Watching Calum talk about his songs is like listening to a kid go on about his favourite toy. He lights up in ways I’ve never seen before and my heart pumps way too fast, way too hard in bliss. He stops talking and my hands sink into the bed.
The hand holding his music note drops to his side. Calum walks away from his desk to kneel before the bed. His blond curls are a shade darker, damp with sweat and excitement. My legs lower to each side of his body. I finger comb his hair and smile.
“You need to stop looking at me like that,” he says. His clammy palms slide up my thighs and I tug on the roots of his hair. “Or I’ll take you to bed now.”
Laughter bubbles out of my lips and my head falls back from the weight of it. He pushes my hand back into his hair. “Who says I don’t want that?”
“Cathy.” On his feet, he crosses his arms and I’m drawn to his biceps, the tattoos. K
I love Calum but he is too stubborn. He spends more time beating himself up on a past that he can’t change instead of working to improve the future. Speaking of the handsome man, Calum pokes my side and I erupt in a fit of giggles. His hand returns to the steering wheel, he throws me a glance and my body thrums. He’s too hot.“What has got you thinking so hard?” he asks.“Nothing.” He rolls his eyes, he does that a lot around me. I end the chat with Tessa and slide my phone into my pocket. Yes, I apologised to her but we are planning something bigger and nicer for Calum. I like that Tessa didn’t ask any questions about our relationship status but I suspect she knows. I wish she asked so I might have gotten advice from a girl older than me. “Just thinking about how much I love you, Cal.” Calum blushes. He slows the car by a deserted street and I hop onto his laps. My fingers catch in his hair. He sighs. “I love you too, Cathy.” I pull his bottom lip between my teeth, release it and k
Dinner is painfully slow. I’m in a bad mood and everyone notices. Calum slides an arm over my thigh but I shake it off. I still feel dirty; cheap.“Cathy, how was school today?” Dani asks from the other side of the table. Dad watches me. He has been on my case since I came downstairs. He’s not the only one. Calum has been trying to get more than one word replies out of me. But the only thing in my head is slut. “Are you okay?”“Yeah—” I stop and shake my head. Putting the fork down, I add, “I don’t feel so good.” Well aware the whole table is listening to us, I stand and grab my plate filled with spaghetti. “I’ll just drop this and go to my room. If…if that’s okay.”Dad and Dani share a glance. They want to say more but they don’t know how. Calum comes to the rescue. He copies my stance, his empty plate in one hand. I don’t want hi
CALUMCathy is teaching me how to finger her. No, I’m not mortified. Learning with Cathy is more fun than I have had in such a long time. One would think my years of fame had taught me a thing or two about women and fingers. But oh, well. Here I am in my room getting schooled on how to make a lady orgasm with only my fingers. “Yeah,” Cathy breathes out. Her head meets my shoulder, she grinds against my fingers moving inside her and stills. “Right there, Cal. Again.” “Again?” I tease. Hell, she’s greedy. Wanting more and more and I want to give it all to her. My heart, my body, my fingers. Everything she demands. Her walls clench around my fingers, I push them higher to rub against the spot I hit earlier. Her eyelids flutter open and she nods. I snicker. She curses, her head falls back and she bounces hard like she would have done on my dick. My dick jerks in protest. It’s missing out on all the attention. But the look on Cathy’s face is worth it. Flushed cheeks, teeth buried into
CALUMThe phone trembles in my hand. I drop it to the study table and replay the short conversation with Tessa in my head. They wanted to talk to me. Sam and Lucas. My former bandmates.Why?Why now?They haven’t been able to reach me because I changed my number and blocked both of them. I don’t want anything to do with Sam or Lucas or the fucking band. I am done with that life, not the singing but the mindless moments; the high, the toxicity and loneliness. Fame changed the three of us. They hurt me. Not once did they visit at rehab. Yes, I fucked up badly. But friends fuck up all the time. And friends also pick each other up.I don’t hate them for casting me off but I hate them for being unable to put down their pride and anger to check on their friend who almost lost his life. We were friends first before we became a band. His brother survived, I might not have.My fingers tap against my temple. Cathy knew. Wai
On Monday morning, I join Dad to school. It’s a silent ride with my earbuds plugged in to avoid him asking questions. Calum should still be at home. I don’t know. I don’t care. Okay, I care.But I don’t understand. Okay, maybe I also do. Calum has every right to be mad for me lying and meddling but I was trying to help. Tessa and I.He shut everyone out after the band broke up and they want their friend back. Not to resume the band but to have him. To be friends again. And they sounded so excited about him meeting this producer in London. London is only three hours away. He could meet up with him and return to me the same day.How can that man not see that we are on his side and we are doing all of these because we love him?I roll up the window as Dad’s car slows in the parking lot. The term will be over in fifty days, then what? He can’t teach forever. There’s more for him out there. His friends are
Lunch break is officially over. For me, it ended with the fight. I grab my bag and hurry outside to join Calum and Amelia but the hallway is empty. I can’t go to Dad’s office or I’ll be in trouble and I can’t let Amelia take the fall alone. It’s my fault.Kicking the air in frustration, I start for Dad’s office and stop halfway there. Bad idea. I’ll be grounded. He hasn’t grounded me in years. The bell saves me from making that mistake. I head back to class and count the minutes until the final bell goes off. Once the closing bell rings out, I bolt out of the class to wait at Amelia’s locker.The hallway soon grows noisy as other students begin to leave their classes. Bored, tired, I bang my head against the locker, torturing myself with a million scenarios on how it could have gone.Someone taps me. Amelia. She grins.Why is she grinning?I throw my arms around her, squeezing
Later turns into four days. By Friday, Calum is still not talking to me and I have had enough with his silent treatment. We fought. Couples fight all the time. And they make up. Kiss too. I want to kiss him. More than that, I want a hug.After the last period for the day, I hug the girls goodbye and race to the teacher’s parking lot. Over the last few days, I have avoided any chat that might lead to them asking about C. It will be Amelia and I secret. So far, she has been doing a good job of steering the conversation each time it comes up.Slowing to catch my breath, I walk the rest of the distance to Calum’s car. He doesn’t show up and when he does, he’s with Miss Gates. I swear he does it to annoy me. Or not. Whatever the case, I don’t like seeing him with her, not when we are having a fight because my brain keeps bringing up these wild conspiracy theories. I have given that man enough space to get over his anger.Calu
“What?” sputters out of my lips. I let go of Calum. My back hits the steering and the honk goes off.We jump and I readjust. Calum laughs. But I don’t find the situation funny. Fine, we didn’t do things the traditional way but we have been on a date. We text. We cuddle. We fuck. We kiss.Oh, my God. Is he joking?“You’re my boyfriend,” I insist. But I don’t touch him.Calum purses his lips. I smack his chest and it provokes more laughter out of him. “Am I?”“Yeah,” I say. “Yeah? Wait, are you not?”His face is solemn. “I don’t think so.”“Why not?”The pounding of my heart is so loud I’m afraid he will hear it. Taking my hand, he plants a kiss on my knuckles, then another on the inside of my wrist.“You didn’t ask me to be your boyfriend,&rdquo
I should have taken Calum’s suggestion of a family dinner date. As I stare at the sauce in the pan, the colour changed by the black pepper I poured in, my brows wrinkle. This is not good. I touch the spatula to my palm to have a taste. It’s not horrible nor tasty but it’s edible. Turning off the cooker, I grab the plates for dinner from the cabinet.A kick from inside my belly has both hands lowering to cup my bump. I fold the hem of my shirt to reveal my protruding belly. This pregnancy is so much easier with Calum. I have someone to bother when the midnight cravings sweep in. Grabbing the plates and tray, I dish out dinner for Mace and I. Calum will be home past his son’s bedtime, thanks to Scott and the new album the band will be releasing next month.Through the open kitchen door, I try to spy on Mace. But the curly blondie is nowhere in sight. He must be playing with the guitar his dad gifted him on his last birthday. I’m not sure I want him to follow the same path as both of his
My ring is pretty. Too pretty. I stretch my hand in front of me and wiggle my fingers. Calum is all smiles beside me, and the rest of the table have similar grins. We changed tables when everyone arrived. Two bottles of wine sit open on the table. My glass is as full as it was when we shared a toast to my future with Calum. I can’t drink or eat with all the butterflies dancing in my belly.“Now we can call you Mrs Dissick,” Lucas says. The whole table laughs. They are all dressed so formally. No suits for them but matching button-up shirts and tailored slacks. Lucas even wore proper Oxford shoes.Rose smiles, and Taylor mirrors it. They are seated side by side. She glances at Calum, her red hair whooshing as she cocks her head.“You’re about to marry your stepbrother,” she whispers. Her voice is loud and carries round the table. The table falls quiet as nervousness creeps in. She brings her glass to her lips, offers a remorseful grin and gulps the entire content down. “Cheers.” Luca
CALUMI asked Pete’s permission to marry Cathy. I also asked Mum, and she was overly excited to give her blessings. Having both parents blessings builds my anxiety. I pace the entirety of our room, my sweaty palms closing and opening. Cathy is with her friends. Mace is with his grandparents.The phone on the bed rings. I jump. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath and stalk to the bed to pick up the phone. It’s a missed call from Lucas. He didn’t even let it ring. I unlock the phone as a text from him enters. Luc: stop worrying. She will say yes.I roll my eyes at my screen, but a smile tugs the corners of my lips. Cathy has no choice. She’s my wife. Walking back to the front of the mirror, I smoothen my tux and adjust my stripped tie. My curls cling to my scalp, thanks to the excess gel I applied earlier. I massage my clean-shaven jaw, and the same hand slides to the back of my neck.The last time I had to dress formally was when I was Cathy’s music teacher. I spin as the door opens
Dad’s here. Oh my God. Dad is here. Dad. Jason. Rose and Taylor. I’m vibrating with happiness, too stunned to move or react. Calum nudges me with his hip, and I snap out of it. I jump into Dad’s arms, trying to draw all four of them into a hug.Laughter rings out around me as we tear away from the group hug. Dad grins. I smile but it wanes when I notice more of his grey hairs. I pat the greying hairs at his temples and his hand covers mine. He has aged.“You came,” I say to him.“Calum arranged it,” he replies.I hug him again. Only him. My tears wet his shirt as he strokes my lower back. A tug on the hem of my top forces us to break apart.“Mama,” Mace says. Squatting to his height, I offer him a weak smile. He wipes my wet cheeks, and his lips purse. “Mama. No cry.” “No crying for Mama,” I whisper. I hear a chorus of awws and oos, but I don’t look around. Handing Mace to Calum, I take turns hugging my best friends. I hug Jason last, and I hug him the longest. He’s a huge reminder
It’s the last day of the Manchester tour. We can spend a few days before leaving. There are mixed reactions to this. I’m excited to move to another city but reluctant to leave all the memories we created here. Calum doesn’t care as long as we are by his side.“What are you thinking?” Calum asks.His lips brush the space between my boobs. Hooded eyes stare at me, causing a flip in my belly. My lips part, but my reply dies on my tongue as his hairy jaw scratches my nipple. I shiver, and he offers me a wicked grin. On some days, like today, I find it impossible to believe this man was a virgin until me. I run my fingers through the mess of his hair. His fingers dip into my warmth, teasing a little to remind me how we spent our night. I’m quickly relearning his taste.Calum is always super hyped after every performance and if I don’t get away from him as fast as possible, we will fuck in whatever space avai
Voices from outside drag me out of dreamland. I blink fast, staring at the ceiling until my mind reels to a stop. Calum’s side of the bed is empty. Same with Mace’s crib. I roll over to the other end of the bed, smiling at Mace’s empty crib. A knot twists in my belly as the memory of our late night and early morning activities flood my mind. I’m alone in the room, but my cheeks still heat up due to shyness.If Calum is not here, he must have gone to get Mace. Father and son are most likely together, bonding. I grab my phone from the nightstand. There are missed calls from Dad. After a long call with Dad, Jason, Taylor and Rose, I head into the bathroom.The boys are performing today but I’m not. As exciting as yesterday was, I need a break. Mace and I will watch from the VIP section. I wear one of Calum’s big shirts over my skimpy nightwear. Calum can hardly keep his hands to himself and he proved that last night with the numbe
I did great. Not good, great. And everyone who spotted me after the boys performance has not failed to mention that. The feeling of being appreciated and wanted builds in my chest. I rock on my heels, and my butt juts out in a happy dance. I’m happy. But the happiness dwindles when my eyes locate the phone on the bed. Dad isn’t answering his calls. Mace grabs the edge of his crib, his face registering the excitement missing on mine. He still has the headphones Calum had him wearing throughout their performance. I squat in front of his crib. I should put him to sleep but the nerves coursing through my body make it impossible to act or think straight. It feels like I unleashed the beast inside me going on that stage, and I haven’t figured out a way to keep it quiet. If Calum were here, I would maul him, pass off some of that energy to him through sex or a kiss. “Grandpapa Mace isn’t picking,” I tell Mace. My knees meet the ground, and my arms bracket the sides of his crib. He yawns an
CALUMIt’s today. The boys are pumped, and so am I. Cathy and I won’t share the stage but she will perform before me, giving Mace and I a front row view of her performance. But it’s impossible to savour the excitement when she’s this nervous and threatening to bore a hole into the rug with her constant pacing. I stay as close to the door as possible. The more the gap between us, the lesser Cathy’s chances of getting mad. My last attempt at trying to calm her resulted in a shoe thrown at my face. This time I’m not alone. I’m with a reinforcement. The boys were nowhere to be found but Mace had no choice. His arms and feet dangle out of the carrier strapped to my chest. Mum wanted to take him while Cathy performed but I wanted both of us to watch from backstage. He has his noise cancellation headphones so he can’t hear a thing beside the playlists I created for him. “Cathy,” I mutter when she halts before the window. No reply. I clear my throat. “Baby.” Cathy turns on her heels and s
Calum has been acting weird since he left me backstage. I want to believe it’s the talk he had with Dani that’s affecting his mood but she’s smiling. Mace too. I join grandma and grandson when Dani waves me over. Calum grins but makes no other attempt to welcome me. There are only two seats in the room. Usually, he would pull me down to his lap but nothing of the sort happens.I squat in front of Dani. Mace pouts. “Hey.”“Hey,” Mace replies.I giggle. I’ll never tire of hearing him speak. My eyes raise in time to meet Dani’s, and she tries to smile. I’ve been pushing Calum to talk to her but I don’t know if I have the heart to do the same. I’m not upset. I’m over it but don’t have the courage to face her.“How do you like the set up?” Dani asks.“Good,” I reply.They wanted to show us around. The boys prac