chapter one - TYS' POV

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Thank you so much, once again.

A grave decision

It was a cool evening, I walked through the bushes at the back of my home, my destination was the lake where I always swam in since I was a child. I always came here when I wanted to be away from my family and alone with my thoughts.

I got to the lake, stripped off and jumped in. I swam for an hour and came out, and then sat on a log at the bank of the lake, throwing rocks at the water.

Doing this helps me process my thoughts. The swim had done nothing to calm my frayed nerves.

I was not in the right state of mind. In fact I was quite angry and very unhappy.

Early in the afternoon, I had come back on an errand my father sent me on. I had been sent to the next town to broker an alliance between my father and the alpha of the nighttime pack. My father is the most powerful alpha in the tricities, he wants to merge the packs under the tricities together against another powerful werewolf force from another country who was threatening to wage war.

The alpha I had gone to meet to broker the alliance had agreed about the merge, and had promised to provide strong werewolves for the oncoming war.

I had happily rushed back home to tell my father of my success with the assignment, when I had overheard a conversation between my father and my mother, Nymeria, which almost made me run mad.

".... Beowulf, he is your son, you can not treat him like a common messanger in his home" my mother had been saying when I got to the door of my father's study

"Darling, the boy is not useful in ways that I need him to... he does not have any werewolf abilities, so I let him do what he is obviously good at. What else do you want from me? Make him commander of my army?" my father had replied

"it is not his fault that he was born that way Beo, and you know it. At least, give him a chance to prove himself. He has been training since he was two, you said yourself that he is strong and very intelligent for a...human"

"A human?" my father had laughed out "Nymeria, we don't even know what he is. we both know why the moon goddess did not bless him with our powers. He has no place in my army and that is that."

I had turned back and left without delivering the message, I did not want to hear anymore.

Since I was a child, I have always felt the need to prove to my father that I was capable of protecting the pack just like my three elder brothers even though I had no special powers.

I was not born with were wolf abilities because my mother gave birth to me on a night without a full moon.

The moon goddess was present at the birth of my siblings. But, she went to sleep on the night I was born, my mother had told me that the night was darker than normal, and the moon goddess did not give her the power to birth me, so she almost died of my birth.

I have always felt guilty for causing my mother that much pain, my father did not make it easy for me, he would always remind me that I was not recognized by the moon goddess, and that I was never special to him.

I will not lie that this did not hurt me in anyway but I have grown used to the constant taunts and hurt. I have channeled my hurt, guilt and anger against the goddess, towards working twice as much as any werewolf just to be the son I thought my father wanted me to be -a strong protector for his pack- but it is now obvious that no matter how much I wake up by dawn to train with the others and continue even when the others have stopped, use my superb intellect to help in diplomatic matters in the pack, put my life on the line countless times when sent on dangerous meetings with other packs, I will never be enough for my father. I am not a werewolf, so I do not matter.

Coming to this conclusion hurt me more than I can put into words but it has also made me gain clarity.

I envy my siblings who do not have the same problems I have, I have three elder brothers who are powerful werewolves already.

The first one, Thane was the commander of my father's army and the next alpha of the pack, Ghost was the second in command, the third is Rudolph.

Rudolph has always shown me scorn, he was always finding ways to hurt me with words and would always laugh out loud when father criticizes me.

It hurt and angered me when he shouts "oh Tys, I think you should sit the hunting games out, you would not be able to see an elephant even if it is standing right at your front, would you" to the hearing of my father's men, in a voice intended to hurt.

Of course he was alluding to the werewolf's ability to see very clearly, even in the dark. I do not have that ability but I do have a keenness to track animals very well, but he doesn't care about this either, just like my father.

My other siblings were more amiable to me especially my older and younger sister, Akela and Akira and Thane's mate, Cassidy.

Although I have always felt that Thane and Ghost tolerated me at best, but at least they were not cruel like Rudolph.

I was now in my twentieth year, and I am tired of the constant discrimination from my father, Rudolph's constant taunts, and the others' pity, I can not take them anymore, I have to leave the suffocating walls of my family's home.

I decided to talk with my father.

I stood on my feet and threw one last rock at the river, then started walking back towards the house. I wanted to let my father know my decision immediately.

Fortunately, it was one of those evenings when my father, free from duties, sat in the family sitting room reading the evening papers.

I approached him with nervousness, I knew cruel words would be exchanged due to what I was about to say, but I do not give a fuck about that.

"Father, I have something to say to you," I said in a very strong voice laced with determination.

my father looked up from his paper and fastened steely eyes on me "you did not come to report to me about the meeting with the nighttime alpha...did you want me to send emmisaries to you to get the information or what?" he asked, drawing his eyebrows together in a frown and grinding his teeth together as he was wont to do when he was vexed.

"I want to leave"

"leave?...leave where?"

"leave here, I want to travel...I want to go and make my way"

He looked at me without understanding "your way is with your family, Tys, you can no't leave!" this was said in a dangerously low voice, it did not move me though

"Why can not I leave? you can not tell me what and not to do, father... I am only telling you because it is the right thing to do, I am not asking for permission to leave"

"the hell you are not asking for permission!" he shouted, slapping his paper on the table and standing up. "I am the leader of this pack, boy, I have the final say here! You don not."

"I am useless here father, you have never lost the opportunity to drill this into my head, how does my leaving affect anyone?" I shouted back, standing my ground.

"You are right! You are fucking useless to me, but no son of mine will leave the pack to go gallivanting across the -"

"that is enough, Beowulf!" screamed a voice I recognized as my mother's. I looked back and saw her sweeping into the room with barely contained anger pulsing in her veins "Let the boy do whatever he wants, there is no use bullying him to stay"

my father was speechless, he stared long at his wife, sat down slowly, then finally directed his gaze back to me "go then" he said "but, don't ever come back"

I wasn't shocked at this command, I expected it. My father was a very proud man, he could not tolerate any disrespect.

I glanced at my mother to see her reaction, she was white in the face. "You can not banish him, Beowulf....." she protested with a weak voice.

"I am sorry Nymeria, he was never part of this family anyway"

"No!!" mother cried, shifted into wolf form, then ran out.

I wanted to run after her, to console her, but I knew it was no use anyway, I could not catch up with her no matter how fast I ran. Perhaps, it is best to allow her to vent her anger in the way she chose to. I sighed, nodded at my father, and walked away leaving my father staring at my back angrily.

I went to my room to pack my things.

As I entered I felt the presence of another "who is here?" I asked

"it is me, brother" whispered a voice from the shadows of the dim room. I relaxed, it was my beloved younger sister.

"Akira-"

"I heard you were leaving " she was in my front now, staring at me with luminous blue eyes, her wild mane of blond hair tied back in a ponytail, I looked at her with fondness and knew I would miss her terribly

"yes...I wish to travel"

"to where?"

"I do not know yet, darling sis"

"I wish u would not go, Tys...this would break mother's heart...she would feel more guilty about..."

"she has nothing to feel guilty for, she did not make me this way, the moon goddess did. I need to find myself, Akira I am tired of being redundant in this family, tired of the constant hurt, I love mother, but this is about me, my life"

"I know...well, I will miss you Tys, and it is so sad that we might not see you again" she began to cry.

"hush, angel, you will...I promise you, I will make sure of that" I drew her close and wiped her tears. When she stopped crying, she joined me to pack. That is Akira for you, she never dwelt long on sadness. She was a happy go lucky person, but she was a wonder in her wolf moment, a ferocious fighter.

My mother walked in some moments later, Akira left to give us some privacy.

"I wish you would not go, son...but...but I understand your desire to leave here. I have wired some money into your bank account-"

"Mother, I do not want his money, I will send it back to you!" I vehemently replied, does she think I can not survive on my own without their help? I thought angrily.

"It is not your Father's money, it is mine! I know you do not need it, you are a strong man, I am sure you can survive on your own without it, but please it would do me some good to know that I have helped in a way"

"mother... please do not feel guilty for my situation, it is not your fault. thank you for the money, anyway" I replied, knowing that it was the only way to allay her fears for me.

she hugged me very tightly, then walked away still weeping silently.

I carried my light suitcase, took a cursory look at my room for the last time, then walked out of it.

I met my brothers in the hallway, they were arguing playfully, and when they saw me, they stopped.

"Tys, what is this I hear about you leaving?" asked Thane, eyeing my luggage

"it is true, I am leaving"

"Well, well, well, if that ain't the best news I have heard in years" growled Rudolph

"shut up Rudolph!" commanded Thane with menace. Rudolph gave a low growl in answer but kept his mouth shut while keeping his hateful eyes on me

"Did father banish you because of this?" Ghost wanted to know

"yes....he did"

"you would write mother or call from time to time to keep her sane then?" Thane asked gruffly, though I knew this was not a question but a command. it did not offend me, I knew my brother's gruffness was out of concern for our mother.

"yes I will" I replied to reassured him, though I am not sure I will, at least until I am no more the pathetic loser they all know.

We all kept silent after this. The silence was broken by the entrance of Akela, Akira and Cassidy

Akela came to me, held my hands, and whispered "I wish you good tidings on your journey Tys, I will miss you" she said, it is obvious she had been crying, her green eyes were laced with worry, I hope she was not reading my aura, Akela is a sage, so she was mostly pessimistic in nature. She was the complete opposite of Akira in more ways than one.

"thank you Akela, please take care of mother" I replied, pulling her red hair loose from the tight bun she had packed it in, in a playful way like I have always done.

Cassidy held her arms forward, I went into them and hugged her tightly. "Take care of yourself little one, I wish you good speed" she whispered into my ears. I nodded "thank you, Cass" and kissed her goodbye on her cheeks.

I went to Akira who was looking like she missed me already, hugged her tightly, kissed her goodbye, nodded to the others, and took my leave to search for my destiny.