Irina unlocks the door to her apartment and ushers me in. “Now I’m happy to take the couch; only fair that the patient gets the bed,” she says playfully, turning on the light as she guides me in.“I don’t want to kick you out of your bed,” I mumble in disapproval.“We’re not arguing about this. You need your rest. You’re taking the bed,” she says adamantly.“How about we share?” I offer.She wiggles her eyebrows at me, “Oh, I see. Trying to cop a feel. Well, I can’t say I blame you,” she shrugs nonchalantly, making her way over to the kitchen and preparing some hot cocoa.I walk over to the bed and sit down, playing with the hem of the jacket Irina provided for me. I’m glad to be out of the hospital and I’m glad I’m not back at my home…but I’m not happy. I’ve never felt more broken in my life. Cheated on and assaulted in a single night. I went from the happiest I’ve ever been to the most miserable all in the blink of an eye.I cradle my head in my hands and sob, the nearly hysterical c
I look into the bathroom mirror and see the face of a sullen, unfamiliar woman looking back at me. My usual latte skin is now pale and sickly, my eyes are puffy and bloody shot, only made worse by the intense bruising that instead of bruising around the gash across my stitched-up forehead, has chosen to travel down and bruise all over my right eye. I don’t think there’s a cosmetic company around that makes this shade of purple. My lip is crusty, split and still a bit swollen along with the right side of my face. It’s strange though. It’s as though how I’m feeling on the inside is perfectly reflected on my face: beaten, bruised, split open and drained.I leave the bathroom and patter to bed, slipping under the covers and returning to my ball of misery. I look at Ily as she dozes on the pillow beside mine, probably dreaming about tuna or banana or something. I wish I could sleep as easily as she can. It’s been three days since the attack, three days with no update from the police and th
After a week of wallowing in self-pity, I’ve had enough. I could have kept going, but when would I have stopped? I can’t change anything that has happened, and I gave myself a week to cry and be an emotional mess with my bestie there to keep me sane, and now it’s time to return to the world of the living.Irina kept telling me to give it more time, that no one gets over trauma that fast and she is more than happy to have me around longer, and as tempting of an offer as that was, I just couldn’t do it. I’m not over anything that happened to me and I’m not sure when I will, but I know that I’ve spent my whole life being self-sufficient. I’ve never depended on others, and I don’t want to start now. Truthfully, I think the wallowing in bed was making me feel worse. At first, it helped, but then it was driving me stir-crazy. I don’t know how to sit around and do nothing all day and I envy the people who do. It’s not that I want to get back to my life and working, it’s that I need it. I nee
Yesterday was my first day back at the diner and it sucked coconuts. All day long people just looked at me with pity in their eyes. Some people can see through the makeup, and I can only imagine the stories they must be coming up with for my appearance, but I don’t care. What I do care about is all the other staff treating me like a fragile bubble that will burst at any moment. Thank goodness for Estaban for whipping everyone into shape and getting them to cut it out. They’re still giving me sad eyes, but at least they’ve stopped babying me or asking if I need help.Braced for another day of stares, I kiss Ily goodbye as she sleeps peacefully on the couch and head out. I halt in my tracks, my heart beating erratically and a clammy feeling coming over me when I see a bouquet of yellow roses in front of my door. I frantically look down both ends of the hall but see no one around. With trembling hands I grab my phone from my bag and take a picture of the flowers, doing my best to follow
*TRIGGER WARNING: Please skip the final paragraph of this chapter if you are sensitive to animal cruelty*The rest of my shift only got more and more bizarre. Dylan proceeded to be nice to me for the entire day and was even acting nice towards the other women – at least when I was watching. I’m still on my guard, but I embraced it while it was happening. I’m all for a pleasant work atmosphere, especially since my life is hell right now, so I’ll take the peace where I can find it.“Have a good night, Estaban!” I say, waving to Estaban as I walk out of the kitchens.“You have a safe journey home,” he calls back as he finishes switching shifts with the night cook.I exit the diner and stop to make sure I have everything in my purse.“Do you need someone to walk you home?”I drop my purse, jumping in fright when I hear Dylan’s voice. I look over at him, clutching my chest as he walks up to me. “You scared me half to death,” I breathe out, bending down and collecting my bag and everything
“I fucking hope you’re planning on finding this son of a bitch and bringing him to justice,” Amber declares with authority from beside me. My body continues to shiver, the cold penetrating so deep I can feel it turning my insides to ice.“Miss, we’re doing everything we can but it’s not like anyone was hurt,” the officer says quietly, as if somehow I won’t hear.I pull the blanket tight around me, shutting my eyes tight as the tears fall from my eyes, the smell of death lingering in my nostrils while the image of my sweet Ily, mutilated and put on display torments my mind. How can he say no one was hurt? Because she wasn’t human?! She was my best friend and companion. She was the only thing keeping me sane and now she’s gone.Amber wraps her arms around me while glaring daggers at the officer, “According to the California Penal Code 597(a), it’s a crime to intentionally maim, mutilate, torture, wound or kill a living animal, and based on the state of her apartment, I think every single
I feel like I’m watching my surroundings through someone else’s eyes, my entire body running on autopilot as Julian sets my bags down on what I suppose will be my bed for the time being. The spare room in his penthouse is ostentatious, to say the least. Hardboard floors covered by a white, faux fur rug lay underneath a luxurious king-size bed, an ottoman, a single sofa and a lounge sofa, all decorated in shades of white and grey with a jaw-dropping panoramic view of the city through the floor-to-ceiling windows. This entire room is bigger than my whole apartment was. I can’t understand why one person needs all this space. If I were living here, the overwhelming amount of space would just make me feel lonely.“Are you hungry? You probably haven’t had a chance to eat. I could call Brian or order us in something,” he offers with a hopeful expression.I manage to shake my head. “I’m feeling too sick to eat.”His face falls with that look of pity that makes the gross feeling in my stomach
I must have dozed off because as I open my eyes I feel my feet and hands have started to prune, the foam has disappeared from the surface of the bath to be replaced by a milky layer on the top of the water and the water itself is barely lukewarm. I shake off the sleep and reach out for one of the towels, wrapping it around my body as I get out of the tub. I’ve never had the luxury of using a heated towel rack before, but I would highly recommend them. I pull out the plug and get out of the tub, taking my time blowing out the candles. I may not have positive feelings for Julian anymore, but that doesn’t mean I want to burn his place down. I’m sure many women would love to do that to someone who cheated on them, but I’m just not that person.I make my way into the bedroom, stopping in my tracks when I see a big, fluffy black bathrobe laid out on the bed and some fluffy slippers that are several sizes too big.Did Julian give me his robe and slippers?I shake off the mixed emotions and wa
Immediately I feel dread wash over me and those unpleasant gut bubbles rising in my stomach. The urge to check behind me starts to creep in and quickly my head begins to spin.“You couldn’t have phrased that another way?” Áine chastises Irina.“Nothing terrible has happened,” Irina quickly assures me, only easing my dread by a fraction.“Then why did you sound all foreboding like that?” I prod, breathing through my anxiety as Áine rubs soothing circles on my back.“Okay, so that’s on me. I was just going to say…Julian’s been calling me. He’s shown up to my place and left voicemails and text messages, all of him looking for you. I haven’t told him where you are because it’s none of his fucking business. I just thought you should know he’s clearly desperate to talk to you,” she informs me.Just hearing his name causes a pang in my chest. Since I left the penthouse I blocked and deleted his number. He came to the diner a couple times but each time someone covered for me and told him I wa
“Nalani, are you sure about this?” Lamont gently asks, his eyes filled with sadness as he holds my letter of resignation in his hands.“I’m sorry, Monty. I’ve thought long and hard about this and as much as I liked working here and the people I’ve gotten to know, I just don’t think it’s in my best interest to stay. Recent events have caused me to have painful memories here and with what’s going on in my personal life, I think changing jobs would be good for my safety,” I delicately explain.Finding work isn’t easy in this economy but for my wellbeing, I need to put myself on lockdown. I’m looking for new work and I’ll be sure to let my employers know not to hand my information out to anyone who asks no matter what. I’m also looking for a new place to live so I can start fresh. Making sure this guy couldn’t call me is one thing, but he knows where I live and he knows where I work, so the next best thing I can do is change that. Is there a chance he is watching my every move and will st
The sound of glass shattering wakes me from my deep sleep with a jolt. I sit up in bed, my eyes alert and frantic as I look around the room. I reach across the bed, pulling my phone out from under my pillow and see that it’s two in the morning. I unlock my phone and type 911 into the keypad as I carefully get out of bed and make my way to the door.With my heart clogging my throat and cold dread rolling through me, I carefully open the door, make my way to the hallway railing and peer down to the floor below. I glance around and finally, my eyes fall on the source of the crashing. I let out a deep sigh of relief and slip my phone into my pocket as I make my way downstairs. With each step, my concern grows as I watch a dishevelled-looking Julian haphazardly pour himself a glass of vodka while shards of broken glass lay at his feet.His cheeks are rosy, his eyes are glassy – but not from crying – his jacket is nowhere to be seen, and his shirt is rolled up to the elbows with his bowtie
“And that girl was so mean. I can’t believe she smacked the fork out of his hand,” Áine remarks shaking her head, recalling our shift at the diner.“I don’t know the poor guy, but I hope he sees sense and dumps her. No one should be with someone that toxic,” I add as we step off the elevator and into the penthouse.“Even you know when to leave a toxic relationship. No offence,” she adds sheepishly.“No offence taken,” I assure her, making my way to the kitchen to grab some snacks and drinks from the refrigerator.“Are you sure Julian won’t mind me being here?” she nervously asks.“He’s not my warden, Áine. I can have friends over. I had asked Amber if she wanted to join, but she’s swamped at work.”“Maybe next time,” she chirps optimistically.That’s something I love about Áine…well, I honestly love just about everything about her. She is so bubbly and optimistic, just wanting to see others happy. There aren’t many people like her; I just wish she could direct some of that optimism to
Taking a deep breath I try to calm the worms crawling around in my stomach. I place my hand on the door, take in one more breath for good measure, and walk into the diner. I’m only two steps inside when someone scares the daylights out of me by screaming my name.“LANI!”I’m immediately wrapped in a bear hug by Bernadette, who I haven’t seen in ages. She squeezes me tight, rocking me back and forth as her thick wavey brown hair gets all up in my mouth.“I can’t believe you’re back. I was worried we’d never see you again,” she whines in her thick German accent.I smile, hugging her in return and giving her a tight squeeze. “You know me, I’m a workaholic, I was bound to come back eventually,” I say playfully.“Are you just visiting or are you back back?”“I’m back back, I just need to go talk to Gary.”“He’s in his office,” she informs me, beaming.“You’re the best,” I smile, giving her a kiss on the cheek and making my way to Gary’s office.As I’m about to knock on the door, I get an u
Entering the apartment with my shopping bags I’m immediately greeted by Julian’s enraged voice emanating from somewhere upstairs and reverberating around the spacious penthouse. Concern fills me as I cautiously make my way upstairs, the sound of Julian’s pointed words increasing in volume with each step I take. I guess that’s another reason to have an apartment with more walls: they act as a sound barrier.“No, no, NO. You swore to me it was a sure thing, Gradin. You were the one who told me I was a shoo-in for a Best Actor nomination at the Oscars, and now you’re trying to tell me I’m not even a fucking consideration?! I’m not involved in any fucking drama or bad press so either I’ve been blacklisted for some ungodly reason, OR YOU FUCKING LIED TO ME!” he fumes.Yikes…he didn’t even sound this angry when the police were over here. I learned the hard way that Julian doesn’t handle criticism or rejection well, so I don’t think I want to be in the line of fire when he’s upset like this.
“Lani?” calls Julian’s voice gently followed by a light rap on the door.I sigh, pulling my legs against my chest, “What?”“Can I come in?” he tentatively asks.“It’s your house,” I remind him.He opens the door and lets himself in. I look over to see him watching me with a sheepish look on his face. He walks over and sits on the edge of the bed, probably deciding it’s better to keep a safe distance from me.“I’m sorry,” he says sincerely, running his fingers through his hair in frustration. “You’re right, this isn’t happening to me, and I don’t have a right to get so worked up on your behalf and make this about me and how I’m feeling when you’re the one going through this. I shouldn’t have done that,” he admits.“I don’t blame you for getting upset, and I appreciate that you care, but I’m struggling enough to make sense of all this to myself, worrying about you freaking out on top of everything is just too much for me right now and I’m sorry if that’s selfish but I am seriously over
Sitting on the sofa I stare at my hands, determined to pick this frustrating piece of skin that has come up close to my cuticle. I just know it’s going to keep getting caught on things and will drive me insane. I never understand how they occur. You never really see it happen; you just suddenly one day feel a sting or feel something catch, then you look and there is another tiny piece of skin that’s come up from around your nails. It shouldn’t be so annoying, but it is.“Lani,” I hear a familiar voice call my name.I look up into concerned sapphire eyes. They used to smile more, but now they just seem to either look at me with guilt or concern.“Hmm?” I hum.“Here, I made you some hot chocolate,” Julian explains, sitting beside me and placing the mug in my hands. “Sugar is good for shock,” he assures me with a comforting smile.Shock? Is that what this is? Honestly, I’ve been through so many emotions lately that I can barely keep them straight. They’ve all started to bleed together an
***I give Irina and Áine the biggest hugs I can as I reluctantly say goodbye to them. Having them here and spending the day with them has been like a booster shot to the arm. I wanted them to stay and never leave, but I know they have lives to get back to, and it’s not like I’ll never see them again. I guess I’m just feeling homesick for our regular get-togethers.“I want you guys to know you are welcome to stop by any time, day or not. I’ve missed hanging out with you guys,” I say sadly.“On the bright side, your bedroom here is bigger than your whole studio apartment,” Áine chuckles. “For a change, we all fit comfortably.”I smile half-heartedly. As nice as it is here, I miss having my own place. I miss the home I made for myself. That being said, I’m not ready to go back and even if I do, it will only be to pack up the rest of my things and move the hell out. You couldn’t even pay me to continue to live there now.Áine quickly kisses my cheek goodbye and gets in the cab waiting fo