-5-

Flashback

It was my first official meeting with Ed and I was so nerve-racked. I arrived at the address I had been given and my stomach was in knots. What if this was a human trafficking ring that preyed on naïve girls like myself who are desperate?

Taking I deep breath, I walked up to the door and knocked. After a few moments, the gorgeous man who I had met on the street walked up to it and opened it. I had expected to see a butler or a maid. He was really tall at almost 2 meters with gelled-back blonde hair and stormy grey eyes. He looked down at me and asked if he could help me.

"I, I, I'm Zuhair", I announced with a slight stutter. This man was confident. Everything about him screamed that he was used to getting his way and exercising strict control over his surroundings. "Zuhair Micellar?" he questioned. I nodded afraid that I would start stuttering again. He was shirtless and his broad chest was glistening with what I assumed was sweat. His sweat pants were hanging dangerously low.

I couldn't help my wandering eyes from staring at the bulge in his pants. He smirked and then told me to come in. "You seem very young. Why would you want to be in porn? Surely you could be a model?", he said to me as we sat in his lounge area. He had put on a t-shirt to my dismay.

"My own personal reasons", I responded. I didn't want him to think that I was a pushover.

"Is that right, what if you are a drug addict and I'm helping you feed your habit?"

The air around us seemed calm which made me relax a bit but I was still a bit on edge at being alone with this stranger. "Do I look like a druggie?" I asked him coyly. He chuckled and I couldn't help but be mesmerised by his gorgeous face. He seemed young at least in his late or mid-twenties.

When he had approached me, a week ago, he had been in a hurry so I hadn't been able to study his face up close like now. "How old are you? I don't want your parents opening a statutory rape case against me and fucking with my business", he said coolly. His demeanor had changed now, he seemed more business-like.

"You don't have to worry I finished high school last year and turned 19 two months ago." He kept staring at me. "I don't think this will work." He said finally after what seemed like an eternity. Panic was starting to rise in my chest, but I knew I couldn't show him any weaknesses otherwise he would continue seeing me as a child. "Fine, I need the money to pay off my parents' debts. They have worked themselves to the bone to provide my siblings and I, with a decent life but they are suffering for it. Creditors keep calling and I'm sick and tired of seeing my mother crying and my fathers' crushed face. I know it's not a child's place to involve themselves with adult affairs but I can't sit by and let the debt suffocate all the life from them. He exhaled and then nodded.

"Do you need an advance?" Was he agreeing? His tone of voice seemed to say that he had agreed to work with me and I was so happy tears sprang into my eyes and I found myself sobbing. He seemed taken aback but he laid a hand on my shoulder trying to soothe me. My parents' troubles were over, this man was going to help me. I had already done all the calculations and come up to the sum of $ 271 000 in total this included school fees, the house, loans, the car, and other bills.

If I could pay half of it then they would at least stop calling. Once I was composed I asked him for $150 000.

"That's a lot of money, for a person who hasn't done anything," he said to me even though he hadn't reacted physically when I had said the figure. Looking at the vast luxurious room that we were seated in and the mansion, I had a feeling this was his home, I knew that the money that I was asking for wouldn't dent his bank account by any means but I was still determined to work hard to pay it back.

"I will work for every cent of it I promise," I said earnestly to him.

"I like you. You are tenacious. Welcome to McQueen Industries." He took out a checkbook, from a drawer located in a cabinet that was next to where he was seated, and wrote a cheque for my requested amount. "If you start crying again I will rip it up", he warned his smirk betraying his cautionary tone and harsh words.

I nodded and hugged him. I was so grateful. I would be able to pay off half the debts and then use what was left over to keep me afloat until I had worked off the initial amount. "I will give you at least $1 500 a month so that you don't feel like a slave working towards their freedom". I thanked him and then put away the cheque.

"Are you attracted to me?" he asked me suddenly. My face began to heat up. "Well, I mean your body looks really hard in a good way and your face is nice." If the earth could open up and swallow me, I would have been eternally grateful. Hard? Was that the best adjective I could come up with? What if he thought I was making a sexual joke? He chuckled lightly, "to ease you into this world, I would like to shoot your first video with you. Are you up for it?" he asked me. "Sure", I hastily agreed. "Wait do you fuck everyone on their first time making a video?"

"Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to announce that the toddler has colourful language", he said leaving my question unanswered.

"You started cussing first, besides what's it to you?" I asked him scowling. "This isn't the 1950s I can speak however I want and don't call me a toddler it's creepy considering we are going to fuck. Hard," I snapped sassily. His lips curved into a full-blown smile.

"I think it will be fun to work with you Miss Micellar", he said. He told me he would contact me with a date and time and when we would be making the video. I thanked him again and then ordered an uber home. In the uber, I recalled that he hadn't answered my question about him fucking everyone that worked for him. I just hoped that I would never fall for Edward McQueen because I knew it wouldn't end well for me or my new side career.

_________________________________________________________________

PRESENT

The day had gone by relatively fast and I found myself at Min Jae's house. "You should call me hyung", he said light heartedly. We were sitting outside on the balcony sipping on homemade long island ice teas.

I laughed, "Are you still my hyung even though we have fucked?"

"Of cause that has nothing to do with where we are now. How are things with baby boy?" He asked changing the topic.

"That shit that went down on Friday with McQueen made some waves in my relationship. McQueen and I have a special relationship but the romance is gone. I wish I could explain that to Grayson. But McQueen was just on one on Friday. I don't know if it was the liquor in his system or because that was the first time he was seeing me with a man outside of work. He lost his shit which was weird considering how in control he always is."

"Can you blame him? Sure, you guys haven't fucked in a while but you have known each other far longer than you have known baby boy. It would have been way weirder if he hadn't done anything."

"I guess you are right. Your face looks like it's healing quite nicely. How is that hot piece of ass of yours". The laidback atmosphere changed suddenly which made me look at my best friend. He seemed pensive.

"What did he do?" I asked concerned.

"I finished filming right and then I wrote that bullshit article that you finished off-"

"The one about that first trip we took together?" I clarified. He smiled bleakly.

"Yeah that one, anyway I then went to meet up with him and arrived early. He seemed to be in a heated discussion with some woman. Now imagine how loud it had to have been for me to hear it outside. Like I waited like 15 minutes hoping they would finish soon, I didnt want to interrupt or disrupt any deep chats. You know me, i don't like getting into people's shit and  I didn't think too much of it because it was none of my business. Then casually I asked him how his day was and what time he had gotten there and then he lied and said he got home at the time that I initially arrived but it sounded like they had been at it a while. Now alarm bells are going off because I'm now wondering why the fuck he would lie about it.

I try and just focus on dinner but you know me I have zero patience so I asked him why he lied about it. I was grateful that he didn't bullshit and just told me straight that the woman was claiming she was pregnant with his child. But timelines weren't adding up because it would have meant that the woman got pregnant during him and I.

I told him as much and then he got pissed off and started attacking me saying that I was unfaithful first because of my job and then I just got up and left. He knew from the jump that I filmed porn as a means to stay afloat but he was now acting like this was new information and trying to manipulate the situation and make me look like the bad guy".

I had been listening intently and it broke my heart that this man had treated Min Jae like this. He had been the first man in a long while that Min Jae had opened up to. "What are you going to do?" He lit a cigarette and blew out some smoke. "I don't know. He tried calling but I had been ignoring his calls. Someone who has never experienced what hunger is or how it feels to almost starve to death can't tell me shit. Fucking for a living is way better than being in the gutters with no lifeline."

"Wait when did all of this go down?"

"A week ago," he responded dejectedly. I felt like the world's worst best friend. I had been in my blissful bubble with Grayson and hadn't been checking up on Min Jae. "It's okay, don't stress", he said blowing out another puff of smoke.

"Things were just so great between baby boy and me, even the small tiffs we had were always resolved instantly that I haven't been checking in. I grabbed his hand and intertwined our fingers.

"Fuck him, even though he was hot and was packing I saw his dick print when he wore those grey sweat pants and damn–" Min Jae playfully pushed me away and we both laughed. "Will you date another black man?" I asked him softly. He was quiet for a moment. "Yeah, you know me, I am more about what's on the inside and personality. Don't get me wrong I love a pretty face but race has never been a determinative factor." I smiled at him.

"Hyung, you know you can be so wise sometimes but not all the time though." He rolled his eyes. We ended up going out for dinner and then I went back home.

"Zuhair when was the last time you spent some time with us?" asked my mother as I walked in. I felt tired but I knew that she was right. "My bad mom, how about we all go paintballing on Saturday and then hit the amusement park and then have dinner at a restaurant?" her face lit up which made my heart happy. I pulled her into an embrace that made her chuckle.

"I love you mommy and I'm sorry if I don't show it sometimes." She pulled back and smiled up at me. "I know baby", she responded and then pulled me back in. I said goodnight to her and everyone else before heading off to my room. I received an email of the professional pictures that Grayson and I had taken on our picnic and helicopter ride date. I immediately face timed him with a mask on my face.

"Babe", he said tiredly in greeting. He had really been working hard these past couple of days in preparation for the next game. If they didn't win they wouldn't be going to Superbowl. "Look at these," I said changing the camera from the one in front of the phone to the back one. I had been looking at the pictures on my MacBook. He was lying in bed with the lights off.

"Those are stunning", he said in response. I could tell that he was really tired so I didn't push him. I just spoke to him a bit more and then hung up so that he could go to bed. I was also tired so I washed my face mask off and then went to bed. As I was about to drift off my phone started ringing.

"Hello", I said.

"Are you asleep?" I heard the voice on the other end ask. It was McQueen.

"Ed, I was about to sleep what's up?"

"About the other day... I almost caused some shit between you and your boyfriend and I was wrong for that." He was silent for a moment. The relationship I had with McQueen was really authentic. I never lied to him and he never lied to me. "Min Jae and I spoke about it and we came to the conclusion that it would have been weirder given our history if you hadn't stepped in but at the same time I didn't appreciate how you tried to make Grayson feel like a bitch. That wasn't cool."

"Sorry for that. Please extend my apologies to him too... or not if it will start up some new shit. I just wanted to make sure that you and I were okay."

"We are good, don't stress. I will be at the shoot in two weeks." He exhaled softly. "Thank you", he said and then hung up. I hadn't realized how much anxiety I had been feeling because of how we had left things off that night. But after the call with McQueen, I was able to fall into a deeply peaceful and restful sleep.