Chapter 1

Rose POV

When I was a little girl I always imagined my life would be full of happiness and love. I pictured finding the perfect mate to share a beautiful life and children with. I believed I was invincible from darkness and the monsters that hide under your bed or in your closet. Looking back now, I feel foolish for ever believing in that, but it is also what kept me clinging on to hope, but I started to lose hope ten years ago. I wish I could go back in time to visit my seven-year-old self and tell her to never lose that hope because she was going to need to stay strong.

I belong to the Blackforest pack. We are the second biggest pack, having 3,000 members, in the United States. Not all pack members live in the little town of Blackforest Heights. Most members are scattered throughout the woods so they can shift whenever they want without scaring the few humans that come to our town. The first place title belongs to the Moonlight Pack. We used to be known for our great tracking skills, fighting skills, and showing mercy when necessary. Over time we became known for showing no mercy and being utterly ruthless, but that was due to unwillingly change in leadership.

My father, Dean Winslow, was the alpha until he was murdered for his title by his beta, Maximus Redford, when I was eight years old. He had my mother, Jane, killed so there wouldn’t be any witnesses to what he had done. He tracked down some rogues and offered them the chance to be a part of a pack again if they killed my father, my mother, and me.

His plan was almost perfect and flawless except he didn’t know a panic room was built into the backside of my closet. A keypad, that only worked with my handprint, was hidden behind a poster of kittens playing with a ball of yarn. I was in my room coloring in my princess coloring book when I heard a loud bang and the sound of running feet. My mother came rushing in my room to tell me to hide in my special room in my closet. Once I was inside the locks locked and I was locked in for six hours. 

I had plenty of toys and coloring books to keep me busy until my parents came and used their special code to let me, but after two hours and they still hadn't come, I climbed on my princess cot and went to sleep. I was awoken by the sound of the door unlocking, and when I stepped out of the room I couldn't believe what I was seeing. My room was completely destroyed and there was blood around the room but there weren't any bodies.

 When I went looking downstairs for my parents the whole place was a mess. At the bottom of the stairs were both my parents, dead and completely torn to pieces. The only reason you could recognize them was because their eyes were wide open. I screamed so loud my throat started to bleed. 

We lived in the packhouse that was in the center of town so that way my parents could keep a close eye on the pack. The bottom level of the packhouse was opened to all pack members for any reason. After a while, I finally stopped screaming and ran out of the packhouse only for the scent of heavy sorrow to fill the air. At that moment  I knew they had heard of my parents' death.

I ran to where everyone was gathered in what we considered the town square. Everyone was in tears and I could smell the emotions of sorrow and sadness. When I went running into the middle of the circle everyone started gasping. Gamma Lucas's mate Lilith, scooped me up and buried her nose into my neck. Lilith and my mom were extremely close.

“I thought you said she was dead?! How did she survive the rogue attack?”  Our gamma, Lucas, had asked.

“There’s no possible way she did! The only way she did is if she helped them!!” Beta Maximus bellowed.

That was the day my fate of abuse, slavery, and starvation began. I went from a respected, happy little girl, to one that wished with each beating and skipped meal death would come, and take me out of my misery. I was everyone's punching bag for their anger. If I wasn’t a werewolf, I never would have survived all the abuse I was given. That day my room was moved to a shoe closet with only a blanket and a dress made from a sack. The only place I was able to bathe was a small creek that ran outside the territory and still there I was not free from abuse and torment.

When I turned twelve years old the omega that was assigned to kitchen duty was forced to teach me how to cook. When I learned everything there was to learn, I was the new cook and I had to do kitchen duty all by myself. That includes cooking, cleaning, and meal prep. If there was anything out of order and not cleaned that would grant me a beating or a whipping in the basement by alpha Maximus, that went as far as the tiniest water stain on a dish, and that was 15 whippings.

When I was ten years old I was tasked with doing everyone that lived in the packhouses laundry. The alpha and his mate and their three children lived on the top floor. On the second floor was for the once gamma, now beta, and their two children. The bottom floors had a theater for the teens of the pack, an arcade, and a workout room. When I turned fourteen the whole entire packhouse became my responsibility to clean every single day. 

The only thing that kept me going was that one day I would find my destined mate and he would help me get my revenge and take my pack back. But I also feared he would reject me because of the awful things my pack will say about me and my awful appearance. All werewolves are able to sense and find their mates at the age of 18. Unlike humans, it’s normal once you find your mate to immediately start the mating process. Marriage is not common among us, but some prefer it so they can be connected in every way possible.

The last time I went to school was while my parents were still alive, so I taught myself how to read. I’d sneak the schoolwork other pack members threw away to teach myself the basics so I would not be behind on anything. Once I was of age I could go find my mate and maybe he wouldn’t reject me if I was smart enough that he could overlook my appearance. 

When a wolf is rejected by its mate, the pain of the rejection is so excruciating, that very few wolves have survived it. The pain from being rejected drives werewolves so mad, that they end up killing themselves. A mate is our other half, so when they reject you, they are killing half of you. It leaves you with a void that nothing will ever fill. 

I am very far from being a healthy she-wolf. I am complete skin and bone from being starved for days and weeks at a time. The only reason I have not died of starvation is that I had no choice but the sneak scraps that were going to be thrown away when I had the chance. The few kitchen staff that chose to stay working never believed I had any part in killing my parents so they would sneak me food when they could, but their fear of alpha Maximus was too great and I didn't blame them. 

The beatings I received every day have my body so covered in bruises that you can barely find any part of my body that has a normal skin color to it. I'm all black, blue, yellow, red, and purple from how often I am beaten by everybody. Normally when I am beaten it is just she-wolves and he-wolves having fun. It consists of them punching, hitting, kicking, and spitting on me. When the alpha would come to release his anger, he used his favorite spiked whip coated in wolfsbane so I wouldn’t heal. Even after his hours of whipping me and kicking and punching me, I am still expected to make meals and do my daily chores.

My name is Rose June Winslow. I will never forget my name, it’s the only thing I have left of my parents since everything was destroyed after they died. When I finally get to return to my room, my dreams are my only escape and they make me happy until I wake up. Maximus has always made it clear that no one is to see me as anything other than a murderer and a traitor. I am below everyone and if anyone showed me any type of kindness and mercy, then they would either be killed or they would be banished.

My 18th birthday is tomorrow and I’m dreading finding my mate. Who would want someone that is as broken and damaged as I am? It will take effort for me to get comfortable around someone again. I don't think I will ever trust anyone ever again. The gamma and his family have never taken part in my suffering, but they didn't do anything to try to stop it either. I don't blame them, but how can you sit there and watch a child go through what I did and still go through?

It just so happens the annual Mating Gala is tomorrow and this year it is Blackforest’s turn to host. Alpha doubled my chores to make sure everything in the packhouse was perfectly clean. I already knew he would do this so, throughout the week, I started to strip all the beds of the spare rooms and deeply scrubbed all bathrooms and the dining room. The only way I am allowed to attend is if I’m working it, which means not even wearing a gown or a proper work uniform. It's not like I really had a say in the matter, but I think these things are stupid anyway. I’m not entirely sure I could ever attend one unless I worked it, I stopped talking long ago and people scare me, I would never survive one of these kinds of parties as a guest.

Due to the gala being hosted here, alphas and their betas, gammas, and pack warriors from surrounding areas always show up the night before so they can get settled in. They started arriving around 4 pm so cooking and cleaning up after dinner took longer than normal tonight. I didn’t get a chance to see the guests as I was too busy making sure everything was in tip-top shape for the Gala tomorrow.