I hadn’t stopped thinking about Felix since he left my side outside after we shared that kiss that should never have happened. I was sure the sun had already risen and so I wouldn’t be seeing him again anytime soon. The way he left and the sound he made as he fled the scene made my cheeks warm up each time without fail. I was embarrassed by what I felt and thought in the moments before the kiss. How had things changed so drastically? How did I go from hating him with all my heart to thinking it was okay for him to kiss me? Where was the old Jade? Had feelings of guilt and loneliness shaped her forever? I had to admit that I’d become unrecognizable, even to myself. Now, I was only wondering what he thought. Had he felt because of how disgusted he was? I didn’t want to think that way but he hadn’t given me a choice. I was now self-conscious and too self-aware to wind down and not worry about it at all. I wondered why it was that he didn’t look at me after the kiss when he was the one
It was a major surprise to me when Felix knocked on my bedroom door. When I opened it, he was leaning against the door frame. He was wearing a leather jacket with a plain black T-shirt underneath—his usual attire. The one thing that was considerably different about him was the look on his eyes. The neutrality he’d shown me earlier was gone.I’d never met this Felix Russell before. “I’m going into the city tonight,” he told me. “I was wondering if you wanted to come with me.”I searched his eyes before responding, “And what are we going to do there exactly?”“Aren’t you hungry?”I wanted to tell him I wasn’t but I kept that to myself. He probably already heard it anyway. Driving into the city was exactly what I needed to fight this endless boredom away and it excited me, the thought of going back. “Give me a few minutes,” I replied before closing the door. I got ready in record time. It was only a shame that I had to wear my old clothes which were starting to look less presentable
“What are you doing?” I asked him, my heart beating incredibly fast. I wondered why my first instinct was to ask him that and not scream. I should have screamed. He was pointing a gun at me. “Trying to save your life,” he said between his teeth, stepping closer. “When I received the call that you were here, I knew I had to come even though we didn’t part ways in the most friendly way, did we?”“That’s because you’re a hypocrite,” I shot at him. “You told me to stay away from Felix because he wasn’t trustworthy yet you were keeping things from me too, weren’t you?”I wanted to ask him how he’d received the call and from whom, but I didn’t think it would matter. He was here already. “Look,” he said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t know what he said from you. I’m genuinely just trying to help you, can’t you see that? They’re not good for you. You can’t tell me that you haven’t already figured that out.”“You’re not good for me either,” I stated. “Unless you want me to
After putting all the food away, I could finally rest. The night had been pleasant yet stressful toward the end. I couldn’t recall how happy I’d been earlier without remembering my father in that bathroom, holding a gun. Why he was so adamant to get me away from Felix was a mystery to me. How could I be useful to him? That was another question that was on my mind.Why couldn’t he just leave me alone?I sat on one of the stools next to the counter and drummed my fingertips against the countertop lightly. I was deep in thought when Sven strode in. His hair was everywhere and he looked like he had just woken up. He was also barefoot and wore only a pair of pants. It wasn’t a look I’d ever seen on him before. “Oh, Jade,” he said when he saw me. “Wasn’t expecting to see you here so early.”“It’s five in the morning,” I remarked. “Is it early or late?”“You know the answer where I’m concerned,” he replied as he walked toward the pantry. I knew what they kept there so I kept my eyes fixed
The knock at the door awoke something inside of me. I looked at Felix’s face and realized what I was doing. I was shocked by my reaction and when he got off me, I felt cold. Still, I didn’t particularly care even though I was somewhat in shock. I still wanted him. I still craved his touch. I had no idea what I’d do later when the guilt hit me but right now, all I wanted was to feel good. I watched him walk toward the door and open it. Jay was standing on the other side of the door. Why wasn’t I surprised? He glanced at me over Felix’s shoulder and his expression wasn’t all that pleasant. When I looked down at my body, I saw how my abdomen was exposed. I quickly lowered it as they exchanged a few heated words at the door, too low for me to make much sense of what they were saying. Felix then closed the door. He stood with his hand on the doorframe for a handful of seconds before he turned around to look at me. I, in turn, looked at him expectantly. I noticed how his expression had
The night was going smoothly. Marina and I were having a great time. She said she was lonely most of the time because she rarely had company. Although her human friends came by once in a while, she had lost touch with a lot of them because she couldn’t visit their homes, and they couldn’t do normal things together. This was mostly because she didn’t want to leave Phil behind. He was even lonelier than she was, and to her it felt wrong. Phil and the others hadn’t come up from what she called ‘the Den’ yet. It was the place where he met with all the vampires who visited him, and she never ventured down there for fear of seeing something she didn’t want to see. So, we were alone for the longest time. She asked me about my story and I was reluctant to tell her most of it. My past was too dark and complicated to share it casually, so we focused on something else instead, something that intrigued her: “How did you end up with them?”“It’s a little complicated,” I began. “It was Felix w
“Jade,” Vanessa said. Her voice sounded distant. I looked up and her face was a blur. “We have to go,” she pressed. “Now.”I stood on shaky legs and she took my arm. I felt nauseous and my dizziness didn’t pass. Still, I tried my best not to fall flat on my face. There was a sense of urgency around her and all her actions. I understood that I had to move and fast. We went down the stairs and I nearly tripped many times. We made it downstairs safely, though. The sight didn’t do me any favors. The whole floor was covered in the darkest blood, so dark that it was almost black. My eyes widened when I saw the dead wolves littered around the living area. My stomach lurched and I ended up vomiting right on the floor. “Great,” someone murmured behind me. Jay, of course. His arms were covered in blood and he had splatters of it on his face. A massacre had occurred here yet they were all unscathed. It was only then that I understood how truly lethal they were. Sven walked through the en
I was lying on my bed and feeling terrible. I somehow managed to make it all the way here. I had Felix’s help, of course, but I felt so weak that I didn’t think I’d be able to climb the stairs. I was demoralized and my guilt wasn’t helping me. I felt like I’d killed Marina and Phil. I’d ruined their happiness. And over time, I became angry at all of them for not telling me what was going to happen. Maybe I would have held myself back. Maybe I would have been prepared for the disaster that happened. She was a good person. She didn’t deserve to die. I hated Felix. I hated all three of them. Right now, I wanted to be anywhere but here. If I could just get those grisly scenes out of my mind, I would have felt better. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t erase the memory of him walking in with her in his arms. And then him dying because he couldn’t fathom living a life without her. I sat up in bed when the noise in my head got too loud. I took a few steadying breaths before deciding that what
Xander brushed my hair away from my shoulders, leaving my neck bare. His pupils dilated. To be fair, I was more nervous than he was, but that was only because of the last time that we bonded. I was in pain for the longest time, and about half of the bond ended up being consumed by my blood. I didn’t want to go through that again, but if we didn’t try again, I would never know if trying to mark me a second time would work. “You never know,” he said like he read my thoughts. “Second time might be the charm.”“Isn’t it usually the third time?”“Let’s hope it won’t come to that.” He massaged the spot with his thumb, spreading heat in the area. I shuddered a little, and my nipples hardened against the soft material of my nightgown. He lowered his head and kissed the spot he caressed, ripping a soft moan from me. If there was one thing that Xander knew how to do, it was turn me on. While he kissed my neck, his hands began exploring. He placed them over my breasts, which were so taut th
A few minutes passed by in absolute silence. Konstantin was dead. Cassian was dead. I guessed that the others were dead, too. Felix stared at his brother’s body unwaveringly. I wanted to go to him and offer him some kind of comfort. He’d tried to find a way out for him for centuries. And now that he was out, he was forced to kill him himself. Xander looked at me and said, “Jade, let’s go. Let’s get out of here.”I looked back and forth between him and Felix. I didn’t want to leave him; I didn’t come all the way here just to free him and then walk out of his life like nothing happened. I didn’t want things between us to end so abruptly. “Jade,” he said again, this time more firmly. I glanced over at him, then raised a hand, gesturing for him to wait for a bit. I went down the front steps and then slowly approached Felix, who was too busy looking down at his dead brother. He didn’t look up, even when I was just a few feet away from him.“Felix?” I said. Only then did he meet my g
“Felix?”He was in disbelief. “What are you doing here? What did Cassian do to you?”I couldn’t see anything, but still tried to stand up. I held out my hands in front of me as I tried to find out where he was. “There’s a light pull switch somewhere around here. Try to find it.”I didn’t stop until I grabbed the cord. Light flooded the room, and I had to shield my eyes from the glare. I heard him say, “How did you end up here? What happened?”“I came to save you,” I explained. He said, “What?”“I knew that you were in danger, and so I came to find you.” I opened my eyes and took a good look at him. My heart broke in two when I saw that he was locked in a narrow cage, completely naked and bound. There were deep cuts in his chest, one of the cuts being suspiciously close to the heart. It was like he was being drained. “You shouldn’t have come here,” he spat. His eyes were bluer than usual, but perhaps that was only because of how pale his skin was compared to before. “Why would you
The house where Linda and Benjamin lived with Landon was hard to find. We spent almost the whole night looking for it. I was sure that Konstantin probably found it by now, but we had no way of communicating and anyway, he never said that he’d take care of the situation tonight. We’d probably have to spend a day spying in order to get acquainted with the area. We successfully tracked their home thanks to one of the werewolves who were with Xander. He had a particularly sensitive nose, and he was a shifter, which meant that he could become a werewolf at any moment, unlike Xander, who had to wait for the full moon. Shifters were different kinds of werewolves. More powerful. Things between Xander and I weren’t as tense anymore. We were actually talking to each other now; granted, we never mentioned our relationship or any of the risks involved, but we were saying something to each other, which was a significant improvement to whatever was happening between us earlier on. “Your fathe
Konstantin’s house was as terrifying as it was the first time I saw it. The shutters made it seem like there was never anyone home, and I wondered if any curious soul ever tried to break in and found themselves standing face-to-face with a monster. A blood-sucking one at that. I took a deep and steadying breath. Now that I was here, I couldn’t turn back. I’d come too far. I crossed the unkempt lawn, and onto stopped when I reached the front door. I raised my fist and knocked. At first, there was no reply. I had a moment of derealization. I was having them more frequently. I felt dizziness and an intense disbelief for a handful of moments, and then there was nothing. I heard his voice from within. It was tinged with curiosity. “Who dares to knock on Konstantin’s door? Do you willingly seek death? If so, you’re in the right place.”I lamely said, “It’s me. Jade.” “Jade?” he asked, sounding confused. “I was here with Felix.”He opened the door right away. I heard him unlock it,
Xander still hadn’t said a word to me, and it was starting to make me feel really uneasy. I wished he’d say something. Then again, maybe I deserved the silence. I was taking him to a dangerous place all because I felt the need to save Felix (even when I’d been told that he didn’t want to be helped). He was risking his life here.We rode the subway to reach Konstantin’s neighborhood. I still recalled where it was, but honestly, I was starting to seriously doubt my plan. There was more than enough time to turn back, but something wouldn’t let me. Gratitude, perhaps. He’d saved me many times when I was in danger, and it only felt right to do the same thing for him. Besides, Cassian had to be stopped. Was I supposed to live my life looking over my shoulder for him? I would prefer it if we got rid of him permanently. And because only a vampire could kill another vampire (successfully), I’d need a vampire’s help. And Sven suggested Konstantin, so that was that. As we sat side by side,
Our first stop was their apartment. Since it was daylight, there wasn't much that we could do, so we had to kill time by paying for a room in a shitty hotel room nearby. It was five buildings away—we wouldn't be able to keep an eye on their building and monitor movements—but it was the best thing we could do. Although we kissed right when we left his new pack, I wasn't sure where we stood. It wasn't like we'd completely reconciled, and right now, my thoughts were on Felix. But I was grateful that he came with me, and his gesture spoke volumes. He sat on the edge of the bed while I stared out the window. "So, what now? What's your plan exactly?""I'll ask them where Felix is, and then I'll go to him.""Just like that?"I cut him a look. "It's the only plan I have.""It's not the best plan, Jade," Xander said with a hint with impatience. "You're running back to the very people who wanted to use you as a weapon without a plan. What if they don't let you walk away? What if that Cassian
I must have fallen asleep because I woke up on the bed.I sat up, alarmed. My heart started racing as fear clawed at me. I hated that I'd fallen asleep in a territory that I wasn't familiar with. Where was Xander?I allowed myself to relax when I realized that I wasn't in immediate danger. The bedroom door was closed, so I had no idea what was going on outside. I had to go check. I climbed out of bed and peered outside. I didn't see anything of notable significance. The corridor was dark and empty. It was also impossible to tell whether it was day or night, which meant that I had no idea how long I'd been out for. I was disoriented. Did I want to risk going downstairs and looking for Xander? What did I even want? I didn't know what I wanted to do. What was my plan here? Felix said I had to stay here because it was safer. I wouldn't doubt him because I now knew that he had the best intentions with me. He wouldn't have said that if he didn't actually believe that I was safe here. B
Cassian was enraged. “Brother?” he asked, tilting his head. He touched the side of his head, which was bleeding, and then wiped his blood on his pants. “I told you to stop,” Felix said, using the same voice he’d used earlier. “This isn’t going to continue. I’ve had enough.”“You’ve had enough?” Cassian asked in disbelief. “What about me, who spent centuries rotting inside a cage, starving to death? Do you think there’s such a thing as ‘enough’?”“I won’t let you use Jade,” he stated. “Our plan was different before. This would have all been done with her consent. But now, it’s done. It didn’t work. We should all move on.”Cassian paced back and forth, pointing a finger at Felix and then putting it back down. He was still holding me, and I had to admit that I felt very much safe standing next to him, and I knew that he wouldn’t let his brother put his hands on me again. He’d stopped it, and that was what mattered to me. “You’re choosing this whore over me?” he asked. “Is that what t