Taylor Still Retelling StoryThe waitress returns with our beers, we place our meal orders and request two more beers. Quickly we return our attention to each other. He asks about my trip. I tell him more about Jackson and Kennedy. I talk about the long talks, the neighborhood party, and meeting his sister. As the waitress delivers the bill and clears the table, I realize I talked about me the entire meal. I’m caught off guard by the sadness quickly washing over me. It’s time for me to return home. Alone.“I don’t want to be alone.” The words jump out of my mouth before I restrain them. My hands leap to cover my mouth. This isn’t me; I’m not this woman. I can’t even blame it on too many drinks. I don’t do one-night stands with strangers.Placing his hand around my wrist, Jorge pulls my right hand from my face. “My place is nearby.” There is no smile on his face, as I allow my eyes to meet his. His look is serious. I try to decipher his intentions.As much as I want to keep the evening
Taylor Continues Retelling Her StoryI search Jorge’s face for clues as John continues his profane-laced tirade in the hallway. Official assistance? Domestic dispute? I inhale a deep calming breath, but before I can ask Jorge about the call, we hear a neighbor announce to John he has phoned the police. John spews profanities and threats before we hear the neighbor slam his door closed.Staring into his chocolate eyes, I will Jorge to speak. My erratic breathing seems too loud, and words fail me. I can’t explain John’s actions. I tuck my trembling hands into my shorts pockets. I need to know who was on his phone. I search their brown depths for a clue.“Please.” I beg, my voice faint and quivering.Jorge closes the bathroom door before locking it. He pulls me snug to his chest.“My roommate Jake is on the Chicago PD. He is on duty and headed here now.” I suck in a sharp breath. “The man outside your door is not about to calm down and leave until you let him in.” Jorge raises my chin to
Taylor Continues Retelling Her StoryI wave them off as I head to the kitchen for another water. Jorge approaches as I finish a long refreshing drink from the bottle.“Can they search your apartment?” Acknowledging the question forming upon my lips, he continues, “They want to search for drugs that John may have hidden here. They believe he may have a stash and that is why he is so frantic about entering the apartment.” Placing a finger upon my lips to silence me, he finishes, “They will not hold you responsible if they find drugs. They only want to remove them to keep you safe.”I can’t speak. The mere mention that drugs might hide in my presence upsets me. I witness the destruction they reek on the students and their families every day at school. Congenital disabilities, learning disabilities, homelessness, foster care, and addiction to drugs affect many of my middle school students. The thought of such a vile substance in my apartment cripples me. I simply nod in agreement to the se
TaylorI meet Jorge’s eyes. In them I see his worry John physically abused me. “No, I feared he might, but he never crossed that line.” I reach for his hand, grasping it between my two, and I continue, “I returned from a trip to Washington D.C. with my students. I found women in bed with him. The apartment was a disaster. Drugs, used condoms, and trash were everywhere. That’s when I threw him out and changed the locks.” Jorge squeezes my hands. “We were over the minute I moved us to Chicago. He found work in a bar. He partied too much. He stayed out, sometimes overnight. We were two roommates, nothing more. It wasn’t a healthy relationship. I did what I had to, to protect myself. I should have found the strength to end it years ago. I just couldn’t bear the thought of being alone.”“But you were alone,” Jorge points out. “You cut ties with friends; you never went out, you worked, and cowered at home alone.”Ouch! The truth hurts.“I thought he was finally out of my life.” I whisper.“
Taylor Continues Retelling Her StoryI squint, assessing the seriousness of his question. “I lived with my grandmother on a farm in rural Missouri,” I begin. “My mom was in-and-out of my life from the age of four. I realized my education was my only way to escape my trailer-trash life. Cheerleading and straight A’s allowed me to attend college.”“I don’t see you as a goody-goody, snobby cheerleader,” he states.“I wasn’t. I made the grades with little effort, and cheerleading opened more scholarship money for me. Don’t get me wrong, I was good at it, but I lived three very different lives.” I pause, not believing I’m about to share this. I find Jorge too easy to talk to. “In school, I focused. I contributed. As a cheerleader, I was loud, energetic, and creative.” I sit up and sip from my water bottle.“And the third Taylor, what was she like?” Jorge prompts me to continue.Placing my head back on the pillow, I explain, “I partied. A lot. Weeknights and weekends. Alcohol turns off my an
TaylorI rise from bed to an empty house. I glance at my phone to see it’s 9:15 a.m. It’s earlier than expected. I tidy up in my bathroom before fixing my toast. On the kitchen island, I find the list Kennedy and I created yesterday. I plan to make my friends’ lives easier while I live here. I plan to clean, shop, and run errands. Jackson claims he has no items for me to help with. Kennedy asks for my help with research on fertility, surrogacy, and a few phone calls. I start my to do list with a phone call.“Thank you for calling The Blue Agency. How may I assist you?” A friendly, female voice greets.“I have questions regarding my coverage,” I respond. I lightly cross off item number two on my list. Pretending to be Kennedy, I give details so the agent may pull up the policy under Jackson’s name through his employer. I ask if fertility treatments are covered and make a note on my list.“Is a surrogate covered?” I ask. At my question, the insurance woman asks me many questions. “Am I
Taylor“I popped the popcorn to nibble on while watching the first movie. I moved to the ice-cream after seven, when I couldn’t reach you by text,” I explain. Jackson apologizes, stating, “There was a crisis at the store. I stayed until everything improved, instead of heading home to call and email the store every few minutes.”His white shirt is filthy. I see finger trails from rubbing his dirty hands on the rib area. I assume the blue ovals are detergent or liquid soap. He has a torn left knee in his black slacks. His dress shoes are dusty and scuffed. Whatever it was, it must have been a very messy crisis.“you should go change while I prepare you some dinner,” I encourage.“I can fix my own sandwich,” he states. “I have nothing else to do,” I inform.He drags himself up the stairs as I remain in the kitchen. While butter melts on the griddle, I assemble a ham and cheese sandwich. When the butter hisses, I place the bread in the pan. I quickly grab a fork to assist with flipping t
TaylorJackson and I search for words to say.What?Why?How?What now?Are the only words I can come up with. Jackson stands from his chair, wrapping his wife in an embrace. I feel as I am trespassing witnessing this tender moment. “So, we find another way,” I suggest. “We make a new plan. We’re not giving up - this is just a speed bump.” I fight the urge to pace and the urge to hit or throw something. I cannot let her give up. “Ken,” I carefully address her. “Do you have anything in your notebook for this scenario?”I witness my words registering on Kennedy’s face. She pulls away from Jackson, her hands darting for her baby planning notebook. Jackson mouths ‘thank you’ over her shoulder.Kennedy frantically flips page after page, seeking the exact list. She turns more than ten pages in her notebook before finding the information she wants. “Ah-ha!” She shouts, tossing the open notebook in the center of the table. ‘Egg Donor’ heads the page in large bold writing.“I’ll do it!” I excl
TaylorMy mind scrambles for words.Ready?Ready for what?Our first kiss was everything I fantasized about this past year and then some.Is he ready to sleep together?I’m not sure I am ready for that tonight.Our kiss proves our electric passion for each other. I stand in front of him, as he’s seated on his bed; I move between his knees.“I’m ready to explore us too, but I want to go slow.” I swallow, my mouth suddenly very dry. “I need to go slow. We have too much on the line to jump into this.”Jackson nods his understanding.To show my desire for him, I place feather-light kisses on his jaw. He places his hands on each side of my face, guiding my lips to his. This kiss is hotter than the first. Our hands explore arms, shoulders, ribs, hips, and chests.I lift my legs to straddle his lap, aligning my pelvis with his. The heat from his cock exquisitely flows to my core. His hands on my hips grind me into him, and I moan. I continue the pressure as he moves his mouth to my jaw, then
Two Years LaterTaylor“What time is it?” I ask the room.“Twenty minutes after the last time you asked,” Martha teases.“We have five minutes,” Elizabeth announces to everyone. “Taylor, might I have a moment?” She inquires, escorting me onto the balcony for a modicum of privacy. I thought my nerves had reached a pinnacle; a private chat with Elizabeth escalates them even higher. Gerald and Elizabeth arrived with us three days ago to assist with the preparations and the twins. We shopped, dined, and even swam.What will she discuss now, with less than five minutes until we start?Why didn’t she talk to me before now?“You look beautiful, dear,” Elizabeth says. “For many years now, Gerald and I have thought of you as our daughter. Today, you make that official.” She dabs a tissue to the corner of each eye, not wanting her tears to ruin her makeup. “You brought our son back into our lives, you gave us two precious grandchildren, and today you give us the happiness and future we always d
Taylor “Taylor!” Jackson summons loudly from upstairs the next evening.I recap my water bottle before attempting the epic struggle that is rising from the sofa post-cesarean. I peek at the sleeping twins before I slowly and painfully ascend the fourteen stairs from the living room to the second floor. Jackson wouldn’t require me to trudge upstairs if it wasn’t important. I pass the bathroom doorway as it is dark inside. The master bedroom door is open, but no lights are on. I notice light entering the hallway from the nursery. I place my hand on the door frame for support.Jackson sits on his knees at the open nursery closet door. I see no spurting blood, signaling a need to yell at me.“What’s so important I had to climb the stairs?” I immediately regret my icy tone.Jackson turns, rising to face me. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t think. I just found the bag and reacted. Are you okay? Want to sit in the rocker? I should have brought it down to you.”I regret my words even more now seeing t
TaylorGroup Session at Dr. Wilson’s OfficeMonday, May 22 “Thank you for securing a sitter and meeting in my office today,” Dr. Wilson greets. “I’ve asked a colleague to join us today. This is Dr. Jacobs.”“Dr. Jacobs, please meet Jackson Hayes and Taylor Taft.” After shaking hands, we take our chairs.“Are you leaving your practice or passing us off?” I question.Why else would she have another professional sit in on our session?“Our topic of today’s session is delicate. I recently shared a situation with Dr. Jacobs. Through our discussion, we decided we should both be present today.” Dr. Wilson assumes her usual chair, pulls out a manila file folder, and begins. “As you are both aware, I met with the two of you and Kennedy individually throughout the surrogacy process. I did not share items from one session with the others, as privacy is vital in the therapy journey.” She smiles at both of us before continuing. “The two of you shared a similar issue with me in your sessions. I ha
TaylorThe doorbell wakes me from my nap. Who could it be on a Wednesday? I slowly rise from the sofa and glance at the sleeping twins in their nearby bassinets on my way to the front door. Through the peephole, I spy Dr. Wilson.Did I forget an appointment?“Hello,” I greet. “Taylor.” Dr. Wilson wraps me in a gentle hug. “I’m so sorry. I read about Kennedy’s passing in the paper. May I come in?”I’m frozen in place. Seeing Dr. Wilson away from her office catches me off guard. She is here to talk about Kennedy’s death.I’m not strong enough to work through this now with her.“Taylor,” Dr. Wilson prompts. “If this is a bad time, I can come back.”“No!” I announce louder than needed. “Come in. I just woke up, so I am a little out of it,” I confess, excusing my actions.“Resting when the twins rest is important,” Dr. Wilson states. “How have you been feeling?” She seats herself on the end of the sofa nearest the still sleeping babies.“Overwhelmed, but I’m sure all new mothers experience
TaylorIt’s Sunday morning, Jackson’s second day back at work. Elizabeth and Gerald are still in town, thank goodness. I climb from bed a bit easier this morning, my pain lessens with each passing day. I peek into the living room to ensure Elizabeth and Gerald are with the twins before I slip into the restroom. I enjoy a few extra minutes to freshen up; then stride toward the kitchen in search of breakfast. My appetite grows every day. I’m told it’s because I need extra energy for nursing.“Good morning,” Gerald greets from the sofa as I walk by.I return his greeting, noting he holds both twins in his lap. I climb upon a kitchen stool.“How’d you sleep last night?” Elizabeth asks, sliding a plate of sausage and tater tots my way. As I rise, she pushes my shoulder down and fetches the ketchup for me.I am very glad they put everything on hold to help Jackson with the funeral arrangements and me with the twins, but eventually I need to do everything on my own. She pampers me too much; i
Taylor“Did you halt the mail delivery while you were in the hospital?” Gerald inquires.My eyes widen. We should have, but we did not.“I’ll walk Nya to the mailbox and back,” Elizabeth offers quickly. “You need to rest and Gerald, you need to sit still so the twins can nap,” she teases her husband.When they return, Elizabeth releases Nya from her leash. She immediately darts to Gerald’s feet. She stands on her hind legs to ensure the twins are safe in his care. Next, she whines at the side of the sofa, wanting me to lift her to my lap. This simple task requires planning on my part. One cannot simply bend over and pick up an eight-pound puppy two days after a C-section. As I cuddle and coo Nya on the sofa, Elizabeth uses kitchen scissors to open a small package. She asks me if she should look inside or wait for Jackson. My eyes remain on Nya as I give Elizabeth permission to open it.Sensing a change in her mood, Nya hops from the sofa to join her at the kitchen island. My eyes foll
TaylorI behave like a perfect patient, and the doctor releases me on Sunday afternoon. As we round the corner, Jackson’s home comes into view. A large sign with balloons attached graces the front lawn, welcoming Carter and Kennedy home.“No, no, no,” Jackson chants. “I told Madison not to tell the neighbors. I can’t handle a party. This is not a time to party.” It might be easy to let his words upset me. The twins are to be celebrated. They are tiny, precious, bundle of joys. However, I completely understand Jackson’s need for privacy. The passing of his wife at the same time his twins are born takes its toll. “I will thank everyone for coming and send them on their way,” I offer. “I’ll fake fatigue.” Not that it would be much of a stretch. I’m exhausted; the thought of relaxing on the sofa or in my bed is my only goal.As Jackson pulls the Mustang into the garage, Gerald and Elizabeth park behind it in the driveway. Jackson opens my door for me and extends his arm to assist me to s
TaylorEmotions somewhat in check, Jackson continues. “Taylor opened her door then yelled to wake me up. I got out and went to help Kennedy. Taylor’s water broke, so the EMTs drove the two of us here, while the fire department extricated Kennedy.” At his mother’s audible gasp, Jackson pauses, and Gerald reaches for his wife. “Taylor was in active labor when Kennedy arrived at the hospital. The babies were in distress, so she was prepped for a C-section. When Taylor went to recovery and the twins to the nursery, I signed forms for Kennedy to have surgery to stop her internal bleeding.” Jackson releases my hand and stands. “Taylor and the twins got settled here while Kennedy had a second surgery.”“It was a long emotional night,” I add, hoping to give Jackson some support in this emotionally tragic story.“This morning, Taylor decided she needed to go down. She paged nurses, insisting they wheel her down to see Kennedy. She didn’t take no for an answer.” Jackson’s Adam’s apple visibly bo