chapter 3

I walked back and forth in my room, trying to figure out how everything went so wrong. My mind was a mess of regret and confusion. How did I let it get this bad? I had no idea what Kurtis would do now, after finding out the truth. The last thing I wanted was to hurt him, but I had done just that.

The knock on my door startled me. It was late, too late for anyone to be knocking, especially at this hour. My heart pounded in my chest, and I felt a cold sweat break out on my forehead. I froze, unsure whether to answer or stay silent. Who could it be? What did they want at this time?

Kurtis stood there, his face twisted in anger, his eyes wild with a pain I had never seen before. My heart sank. This wasn’t the man I had come to love; this was someone else entirely, someone consumed by rage and betrayal.

"Kurtis" I started, but he cut me off, his voice cold and harsh.

"Don’t you dare say my name," he snapped, stepping into the room and slamming the door behind him. "I can’t even look at you right now without wanting to" He stopped himself, breathing heavily, his fists clenched at his sides.

I stepped back without thinking, my heart racing. "Kurtis, please, just listen”

“Listen? Listen to what? More lies?” His voice was laced with venom as he took a step toward me. “You’ve already said enough. Do you have any idea what you’ve done? How have you made me feel?”

“I never meant to hurt you,” I whispered, tears welling up in my eyes. “It wasn’t supposed to go this far. I’m so sorry, Kurtis.”

“Sorry?” He laughed, a bitter, hollow sound. “Sorry doesn’t even begin to cover it, Lyra. You pretended to be her, to be Angela, and I” His voice broke, and for a moment, I saw a flash of the pain behind his anger. “I trusted you. I thought you were the one.”

He was just inches away from me now, and I could feel the heat of his anger. I swallowed hard, my back pressing against the wall as I tried to find the right words, anything to calm him down. But before I could speak, his hands were on me, gripping my shoulders so tightly it hurt.

“You made a fool out of me,” he hissed, his face close to mine. “Do you know what that feels like? To love someone, to think they’re everything, only to find out it was all a lie?”

“Kurtis, I’m so…” I tried to apologize again, but he didn’t let me finish.

“You’re sorry?” He pushed me against the wall, his body pressing against mine, trapping me. “Sorry doesn’t change what you did.”

I gasped as his lips crashed onto mine, a kiss that was anything but tender. It was rough, punishing, and full of anger he couldn’t express in words. I tried to pull away, but he held me in place, his hands gripping my wrists, pinning them above my head.

“Kurtis, stop” I managed to say between his harsh kisses, but he didn’t listen. He was lost in his rage, his need to make me feel the same pain he was going through.

His mouth moved to my neck, biting down hard enough to make me cry out. Tears streamed down my face, but he didn’t stop. His hands moved over my body, each touch a harsh reminder of the trust I had broken.

“Is this what you wanted?” he muttered against my skin, his voice low and dangerous. “Is this what you were playing all along? You wanted me to want you, didn’t you?”

“No, Kurtis, please, it’s not like that,” I pleaded, trying to break free, but his hold only tightened.

“You don’t get to tell me what it’s like,” he growled, pulling me away from the wall and pushing me onto the bed. I landed hard, and before I could even sit up, he was on top of me, his hands grabbing my wrists again, pinning me down.

“Kurtis, please!” I cried out, but my words were drowned out by his anger. His eyes were dark, filled with a mix of hurt and fury that terrified me.

“You lied to me,” he said, his voice low and menacing. “You made me believe in something that wasn’t real. Now you’re going to know how that feels.”

His mouth was on mine again, forceful and unyielding. I could taste the bitterness of his betrayal and feel the anger in every movement. My heart was breaking all over again, not just for myself, but for him, for what I had done to him, for the pain I had caused.

But under the anger, I felt something else, something desperate and raw, as if he was trying to hurt me the way I had hurt him, but also trying to hold on to what little we had left. It was confusing and overwhelming, and it tore at me from the inside out.

“Kurtis,” I whispered against his lips, my voice trembling. “Please, don’t do this. I never wanted to hurt you. I love you.”

He froze at my words, his grip on my wrists loosening just a fraction. For a moment, his eyes met mine, and I saw the conflict there, the war between his anger and the feelings he couldn’t just turn off.

But then he shook his head as if trying to rid himself of whatever was holding him back. “Love?” he scoffed, though his voice wavered. “You don’t get to say that to me.”

His hands released my wrists, but only to grab my face, forcing me to look at him. “You don’t get to say that after everything you’ve done.”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, my tears spilling onto his hands. “I’m so, so sorry.”

He stared at me, his breath coming in ragged gasps, his grip on my face slowly softening. “Lyra…”

There was a flicker of something in his eyes, something that made my heart ache even more. But just as quickly as it appeared, it was gone, replaced by the anger he was clinging to.

“I can’t do this,” he said, his voice breaking as he pulled away from me, standing up and running a hand through his hair. “I can’t even look at you right now.”

He turned away, and I could see the tension in his shoulders, the way he was fighting to keep himself together. I wanted to reach out to him, to say something, anything that might fix what I had broken, but I couldn’t find the words.

“I need to get out of here,” he muttered, his voice barely above a whisper. He didn’t wait for me to respond. He just walked out, leaving me alone in the darkness, my body trembling with the aftermath of what had just happened.

As the door closed behind him, I curled up on the bed, my sobs finally breaking free. I had never felt so lost, so utterly alone. The man I loved was gone, and it was all my fault.