Chapter 4- Lacey

After crying and sulking for a little bit, I decide to get up and explore the room. It’s a decently sized room. There’s a black four-poster bed. It’s a double-sized bed. There is a matching black dresser. I look inside. There are tons of black nightgowns. Some are simple, and cotton others are sexy. There are a few lacey bras and thongs. Near the bathroom door is a black desk with a matching chair. I notice there is a window, and I dart to it.

I move the black curtains with the hope that there might be a chance to escape. To my dismay, there are bars on the window. I also realize I’m at least two or three stories up. Even if there were no bars, I’d die or be severely hurt. From what I can tell, Ryan really did bring me to his home in his territory. There’s a full-fledge zombie horde outside. 

I head to the bathroom. It’s a full bath with a tub and shower combo. There’s a sink with a vanity and toilet. It’s a nice bathroom. I haven’t seen a bathroom in two years. I run my hands over everything in the bathroom because it’s hard to believe I’m in a real bathroom. Deciding I want to take a shower so that I can enjoy it. I was knocked out when I was cleaned. I don’t care if I’m cleaned. I haven’t enjoyed a real shower in a little over two years. I’m taking a damn shower. 

Turning on the shower, I hope there is hot water. Zombies love the cold. Cold weather, cold water, and AC is their best friend. Thankfully, there is hot water. I strip from my cotton black nightgown and quickly grab a new one. I refuse to put any of them damn sexy ones on. Clearly, Ryan thinks we are going to have sex. If early was any indication, I’ll end up giving in to him just like I did before. 

Before was different. I was innocent and falling in love with him. Who am I kidding? There might still be a part of me in love with Ryan even after he lied to me and left me to fend off a fucking zombie apocalypse that he was leading. My anger flares thinking about it, not to mention the pain in my heart that follows it. The shitty thing is no matter how angry I am at him, when the anger burns off, I’m still left with the pain. 

I find some towels in the small closet in the bathroom, then I find some shampoo, conditioner, and a bar of soap under the sink cabinet. I hop in the shower and enjoy the hot shower. I never thought I’d be soo happy to have a hot shower or sleep in a bed again. I never realized I took the simple things in life for granted till I no longer had those simple things. 

It all seemed like something everyone had: hot showers, a bed to sleep in, and food on the table. Even though I know there were those without, I never thought much about it because I had it. If anything, the zombies taking over humbled a lot of humans. Suddenly, all the things we took for granted were gone. 

Ryan might be keeping me as his prisoner, but at least I’m not in a cold, damp cell. I don’t know why he has me here or why he even bothered to come back for me. It can’t be because he cares or loves me in return. Honestly, I never knew what I was to Ryan, even when he was flirting with me, kissing me, and touching me. The night he took my virginity, I wasn’t fully ready for sex, but he was so desperate to have me that I thought maybe it was because I meant something to him. I gave in to his seduction. 

For all I know, his need for sex could have been part of his transition. Maybe it was his last attempt to feel human before he fully turned. I don’t know why he chose that moment to seduce me. My mind travels to the night as I sit down in the shower letting the warm water wash over me. 

We were in our tent, lying down next to each other. I had closed my eyes, attempting to get sleep, when Ryan started kissing me. His hand traveled down my pants, and he started playing with my clit. I tried to pause what was happening, shocked that he was making such a bold move. 

“After tonight, we won’t be together for a while, Lacey. I promise I’ll come back for you, but this is our last night together for a while.” Ryan informed as he never stopped rubbing my clit. 

I didn’t understand his words then. I tried questioning him, but I got lost in the pleasure he was bringing me. I gave into him, and when he gave me a few orgasms, I was soaking wet for him. He pulled down my pants and fucked me like it was the last he might see me. 

I might have been a virgin, but I knew he wasn’t being gentle with me. I felt like he was claiming, and there was a connection between us I couldn’t explain. When Ryan was done, he fixed my pants and tucked me in before he told me to get some rest. 

The next morning he was gone, and I was left wondering what the hell had happened the night before. I gave him something I could give no other, and he disappeared on me. That part hurt the most. I gave in to his seduction, I gave him part of myself, and then he left me. I felt used and abandoned. 

Now, I’m back with him all these years later. I told myself that if I saw him again, I wouldn’t give in to the insane control he has over me. Clearly, he still has control over me. He started kissing me and caved. Part of me wanted it, craved his touch, and wanted to be with him again. The other part of me was cursing myself for being so weak when it comes to Ryan. Thankfully, he got called away because I don’t know if I would have stopped him if he decided he wanted to fuck me. 

The problem is, he’s going to be back. He will visit me as often as he likes, and I have no idea what he might do each time he comes to me. The next time he touches me, kisses me, or does anything sexual, I doubt I’ll stop him. I also doubt he will be interrupted every time. This is all providing I’m here for sex and not something more sinister. I can’t imagine why he would want me for sex. Doesn’t he have a horde of zombie chicks he can fuck? Why would he want me? However, earlier, it sure seemed like he wanted me and only me. 

I’m going to go insane here. There’s no way around it. I can’t make up my mind how I feel about Ryan. I’m conflicted, torn, and unable to decide where I stand. Even if I did choose, it doesn’t mean I will stick with the choice. My resolve means nothing around Ryan because it never has. Ryan’s had a hold on me since he stopped my bullies three years ago. I’m putty in his hands. I can’t explain why it’s that way, but it is. If soulmates are a thing, then I got fucking screwed being destined to be with sociopathic zombies.