Chapter 1

Vladimir

When I think of my life, my past, and what I would change if I had the chance to do it, many things come to my mind. But I would never regret loving her. Every moment I spent with her was a gift.

My mind goes back to that fatal day, and when I remember all the blood, the cup I am washing slips from my hand and falls on the floor with a loud noise, shattering. I look at it. This is how I am right now–broken.

I hear him growl behind me and my heart starts pounding so fast in my chest, and I am already trembling with fear. I know what is going to happen, and I close my eyes. I deserve everything that is happening to me. For I am a criminal.

The Alpha first punches me in the nose and then in the stomach, hard, making me bend from the pain. Blood is dripping from my broken nose.

"You worthless piece of shit! You always break something! And every time you break something, it costs me money. How are you going to pay for what you just broke?" Alpha Max spits his anger at me while he keeps hitting me.

I get on my knees and wait for him to stop. From experience, I know he will stop when he either gets tired or I blackout.

I put my arms around my head, trying to make myself as small as possible and endure his beating. His anger and fury. I know the beating I receive is not for the cup. But for her.

"I won't give you food for the next three days," he says angrily.

Alpha Max beats me until he gets tired. When he finally stops, all my body aches with pain. I don't try to move, knowing that if I do move, he will hit me some more.

"Get up and clean the mess you made!" he orders me, kicking me in the ribs hard. I try hard not to grunt. "You piece of shit!" he says and spits on me.

Alpha Max turns his back and leaves. I remain alone in the kitchen, and I close my eyes. Blood is still dripping from my broken nose, and I try so hard not to think about it.

Eventually, I try to get up, but everything hurts, and my body refuses to move. I stay still for a few more minutes, then I try to get up again. It takes me five minutes to stand up. My legs are shaking, and I steady myself with the help of the counter. And I smell it. I look down, and I see blood on the white floor. The smell and sight of it make me faint. Memories that haunt me every night creep into my mind–memories that will torment me forever.

I try to think of something else–of happy days with her. Because I don't want to see her broken–broken because of me. Her blood on my hands, my clothes. And the blood of the others that died that day. Because of me, of what I did. I am a fucking murderer, and I deserve to suffer.

I start to breathe through my mouth, and I close my eyes. It takes me a while to get a hold of my emotions and my memories. Slowly, the nightmare that began a long time ago goes back to the darkest place of my mind. Memories of her linger in my head, and my heart breaks a little more. I deserve all that is happening to me. And no matter how much time passes, it will never be enough to pay for what I did.

It doesn't take long for my nose to stop bleeding and to start healing. Even for a werewolf, I still heal faster than normal. Call it a blessing. Or a curse. Because Alpha Max loves to use my ability of fast healing to cut me with a silver knife wanting to see how long it takes for me to heal. Sometimes a torture session might last an entire night.

Once my memories stop haunting me, I turn the water on and scrub my face, neck, and hands until I don't smell any more blood on me. I try to clean my clothes of my blood as best as I can.

After that, I look for old rags and bleach to clean the floor. I scrub all the floor until I don't smell more blood. Lastly, I pick up the pieces of the cup.

I look at the clock. More than thirty minutes have passed since the Alpha left. Damn! I have to hurry and do all my chores, or Alpha Max will drag me into the courtyard and beat me in front of the pack. And I have so much to do until the day is over.

As I hurry out of the Pack House, my knees buckle, and I fall, and all I want to do is to crawl onto my dirty mattress and sleep. I feel weak from all the beatings I receive daily.

I inhale deeply and stand.

"Oh, my Goddess! He beat you again!" I hear Ana from behind me.

Ana is my only friend in the Silver Pack. She and her family are Omegas. Ana's mother, Mrs. Radu, would usually gives me a slice of bread and cheese when no one is watching. She risks a lot for me, and I am grateful.

I turn and look at Ana. Her eyes go wide from the shock of seeing me.

"When will Alpha Max stop torturing you?" Ana asks me with tears in her eyes.

Not until he kills me. But he is taking his fucking time.

I look into her soft brown eyes, "He is the Alpha, and I am the slave. You know he can do whatever he wants with me."

"You can run away. I have thought about–"

But before she could finish what she had to say, I heard someone calling me.

"Slave! In the entertainment room. Now!"

I ignore the pain I feel almost constantly, and I hurry to see who is calling me. I know that if I take too long, I will receive another beating, and the beating I just received from Alpha Max painted my body with a lot of painful bruises. They will heal fast, though, and tomorrow, I will get new ones. "SLAVE!" I hear one more, and I recognize the Beta's voice before entering the room.

When I get inside, a fist hits me in the cheek, and I fall flat on my ass. I stand as fast as I can.

"Why the hell are you so slow? How many times do I have to call you?" the Beta asks me, full of anger.

"I-I a-am s-sorry, B-Beta Stefan," I apologize.

I hate stuttering, but all the years of abuse, torture, and submission made me stutter with almost everyone I speak to.

"Clean the room, and then bring snacks for my mate and me in our room!"

With that, Beta Stefan and Cristina, his mate, leave me alone to clean the mess they made. Each day he and Cristina destroy something just to make me do more work. The Beta enjoys punishing me just as much as Alpha Max does.

I spend around an hour organizing the room and then rush to get Beta Stefan the snacks he asked for. By now, I know what each pack member prefers to eat. Things that I am not allowed to eat. Things that I don't even remember what they taste like anymore.

When I am in front of the Beta's room, I knock on the door once, wait a few seconds, and enter.

Beta Stefan and Cristina are on the bed, under the comforter, and the room reeks of sex.

"You should have had brought this earlier. Lazy slave!" he yells at me.

"I-I am s-sorry, Beta. I-I finished as f-fast a-as I c-could."

I go to put the tray on the table, and I don't realize Beta Stefan got out of the bed until he yanks my hair, snapping my head to the back. He forces me to turn around, and I make sure never to look him in the eyes.

"You are not fast enough! Worthless, pathetic worm!"

Still gripping my hair, he punches me in the stomach as hard as he can. Then he drags me out of his room. The pain makes me want to vomit, but I know I don't have time to stop. I have so much to do.

I rush to prepare snacks for the entire pack. Once I am done with that, I bring wood into each room because it is already the end of October, and nights are getting colder. Then, I have to prepare the dining room for dinner. During this time, I get hit at least ten times more, spat at, and shoved more times than I can remember.

Most pack members call me slave or worm. I don't even remember the last time someone called me by my name. Ana's parents usually call me "boy" while Ana calls me V, but only when no one is close. Alpha Max has made it clear that I am to be called 'slave' or 'worm.' He usually prefers to call me 'piece of shit.'

Dinner is torture for me. I am always hungry because I only receive two slices of bread every two or three days. All the food smells always makes my mouth water, and my stomach growls, reminding me I haven't eaten for some time. Serving it to the pack is another kind of torture. But I remember I won't be getting any food in the next three days. And the last time I ate was...two days ago.

When the pack members start eating, I go to the kitchen, wanting to see if Mrs. Radu needs my help.

"You poor thing," Mrs. Radu says, looking at me. "You haven't eaten all day. And most likely, the day before, you also went hungry. When was the last time the Alpha gave you food?"

"I don't know," I say, not wanting to make her more worried than she is.

"You need to eat something," she says and goes to the pantry.

She gives me a slice of bread and one of cheese and makes me go to a corner of the kitchen.

"Eat fast, and don't let anyone see you," she tells me before leaving the kitchen.

I close my eyes, thinking that I should not eat the food because if Alpha Max catches me–I don't even want to think about what will happen if he finds me eating.

But I am so hungry. I need to eat something.

I take one bite from the bread when I hear a voice. His voice.

"Stealing from my food, slave?"

I freeze in fear. He sounds furious. So furious. I know what he does to me when he sounds this enraged. And it is all my fault. He told me that I couldn't eat for the next three days, and I disobeyed his order.

"I-I w-was hungry a-and–" I try to explain, but he punches me so hard in the cheek that my head hits the wall behind me.

"I will teach you to never steal from me again!" he growls at me.

He keeps hitting me with his fists. When he punches me in the stomach, and I fall on my hands and knees, he kicks me with his feet until I blackout.