The days dragged slowly after Spring Break. I focused on myself and my body and getting my routines right. I focused on getting my mom to all of her appointments and getting groceries and doing laundry and cooking, even though I sucked at it.
Anything and everything to keep myself busy.May rolled around and I was on my way to the club gym when my mom stopped me. She had been acting kind of strange since I came back from Spring Break, wandering the house aimlessly and muttering to herself. She had lost weight, but remained bloated in her stomach and legs. She showered when I'd force her in and most of the time she just seemed out of it.I wondered a lot of her medications had something to do with it, but I never really put too much thought into it.Now, staring at her face, I saw some light in her eyes that had been missing for a while. Her body fingers dug into my arm as she clung to me and I noticed that the wrinkles in her face were more pronoI'm watching as the EMT's roll out her body in a black body bag and my heart is in a vise."What do I do?" I ask as they begin walking out. "Wait, what do I do?" The EMT that I talked to earlier turns to me. They have been here for a little under an hour. "We are loading her into the car for the funeral home. Remember when we asked you?"I shake my head because I can't really think of anything else. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. "Okay.""Are you going to be okay?"She looks at me with kind, brown eyes and I give her a curt nod my throat beginning to ache. "Is there anyone else you need us to call?""No. We're alone. It's just us. Just...me." My chest constricts and I feel my eyes burn. She places a hand on my shoulder and I smile at her as best as I can. She leaves with everyone else and I watch from my floor as they leave. It's just me. Just me. I walk back into the apartment and shut the d
"Kelly." She whispered as she closed the door. I shook my head and covered my face with my hands. I didn't want her here. I didn't want anyone. I just wanted to lay down and be forgotten. That's all I wanted.She slid down the door next to me, with only inches away from me and looked at me with James' eyes. "You don't have to talk. We can just sit here." She said quietly.I nodded and laid closed my eyes again. I felt her hand on my hip, moving it soothingly up and down my leg, comforting me the only way she could.After a few minutes, I couldn't stand it anymore. "You don't have to be here.""I know I don't." "I-I shouldn't have even called him.""Why not?"I stared at the back of the couch, noticing trash underneath that I hadn't seen before. "You know why."She was silent for a while and then she sighed. "He never told us. We...we didn't know he broke up with you until today.""He didn't."
Within three months of my mom's passing, I had her funeral fully paid off. Her headstone and everything. It was a lot of money. A lot, but the feeling I got in my chest, seeing that bill gone made it worth it. Made every single drop of sweat worth it.After I finished that bill, I got to work on my mountain. It was still growing with the remaining of my mom's hospital bills coming in, but I didn't mind. It was a goal to finish them off. A purpose.And so I began. I got myself an account to start getting my finances all together so I wouldn't pay out of my ass in taxes and continued working.I danced, getting my routines perfected and adding new ones to the mix since I was now on stage three times a night. I had gotten exponentially better on the pole due to the pole dancing classes I took and was getting tipped so much more money because of it.I worked the floor like nobody's business, plastering a flirty smile and talking out of my ass to horny
Christmas passed by without a hitch. I spent it in Hawaii. It was still fairly warm and so I spent that holiday much the same as the first one.I did have to avoid all of the holiday sh*t going on everywhere, but being somewhere that wasn't home made it easier to face by myself. I ate to my heart's content and swam and took tours up to the volcano. I enjoyed it there almost too much. It made me think of relocating to somewhere like here, where every day felt like a vacation, but at the same time, I didn't want to hide away anymore.Not only that, but I got things going for that house I found. I talked to the realtor and was able to start the paperwork on my new house. It was an ongoing process, but seeing as I had good credit and money to put down on it, it was going easier than I thought.So I took the time to enjoy myself in Hawaii, visiting different islands and doing every single touristy thing I could do. I hiked to some waterfalls and kayak
I curse and I know I can refuse it but...I don't. I put my earrings back in and find my top from my last dance. I take a few deep breaths after I put it on and fix my hair and makeup.I got to Apple and asked her which private room he was in and she pointed to the first one. I feel like my heart is about to beat straight out of my chest but I straighten up and walk into the room.He's sitting ramrod straight in the room, his eyes on me as I step up onto the small circle stage in the center of the dark room. Music starts to play, but I put my hands on my hips and stare down at Jordan Starr."What the hell are you doing here?"His mouth pops open and he stares at me, his throat bobbing. "Trust me, Kelly, I didn't know you worked here. I-I didn't know."I walk off of the stage stand in front of him and glare down at him. "Is your brother here with you?"His eyes widen and he shakes his head. "N-No! I'm here with Lyle and Keenan."
Jordan made good on his promise and we hung out. We would meet up for lunch, and even though I sucked at school, he would show me his school work and I was able to help with a few assignments.He would bring me pizza after work some nights when he was out with his friends and we would hit up the movies on Sundays, just to get out of the house.And I found myself laughing and smiling more often than not. Jordan knew not to bring up James in any way and I think that was the only thing we tiptoed around. And sometimes when I would look at him, my breath would catch and I'd have to distance myself for a couple of days because he would look like his older brother. And I think he understood it. We were good friends for about a month and a half until I think the both of us kind of ruined it in one night.It was on my off day, Sunday. Jordan had pushed me a little on my no-drinking rule I put on myself and I had gotten us some beer fr
He's breathing hard and his throat is bobbing as he shakes his head. "Kelly... I-I'm sorry. I...You're f*cking beautiful and I'll probably regret this for the rest of my life, but...I can't. We can't do this."And I press my lips together and I know I've ruined it. I know that this short-lived friendship Jordan and I had was now done for, all because I gave in and drank and acted stupid. My hormones got the best of me and I shouldn't have even touched him."I know. I'm sorry. I- it's my fault."I get up off the floor and find a T-shirt that I had lying on the ground because I hadn't done laundry. I pull it on quickly and watch as he buttons himself back up. "It's...not. It's not your fault. Not by a long shot. I...I wanted to. I really did. I would have. But...He's my brother. And I know we don't talk about him, but I would feel like sh*t if one of my brother's did that to me."And that's when I get angry. Not at Jordan, but just because
Liam"Liam! Can you do me a quick favor!"I sigh and roll my eyes. I zip myself back up and flush the toilet. I wash my hands and sneer at the monogrammed hand towels Sarah has in her bathroom. S.S. on this one and J.S. on the other."Yeah, what is it?" I walk out of the bathroom and down the hall to the kitchen where Sarah is running around like a chicken with its head cut off. Not like I've seen one before, but I was pretty sure that's what she was acting like."I asked James for the pictures that we took in the gardens. I have like...two hours to turn them into the videographer and I thought he did it before he left, but he didn't. Can you go to the bedroom and grab his laptop and get the pictures sent to my email?""And why didn't James do that?""Because he was running late for his flight. His brother and friends were adamant that he go and celebrate with them, so...here we are."I nod slowly and turn my ass back ar