“Who wants margaritas?!” Irina cheers from the kitchen.Áine and I look over as Irina expertly picks up all three glasses at once and carries them to the living room, distributing them like a professional. I guess working at a club taught her a few tricks over the years.“Thank you.” I take my glass, take a sip and lick the salt from the rim off my lips.“Thanks a million,” Áine says graciously as she takes her glass.Irina sits down among the cushions, joining us on her living room floor. I am not a jealous person by nature, but I have to admit that whenever I see Irina’s loft, I get a little envious. I don’t know how she is able to afford such a beautiful loft in West Hollywood, but she figured it out. It’s so big you could fit my studio apartment in here four times and still have space left over.“When was the last time the three of us were able to get together like this?” Irina quizzes, taking a sip of her drink and leaning back against the couch. “Just us girls, getting together,
I laugh into my drink only to stop short when something on the television grabs my attention.“Wait, go back a couple channels.”Irina goes back a couple channels and stops on E! News. I feel frozen to the spot, my hands going cold and my face burning up as my heart races and nausea swirls around in my gut.“That’s right folks, it looks like the latest Hollywood Heart-throb, Julian Easton is off the market. Easton was photographed coming out of club Lux in New York City with the vampire slayer herself, Holly Carlisle. Sources reported the two were very close all evening, sharing several dances, having left and arrived together, and based on these pictures, the two are looking very cozy. It looks like hearts are going to be breaking across the country as the notorious bachelor takes himself off the market.”My heart sinks deeper and deeper with every word the presenter speaks, the pictures flashing on the screen of Julian and Holly making me feel like my soul has left my body. Could I
Have you ever been so drunk your limbs don’t even feel like they belong to you? Because that’s the state I’m in right now as I zig-zag my way to my apartment. I thought I was doing a pretty decent job at walking a straight line, but the suddenly ending up falling into a potted plant proved me very wrong.I get up, poking my tongue at the rude plant for jumping out at me like that and make my way inside. As I turn down my hallway, I walk right into the wall, but it’s not so bad because I realise this mighty fine structure made from plaster is good at holding me up. I slide my way across the wall, stopping when I get to my door and fish my keys out of my purse. As I manage to retrieve them I notice a bouquet of yellow roses in front of my door. I hold onto the doorknob as I reach down and pick them up.“Nice try Mr Hollywood,” I scoff.I try several times to fit my key into the lock, but finally, I find success! As I walk in, I toss the flowers and my purse over onto the kitchenette and
Julian walks over and squats down in front of me. “Lani, I’m a fuck up, okay? I seem to fuck up everything I touch no matter how hard I try. I told you that I lose everyone I get close to, and so I try not to get close, but you’re the first person in a long time I’ve wanted to get close to. When I’m around you I feel…I feel human again. I love the way you look at me and how you just treat me like a regular person with none of that bullshit. I love how sweet, and caring you are and how you appreciate simplicity. I don’t feel like I have to put on an act with you. I know I’m coming on strong, I can hear it, but I want to be honest with you. I enjoy your company and I’m not ready to lose it when I just found it.”I look down into his sapphire eyes, their depths gleaming with tortured sadness as they plead for acceptance. There’s that vulnerability again. He’s right, he’s coming on strong, but knowing what I know, it makes sense. He’s been rejected in life where he needed it the most, so
I pull up to Julian’s apartment building with one minute to spare. I’m so glad I made the smart decision to leave a bit earlier than I had originally planned because the gridlock I encountered on the drive here was absolutely insane. Days like today I completely understand why some people get road rage. I used to think road rage was just something they put in Hollywood movies for dramatic effect until I came to the US. Traffic like this is just not a thing where I’m from.I jump out of the car while I text Julian to let him know I’m outside, leaning against the hood of my car. I take a breath and do the usual once over to make sure I don’t have stains, or anything stuck to my butt. I want this date to be fun and casual so we can enjoy each other’s company without Julian feeling like he needs to impress me. Fortunately, the weather is perfect today, so I’ve dressed in high-waisted baby-blue cotton shorts with a matching oversized elbow-length button-down, left open showing my mini, whit
Soon enough I reach our destination and, by some miracle, find a parking spot. So I feel like we’re off to a good start. As we get out of the car, Julian looks around in confusion.“Are you sure you’re not abducting me?”“In public? That would make me a very stupid criminal. Plus I don’t need ICE on my back.” I hold my hand out for him and feel like a giggly schoolgirl when he takes it. “It’s just around the corner,” I promise as we start walking.“It’s not an escape room is it?” he asks with disapproval.“Why would I take you to an escape room?” I counter in bewilderment.He shrugs. “I feel like people talk about escape rooms a lot these days.”“Stop trying to guess.” I give him a playful hip bump and keep walking around the corner until the large, flashing, neon sign of our destination takes up our field of view. “Surprise!” I cheer.He stares in wide-eyed disbelief. “We’re going bowling?”“Yup. I thought it would be fun. So come on.”I pull him by the hand into the bowling alley, t
For five years my life felt stagnant; stuck in a routine, too afraid and guilty to step out from my day-to-day. Now I’ve been swept up in a romantic whirlwind and I’ve never been happier.These past few weeks have been the most exhilarating of my life. Julian took me to the Academy Museum of Motion Pictures, which I thought I’d hate or find boring, but I actually loved it! I walked a red carpet – it’s something the museum offers visitors – held an Oscar and delivered an acceptance speech that made Julian emotional. I learned the history of moviemaking and found the entire experience fascinating. It also allowed me to see Julian’s passion for the art form he has chosen as a career. I even got to see the real shark from Jaws! Who is apparently named Bruce. That was new information. I don’t think I’ll ever watch Jaws the same way now.At my suggestion, we went to Echo Park Lake and rode on those swan paddle things, and on another date, we had a day of fun at the Santa Monica Pier. Just th
I’m pulled from my inquisitive thoughts when I notice the limo pulling up to a marina. I sit up attentively, looking out the window at the lines of docked boats, but it’s as the limo comes to a stop that I see it’s stopped next to a long black carpet. Edward is out and opening the door, holding his hand out to me, which I eagerly take as I get out of the car, smiling in gratitude when I see how excited he seems to be for my date. I look down the length of the carpet to see Julian waiting at the other end, standing tall and dashing with a look of awe on his face.I breathe the sea air into my lungs, pull my shoulders back and walk down the length of the carpet. The closer I get to Julian the more jaw-droppingly handsome he looks. His hair is styled with gel, leaving it motionless in the breeze, a black, long-sleeve button-down shirt left partially open with a pristine white suit jacket over the top with a black handkerchief poking out from the breast pocket. His muscular legs are showc
Immediately I feel dread wash over me and those unpleasant gut bubbles rising in my stomach. The urge to check behind me starts to creep in and quickly my head begins to spin.“You couldn’t have phrased that another way?” Áine chastises Irina.“Nothing terrible has happened,” Irina quickly assures me, only easing my dread by a fraction.“Then why did you sound all foreboding like that?” I prod, breathing through my anxiety as Áine rubs soothing circles on my back.“Okay, so that’s on me. I was just going to say…Julian’s been calling me. He’s shown up to my place and left voicemails and text messages, all of him looking for you. I haven’t told him where you are because it’s none of his fucking business. I just thought you should know he’s clearly desperate to talk to you,” she informs me.Just hearing his name causes a pang in my chest. Since I left the penthouse I blocked and deleted his number. He came to the diner a couple times but each time someone covered for me and told him I wa
“Nalani, are you sure about this?” Lamont gently asks, his eyes filled with sadness as he holds my letter of resignation in his hands.“I’m sorry, Monty. I’ve thought long and hard about this and as much as I liked working here and the people I’ve gotten to know, I just don’t think it’s in my best interest to stay. Recent events have caused me to have painful memories here and with what’s going on in my personal life, I think changing jobs would be good for my safety,” I delicately explain.Finding work isn’t easy in this economy but for my wellbeing, I need to put myself on lockdown. I’m looking for new work and I’ll be sure to let my employers know not to hand my information out to anyone who asks no matter what. I’m also looking for a new place to live so I can start fresh. Making sure this guy couldn’t call me is one thing, but he knows where I live and he knows where I work, so the next best thing I can do is change that. Is there a chance he is watching my every move and will st
The sound of glass shattering wakes me from my deep sleep with a jolt. I sit up in bed, my eyes alert and frantic as I look around the room. I reach across the bed, pulling my phone out from under my pillow and see that it’s two in the morning. I unlock my phone and type 911 into the keypad as I carefully get out of bed and make my way to the door.With my heart clogging my throat and cold dread rolling through me, I carefully open the door, make my way to the hallway railing and peer down to the floor below. I glance around and finally, my eyes fall on the source of the crashing. I let out a deep sigh of relief and slip my phone into my pocket as I make my way downstairs. With each step, my concern grows as I watch a dishevelled-looking Julian haphazardly pour himself a glass of vodka while shards of broken glass lay at his feet.His cheeks are rosy, his eyes are glassy – but not from crying – his jacket is nowhere to be seen, and his shirt is rolled up to the elbows with his bowtie
“And that girl was so mean. I can’t believe she smacked the fork out of his hand,” Áine remarks shaking her head, recalling our shift at the diner.“I don’t know the poor guy, but I hope he sees sense and dumps her. No one should be with someone that toxic,” I add as we step off the elevator and into the penthouse.“Even you know when to leave a toxic relationship. No offence,” she adds sheepishly.“No offence taken,” I assure her, making my way to the kitchen to grab some snacks and drinks from the refrigerator.“Are you sure Julian won’t mind me being here?” she nervously asks.“He’s not my warden, Áine. I can have friends over. I had asked Amber if she wanted to join, but she’s swamped at work.”“Maybe next time,” she chirps optimistically.That’s something I love about Áine…well, I honestly love just about everything about her. She is so bubbly and optimistic, just wanting to see others happy. There aren’t many people like her; I just wish she could direct some of that optimism to
Taking a deep breath I try to calm the worms crawling around in my stomach. I place my hand on the door, take in one more breath for good measure, and walk into the diner. I’m only two steps inside when someone scares the daylights out of me by screaming my name.“LANI!”I’m immediately wrapped in a bear hug by Bernadette, who I haven’t seen in ages. She squeezes me tight, rocking me back and forth as her thick wavey brown hair gets all up in my mouth.“I can’t believe you’re back. I was worried we’d never see you again,” she whines in her thick German accent.I smile, hugging her in return and giving her a tight squeeze. “You know me, I’m a workaholic, I was bound to come back eventually,” I say playfully.“Are you just visiting or are you back back?”“I’m back back, I just need to go talk to Gary.”“He’s in his office,” she informs me, beaming.“You’re the best,” I smile, giving her a kiss on the cheek and making my way to Gary’s office.As I’m about to knock on the door, I get an u
Entering the apartment with my shopping bags I’m immediately greeted by Julian’s enraged voice emanating from somewhere upstairs and reverberating around the spacious penthouse. Concern fills me as I cautiously make my way upstairs, the sound of Julian’s pointed words increasing in volume with each step I take. I guess that’s another reason to have an apartment with more walls: they act as a sound barrier.“No, no, NO. You swore to me it was a sure thing, Gradin. You were the one who told me I was a shoo-in for a Best Actor nomination at the Oscars, and now you’re trying to tell me I’m not even a fucking consideration?! I’m not involved in any fucking drama or bad press so either I’ve been blacklisted for some ungodly reason, OR YOU FUCKING LIED TO ME!” he fumes.Yikes…he didn’t even sound this angry when the police were over here. I learned the hard way that Julian doesn’t handle criticism or rejection well, so I don’t think I want to be in the line of fire when he’s upset like this.
“Lani?” calls Julian’s voice gently followed by a light rap on the door.I sigh, pulling my legs against my chest, “What?”“Can I come in?” he tentatively asks.“It’s your house,” I remind him.He opens the door and lets himself in. I look over to see him watching me with a sheepish look on his face. He walks over and sits on the edge of the bed, probably deciding it’s better to keep a safe distance from me.“I’m sorry,” he says sincerely, running his fingers through his hair in frustration. “You’re right, this isn’t happening to me, and I don’t have a right to get so worked up on your behalf and make this about me and how I’m feeling when you’re the one going through this. I shouldn’t have done that,” he admits.“I don’t blame you for getting upset, and I appreciate that you care, but I’m struggling enough to make sense of all this to myself, worrying about you freaking out on top of everything is just too much for me right now and I’m sorry if that’s selfish but I am seriously over
Sitting on the sofa I stare at my hands, determined to pick this frustrating piece of skin that has come up close to my cuticle. I just know it’s going to keep getting caught on things and will drive me insane. I never understand how they occur. You never really see it happen; you just suddenly one day feel a sting or feel something catch, then you look and there is another tiny piece of skin that’s come up from around your nails. It shouldn’t be so annoying, but it is.“Lani,” I hear a familiar voice call my name.I look up into concerned sapphire eyes. They used to smile more, but now they just seem to either look at me with guilt or concern.“Hmm?” I hum.“Here, I made you some hot chocolate,” Julian explains, sitting beside me and placing the mug in my hands. “Sugar is good for shock,” he assures me with a comforting smile.Shock? Is that what this is? Honestly, I’ve been through so many emotions lately that I can barely keep them straight. They’ve all started to bleed together an
***I give Irina and Áine the biggest hugs I can as I reluctantly say goodbye to them. Having them here and spending the day with them has been like a booster shot to the arm. I wanted them to stay and never leave, but I know they have lives to get back to, and it’s not like I’ll never see them again. I guess I’m just feeling homesick for our regular get-togethers.“I want you guys to know you are welcome to stop by any time, day or not. I’ve missed hanging out with you guys,” I say sadly.“On the bright side, your bedroom here is bigger than your whole studio apartment,” Áine chuckles. “For a change, we all fit comfortably.”I smile half-heartedly. As nice as it is here, I miss having my own place. I miss the home I made for myself. That being said, I’m not ready to go back and even if I do, it will only be to pack up the rest of my things and move the hell out. You couldn’t even pay me to continue to live there now.Áine quickly kisses my cheek goodbye and gets in the cab waiting fo