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The choices we make 11
“Thank you, ma’am. It will certainly do just fine, and I promise to work just as well tomorrow,” Mary said and curtsied. Soon after, she swept through the corridors tightly on Jossi’s heels.“It’s forbidden to have men in the room,” Jossi said, looking over her shoulder. “You don’t have to worry about that for a couple of years, I guess. The room should be tidy and clean; sometimes both Mrs. Karrots and Mrs. Meata do inspections of the rooms. If you ask me, Mrs. Meata is a real bitch, so you better make sure to stay n her good graces,” Jossi continued. Mary nodded and followed the woman as she desperately tried to remember the way they were walking. Jossi stopped in front of a door. “This is your room. Toilet and bath are two doors farther in that direction,” she said, pointing. “I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning, so you don’t get lost. Okay?” Mary nodded and Jossi left her outside the door. Mary opened the door and walked inside. The room was minimal. At one side stood a bed, next to
Last Updated : 2023-06-25The choices we make 12
“Yes,” said Mrs. Karrots. “I think it can be arranged. I already have a new helper that I’m training,” she said, nodding toward Mary. “I guess another one wouldn’t be a big inconvenience. He’ll need to be here from the start of the day until we finish, and he’ll eat all the meals with us?”“That sounds agreeable, and I don’t want him to be treated any differently because he’s my son,” he said. Mrs. Karrots nodded, and the man disappeared from the kitchen, leaving the boy behind. The boy stood next to Mary and looked at Mrs. Karrots.“What’s your name, young man?” Mrs. Karrots asked him.“Zerden, ma’am,” he replied.“Nice to meet you. Mary here will show you where everything is and how we do things around here. I expect you to work hard and fast and do things the right way. Is that understood?” The boy nodded. “Excellent. Mary, take Zerden and bring water for the vegetables; two pots are enough today. When you are done, I want you to come to me. I have a special task for both of you,”
Last Updated : 2023-06-26The choices we make 13
When they returned, however, there was no time for any lessons on how to read and write. They were busy and soon it was time for dinner. Just as Jossi had done for Mary’s first day in the kitchen, Mary made sure Zerden could sit next to her. They didn’t talk much; they concentrated on eating. When the afternoon’s work was completed, Zerden returned home and Mary walked towards her room.“I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said, waving at him. He waved back before disappearing out the door. Mary thought it was nice to have someone her own age in the kitchen. He wasn’t as nice as Erik, but right now she wasn’t picky. When she fell asleep that evening, she dreamed of branches getting sawed off as she sat on them, long streets lined with people, and of a room with an empty bed.The days went by quickly. Mary discovered most things were easier now she shared most of her chores with Zerden. He had stopped being grumpy and angry and for the most part she liked him. Sometimes they had a few minutes
Last Updated : 2023-06-27The choices we make 14
Inside the pharmacy it was dark, and it smelled of different spices and medications. The pharmacist was an old man with a bent back and round glasses. Mary walked carefully towards the counter.“Good day,” she said.“Hmm,” the man answered.“We’d need three sticks off cinnamon,” Mary said. The man looked at her and then at Zerden.“Three cresi,” said the man, turning toward a cupboard with lots of small draws drawers and fishing up three sticks of cinnamon. Mary didn’t want to talk to him; she didn’t like him. But she couldn’t pay that much money for the three cinnamon sticks. She tried to haggle but the man told her that in his pharmacy the price was fixed. Mary looked at Zerden, who seemed to have the same opinion of the man as her. He shook his head and she understood that he just wanted to take the cinnamon and go.“Well then, Zerden, I guess the court can eat apples without cinnamon,” Mary said, walking toward the door.“But Mary,”, Zerden whispered to her as he followed. She gav
Last Updated : 2023-07-02The choices we make 15
Time seemed to pass quickly when Mary finally began to accept her new life. She enjoyed her new chores and she quickly learned how to chop carrots and dice parsnips. She had started to make some of the porridge they ate in the mornings, and she discovered after watching how one of the other assistants did it, she could cook porridge that neither floated into the milk nor got stuck in the pot. Filled with new confidence, she learned how to clean meat and fillet fish. The days weren’t any shorter, but the chores suited her better. Her hands would still hurt when she went to bed at night, but now it was due to cuts from knives or she had burned herself on a hot saucepan. She also had Wednesday afternoons to look forward to. She and Zerden met in the courtyard outside the kitchen and practiced. As spring passed into summer, he began to master the letters better and better. He, in turn, used the time to tell her about all the exciting things that happened outside the kitchen. He often knew
Last Updated : 2023-07-05The choices we make 16
Thursday seemed to never end. Never had Mary waited so for the evening to come, it seemed. Even when Mrs. Karrots tasked her with peeling and cutting apples into archers for a pie, she couldn’t stop thinking about dinner at the castellan family. Mary tried to concentrate on the apples. It was a job she was not used to, and it was tricky to get the pieces even and the same size. When she had sliced a whole bucket, she sighed and felt relieved it was over. But instead of being given an easy task, she was set to knead dough. The prince would be bringing bread for the hunting party, so Mary stood for a long time and kneaded one loaf after another. She could feel her muscles slowly turning into trembling jelly and her hands almost go numb. No matter how slowly the day crept along, no one could stop time. Mary looked up when Mrs. Karrots called her.“It’s time to get ready,” she told Mary. Mary nodded and ran to her room. She washed herself thoroughly and combed out her hair, which she then
Last Updated : 2023-07-06The choices we make 17
“What do you mean it is your fault, my child?” asked Zerden’s mother. Mary looked at her and suddenly, the words poured out of her mouth. She told them about how first her father got sick and then her mother; she told them no one wanted to help them and how she took care of them. She told them about the day she opened the store and how she had gone to the market.“It was my fault,” she said in a low voice. “I should have stayed with them and taken care of them. Instead, I went to the market and when I got home, I milked the goats and looked for eggs. I should have taken care of them, but I was stupid and selfish and that’s why they died,” she told them. She continued to tell them about how she ran and looked for the Lady, how she had found her, but that it had been too late. “That’s why she brought me here,” Mary said. She was sitting with her head lowered now. There were no tears, and she was calm, uncomfortably calm. She didn’t dare look at any of the others sitting around the table
Last Updated : 2023-07-07The choices we make 18
The days Mary spent working in the kitchen always seemed to go by quickly. It was the daily routines which divided the days into breakfast, lunch and dinner that made them float together into a formless memory. Wednesday seemed to appear out of nowhere and before Mary knew it, she stood outside the kitchen waiting for Zerden. She was wearing her grey cloak and in the pocket of her dress she had put her purse with some of the money she had saved. She was hoping Zerden wanted to go with her to the seamstress. Mrs. Karrots had told her where to go. There was apparently a seamstress who used to sew clothes for the servants in the castle. If Mary told her she worked in the kitchen, the seamstress would choose the fabric and the model which was standard. Zerden came running, Mary saw he was happy. He came up to her and gave her a big smile and his eyes was full of anticipation.“Mary, you’ll never believe what Dad told me today,” he said before she had time to say hello. “I’m going to go hu
Last Updated : 2023-07-08
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The choices we make 101
“We finished Procecsa’s experiments today, and we think we can see a pattern,” Mary told Tariana excited. She didn’t know how Tariana already knew about it, but it was the only thing exciting which had happened lately. Tariana laughed again.“That is exciting to hear, but no. I was thinking about the fact that you have gotten some control over your fire magic,” Tariana smiled.“Oh, that. Yes, Procecsa helped me with it last night,” Mary said. She didn’t understand what was so exciting about that.“Do you think you could summon it now?” Tariana asked.“I think so,” Mary nodded. Tariana stood and went over to the bookcase. She got a small tray and walked back, placing it on the desk in front of Mary. On the tray there was a candle, an empty bowl, a feather, a pile of what looked like soil, and a plate with a dried bean.“Please light the candle,” Tariana asked Mary. Mary focused and after a while she found the now familiar feeling of her fire magic. The candle lit. “Fill the bowl with w
The choices we make 100
The time until the winter solstice went by quickly and before she knew it, Mary was running around the equipment she had helped Procecsa set up the day before the solstices. They were outside the wall, on a flat part of the plain. The grass had been cut down and a light dusting of snow barely covered the ground. The area was guarded by grey riders. Not for the fear of someone sabotaging their experiments, but to keep curious people away. There was a lot of preparation to be made. Luckily for Mary, she had already done this a couple of times before. According to magical theory, occasions such as the winter solstice and full moons could affect magic in different ways. But to Mary’s surprise, it had never been proven, even though everyone used the principle. Procecsa had therefore designed an experiment to perform some basic magic, which was easy to perform and evaluate the effect of and repeat this during the different beneficial celestial occasions. They had already done the control ro
The choices we make 99
“I would love to,” Mary said, looking at him. “But I don’t want to take time away from you seeing your family. I know you don’t get to see them that often,” she said. Tenac shrugged.“I will visit them as often as I can while they are here. It’s okay, I wouldn’t have asked if it weren’t,” he said.“Okay, then I would love to come.”“Good. Now let’s get you a new horse,” he smiled.“No, Tenac. I have told you, Buttercup will do,” Mary objected.“I’m not letting you anywhere near my grandfather whilst you are riding Buttercup, Mary. If you are going to visit a Che’hul camp, you can’t be on a horse like her,” he said. Mary looked at him. She really wanted to go with him to visit his family. Her curiosity and thirst for new things was going crazy at the thought of getting to see this whole new culture. At the same time, it felt like she was betraying Buttercup. The horse had been patient with her from the start. Mary recognised Tenac was dangling the visit to the Che’hul camp as an incent
The choices we make 98
“In my case?” Mary asked.“For some reason, you have been conditioned to suppress your fire. Most likely not in an effort to suppress the magic, but a characteristic which goes with it. Like anger,” Procecsa said. Mary could hear that she tried to be gentle. Mary sat quietly for a while and thought things through. Her time in the kitchen had made her put a tight lead on her emotions, especially anger, but also passion and love. It would have been the last thing she did in the castle if she had become angry with someone higher up the rank than her. Which had been most people.“So, what do I do? Do I have to get angry at Tenac?” Mary asked, making Procecsa laugh.“No, I don’t think he deserves it. He’s just trying to help you, after all” she smiled at Mary.“I need to get angry at someone else?” Mary asked, confused.“I don’t know if you need to get angry at anyone, Mary. I think it would be okay just for you to accept it is okay for you to get angry. Just to allow yourself to experienc
The choices we make 97
It had been over six months since Mary had started her training, and each day offered new opportunities to learn and to explore the world. She discovered she had a craving for learning. The more she learnt, the more questions she had. Her mentor, Procecsa, had picked up on this and gave Mary more and more books to read. Mary was helping her mentor with all sorts of experiments. Procecsa was good at explaining things in a way Mary understood them. In just a few weeks, the winter solstice was to take place and Mary was looking forward to it. Several of the experiments that Procecsa had Mary help with depended on it. In the class for basic magic, they had learned certain celestial events could impact magic. The winter solstice was one of those. Mary was to assist her mentor in trying to figure out just how much it affected certain types of magic. Mary found the whole thing fascinating and couldn’t wait to get to see the results. After the solstice, they would have a two-week break. It wa
The choices we make 96
Zerden stood looking at the men under his command. They were training, and they looked tired. Zerden knew he had been pushing them hard this past month. His bad mood had made him irritable, and every mistake was now punished with a gruelling training session. He knew he needed to back off a bit. His men were well trained and the minor mistakes they made didn’t warrant this punishment. Zerden needed to get his temper back in check. Which was easier said than done. It would be easier if he just had known why he was in such a bad mood. If he was honest with himself, he knew why. He just wasn’t up for admitting it just yet. So instead, his bad mood continued and everyone around him endured and stayed out of his way as much as they could.“Don’t forget to put everything back before you head to get dinner,” he shouted. He didn’t wait around to make sure they did what he told them. No one wanted to disobey him at the moment. He walked inside and headed to his room in the castle. Zerden had j
The choices we make 95
“Sure, happy to help,” Jontak said, smiling. Firlea looked at Mary, slightly panicked. Mary smiled at her.“Thanks, Jontak,” Mary said. She and Sinhera looked as Jontak and Firlea left the shop.“Not the smoothest hint, but I think that will do,” Sinhera smiled.“It’s a good start at least,” Mary nodded.“What are you two plotting?” Tenac asked as he walked up to them. “And where are Jontak and your friend?”“Firlea needed ink. Jontak escorted her there as it’s her first time to the market,” Mary smiled at him.“You two are scaring me. Please don’t help me like that, ever,” he said. Both Mary and Sinhera laughed. They waited for the two to return before heading towards the weapons stalls. There were a lot of different weapons. Some Mary didn’t even know the names of and couldn’t figure out how to use.“Do you want to look at a new knife, Mary?” Jontak asked her.“No thank you, I’m happy with the one I have,” she told him.“Do you even know how to use it?” Tenac asked her.“Well, it’s
The choices we make 94
As Mary got back to her room, both her friends were sitting in the bay window reading. Mary had things she needed to read as well. But she felt like she needed to write her last letter. She wanted to let go of the past. She settled down at her desk and stared down at the empty paper in front of her. This was going to be difficult.‘Dear Anna,I’m so pleased to hear that things are looking up for you. That gives me hope this wave of the sickness will fade as well. I want to thank you for your kind words. They mean so much to me and I will always remember them. I told my father about your kind words, and he was grateful. That brings me to the difficult part of this letter. This is not something which is easy for me to write, or to think about doing. But I feel like it has to be done. Last time I wrote, I was taking the acceptance test to become an aari. Well, as you predicted, I made it and have now moved into the sanctum to start my training. With my training, my lessons with Tenac an
The choices we make 93
“What did you need to talk about?” Kopa said, as the two of them sat down at the table. “I read the letter you gave me,” Mary started. “And you got upset?”“Not like last time. I’m angry this time, more than I’m sad,” Mary admitted, which earned her a surprised look from Kopa.“I know. Who knew?” she said, laughing at his expression.“So, what advice do you need?”“I think I know what I need to do, but I don’t know if I should do it, or if I really want to,” Mary told him. “Okay, can you tell me what made you angry?” Kopa asked.“Do you promise to stay calm?” Mary asked.“I do”“I won’t go into details, but the jest of it is that Zerden told me I was a disappointment for choosing to live my life the way I am. For the choices I have made since coming here,” Mary said, looking at Kopa. He had clenched his jaw and there was a muscle tick above his right eye. But he kept his promise and stayed calm, at least on the surface. It made Mary smile. “Are you okay, dad?”“Fine. The letter was
