Calum is heavy. I’ll never know how I manage to get him into the car but I do. Breathing heavily, I dial Amelia on my way to her house. She picks on the first ring, her voice a bit slow, words slurred.
She can’t be asleep because I need her help.
“Hey,” Amelia says through a voice inflected by sleep. I’m in worse shape. My hands and legs are shaking and every time the car swerves because I’m unfocused, I shudder. “What’s up? Is he okay?”
I choke on a sob, shaking my head like my best friend is here to see me. Without glancing at Calum, I know the poor state he’s in. “He’s not okay.”
“What happened? Hey, are you okay?” The sleep in her voice clears. “Hey! Cathy. Where are you?”
Clenching the steering wheel, the words tumble out of my lips. I am on auto mode, spitting out the little I know. Amelia gasps when I mention blood. T
Before Calum wakes, I leave Amelia’s place to get Dani’s car and drop it off at the house. On my return, my stepbrother is still asleep so I crawl in bed with him. Ashley shows up a few times to check on him. A part of me knows she wants me to take him to the hospital, I also know I should do the same but Calum didn’t want hospitals involved.Someone shakes me awake. I pry my eyes open to see my best friend smiling at me. I sit up and Amelia points to the tray she dropped on the bedside drawer. Steam rises from the plate, I squint at it, my brain unable to process the sight before me.“I brought breakfast,” she says.“Thanks.”Our attention shifts to Calum, I place the back of my palm on his forehead. He’s warm to my touch. Giving my hand a last squeeze, Amelia leaves the room. I drag a chair by the bed but Calum doesn’t stir. My stomach growls and I have to force myself to eat.
Over the next few days, we maintain the same routine. Cuddling and bathing together. There is nothing erotic about those moments but I won’t give it up or trade it for anything.I roll over on the bed and my body collides with something firm. Calum groans. He peels one eye open and the other follows suit. I love his blues.“Hey, pretty girl,” he says.“Hey, pretty boy,” I reply. He giggles and it’s so cute. Pushing myself up an elbow, I touch the bandage. It has reduced in size. “How are you?”“Okay.”My hand lowers to the other side of him and the blanket falls, exposing my breasts. We share eye contact and my core throbs with an acute need for him. Yes, we have been naked together but it’s different. We were too focused on getting him into shape. I withdraw to my former position, elbows and back on the bed but he tugs me towards him.“Come,&rdqu
Clean and fed, I snuggle up to my stepbrother on the living room couch. Calum smells so good I inhale his scent over and over again. He ruffles my hair and my body sighs in contentment. I look up to him, a finger moving above the bandage that has reduced even more in size to a square. His eyes wrinkle at the corners and he let his hands fall.“You look different,” Calum says.I guess so. Sometimes, I don’t recognise myself in the mirror. I was so used to having a different hair colour each term that I forgot what I looked like in my real hair colour. Like my mum. Propping my chin on Calum’s chest, I play with his stubble.A bang sounds from the television, drawing our attention to the drama we forgot about. I freeze at the scene. A car crash with a lady as the driver.Dark memories roll over me and my pulse spikes. Calum’s arm tightens around my body, his thumb moving in circles on my lower back. My chest cl
Calum is gone.Gone.I wake up alone. My palm moves over the bed. It’s warm. That means he couldn’t have been gone for long. I reach for my phone to call him but the blue note pinned to the top of the drawer catches my attention. His handwriting elicits a smile out of me. It looks like the note was written in a rush.I’ll be back soon – CWhy didn’t he just wake me? I dial his number but he doesn’t pick. The second time, it’s unreachable. Who will check his wound? Is this him trying to avoid me after baring his soul to me? That’s not unlike him but I force the doubts out of my mind.Yesterday was different. Calum loves me and I love him too. We can make this relationship work. I head into the kitchen to make breakfast for two.He will be back today, right?False.Few minutes past seven and Calum is not back yet. I pace the living room, phone in
My eyes snap open. We stare at each other. Was that his plan? To steal kisses from me and leave? No fucking way.“Sorry for what?” Calum moistens his lips and I feel his regrets. He is sorry for kissing me. For touching me. Is this how it will always be with us? I launch an attack on him, raining punches on his chest, his shoulders. “I hope you had fun at your dumb club.”“Cathy.” He darts a look at the door in warning but I don’t care. I’m tired of him. “Cathy, stop.”“No, you stop,” I snap. My punches grow more frantic, he grabs my wrists and pins me under him. The fight leaves my body and my arms fall to my sides. “Where were you the whole day? Where?”Moving, Calum repositions on the edge of the bed and folds his hands behind his neck. I hate him and I love him. Fuck him. “With a producer. It wasn’t supposed to be the whole day but we ende
I hate mother’s day because it reminds me mine is gone. So, on this particular Sunday, what do I do? I avoid everyone with mothers and request a ride to church from Dad so I can visit mine after the mass. Calum would have offered to drive me but we haven’t said a word to each other since third term began. He is good at making himself invisible so avoiding him has been easier than I thought.Away from the eyes, away from the mind, right?All lies.Voices from downstairs have my steps faltering on the staircase. I can hear Dad’s voice. He asked me to join them in the living room when I was ready. My grasp on my phone is hard enough to crack the screen but I don’t ease up. Dani’s voice is louder, she’s laughing at something Dad must have said to her. I’m on the last stair, so close to them but my heart begs me to race back to my room and hide. I don’t want to see anybody that reminds me of him.
“Will you come back to me?” “I will. I’ll always come back to you, Cathy.” My head raises, he slides his palms up to cup my face. The sincerity in his gaze floors me. I don’t know what he wants to say but I believe him. In the end, we will be fine. “Home is wherever you are, superstar. I will always come back home.” * * * Calum finally decides to give his stepsister what she wants. Himself. All of him. The emotional back and forth has taken a toll on him and he's ready to settle. But on certain conditions. Dating his stepsister shouldn't be hard but there are rules they must follow; One: keep it a secret. Two: no touching in public. Three: no pet names. Four: refer to rules one, two and three. These rules seem pretty easy but breaking them is easier. And the problem Cathy has with all four rules is this: she wants to show her first boyfriend off. She wants to kiss him in public, smack his ass, steal chips from his plate and make TicToc
My first understanding of the anonymity Calum was so worried about is on our way out of the cemetery. The question of: how to leave here?Do we leave holding hands or as strangers or with me cuddled in his arms like I am now?“It’s dark enough,” Calum offers.I lock my legs around his waist, he laughs into my neck and starts for the car. My body hums in response to our close contact. I’m grinning as he tucks me into the front seat. Shutting my door, he leans on the car to make a call. I grab his hand through the open window and place a kiss on the inside of his wrist.It feels so surreal. I haven’t fully processed it. Part of me still thinks this is a dream, that he will wake up tomorrow and change his mind. I mean, this is Calum Dissick. That won’t be so surprising.“Sure,” he says into the phone. “We’ll be late. Yeah.” The phone disappears into his pocket. Turning
I should have taken Calum’s suggestion of a family dinner date. As I stare at the sauce in the pan, the colour changed by the black pepper I poured in, my brows wrinkle. This is not good. I touch the spatula to my palm to have a taste. It’s not horrible nor tasty but it’s edible. Turning off the cooker, I grab the plates for dinner from the cabinet.A kick from inside my belly has both hands lowering to cup my bump. I fold the hem of my shirt to reveal my protruding belly. This pregnancy is so much easier with Calum. I have someone to bother when the midnight cravings sweep in. Grabbing the plates and tray, I dish out dinner for Mace and I. Calum will be home past his son’s bedtime, thanks to Scott and the new album the band will be releasing next month.Through the open kitchen door, I try to spy on Mace. But the curly blondie is nowhere in sight. He must be playing with the guitar his dad gifted him on his last birthday. I’m not sure I want him to follow the same path as both of his
My ring is pretty. Too pretty. I stretch my hand in front of me and wiggle my fingers. Calum is all smiles beside me, and the rest of the table have similar grins. We changed tables when everyone arrived. Two bottles of wine sit open on the table. My glass is as full as it was when we shared a toast to my future with Calum. I can’t drink or eat with all the butterflies dancing in my belly.“Now we can call you Mrs Dissick,” Lucas says. The whole table laughs. They are all dressed so formally. No suits for them but matching button-up shirts and tailored slacks. Lucas even wore proper Oxford shoes.Rose smiles, and Taylor mirrors it. They are seated side by side. She glances at Calum, her red hair whooshing as she cocks her head.“You’re about to marry your stepbrother,” she whispers. Her voice is loud and carries round the table. The table falls quiet as nervousness creeps in. She brings her glass to her lips, offers a remorseful grin and gulps the entire content down. “Cheers.” Luca
CALUMI asked Pete’s permission to marry Cathy. I also asked Mum, and she was overly excited to give her blessings. Having both parents blessings builds my anxiety. I pace the entirety of our room, my sweaty palms closing and opening. Cathy is with her friends. Mace is with his grandparents.The phone on the bed rings. I jump. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath and stalk to the bed to pick up the phone. It’s a missed call from Lucas. He didn’t even let it ring. I unlock the phone as a text from him enters. Luc: stop worrying. She will say yes.I roll my eyes at my screen, but a smile tugs the corners of my lips. Cathy has no choice. She’s my wife. Walking back to the front of the mirror, I smoothen my tux and adjust my stripped tie. My curls cling to my scalp, thanks to the excess gel I applied earlier. I massage my clean-shaven jaw, and the same hand slides to the back of my neck.The last time I had to dress formally was when I was Cathy’s music teacher. I spin as the door opens
Dad’s here. Oh my God. Dad is here. Dad. Jason. Rose and Taylor. I’m vibrating with happiness, too stunned to move or react. Calum nudges me with his hip, and I snap out of it. I jump into Dad’s arms, trying to draw all four of them into a hug.Laughter rings out around me as we tear away from the group hug. Dad grins. I smile but it wanes when I notice more of his grey hairs. I pat the greying hairs at his temples and his hand covers mine. He has aged.“You came,” I say to him.“Calum arranged it,” he replies.I hug him again. Only him. My tears wet his shirt as he strokes my lower back. A tug on the hem of my top forces us to break apart.“Mama,” Mace says. Squatting to his height, I offer him a weak smile. He wipes my wet cheeks, and his lips purse. “Mama. No cry.” “No crying for Mama,” I whisper. I hear a chorus of awws and oos, but I don’t look around. Handing Mace to Calum, I take turns hugging my best friends. I hug Jason last, and I hug him the longest. He’s a huge reminder
It’s the last day of the Manchester tour. We can spend a few days before leaving. There are mixed reactions to this. I’m excited to move to another city but reluctant to leave all the memories we created here. Calum doesn’t care as long as we are by his side.“What are you thinking?” Calum asks.His lips brush the space between my boobs. Hooded eyes stare at me, causing a flip in my belly. My lips part, but my reply dies on my tongue as his hairy jaw scratches my nipple. I shiver, and he offers me a wicked grin. On some days, like today, I find it impossible to believe this man was a virgin until me. I run my fingers through the mess of his hair. His fingers dip into my warmth, teasing a little to remind me how we spent our night. I’m quickly relearning his taste.Calum is always super hyped after every performance and if I don’t get away from him as fast as possible, we will fuck in whatever space avai
Voices from outside drag me out of dreamland. I blink fast, staring at the ceiling until my mind reels to a stop. Calum’s side of the bed is empty. Same with Mace’s crib. I roll over to the other end of the bed, smiling at Mace’s empty crib. A knot twists in my belly as the memory of our late night and early morning activities flood my mind. I’m alone in the room, but my cheeks still heat up due to shyness.If Calum is not here, he must have gone to get Mace. Father and son are most likely together, bonding. I grab my phone from the nightstand. There are missed calls from Dad. After a long call with Dad, Jason, Taylor and Rose, I head into the bathroom.The boys are performing today but I’m not. As exciting as yesterday was, I need a break. Mace and I will watch from the VIP section. I wear one of Calum’s big shirts over my skimpy nightwear. Calum can hardly keep his hands to himself and he proved that last night with the numbe
I did great. Not good, great. And everyone who spotted me after the boys performance has not failed to mention that. The feeling of being appreciated and wanted builds in my chest. I rock on my heels, and my butt juts out in a happy dance. I’m happy. But the happiness dwindles when my eyes locate the phone on the bed. Dad isn’t answering his calls. Mace grabs the edge of his crib, his face registering the excitement missing on mine. He still has the headphones Calum had him wearing throughout their performance. I squat in front of his crib. I should put him to sleep but the nerves coursing through my body make it impossible to act or think straight. It feels like I unleashed the beast inside me going on that stage, and I haven’t figured out a way to keep it quiet. If Calum were here, I would maul him, pass off some of that energy to him through sex or a kiss. “Grandpapa Mace isn’t picking,” I tell Mace. My knees meet the ground, and my arms bracket the sides of his crib. He yawns an
CALUMIt’s today. The boys are pumped, and so am I. Cathy and I won’t share the stage but she will perform before me, giving Mace and I a front row view of her performance. But it’s impossible to savour the excitement when she’s this nervous and threatening to bore a hole into the rug with her constant pacing. I stay as close to the door as possible. The more the gap between us, the lesser Cathy’s chances of getting mad. My last attempt at trying to calm her resulted in a shoe thrown at my face. This time I’m not alone. I’m with a reinforcement. The boys were nowhere to be found but Mace had no choice. His arms and feet dangle out of the carrier strapped to my chest. Mum wanted to take him while Cathy performed but I wanted both of us to watch from backstage. He has his noise cancellation headphones so he can’t hear a thing beside the playlists I created for him. “Cathy,” I mutter when she halts before the window. No reply. I clear my throat. “Baby.” Cathy turns on her heels and s
Calum has been acting weird since he left me backstage. I want to believe it’s the talk he had with Dani that’s affecting his mood but she’s smiling. Mace too. I join grandma and grandson when Dani waves me over. Calum grins but makes no other attempt to welcome me. There are only two seats in the room. Usually, he would pull me down to his lap but nothing of the sort happens.I squat in front of Dani. Mace pouts. “Hey.”“Hey,” Mace replies.I giggle. I’ll never tire of hearing him speak. My eyes raise in time to meet Dani’s, and she tries to smile. I’ve been pushing Calum to talk to her but I don’t know if I have the heart to do the same. I’m not upset. I’m over it but don’t have the courage to face her.“How do you like the set up?” Dani asks.“Good,” I reply.They wanted to show us around. The boys prac