-12- James

“You heard that, did you?” Tony asked, looking sheepish, and James nodded, leaning closer towards his friend.

“Yes, I did. Now tell me what it meant,” he insisted. Worry ate at James; did he burden them too much with his problems? Which of them could have a problem with him? He glared at Tony, who was hesitant to discuss it.

“Swear you won’t tell anyone! Hell, she doesn’t even know that I know,” Tony explained, and James nodded even more confused. Who could it be? Lacy or Sandy? He had thought he was on good terms with both of them; they both seemed excited to have him back in town. Tony took a deep breath and let it out. “It’s Lily. She can’t stand your guts,” he admitted.

“The human?” James asked with a scoff, yet irritated by the mix of feelings he felt. One part was relieved it wasn’t Lacy or Sandy because he couldn’t care less if the human didn’t like him while the other was curious and bothered by the idea of her disliking him.

“Don’t call my sister that! She has a name, so use it,” Tony shot at him, looking so angry that it surprised James. Did he really consider that human to be as much a sister to him as Lacy?

“Alright... sorry, man,” he apologized. “So why does Lily hate my guts? I just met her a few days ago,” he asked, finishing his beer. Tony shrugged, his anger disappearing as quickly as it came.

“I don’t know. I just know she does,” he told James. “She gets this look every time she sees you. The look someone gets when they just stepped into a pile of crap,” he explained. James frowned, growing more troubled by the fact she didn’t like him. He couldn’t figure out why it bothered him so much; lots of people didn’t like him. In fact, he could only think of a handful of people who did like him. His feelings about Lily’s dislike must be because he didn’t know the reason, he decided.

After an hour, James had sorted through all the scents in the bar. “Nothing,” he declared with frustration, bringing his fist hard against the table, making it wobble. Tony frowned and shot a glance around the bar.

“It’s Friday night and nearly the entire pack has passed through here. Are you sure you didn’t miss anyone?” Tony asked, and James glared at him.

“Of course I didn’t miss anyone Tony,” he answered, feeling a little insulted and Tony held up his hands in signs of surrender, apologizing. James took a deep breath to rein back in his anger. “Sorry, Tony, I didn’t mean to snap like that. This narrows down our traitor to a kid, a golden oldie, or a new parent. They’re the only members who haven’t been here already minus the alpha and beta,” James finished and Tony looked skeptical.

“Yeah, you’re right, but it seems unlikely on all accounts unless our traitor is only passing along information while another werewolf commits the crimes.” Tony replied, and James nodded. That would mean two werewolves were involved, and that didn’t make things any better. If the other werewolf was not of this pack, it could cause a pack war. There hadn’t been a pack war in the area for over two hundred years.

“Yes, I think that is the most probable option, but first I will have to check out the other places. Can’t rule out any member of the pack until I have been able to assess their scent,” James replied and once more they both looked at the people in the bar.

“Well, it’s late and Liz is probably pacing the whole house up and down by now,” Tony announced, placing his hands on the table as he grinned. James laughed with a small shake of his head.

“Okay, well let’s go lover boy,” James teased him and they left the bar.

Tony dropped James off at his hotel room. As he watched his friend leave, he felt a pang of jealousy wash over him. He accepted who he was and all that it entails, but there were times, like that night, where he wished his life was different. He would give up being one of the strongest and most feared creatures in existence just to have a home to go to every night, instead of a hotel room.

To have a nine-to-five job, instead of doing odd jobs here and there just so he could eat and have a roof over his head. He also wondered what it’d be like to have a mate waiting for him at home. To give him a kiss when he got home and ask how his day was... a woman that would complete his life and make him a father... what it must be like to know that a life existed because of him. How it’d feel to be called daddy and receive the unconditional love of his child.

James shrugged off the unwanted feelings and told himself to quit acting like a pussy as he walked into his hotel room. He got undressed, passing through the events of the night in his head. It all seemed like a confusing mess, but there had to be a way to sort it all out and find the person responsible for all of this, responsible for what he had become.

He laid down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling and passing through what memories he had of that time. James remembered a dark room, a cold metal bed, lots of needles, a lot of intense burning pain, and someone always nearby. He had tried every way imaginable to remember that person. James had tried drugs, some legal and some not so legal. He had tried hypnotism, meditation, but nothing had proved effective. The face of the man who made him into the beast he was today refused to surface to the light.