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Chapter # 11
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2024-10-29 19:42:56My eyes slowly opened when the sunlight penetrated through the curtains. I adjusted my vision and the realization hit me like a truck.
I realized that my soul is corrupt now. I have lost my innocence, my purity.
‘I successfully bargained for my virginity.’
I have just survived the most horrendous night of my life. Depression took over me in just one day, I'll turn insane but I have no choice but to keep these feelings in my heart and bear this undesirable feeling of being used over and over again.
I shifted my gaze and saw Christian standing in front of me. My eyes widened in horror as I quickly sat up and pulled the duvet over me to hide my exposed form.
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My throat dried and my body became numb. Not wanting to face him again, I went to the library again. I began to pace around it in stress.As I was pacing, Samuel came,"Ma'am, Sir is waiting for you in the dining hall." My heart skipped a beat as my body began to shake in fear.I don't want to face him, It's scaring me.I bit my cheeks and went to the dining hall. He was sitting on the head of the house chair. He has changed into a casual shirt and trousers. I muster some courage and walked closer,"Welcome Home." I said in a low voice. He looked at me with a mystifying yet surprised gaze.“What?” He asked, blinking in confusion.
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My eyes flutter open along with an aching pain in my body. I tried to shift but I felt a hand restricting my movements. I bit my lips to bear this repugnant and seething feeling.'What do you truly want?' I turned and saw Christian face so close to mine. My heart skipped a beat as I shifted myself away from him as far as I could but his grip didn't let me go very far.Feeling disgusted, I looked at him with loathe. But his eyes were closed as he was sleeping peacefully.'By destroying my sleep you are enjoying a lull?'I noticed his flawless features that are so appealing that one can bend itself before it. The looks, mastered in capturing anyone just by looking at them beguilingly. As if
Toxic Marriage Chapter # 14
‘I felt good when he touched me.’"I didn't!""I didn't!""I didn't like it!""I hate it! I hate you!"I continued to cry as I felt extreme dislike and revulsion for myself to find this disgusting intimacy pleasurable."I didn't like it.." I said as I leaned on the door, letting the tears fall down.I looked down and after a few seconds, I began to scratch where he touched me. I let out loud sobs of dejection."I didn't like it.""I didn't like it.""I didn't like it."
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My petite form continued to convulse as he rested his forehead against mine and closed his eyes for a second.“Why..? Am I too harsh? Too rough? I believe I told you to let me know if I am.” He said, tone softening.Everything calmed down in that moment, the tiny spark of affection was shown in him as we remained like that in the dark room. “Was I?” He asked again and swallowing hard, I shook my head in denial.“Then why do you act if I forced you? Didn’t I stop yesterday or before it as well?” He asked with our silence that somewhat, for the first time, serene me as I stopped quivering for a second, looking away.“Do you truly want me to show you how it feels to be forced? I have your written consent and
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Christian POV:-I don't want her to be hurt, I know I hurt her the most but if she hurt herself, I won't be able to face her.I don't want to love her, she can never remove those apprehensions of my heart and I will never let her too. I will do whatever I can, just to make sure that she doesn't love me, even if it involves hurting her.But she hates me even if I have done nothing.That's why I felt relieved when she hated my touch. I was happy that there are no chances that she can love me.She felt disgust and hate for me. That intense detest can never be removed and it worked in my favor as I don't have to go through that feeling of betray
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I know that she doesn't like my touch but still I tried to calm her so that she can relax in my presence but that apparently seemed impossible.She put her head on my shoulder as she continued to weep."T-that wasn't m-my dream." She stuttered as she held my shirt. Soaking my shoulder with her tears."I should be happy about it but I wasn't." She whispered again.Being curious I asked, "What was it about?" She shivered when I asked. She doesn't want to tell. She looked at me hesitantly and I moved my hand from her hairs to her tears as I wiped them. She looked down and said,"You'll be angry." Her voice sounded scared as usual. Being irritated that she is not speaking about it, I still remained patient and said again,"Tell me, I won't be angry." She wiped her last tear as she tried to get away from my laps but I held her and didn't let her. She cringed as I asked sternly, "Who told you to get away?" She looked down and bit her lips as I could feel the fear she had in her heart for
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Sophie POV:-It's almost midnight and my stomach was growling. My dried lips formed a thin line as I was starving and also in a desperate need of sleep but I was waiting for Christian. Seems like he forgot that there's a wife waiting for him.But, Why am I waiting for him? I can eat alone too but somewhere in my heart, I don't want to. More like I can't since he ‘expects’ me to have dinner with him.I sighed and put my head on the dining table and closed my eyes.I wonder why his eyes always flicker with compassion as if even if he wants to hurt me, he can't. Something is pulling him to not to do that. I find it funny, nothing can stop that cold guy, he can break me miserably any moment, there are no restrictions, I gave him all the rights to do it and to be honest, I am afraid of the day he will.‘And somewhere deep down, I think he wouldn’t break me and if he did, I don’t think it would break me physically- my body belongs to him- but emotionally.’He can do anything and can indu
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The next day, I was swinging my legs while sitting on the couch in the library because I am alone in the house and the devil has gone to work.His absence feels like a reprieve from chaos, A short-lived freedom to me.After reading, I leaned back and closed my eyes and remembered him consoling me for the nightmare and later intimidating me about it.I just don't understand him. Why does he pity me? Why does he show little gestures that make me feel like he cares?‘When there isn't any love then why does he refrain himself? There's no need for him to confine himself.’He doesn’t have to make things so complicated.His eyes are always clo
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The way my fingers intertwine with his is bliss. Like, I am made only for him and he for me and nothing in this world separates us. Being so close to each other that even if distance came between us our hearts will always be connected. Receiving that benediction of being with him, I stare at his beautiful face becoming more prepossessing under moonlight. I continued to watch him with yearning and began to say, "Christian, You filled my life with so much happiness. I feel blessed to have you by my side. If I have you I want nothing else, You are my strength which helped me to overcome every difficulty of my life. You are my hope of a better tomorrow. I feel like I can even walk on thorns because I know you are here to heal my scars. No matter how much I fa
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"Sophie, We may have met in the most unexpected situation, starting our lives as nothing but some kind of toxic marriage but you know what? Our hearts were connected years ago and after so many tries to twist fate, my heart is still attracted to yours. I found myself being close to you and no matter how much I try to isolated myself from this passionate bond, In the end, I found myself worshiping this dusty tomb of ours as it become and eternal source of gratification to me and I am so happy to give me a chance to love because i was lost and you found me. Introduced me to the world I never thought existed for me and my heart finally accepted the fact; That’s what love is and my love is you. " I lifted my gaze and looked a
Toxic Marriage Chapter # 106
Once again, I am at my mother's place with no signs of Christian. Now where did he go this time? I sighed deeply and looked at Roger and Juliette playing with the kids and were so engrossed in it. Mother then came, she smiled and sat down. I thought it would be awkward for them to meet after all these years but it seems like everyone is on good terms now. They are quite friendly, I didn’t expect it. "By the way Sophie, Why are you so stressed?" Juliette asked tickling Aletha and earned a giggle from her and grinning. "Once again, Where is Christian?" I said putting my palm on my chin. Well, the advantage of coming here is that Mother takes care of the kid and I can finally have a peaceful sleep but it never lasts long as their hunger takes over. "Oh, Look, It s
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After dinner I came to my room and saw two angels sleeping peacefully on the bed as there's no crib here. I cautiously set pillows on the corner so that they won't fall and shifted in a corner. I plopped on my elbows as I stared at their angelic form. I decided to call Christian but he didn't reply. Seems like he has slept or else it’s impossible for him to not pick up my call. I also fell asleep. *** It's been a few days and Christian didn't contact me. I puffed and was angry at him. No, it's an understatement; I was burning with wrath. I sat on the sofa angrily as my mother asked, "Hey, Why are you so angry?" "Where the hell is your nephew!? Can't he call me for once?! What kind of errand is that?" I yelled frustratedly.
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"Oh, Come on, Tell me." I whined for I don't know what time but Christian kept smirking, irking me more. I pouted and closed my arms at my chest in annoyance because of his lack of response. I just woke up this morning, from the sweet sleep at night. Note the sarcasm. And when I was about to receive a lull, he came up with Mine, Christopher and Aletha bags saying we are going somewhere special and when I asked what about him, he just said that he has some errands and we are going somewhere. I never took care of one child and now I have two of them, so it's very difficult, but I am grateful that I have Christian and helpers of the house with me. But, at night, all of them are oblivious of the fact that we have kids at home. When one sleeps the other cries, leaving me with no time to have for myself and bestowed wit
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1 Month Later:- I sat on the sofa and put my leg over the other in pride as I held my head high in pride. A smirk was formed on my lips as I kept looking at Christian who was trying so hard to change Christopher's diaper. A laugh escaped my lips as I mocked, "Too easy, isn't it?" He scoffed and said, "Chris, Don't move that much." "Watch it Aletha, how your father is trying that hard." I said to her, Christian kept trying but Christopher kept moving his legs, not letting him secure the diaper. When Christian finally thought he was successful in it, another laugh escaped my lips. "What now? Can't you see. I won." He said annoyed as I replied, "You are not supposed to make him wear it like this, it's inside out." His mouth gaped as he felt his hopes being crushed.
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I went after him and called him, "Christian!" He stopped in his tracks and turned to me, he raised an eyebrow at me and hummed.He acts as if her death is meaningless, even in revenge. He seemed completely normal, not a single shred of remorse or happiness that he completed his goal."Don't you feel anything?" I asked hoping he'll show a single emotion but to no avail.I don't know what I am thinking is right or wrong but I definitely can't be happy over someone's death even if that person is that Bastard's daughter.A human life is precious and you can't bear any grudges to the dead. We both have to understand this."Tell me what you feel first." Christian said, turning to me. I gave him a sad
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"Open them." He ordered in his deep commanding voice that finally made me bend my knees in defeat against the dominating presence before me. His grip tightened as I felt his nails digging into my skin as another moan escape my lips in pleasure because of these cherished sensations, "P-Please C-Christian.." I couldn't oppose the urge to have him anymore as I spread my legs apart a little. I swallowed hard and called him again, "Christian.." He again lifted his gaze. The way his gaze slowly made its way to me is causing a disruption in my mind. Wrecking a havoc of needs for him but I want to control myself. He then noticed that slight distress in me as his grip loosen. He leaned in close to my face as his
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6 Months Later:- I walked down the stairs looking for Aletha and Christopher and saw them playing with their father. Aletha has learned to crawl but Christopher grew a tooth! She looked so cute when she crawled and he looked so adorable when he laughed. God, I love them so much!I just can't explain my happiness. They are my reason to live, all three of them. My light, my love, my heartbeat, my life. I saw them as a smile crept upon my lips when I saw Christian playing with them. He shot his head up and smiled, "Good Morning, Love." I smiled back as I yawned and sat beside him holding Aletha and kissing her forehead. "How did you sleep?" he asked. I put her down and then picked C
