Chapter 45: Truth of Emotions

Jaxson

I don't sleep at all thinking about all the things that happened the day before. I can't figure out which is worse. The fact that I could have hurt her? The fact that I scared her. Not what I do for a living, no but I personally scared her with my reaction to Nico touching her. In what part of my mind did I think it was okay to grab her like that? I can't for the life of me figure that out. But then how can that act overshadow the fact she was shot at or was being kidnapped when my brother found her?

The best conclusion to that last question I can come up with is that the first two events I wasn't aware that she needed protection, if i was she would have had more of it. And the last one was all me. Those actions I can control.

That's what haunts me the most. My actions. My impulses. I can't shake the image of her face, the fear in her eyes when I lashed out. It was as if she saw a monster, and in that moment, I was one. I let my possessiveness and anger get the better of me, an