I had been out for yet another run with Aspen in the early hours. I don’t know if they were helping or not. I felt like I was hollow inside. My brain didn’t seem to want to function the way it was meant to….. Warrior training earlier today was pointless. I had gone like I was expected, though Knox did tell me I didn’t have to. But I am not going to have people feeling sorry for me, and being all sympathetic. Life needs to carry on. Esme has made her decision, I can’t change that. Training, however, the guys were being overly kind, which bugs the hell out of me. Though the fact my mind will just not focus when I need it to does not help. I go from one extreme to the other. I got paired up with Dom, one of our other Warriors. I normally train with Manuel, but I am guessing he is taking a break, to spend time with Lola. Well, usually I am pretty tough to beat, and don’t think Dom has ever beaten me, yet on a couple of training exercises we were practicing he beat me easily, b
I had been busy in University all day, completing multiple classes and doing some coursework that needed completing too. I was heading out of the classroom block to walk to my apartment on campus to carry on with some more coursework to make sure it was done for the deadline later in the week. Two of my tutors, Mr Braxon and Mrs Dawson, were walking the same way and began chatting to me as I walked, so as much as I wasn’t really paying attention I made polite conversation and smiled nicely at them. The sun was shining gloriously outside, which was definitely not a bad thing. It meant I could maybe sit outside on the small balcony with my laptop to do my coursework for a little while to enjoy the sun. Or even go for a drive and let Kya out for a run, assuming she wanted to, she was still in a mood with me….. I don’t know how long the silent treatment was going to last after me walking out on Gabe. She clearly saw me as being to blame for that, despite the fact I was doing my best
Wow, I can’t believe she has asked me to stay with her for a coffee. Though I didn’t want to leave her. I didn’t know that I wanted to stay either. My head right now is just a chaotic mess. It does not know what it wants. My head and my heart are hurting. Being with her feels so natural, yet a little uncomfortable. I feel at ease being with her, like it is where I am meant to be. I don’t think I can just give that up. Is that how she feels? Is that why she asked me to stay for a coffee? We go and sit down while we wait for the staff to bring our order over. I felt like an idiot when I had said she should try Abuela’s churros. It just felt like a natural thing to say. Talk about making a conversation awkward. It will never happen. Could never happen as she did not want me, did not want to be with me. “So I guess I owe you an explanation, Guapo?” Esme reaches across the table for my hand. I whip my hand back, not wanting her to touch me. She looks shocked at my actions, bu
I am shaking as I take in his words. He wants me to reject him? I look to him. He is looking me right in the eyes. He doesn’t look angry. If anything he looks hurt, he looks scared. Does he want me to reject him? Or is he scared of me rejecting him? “Do you want me to reject you Guapo?” I say softly. “Well, that is what you do when you don’t want to be with someone, isn’t it?” he says, the nerves are evident now in his voice. I am sure of it. “But I do want to be with you though. More than you realise, I think Gabe.” I say, biting my lip after speaking, nervous of his reaction. “Ok, so you say, but you say we can't be together, Esme, you say we can’t be mates, so surely you should just reject me? You don’t need me” he says. I swear he is struggling to hold back tears. I know I am hearing his words. I know what he is saying makes sense. My parents asked me if I had rejected him when I had called once I had got home and told them I had run out on him. They had assume
I have to fight tears all the way to my car. Then the second I climb into the driver's seat and shut the door, it is like a fucking flood gate has opened. Tears are coming and they will not go away. I want her so badly. Why in all of holy hell did I let myself come to see her today? Why did I not ring Manuel or Knox for her number so they could convince me this was a bad idea?! Why did I not turn and go home when I began to have doubts?! Why, why, why, why, why and fucking why again?! So many whys and what if's. I messed up. I should never have hugged her. I had stopped her touching me because the contact was throwing me, was confusing me. The sensation from the mate bond felt good, yet it hurt, because, right now in my mind, it is associated with rejection too. But I crave the sensation because it is the mate bond and it feels so fucking good. This is one messed up situation! Then, when I took her in my arms, I was done for. I knew instantly I had made an immense m
Walking back to my apartment having watched Gabe walk away from me knowing that he had basically told me he didn’t want to see me again was one of the most painful things I had done. I know I can’t have him, but I don’t want to let him go either. I thought maybe we could still chat or occasionally meet up, I guess. As spending time with him today has been good, I love being around him, it just feels right, so natural and like it is meant to be. Which I know is stupid, as I know it is technically meant to be as it is what the Moon Goddess has fated, she has fated for Gabe and I to be together, to be a couple, so it should only feel right for us to be together, to be in one another's company. Yet there is too much at risk for us from being together. I thought when he kissed me he wanted the same thing, hoped perhaps he would consider being together, but not as mates, as selfish as that may be. So when he uttered the words he thought it was better we didn’t see each other or speak
All preparations were in place. Flights were all booked. My Mum and Dad were heading over to our house to meet with us all to let us know what the Werewolf Council had said. I was pacing anxiously, hoping they would be the bearer of good news. If the council had not been willing to listen, then we would have a serious fight on our hands to defend Manuel and his new mate. Plus, we had very little chance of helping Esme or the other females in the pack have a normal chance of freedom and life, where they are not treated like second-rate citizens to the men in the pack. Lilah had already got the coffee and tea made and the group of us were sitting in the lounge. Indie and Dan, with Finn curled up asleep on Dan’s knee. It sounded like he had been causing chaos for Indie today, so no doubt he tired himself out. Jake was stood chatting to Manuel and Lola. I assume about the planned mission, ready for tomorrow. Gabe, I had not been able to get hold of. I had tried calling in to
I am lying in bed, my arms wrapped around my beautiful mate. Where I imagined I would feel happiest. But right now, I feel like my world is crumbling around me. It is already the early hours. We returned home from Lilah and Knox’s home having heard the news and discussing the final arrangements for tomorrow. Lola and I ordered in a pizza and watched a film, as neither of us could be bothered to cook. Our cases for tomorrow were now sat by the front door, everything ready to go. But in truth I did not want to go. I was terrified. I was unsure what tomorrow and this trip would hold. Would I be coming home with my mate? Would I be coming home heartbroken because she had chosen to stay with her pack and her family because of the punishments her Alpha has chosen for her for breaking their pack rules by allowing me to mark her? We had had a soak in the bath together to relax, and then headed to bed in the hopes of an early night. Having some fun before sleep, which was difficult to
12 months later continued… Listening to Esme panic rushing around the house, I am wondering why we offered to hold a get-together at our house for our friends. We should have let it be at Lilah and Knox’s like normal. Damn me trying to be clever and be a better host than Knox. “Have we got enough drinks in? What about snacks?” I hear Esme ask for about the tenth time in about half an hour. She is dashing between the kitchen and the lounge, trying to make sure everything is tidy, when I know my friends really could not care less, and within ten minutes of them being here the house will look a mess, especially when Finn and Kai are toddling around looking for things to mess with. Thankfully, Dan and Indie’s youngest, Wren, is not at the age where she can toddle very well just yet. Though she is just as much of a mischief as her big brother, so that was only a matter of time. “Mi Amor, it is fine” I tell her the same thing I have every ither time she asked. Not that she wil
12 Months later I woke up to look at my mate. She looks so tired, yet so beautiful. The pregnancy seems to be taking it out of her. Though she is getting close to the end now. We truly cannot wait for our pup to arrive. We had waited to find out what we were having, wanting a surprise. I mean the pregnancy came as some what a surprise, so why not let the gender be one too. Well, I say the pregnancy was a surprise. We had not planned it as such, yet we had not done a massive amount to stop it happening either. We just hadn’t discussed having a baby just yet. Lola was getting settled in working in the daycare centre and loving every second of it. Her confidence seemed to be building, and the kids there seemed to love her. I think some people just have that kind of personality that draws children to them, and Lola is definitely one of them. She is a natural with kids, so I know she is going to make the most amazing Mami to our pup when they arrive. She had been unwell for
I would say thank the goddess it is the weekend, but I have been busy cleaning the house today while Esme has been working on some coursework for her degree. I was being the ever perfect mate and providing food and drink for her, so she could focus on her work as she told me she had quite a lot to do. I truly do not know how she does it. I look at the work each time I walk in the dining room, where her texts books, note books and laptops are now spread across the table, and in all honesty, it looks like complete nonsense to me half of the stuff. Plus, I see how many notes she has written, and I truly think I would get bored and think I can’t be bothered and give up. I have yet another level of respect for my mate, I truly do. This is some serious dedication. And she is seriously impressive. Our hospital would be lucky to have her when she graduates. We had agreed to our day doing this, then we were having a lazy night together, time to chill out, movie night, takeaway a
I was glad to have had my time off with Lola, but was ready to get back to work I have to say. Ready to get back to training and burn off some energy through fighting and sparring with the other warriors. Lola had gone into the Day Care centre, her first day being yesterday, and she had absolutely loved it! The staff seemed to love her, and she got on well with them. And Lola loved being around the kids, so I think she had definitely found her calling in life. The smile on her face when she walked out of there at the end of the day to meet me, told me that she was going to be happy there. After a hectic day training, and going over training programmes for the young warrior programme, I had finished later than expected so I had already linked Lola to let her know so she would not expect me to be there to meet her like I had the day before. Gabe and I both were in charge of planning a new training programme for upcoming warriors, and had to work on the training regime
I walk into The Spirits of Tea tea room feeling nervous. I was unsure whether to agree to come or not, to be honest. I have not really spent time with this Diego. All I know is, I think this guy is my fated mate and the crazy fool had run away when he realised. Or I assume he realised. He was new to pack, had come in with the newcomers from the Crimson Night Pack. They seemed nice enough and his parents had made friends with my parents. My wolf Fern had gone crazy the moment I had crossed paths with him in the pack house, but then as I approached him to confirm who he was, he looked at me, his chocolate brown eyes full of uncertainty and he bolted out of the door. Fern had been skulking since. Both of us unsure if this was building up to a rejection. Imagine that, the daughter of a former Alpha being rejected. That would not look good. I honestly did not know if I was hurt or angry. I had not told a soul. Kept the pain and misery to myself. Not wanting anyone to judge me, or
My head was buzzing with the information Manuel had mindlinked me. I drop off with it on my mind and wake up with it still taking over my thoughts. I can’t believe Willow had found her mate yet had not confided in anyone. She would normally speak to our Mum, or our sister, yet nothing had been mentioned. I would maybe have even expected her to confide in Lilah or Indie, but again I would have expected that to have been leaked back to me through them as neither one is good at keeping secrets. She must be in bits feeling rejected by her mate, and I know how that feels. Been there myself with Lilah when we first met, strangely enough . Not for the same reasons, but came back to her not feeling good enough, though she had the added fear of being terrified of being hurt. I can’t imagine how Diego must be feeling. I know how many people consider Alpha families as being way above them, and would see a warrior as not worthy of being mated to someone within the family, but our family ar
We left the BBQ later in the day, Gabe and Esme seemed to have disappeared, not sure when. But Lola and I had enjoyed time with everyone. I get on well with her brother and Esme’s brother, so working with them would be good I think. The week off with Lola seemed to have flown by, but it had been so worth it. We have sorted the house, got a few things for it that she liked so it was more a mixture of our things now and not just mine, which is something I wanted to do for her. We have had plenty of time to chat and I think I see some definite positive changes in Lola now, so I do think we are on the way to things improving for her.I don’t think she will ever get over the crap she went through in that pack, but then I doubt most of the others from there will either. I realise this isn’t going to be a sudden fix, and will be a slow and gradual thing we work on together, and I am good with that, so long as she is doing ok and she is happy. She has been doing amazingly in not trying
We had spent the afternoon at Manuel’s parents’ house, spending time together as one big family I guess. A BBQ to welcome my family and Lola’s family. Though to look at them now you would think they had always been here. No doubt there will always be scars and damage from the Crimson Night Pack, but I think Midnight Forest Pack will be the way forward for them all. There had been so much laughing, maybe something to do with the excess of beer drunk. But at the same time, the atmosphere felt perfect, so warm, and welcoming, like we were home. Like we belonged. My parents clicked with both Mateo and Eden, and Javier and Ada like they were old friends. It was nice to see and I think it will help them settle in. It was the same for Lola’s parents. Mum and Auntie Val are now looking to try painting with Indie – heaven help her! But they are also planning to help around the pack house too. Suggesting cooking classes for some of the younger wolves, which apparently former Luna, Ava loved
Family BBQ day was here again, though this was literally a week later, due to the fact we were welcoming Lola and Esme’s families. Though I seem to have seen them every day this week, I am sure of it! And from what I can gather, our parents are all spending time together anyway, so I'm not sure the BBQ is truly needed. But I won’t say that or my Dad would likely slap upside my head, or my Abuela threaten me! Still, time with the family is meant to be nice, someone else is cooking. And now I have my mate by my side, I don’t have to worry about being hassled about finding my mate, so in all it should be a good day. I get to chill with Esme, and my family while eating good food and drinking beer in the sunshine. Sounds like a pretty perfect day to me. This week has been so hectic helping Esme’s family get settled, and getting into a routine of Esme being back at university but from our home as a base rather than her apartment near the university. I introduced Diego and Luis to