my nose. Elliot is asleep in a chair at the foot of the bed, his head rests on his arms which are folded on top of the mattress. The beeping of multiple machines reverberate in my ears. I examine the wires attached to my body. An IV in my hand, pulse oximeter clip on my index finger. EKG chords attached to my chest and a thin oxygen tube positioned beneath my nose. I brush the tips of my fingers against the oxygen tube and wiggle the finger with the pulse oximeter attached. "Kristine? Honey?" Mom whispers as she leans forward in her chair. I slowly turn my head to look at her and the corner of my mouth pulls into a pained smile. I try to speak but nothing comes out. "Don't talk, you've had a tube in your throat. You're going to be sore for a little while." I nod. I drop my hand from the oxygen tube and plac
"The surgery was successful. Bleeding is under control, it doesn't look like there will be any long lasting damage. Recovery from wounds like this could take time, but she was very fortunate." "Thank you, thank you very much doctor," my mother says through muffled sobs. I hear footsteps retreating and the click of a door closing. Mom sits down beside me and runs her fingers through my hair. "Did you hear that, baby? You're going to be okay." **** "Elliot, go home and get some rest," Mom says softly. "You need to clean yourself up." "I can't. I can't leave yet." Elliot's voice is strained and hoarse. "Honey..." My mom's voice cracks. "You still have her...her blood all over you. Please. Go home, shower, change, there will still be a place here for you when you get back." "My shirt... I–I didn't even realize..." **** "Three stab wounds to the abdomen. Two broken ribs. Concussion and minor brain bleed as a result of a skull fracture?" Kate lists off. "Her neck and face are cove
"No, please." I try to fight him off. "Mr. Harris—" "Shut up," he hisses in my ear. A slight whimper escapes my lips. He turns around and hits the emergency stop button on the elevator panel. "You've ruined everything for me. I've lost it all. My home, my wife, my kids, my job. It's all gone and it's all because of you," "Doing this... Won't help your case..." I spit. I ball my hand into a fist lift my arm, attempting to hit him. He wraps his meaty hand around my wrist and pins it against the elevator wall. "Probably not, but it sure does make me feel better." He removes his forearm from my throat, replacing it with his hand. I take in a quick breath before I feel his thumb and fingers press against my airway. "I haven't got anything else to lose." I've reached my limit. My sadness, my disappointment, my anger, spills over all at once. I haven't got anything else to lose. "You fucking did this to yourself," I force the words past my lips, I'm finding it harder to breathe. "What
A recess is called and I'm ushered out of the courtroom, Brian and Elliot escort me back to the conference room where Julia is waiting. Julia rises from her seat as we enter the small room and I quickly put distance between myself and Elliot. "They seem satisfied with what you've said, Kristine. I believe you and Julia can leave,." Brian tells us. "Thank you," I say as I quickly throw my bag over my shoulder. "Good luck, gentlemen," Julia says as she recollects her papers. We hurriedly exit the room, leaving Brian and Elliot behind. "Kristine!" Elliot calls after me in a hushed tone. "Wait a minute!" I stop walking, close my eyes and inhale. I flex my fingers before clenching them together, my nails digs into my palms, the sensation grounding my emotions. "We can keep going, Kris. We're done here." Julia grabs my arm, gently pulling. I shake my head. "I'll meet you at the car in a few minutes," I tell her. "He's going to keep trying. I need to just hear what he has to say." Sh
"Shit!" I hear Kate mutter, followed by a soft thud. "Dammit.""Are you okay?" I call from the bathroom. "Have I ever told you that you own a lot of shit?" She groans. I stifle a laugh,. "Yeah, once or twice." While I had been with my parents, Kate managed to recollect all of my belongings from Elliot's apartment. He had been there while she was repacking some of the boxes, but wouldn't tell me much more than that. Part of me wanted to know how he was doing, the other part of me wanted him to not exist. "I have another apartment showing scheduled tomorrow, you'll only have to deal with me for a little longer." I've been sleeping on Kate's couch for nearly two weeks now, and today is my first day back in the office after taking some personal time to recollect myself. While I'm not whole, I'm at least functional. "You know you can stay here as long as you want,." Kate tells me, leaning against the bathroom door. "Maybe I'll just move into the storage unit with the rest of my thin