Carrie

      I looked at my dull brown eyes which was a result of the uncomfortable contact lens that I knew was a bad idea but wore them anyway. I was a person now and was going to look every bit of it. My now short hair hung down the side of my head in uneven waves just barely reaching my ears.

     I tucked in my crisp white shirt which was no doubt the cheapest in the building into my pants that must’ve seen better days. My phone kept ringing disrupting what was supposed to be a badass imagination of myself busting into the office that was on the floor above me and shooting my boss in the head. It would have been game over for everyone.

     Finally picking up the phone and connecting the call, I spoke “What is it Charles?”, Unable to conceal the irritation in my voice. I rummaged through my suitcase that was on the floor leaning into the side of my leg. I needed to make sure the files and fake documents I had in them were not abandoned in the drawer at  home.

     “What are you still doing in the restroom Carr? You have to be in the office before your boss. Are you trying to ruin the plan? Remember you’re not supposed to draw attention to yourself” he said hurriedly only irritating me further. I had everything in control, Charles needed to remember that. I did not need him reminding me the reason I was here, wearing these hideous clothes and pretending to be who I definitely was not.

     “Jesus Christ Charles! Give me a break, I know what I’m doing!” I said. I slipped on the glasses I managed to find admis the chaos that was currently my suitcase and straightened up. I didn’t need the glasses, but it was going to help conceal any form of recognition. It’s not like they would know what I looked like twenty years after they killed me.

     “I just don’t want you to screw this up, I know how much this means to you. It’s been years since you saw them, you might still have a place in your heart for them…”

     “Don’t worry about that” I said, clenching my fists in anger “They tried to kill me, they almost did. The only thing I thought about all these years was how to hurt them just like they had hurt me. I’m dead to them, soon they would all the dead to me”. I removed my hand from the sink not even realizing how hard I had been gripping it until my knuckles turned white. I had to calm my heart before it went overdrive.

     “Are you okay Carr?” he asked when I didn’t speak for a while. I placed a hand on my chest to ease the pain that was slowly creeping in.

     “Did you take your pills?” he asked again.

     I quickly fished out two small white pills from my pocket when his question finally registered in my head. I downed them in a second immediately feeling the instant relief it brought me.

     “You keep forgetting them” he scolded when he realized I had only just taken them. “You know how you get without them, the last thing I need is you having a full-blown attack in the enemy territory…without me there to help you”. He said, whispering the last part.

     I clutched my chest tighter despite the relief and counted to ten. It was something my therapist taught me after I had a really bad episode. I hated that I was this weak, that I had to depend on a bunch of white tablets to keep myself sane. To hide who I truly was.

     “I’m going up now, get some rest while I work and make sure everything is smoothly. I want the daily reports sent to my email”. I disconnected the device before he could say another word and readjusted my mismatched tie. I had to make sure my business was running smoothly because without it, my plan would end before it even had the chance to begin.

     It was time for the show and after years of proper planning, my justice was finally at the tip of my fingers. I walked out of the men’s bathroom just as an expensive suit wearing man walked in but not without glaring at me. I hated people that were judgmental. Just because I wasn’t wearing an expensive suit didn’t mean I was worthless or someone he could look down on. I stepped into the elevator just as it was about to close. There was a man standing at the far end, huge sunglasses covering his eyes. Weird. I didn’t spare him another glance. We got off the same floor, Me gradually trailing after him making sure to keep my face down. I could get fired here for just looking at someone the wrong way.

     “Being late on your first day is not exactly why I hired you” A voice boomed once I stepped into the office making me wince.

     “I’m so sorry sir. It won’t happen again” I told the tall man standing in front of me. His well-cut beard did nothing to make him look any younger. Instead, it made him look like an old man that was trying to switch back in time. It was hilarious. I barely knew the man, but I was sure I hated him. he was the one that didn’t even want me to be interviewed weeks before because he thought I wasn’t good fit for the company. It was obvious he meant I was poor and not worthy working with him. all the things I had to endure! I had prayed everyday once I got the job that I wouldn’t be working directly under him, God knows there’s so much I can take before blowing a person up.

     “It better not” he said after looking me up and down, disgust written clearly on his face. “The boss is inside, hopefully he doesn’t fire you” he said the last part under his breath before walking away. I made a promise to him that moment. When all this was over, he would be the first man I blew his brains out.

     First things first, I had to know who the boss was. There had been a change in administration when my father fell sick. Scratch that, Mr. Gunner fell sick. I said a prayer as I entered the office, not realizing I had been holding my breath until I saw the guy from the elevator seating in the big black chair and sighed in relief.

     A part of me had been scared that one of my siblings would take over the company and I’d have to work with them. I could handle them, but this Mr. Sunglasses over here would make my job way easier, but I had spoken too soon.

     “You’re the new assistant I suppose?” he asked before swirling in his chair, turning his back on me in the process. There was something special about his voice. it was deep, dark, like the depth of the sea. Amongst every other thing, it was familiar, like a long-forgotten melody in my ears. A melody so sad it burnt my ears, just who was this man?

     “Yes” I answered with feigned confidence. In the elevator he had just been a random guy, but now that I knew I was going to spend a lot of time together in the same space made me sweat.

     “And you’re late” he finished, still not turning to me. it was almost like he didn’t want to look at me. I didn’t think I was a bad sight even while being dressed as a man. He finally removed his glasses, from where I stood, I could see him twirling it between his fingers.

     “If it happens again, you’re fired” He said. Well, that was okay by me. he finally turned to face me, but that was a bad idea. He should’ve kept his sunglasses on. Maybe I wouldn’t have fainted from suddenly going into panic when I realized who he was.

     Don?

     It couldn’t be. Eyes wide, I was taken back to the night so many years ago. Heads rolling, then his eyes. The same eyes I was looking into now, how terrified that made me. I curled into a ball, he shouldn’t blow our cover, father was here, and he just killed a man. He was going to kill me too, we had to get out of here.

     There was a problem, I couldn’t move but…someone was shaking my body, violently.

     “Wake up!” someone was screaming, but it was so far away that I paid it no attention. Just when I was losing myself to the dark someone pulled me out to the surface, their voice ringing in my head.

     “What is wrong with you?” an angry voice yelled. I opened my eyes to meet his stormy ones. Why did he have to be the one? I hadn’t prepared for the possibility that Don would be running the family company, what happened to my brother? I slipped my hand into my pocket and downed the two pills I had left there.

     With a now steady heart and mind I stood up. “I’m sorry for that sir” I apologized, hoping that at this point I wasn’t really fired.

     He said nothing as he went back to his seat. He only regarded me with uninterested eyes. “Get to work immediately”.

     I fled after that, confining myself to the small office that was adjacent to his. I started with the files on my desk and worked through all the schedules for Don. The sound of heels gliding across tile stole my attention for a moment.

     I looked up to see the brightest red I’ve ever seen on a woman’s hair, against her pale skin it was like fire during winter, it pricked my skin with unforeseeable heat. I didn’t know who she was but the air of confidence around her suggested she wasn’t someone to be played with.

     She stopped in front of me and pulled her sunglasses from her eyes, exposing her pale sea blue eyes that were a contrast to her hair.

     “Is Don in?” she asked.

     It took a while before I realized her question “Uhm, yeah, he’s in” I stuttered, but she laughed it off like it was nothing.

     “You’re new here” She said, taking a closer look, it was almost like she could see through my façade and deep within into the hate that smeared itself on my heart.

     “Yes ma’am” I answered finally finding my voice in the deep pool of her eyes “I’ll let him know you’re here to see him” I said and stood up.

     “Don’t worry about it, I’ll just go in” she said, flashing her white pearls at me. She strutted past me and went into Don’s office. I probably shouldn’t have done that, but she seemed harmless and it looked like she and Don were more than just acquaintances.

      I listened for voices if Don disapproved of her presence and I was in trouble but none of it came. It was quiet, too quiet for the noisy world that I had been submerged in. Checking for any cameras in the case of me being watched I found none.

     I pulled up the records from their database but found nothing out of the ordinary. There was no record of drugs and arms or any illegal activity. Where were they hiding it? If only I could prove that the Zaverelli’s were drug dealing monsters that destroyed everything in their way, including their own daughter.

     Of course I had not expected it to be easy but I had hoped I would be done with the mission in a week so I could retire to the place I now called home, where I could live for the remainder of my numbered days.

     I absentmindedly went through Don’s schedule, he had a meeting with a certain important figure in a high-class restaurant. I sent a reminder to his email that was scribbled into the back of my brain. The door opened just in time for me to see Don walk out, sunglasses in place with the woman from earlier absent.

     “We’re leaving now” he stated simply and walked away towards the elevator. I followed after him, laptop in my bag and a journal in case he needed me to take notes but why was he going several minutes early? Everyone knew Don was someone who never liked to wait.

     “Are you coming?” he asked sternly as the elevator doors began to close making me run towards it. I slipped in just in time but in my haste, I lost balance and fell into my boss, his hands coming round me in a warm embrace to keep me from falling, but an act so insignificant unleashed a particular memory I had locked away in the deepest parts of my heart.