I could almost feel his lips on mine, but then Jakob cleared his throat deliberately. I blinked in confusion to see that he actually took a step backwards, releasing me. His hands had landed on my back before that. Only then did I realize what I had wanted to do. My pupils dilated drastically. I ran my right hand through my hair unsteadily.What should I do or say now? Luckily, Jake took the next step for me. Or should I rather say unfortunately? He burst out in fits of laughter. If only it were that! He was laughing almost like a madman. I had never seen anyone laugh so scornfully.Half an eternity seemed to pass before he finally regained his composure. Then he said coldly, "You should drink less, baby. Otherwise you'll end up in my bed at some point.". "Um, what?" I asked to be on the safe side, to be able to rule out not having misheard me.Alas, Jake immediately nipped my hopes in the bud. "You heard me right. If you continue like this, I'll get what I want from you faster than y
I stood there stunned. Still. What was that supposed to mean? Once again I didn't understand at all what Jakob wanted to achieve with the action. Or in general with his strange behavior. One mystery after another surrounded him. I wondered how I could possibly solve them. One after the other. Although I would prefer all of them at once.But then the next question arose. Namely, whether it might not be better if I didn't find out more about him. After all, Jacob will not have said without reason that nobody knows him and that it is better that way. My concerns were reinforced with one of his last sentences. Was he really as 'fucked up' as he said he was?I had no idea what the word meant to him. At least for me it was that someone was totally done with the world, as the saying goes. I didn't mean little things that passed after a few days or weeks. I've carried my secret around with me for ten years, but I would never call myself a broken person. My life was fine so far.What actually
It was a beautiful summer day in August. Everything shone in the most beautiful and strongest colors I had ever seen. It smelled wonderfully of flowers. The sky was as blue as the sea. Just beautiful. You couldn't see a single cloud on the horizon. The trees provided shade that protected you from the sun, which almost burned your skin like fire.I waited impatiently at the statue in the park. He had asked me for a quick meeting that I couldn't say no to. I also wanted to tell him today what had been on my mind for almost a year. I had also made myself extra chic for this. Just to please him. I wore a white dress that came down to my knees. It was decorated with butterflies. My hair was pinned up with a bobby pin. Only a few strands fell on my face.Where is he? My patience has been stretched. On the cell phone he sounded very urgent, almost begging. When I was about to leave - after all, I had already been waiting for him for half an hour! - I saw him coming towards me. He looked amaz
The next morning dawned. Well rested and in a good mood, I took a shower. I didn't apply any make-up afterwards, since I left it entirely to Miguel, my make-up artist. He already knew what suited me and what didn't. Besides, he knew me way too well and wouldn't do anything to make me look like a whore.A smile curled my lips. I was really looking forward to the upcoming shoot. So I put on turquoise pants and a black blouse. I left my hair down, which allowed Miguel to do things. Finally, I put on my black ballet flats. So overall I was pretty good looking, if I had to admit it to myself.I arrived at the agency at twelve o'clock sharp. As always, I greeted all my colleagues with a friendly smile and immediately went into makeup. "How are you, Lia?" my make-up artist asked me, to which I replied: "I'm fine and you?". He was fine too, which made me happy. "Tell me, what do you have planned for me?" I asked about the look Miguel had planned for my shoot.He seemed to have been waiting fo
A few days had passed since I had followed Jakob. It was getting warmer and warmer, no wonder, after all it was the beginning of May and spring was in its full bloom. I looked sadly out of my window. How I missed Jake! I was just waiting to hear from him, but he didn't get back to me.Why should he? After all, I made him understand again and again that he should kindly leave me alone. Of course, this also included deleting my cell phone number or not stalking me anymore. Just how stupid was I to push the man I loved away from me? It was obvious why I did it.Nobody wanted to be seen by the person they loved as just some kind of trophy in their collection. I was no more for Jakob. I wanted to be more. So much more. Probably way too much. He probably didn't have the faintest idea how to treat women.Either way, I couldn't really pass judgment on him. I didn't even know how he had spent the previous years of his life. All I could say for sure was that he felt unloved by Titian and still
Again a few days passed in which I suffered bitterly. Jakob had still not contacted me. It was Friday, May 24th, and although I felt a strong longing for the man, I was able to greet the morning with a smile. The beautiful weather gave me strength for some reason.I whistled softly to myself as I got out of bed and walked to my closet. After a bit of pondering, I finally decided on red skinny jeans and a turquoise top. After that I slipped into my flip flops to check on the post office. Perhaps I shouldn't have done that because there was indeed a letter for me. Unfortunately without a sender, although I could have guessed who the mail came from.Anyway, amazed, I went into the kitchen, where Justin had already prepared breakfast for both of us. "Mhh, that smells good!" I greeted him with a smile and sat down at the table. Jus was passionate about cooking, which was a huge advantage for me. So I wasn't the only one who had to take care of the food.After putting two rolls on my plate,
"The race was really great, wasn't it?" I asked Jakob when we arrived at our apartment. He replied dully: "Oh yes, especially the drivers". Now how did he come up with that? I prefer not to ask. He probably didn't mean it as seriously as he had sounded. why? After all, he was also a fan of Formula 1 and as I found out during the race, he also liked to cheer on Sebastian Vettel."Well, do you have anything else planned or are we already flying back to Germany?" I wanted to know from Jake instead of going into his earlier words. He said, "It's good that you mention that. I definitely have plans to take you to a restaurant tonight. Since I've reserved a table for half past eight and we still have three hours, you can decide what to do with the rest of the time."I thought that was all well and good, but it didn't answer the question of when the return flight would go. Also, something else occurred to me. "Oh, unfortunately I didn't pack anything fancy," I threw into the room, whereupon J
I just couldn't believe it. What was Jacob thinking? What was I thinking? Just because he apologized to me didn't mean he stopped breaking women's hearts en masse. I guess I got really lost in something and that because I loved him.Out of these thoughts, I sobbed out loud and would have liked to slap myself for it. What if Jacob heard me? On the other hand, I could rule that out, because otherwise he would have noticed me a few minutes ago when I had to see him with the women. If only I knew what was going on inside him! That would make so many things easier.Unfortunately, the reality was very different. She was painful to me and only because I fell in love with the biggest asshole on earth. My head knew all too well that the feelings for Jakob were totally pointless, but my heart longed for his closeness. Every fiber of my body wanted this one man and no other.It was also my own fault. I had known from the start what kind of person he was. Even then I should have taken all the nec
A thousand thoughts flew through my head like meteorites. Nobody had ever managed to touch me as much as Jakob, even though I could be quite sensitive. I could clearly see that he was serious and was struggling to show me how he felt.That's how he was. He looked at me expectantly, but I only gave him a shy smile before I said: "You are and will remain a mystery to me, maybe that's why you are so attractive to me. But if you want to work with us, you have to keep working on yourself, because I'm sure you'll fall back into your cool pattern from time to time". "You mean you want to try me and be my girlfriend?" Jake demanded in disbelief.My smile gave way to a beam, then I said: "Yes, you moron, but don't you look at other women in my presence!". "Anything you want and that won't be difficult for me with such a beautiful woman like you," he knew how to counter quickly. "I hope so too," I insisted, which made us both laugh.When we calmed down, the blonde took his hand and clasped mine
Jacob's point of view!I took one step after the other. Climbed level after level until finally I couldn't anymore. Who was I kidding? Julia? To me? Or is it both of us? It had felt wrong all along to go down this path. Actually, I didn't want to turn around because I didn't want to make it even more difficult for us, but as my gaze slid through the numerous panes of glass, my pupils dilated.Julia! She crouched against one of the panes and couldn't calm herself down because she was sobbing. Her body trembled constantly. And that's when I finally realized what I had to do! "Sorry, I have to get out of here!" I told a stewardess and turned around without waiting for an answer.Without hesitation, I made my way through the few passengers standing behind me. I kept mumbling an apology and when I finally felt the ground under my feet again, there was no stopping me. I sprinted faster and faster and didn't pay attention to my fellow human beings.No, I had more important things to do! Howe
I woke up with a pounding pain in my head. As I realized I was not alone. I remembered the last time I wasn't alone. Just like last time, I wasn't with myself. Then where was I? This big room seemed really suspicious to me. Besides, I felt damn sick.I stifled a scream as I turned. I really wasn't alone! And the arms wrapped around me felt damn close and strong. My gaze slid to me and I realized that I was no longer wearing my turquoise top. I couldn't even make out my red lace bra!I could only hope that I was at least wearing my shorts or the panties that went with them. Unfortunately, I couldn't raise the blanket that far, otherwise I would probably wake Jakob. The name dawned on me. "Shit, that can't be true!" I exclaimed loudly, realizing I'd had sex with him.I immediately jumped out of bed and was glad to find my stuff. "Hey... what's up?" Jake piped up sleepily. "I um... Was a nice night and yes, I should go then," I mumbled confusedly and was just about to put my panties on w
Our order arrived in about ten minutes. Yes, the sundaes looked really tasty! We were not disappointed either, the ice cream tasted delicious. As Jakob showed me with a smile, the waitress had written down her number for him. I was sure he was going to call her, but he just put the napkin on the table next to his sundae and started digging into it. I did the same, because otherwise there would be nothing left of the artfully assembled dessert but a melted mountain. Another twenty minutes passed before we were done. The waitress who had his eye on Jake billed us. "I'll pay," the blonde said when she asked us who paid the bill. I couldn't and didn't want to leave it like that. "We'll pay separately," I interjected, whereupon two pairs of eyes looked at me in surprise. "I'm definitely not the type of woman who lets the man pay for everything," I let them know. However, Jakob replied: "But I invited you and during our trip to the Monaco you didn't mind that I paid for everything". Not
I woke up with a sore neck. When I lifted my head, I realized that the pain was even in my shoulders. Great, why was I asleep too? However, I was more concerned with the question of how long I had slept. Looking out my window, I realized that it couldn't be that late because the sun was still shining. And wasn't Jacob with me? This stirred as if on command. "Good morning, awake already?" he greeted me with a smile on his lips. A laugh from me left him a little confused. "I could ask you that, Struwwelpeter," I teased him about his hair standing on end, which looked great on him. "Then it's time for me to go and have a shower," he ignored my pointed comment, but couldn't help but smile. "Are you taking me with you?" I asked seriously again, which made him stare at me in surprise. "Not in the shower, of course. I just thought that you and I could, well, spend the evening together. Maybe a good movie is on? Besides, I don't want to be alone,” I reassured him immediately, which he ackno
Jacob's point of view! "Everything okay?" I asked carefully, whereupon Giulia answered me: "Yes... Everything is fine so far". Somehow I couldn't quite believe her. It seemed to me more as if she had hesitated. "Are you sure?" I wanted to know, still holding her tightly in my arms. She looked at me, caught. I would have found that very sweet, but the tears that stole from her eyes spoke volumes. She was busy with something that was probably not without. "Thank you for the trust you bring in me," she said instead, clearly confusing me. Before I could speak to her about it, she continued stammering: "Therefore, I would like to place my trust in you." I immediately raised my hands defensively. "Stop. I'm interested in what you want to tell me, but I don't want you to tell me just because I've talked to you about my past." She smiled weakly and shook her head. Then she replied, "You idiot, of course I know, only... I've been carrying this secret around with me for ten years and haven'
Jacob's point of view!These words had come only very slowly from my lips. I was even surprised that they hadn't gotten stuck in my throat. Unfortunately I had ridden myself into the next shit with it. Now I had to stand my ground and let Giulia in on my biggest secret: my past."In my entire life I have never had anyone but my mother Soraya. She was the only one who was there for me, which unfortunately didn't work out very well because I grew up with my father," I finally began to tell with a look at Giulia and let my tears flow freely, which I incessantly over the cheeks ran.Giulia, on the other hand, hugged me like at the beginning of our conversation. I didn't resist, even though she had thrown bad things at me before, some of which were true. "By the way, I met him at the funeral," I let her know, to which she asked who I was talking about."From Tiziano, the father of Titian and me," I replied, and then Giulia knew who I was talking about. Sobbing, I said: "Now I know everythi
A few days passed. I was feeling a little better now, even though I missed Jakob terribly. I adamantly stuck to my decision not to let myself go so much. Justin had paid me a lot of compliments and always made me smile. During this time he had become an even better friend to me, even though I thought he couldn't top himself.As I got up this morning, I knew that today wasn't going to be any other day. I didn't know why. i just feel it No, I just knew. Sometimes there were things you were damn sure about, and that's what I was.It started with me walking into the kitchen tired and wearing only my dressing gown. A yawning emptiness awaited me there. I found the silence weird and very disturbing since Justin was usually already on his feet. He was a chronic early riser, which for me had the benefit of waking me up when I was about to oversleep.I yawned tiredly and decided to take a shower first, since I was still alone anyway. As the cool water hit me, I sighed happily. It felt incredib
"I'd say let's cook something first," Krystal suggested with a big smile. Crazy, apparently she had really gotten over it with Jakob more than four years ago. I wasn't surprised about that, because in Tizian she had a dream man at her side who couldn't be more the opposite of his half-brother than anyone else. Although I didn't feel like eating at all, I agreed with her. Krys then headed for the kitchen, but was stopped by her husband. He said: "Sit down with Lia, I'll cook for you". That's exactly what I meant, he was sweet and courteous, exactly what I wanted in my partner. Krystal snapped me out of my thoughts by replying, "No thanks, I want to be back in my old shape or at least be close to it, so I'm at least moving a bit". "I think your curves look great on you," Tizi complimented her charmingly. His wife, on the other hand, blushed. Wow, I didn't know her so embarrassed! That showed you all too well what love made of you. The two floated on clouds with an ease that I deeply