Chapter 3

I am not ready for something like this. My mind and heart are not ready to see him!

Why are you here?!? Just why?!!

I shouldn't have asked Nikolai to join me. Ahhh! I just want to help him be on good terms with Ysekiel, but I swear I will not help you again!

"Hi"

His voice, which I haven't heard for a long time, makes me feel nostalgic.

 It's been a while. I never would have thought that I would meet him this early. I swallowed my saliva and tried to smile.

"Hi"

That is the only thing I could say while trying not to stutter. I can't describe what I am feeling right now.

It is mixed hatred because he killed me, anger for him acting as if I am nobody to him and sadness for the feelings that he never gave me back. I don't know.

 I just don't freaking know! This pain is enough. I can't handle it anymore.

He sits right next to Nikolai, in front of mine. I laughed in my mind.

Would he believe me if I said he would kill me someday? Or maybe he already knew it because he already had plans in mind.

I was plotting the perfect time and moment to kill me. I just don't know how to react, say, or even think at this moment.

"So, why are you here?" Seki asked with a grin on her face. I told her yesterday that I do not love Francis anymore. It seems like she doesn't believe me.

"To visit you. I feel like I missed you so much that I would die if I didn't see you today." I faked a smile and heard her laugh. She sits right next to me, facing Nikolai.

"What would you like? My treat," Nikolai said, and Ysekiel giggled. She smiled while slightly laughing.

 "No worries, it's on me," she replied.

Now he is dead silent. Tchh, good for you.

I looked at the menu again and tried to cover my face with it so I couldn't see his face. Although I didn't look at him in the first place!

Who would even want to look at the face of someone who will kill you in the future?

 I suddenly feel scared about the thought of it. As I recall correctly, this scene also happened in the past, but back then, I didn't ask Nikolai to join me here.

We did dine together, but what did I do back then? I can't remember...

"Kianna~ hey girl, I've been calling you countless times already. Are you like that because you are thinking of-" I cut her words as I glare at her.

"Who are you talking about? Mind sharing it with us?" Nikolai jokingly said.

"No thanks," I answered back.

We ordered it and waited for it to be delivered. The moment here seems to run so slowly. We just stopped talking for a couple of minutes, but the silence was still suffocating!

Because of that, I just tried to remember what happened last time.

I also used that car. and simply got here with no problems. Maybe it's because of that. The reason I saw Nikolai is because I came late. If I hadn't helped the old lady, I would probably be here much earlier.

But then, Francis is also there. That means they do have a business together.

Although I don't quite understand why they join us to dine, it's probably either Seki's or Nikolai's fault.

Whoever might be the cause of that, what I should pay attention to right now is the fact that what happened in the past may still happen today or in the future!

"Ma'am Ysekiel, we need you in the kitchen," the staff member said while bowing his head.

We looked at each other, and then she replied.

"Sure, I'm coming."

She stood up, and so did Nikolai.

She questioningly looked at him, and he answered. "I might be able to provide help."

Seki was about to say something, but then he said. "I insist"

She didn't say anything and said farewell to me. They were now gone, and I realized too late that I was left alone with Francis.

It was so weird. I just want to leave and go! I thought of myself in the past as someone who made an effort to start a conversation with him.

Before, the two of them also left. As I remember, back then, I cheerfully asked him various things.

But what he says is a short yes, and I don't know. It's as if he doesn't want to have any conversation with me.

I looked down and quietly recalled my bitter past.

Why did I even like him in the first place?

 Yes, I know that we were close in middle school and so on, but I don't quite recall the moment I started liking him.

He is smart, that's a truth no one can deny. Francis is someone who shows me kindness and love, but as a friend and with non-blood-related siblings.

He saw me as his sister. I saw him as a brother. Things were just like that at first, yet when it comes to this, he acts as if I'm someone with whom he didn't share a drink.

Someone who he didn't talk to when he needed ears to listen to his complaints.

It's as if I'm not someone who he once cherished and loved as his sister. Fuck that brother-sister thing. That's all in the past. Don't cry over spilled milk.

He killed you! Remember that!

Not because you tried to kill his fiancé, he would have the reason to kill you as if you were not someone important to him.

He is at fault too! He shouldn't have treated you like that if he hadn't done it till the end!

Kianna, be brave.

You promised. Right?

You promised that you would not love him. Don't break it. Do not repeat the mistake that leads to death. Not all men deserve the love you had.

He throws your feelings away. He isn't worthy of your love. He isn't.

"I hate you. I really do."

I whispered mindlessly, never knowing that my words would be heard and would start to change the flow of everything.

"Ki-"

 I didn't hear what Francis was about to say because, at that moment, Seki and Nikolai got back.

The food was also delivered.

I didn't utter any more words as we started to eat. Seki surely did realize that something was off; that's why she didn't pry on the things I did.

We finished eating, and only the two of them were having a conversation. I quietly stood up and said that I had something to do.

They let me leave and bid me farewell.

Walking out of the restaurant, I walked and walked. I don't know where I will go or where I will be. All I want is to be alone. To be far from there. Far from him.

I stopped and realized that I was in the church. The tall tree with a round bench around it is still there.

I remember that, in the past, we both went there to kill some time since it's quiet out there. The aura is nice, and the wind is fresh.

Things may always be the same, but not the way they used to be.

Just like this tree, it might still be here, but things are not the same as they were before.

Things do change, and so do people. Nothing stays the same as it used to be. Because as time passed, everything changed. Even if it is small or big.

It will change.

Even if you want to or not, things will continue to change.

That is because it will not always be up to you.