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I'm Going To Hell Anyway.
Last Updated:
2023-02-03 13:59:33
Dream Shadow🧡
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To Love You Hurts If It Wasn't You, Then, Who?
I feel Tobias place his hands on my shoulders, and gently, he pushes me back, tearing his lips away from mine at the same time. “Before this goes any further, spitfire,” He mutters in a strained tone as if he’s battling to do the right thing by me. “We need to talk about that night.” Licking my lips, I sigh and take a step back, touching the back of my hand against my forehead. Well, that kiss didn't go according to plan now did it?“I’m afraid…” I whisper out loud. “Afraid about what?” Dropping my hand, I look deep into his blazing blue irises, “The truth.” Tobias’s gaze softens, and he nods his head slowly. “I’m afraid to tell you the truth, too, Keri.” He states firmly, which takes me by surprise. “We have wasted so much time being apart - you hating me and me pretending to hate you back.” Fine lines mar my brow line. “What do you mean by pretending? Are you trying to tell me that your being an ass hat was all an act?” I enquire as I attempt to determine what he means by
Last Updated : 2023-02-05To Love You Hurts A Hero.
I settle back down into my chair after making us both a large cup of coffee each. It’s well after 10 p.m. and none of us are ready to leave until the truth has set us free. We both wrap our hands around our mugs, drawing from the warmth of our drinks like it has the power to comfort us. “Sawyer and I are… were," he quickly corrects himself and clears his throat. "Identical twins. The only characteristic that separated us was Sawyer's dimples. Girls gushed over him every time he flashed them with one of his cocky smirks.” He pauses with his gaze burning a hole into the tabletop as his brows crease. “It also turned out that older women weren’t immune to his good looks and charm either, once he turned thirteen. Especially my mother’s best friend.” He snarls while he picks up his mug, and brings it up to his lips. “It’s hot…” I exclaim, watching in horror as he takes a large sip of his scolding coffee. As the hot liquid travels down his throat, he hisses and slams the mug back down
Last Updated : 2023-02-05To Love You Hurts Loving You Hurt Like Hell.
TOBIAS: I adore the woman that Keri has matured into as I stare at her in awe from across the table. I am aware that it cannot be easy for her to listen to my truths, and yet she remains by my side, offering me solace with her strength. Surprisingly, speaking with her is the easiest thing I've ever done in my entire existence. The words seem to flow effortlessly out of my mouth, and I do not feel the need to conceal or pretend that talking to her does not affect me emotionally. I don't consider myself to be less of a man, as my tears of heartache tarnish my features. If anything, I feel more liberated, and I seriously regret not having told her sooner. I have squandered so much time between us, and that’s solely on me because I was afraid to lose her indefinitely. “Do you truly believe that it was Sawyer with him that night?” My beautifully strong-willed wife asks me. I can sense her anguish slowly consuming her, and I wish I could take it all away. I wish I could era
Last Updated : 2023-02-06To Love You Hurts You And Me.
Taking the key out of my ignition, I stare straight ahead at the house that has given me many memories to cherish and many more to loathe. Showing up like this, unannounced and uninvited to someone's place of residency, is so unlike me. But after hearing everything that Tobias had to say last night, I believe it is my duty to deliver an exceptional message to Janice from the branches of my heart. This entire time, I have been mad and holding a grudge against the wrong person. My jaw tightens as I toss the car keys into my bag, open the squeaky-as-hell door that could have a career in frightening movie sound effects, and exit my car while trying not to allow my anxieties to get the best of me and cause me to drive away. Tucking my hair behind my ears, I slide my bag over my shoulder and close my door, then I slowly make the journey to the top of the stairs that leads me to the front door of hell itself. I reach the top of the flight of stairs, and as I extend my hand, a blast o
Last Updated : 2023-02-07To Love You Hurts Bernadette Is More Fitting.
“I’m not sorry,” I exclaim abruptly, observing as Janice lifts her hand to touch her blushing cheek, which bears the outline of my hand on her pale skin.She glares back at me with her mouth forming an O-like shape, her blue irises light up with rage.“How dare you come into my house and put your hands on me!” She shrieks with wide eyes, disgusted by my actions. “I will have you arrested for assault.”I snicker with my brows drawing together as I look at her in a whole new light.— She can’t be serious right now? — I think to myself.But I’ll call her bluff, it’s not like I have anything to lose anyway.“Go on then,” I spit out as I pull my phone out of my bag and hand it to her. “I think you should also inform the authorities about the officer and judge you paid off regarding my brother and Sawyer’s death while you have them on the phone. I’m also pretty adamant that they’ll be genuinely interested to hear all about your good old friend Eileen. Who sexually assaulted then pimped your
Last Updated : 2023-02-09To Love You Hurts Like A Forbidden Love Letter.
All day, my mind has been a shambles. I have repeatedly replayed the conversations I had with Janice and Bernadette in my head, wishing I had the confidence to tell them where to go. I should have slapped Janice harder in the face so that my handprint would remain on her cheek for many days and cause her to remember me every time she looked in the mirror. But that's not who I am. Furthermore, I want to cry for Tobias's brother, Sawyer, whose existence I was unaware of until last night. Two lives were lost that night, but it appears that only one was mourned, and the other was merely a dirty secret that had to be concealed. They are the stains that ruin the lives of innocent people trying to make something out of nothing. I grit my teeth, irritated at the way Janice makes me feel. My heart has never felt so heavy with grief, yet simultaneously liberated from the shackles of torment and lies. It should confuse me, but my heart desires Tobias, so it doesn't. It pains me to know t
Last Updated : 2023-02-13To Love You Hurts Am I Interrupting?
TOBIAS: I walk out of the bakery as quickly as I can. That conversation didn’t go as I planned, and I somehow managed to fuck everything up, like I always do. Keri has been through hell and I can’t keep dragging her through it because of my demons. I didn’t want to believe in love. Never wanted it. I can’t see the practical value and, to be completely honest, I was doing just fine without it. Until I went back into my past and started to look for Keri. My mind told me I didn’t need her, but my heart was telling me the opposite. Her smile, her strength, her intelligence, and her compassion. I missed it all. Even her stubbornness and hard-headedness with that quick tongue of hers. She fills the part of my soul I always thought would remain empty. Keri heals the scars I bear and those I never knew existed. It’s not that I didn’t want to believe in love. I’ve just subconsciously been saving it all for her. But my love comes at a price. There is a secret she isn’t aware o
Last Updated : 2023-02-21To Love You Hurts I Need Money.
TOBIAS: What the hell is Keri doing showing up at my office at this time of the night? I think to myself, needing to stop Keri from leaving without giving her an explanation of the shit show she just walked in on. As Keri takes the elevator, I take the stairs, running down them two at a time. I have to stop her and convince her that what she walked in on was Bernadette trying her best to seduce me. I had given her strict orders to go home once she was done at the bakery, and yet, I can’t suppress the feeling enough that she must have gone home to change because she showed up in a trench coat with red stilettos and a small box in her hand. Did she bring treats from her bakery? I don’t deserve her kindness. Fuck… I don’t deserve her altogether! My hands curl into fists as I replay what just happened. I put myself in Keri’s shoes; she has every right to think the worst of me. It’s not like I have been honest with her from the get-go and if I had walked into the bakery unannounce
Last Updated : 2023-02-22
Latest chapter
To Love You Hurts Are You Happy?
EPILOGUE: TOBIAS:The waves fiercely crash against the shoreline behind us as the sun rays beam upon us.“I do.”Tears of joy brim my eyes as she utters two small words that mean everything and so much more to me. She is officially mine. Again. This time by choice.“You may now kiss the bri-” Before the priest finishes his sentence, I reach for my wife, crushing my lips against hers as I seal the deal between us. Keri smiles against my lips. “How does it feel to be a married woman by choice, baby?”“Perfect. How does it feel to be married and a father of twins?” She has a mischievous glint lining her eyes.“Like the lost pieces to my life have finally pieced themselves back together,” I reply honestly.I turn around and look at my children sitting beside one another with a large grin on their faces as they sit on the white chairs in the sand. Sawyer is holding a small bouquet of flowers, and Ryan, an empty small pillow that not long ago held our wedding rings. My gaze shifts further i
To Love You Hurts Let Me Explain.
TOBIAS:A persistent knock raps on the timber door, catching me off guard as I flip my steak over on the grill. Turning the BBQ off, I move my steak to the side, taking it off the heat so it won’t overcook. The banging on the door starts again, and my strides become larger until I reach the door and yank it open.“Why the fuck do you continue to bang on my-” The words fall from my lips when my gaze collides with Keris'.What the fuck is she doing here?How did she know I was here?Fuck… Fuck… Fuck…“Keri, I… Uh…”Slap!Before I can finish my sentence, her palm collides with the side of my face. Lifting my hand, I cradle my cheek, dampening the stinging sensation spreading across it. She looks pissed off. Like she could murder me, and I don’t blame her.“So, it’s true. You’ve been here for two months?” She hisses, enraged to find me here. In the same country and not behind bars like I should be.“Yes.” I state firmly, gritting my teeth.“You bastard!” She cries out, shaking her head. “
To Love You Hurts The Lake House.
THREE MONTHS LATER:“We need to reschedule today's’ meeting,” Mel looks up at me from her desk, sounding a little strange. “I’m not feeling well, and I need to go over the new contract Adem sent through for a new deal he wants to cut with us. I aim to be on my A-game before facing him.”“I can get Davis to come in and go over it with you? Two sets of eyes are better than one, and unfortunately, I’m still trying to get up to speed with everything going on as it is.”“Davis is unavailable today. He is at the hospital with Ava.”I know I shouldn’t ask, and I don't understand why I give a rat’s ass about her after all the grief she has caused me in the past, but I can’t help myself. “What’s wrong with my sister?” My voice sounds harsher than I had intended.Gnawing on her inner cheek, Mels’ brows furrow as she raises her gaze to meet mine. “She was standing on a chair, screwing in a light bulb when their oldest girl came running into the living room, accidentally colliding with the chair.
To Love You Hurts The Guilt.
“You need to stop being so hard on yourself, Keri,” El speaks softly, resting a gentle hand on my shoulder. “Under the circumstances, you have done a remarkable job with the twins, and one day, they will eventually realise that you have always had their best interest at heart. If there is one thing I know for certain, it’s that being a parent is a learning process, too. After you have given birth, you are not handed a parenting manual. You learn as you grow together as a family; sometimes, the road we pave isn’t easy. But it sure as hell is fulfilling when you reach the end of that bumpy road.”I take a moment to let her words sink in and wipe my eyes dry as I nod my head; agreeing with her. “You’re right,” I whisper, patting her hand that remains on my shoulder. “It’s been four years now, and I am still as clueless as I was yesterday on how to parent my children correctly.”“Everything that has transpired into this mess with Tobias and Coach Matty, isn’t your fault. I need you to hea
To Love You Hurts It's Your Fault.
As the front door to Kip and Elz home opens, I glance at Officer Marcus and give him a small smile that falls short of reaching my eyes – a silent expression of gratitude for his safe escort here. He offers me a brief nod, pivots on his heel, and walks away without uttering a single word.“Oh, my gawds, Keri!” El screeches as she yanks the door wide open and pulls me into her loving embrace.I lean into her, tears streaming down my face as my heart shatters further. I feel an overwhelming urge to express my emotions loudly. To express my frustration and lament that the universe and Gods have conspired against my happiness. Yet, I find myself without that feeling. I search within my soul to find my strength and muster the bravery to stand before the twins as they come rushing towards me.“Mummy, mummy… we missed you last night.” They say in unison as they fling their arms around me.El rubs my back as she gently pulls away from our embrace. Our eyes collide, and she utters the words, ‘
To Love You Hurts A Million Years And One Day.
I shut my eyes, attuned to the strong and rhythmic pulse of Tobias’ heart, my body half entwined with his. His fingers glide softly up and down my spine as he lies on his back while his gaze remains fixed on the ceiling. We haven't slept; we've only been exploring each other's bodies on an intimate level, compensating for lost moments and creating memories that will linger for years ahead. I press my face against his chest, a deep sigh escaping my swollen lips as I cling to him with all my strength. I long for a chance where time could freeze, allowing us to savor the precious last moments that Kip has generously given us. The sun has risen, birds are chirping, and early morning traffic for churchgoers echoes through the room. There is so much I wish to say to Tobias, but I don’t want to ruin this moment. Though we showed each other how we felt about one another on a deeper level, using our bodies to express ourselves, I still feel like there is so much unsaid between us.“I want you
To Love You Hurts Use Me For Your Pleasure.
TOBIAS:The soft caress of her lips is like a lifeline I desperately try to cling to. Warm. Soft. Sensual.I hate to think that this could be the last time I get to feel her like this as she passionately tries to kiss away my deepest and darkest fears. I’ll love her until my dying breath. It’s always been her, and it always will be. I am undeserving of her love, her warmth, and time.“Don’t speak… Just feel, Tobias. Use me for pleasure.”“Don’t say that,” I murmur, pulling away from our kiss. My gaze travels down her body, and she has no idea what the vision of seeing her in my clothes does to me.“I’m serious, Tobias. If now is all we have together. I want you to take what you need from me.”Lowering my pants down my hips, my cock springs free, and I watch through half-lidded eyes as she licks her lips like a starved little kitten looking for its next meal. She lowers herself onto her knees, gazing up at me, with the moonlight accentuating her natural beauty. I lean against the glass
To Love You Hurts Don't Leave Us.
I slowly feel myself surfacing from the deep slumber that embraced me. Reaching across the bed, I search for the twins, and when I am met with air, I jolt awake in a frenzy as last night’s terror claws at my chest. I open my eyes, and my vision slowly adjusts in the darkness.“Tobias, is that you?” I whisper, squinting towards the far corner of a room that isn’t mine.Sitting in an armchair with the moonlight illuminating the room, Tobias is leaning forward with a bottle of Whiskey dangling between his wide-spread legs. He stares down at the bottle, tilting his head to the side as he swirls the amber-coloured liquid at the bottom.“Go back to sleep, baby.” He mutters in a soft tone, raising his head to meet my gaze. “It’s still early, and you need your rest.”I notice that he’s wearing nothing but a black pair of satin pajama pants. His hair looks damp as if he’s just stepped out of a shower, and the woody scent of his body wash faintly lingers in the air.“Have you been sitting in th
To Love You Hurts Utterly Useless.
TOBIAS:My sedan comes to a screeching halt as I pull into Mattys’ driveway. Pulling the handbrake up, I don’t bother killing the engine and push the door open. Exiting the vehicle without slamming the door shut behind me, I race up the stairs, giving Link the death stare of a lifetime.“Where the fuck is she?” I growl, curling my hands into tight balls at my sides. Rage licks my flesh, setting every inch of it on fire. Without uttering a single word, he points to the door, indicating that she is inside. I bite down on my molars and shove my finger in his face. “You are fucking fired!” I bark in a breathy and murderous tone.So fucking fired!I vividly hear movement inside the house, like there is a struggle, followed by a muffled whimper and I spring into action, realising that my Keri could be in grave danger. I take one step back from the door and I kick it in. Link rushes inside, and my blood turns to ice when I see Keri pressed up against the wall with Matty trying to rip her pan
