Chapter Thirteen - Fit Together

“The smell?”

“Well you know how Gran has always given me smells to learn?” Lia said, “It isn’t always a herb or flower. There is one scent in particular that she never named, but she told me it was pure evil, the worst kind of danger and I should always be afraid of it. If I smelled that smell, I was supposed to get to your place as fast as possible. The strange thing was, I sometimes caught a whiff of it at your house, which was confusing because why would a scent I should run from be in what was supposed to be the safest place? But I guess if she wanted me to stay away from werewolves, she would have taught me to stay away from some smell almost every werewolf has, but that smell would also be in your house at least sometimes if you were all werewolves.” She shrugged, looking from one girl to the other to see if she was making any sense.

“You’re taking this a lot better than I expected.” Ellie said.

“It’s been years since you thought all the werewolf tales were anything but silly stories,” Elsie added, “are you really able to believe us so easily?”

“Well...I guess. There are a few other things I’ve noticed over the years that just didn’t fit somehow, and now they sort of just do. And recently I’ve kind of started wondering how much reality there is in some of Gran’s stories. I guess you’ve just confirmed that there is a lot of reality in those tales. Like...all of them.” She shivered with the thought of the evil moon goddess watching her that night in the yard. Had that beautiful black animal been a werewolf there to steal her away into the night?

“Well, sort of...but...uhm”

“But what?”

“Well your gran’s tales about werewolves are a bit creepy and her view of moon goddess is a lot different from what we’ve been taught.”

“How?”

“Almost completely opposite actually. We’ll have to get into that soon, but first, just so you know, Mr. Timmins is one too, a werewolf I mean, but he’s more like an Ontario grey wolf than a timber wolf. He picked his name from the first city where he lived before he completely left his pack. And then there’s Jasper. He’s smaller when he turns wolf, and sort of a reddish brown colour. He ran all the way from southern Alberta! He has to be careful when he runs as a wolf now, if humans find him they’ll take him back out west because the red wolf population needs a wider gene pool. Anyways, he met Mr. Timmins and they joined up ‘cause it’s easier to hunt with more than one wolf. Then they met us and decided to come to Nova Scotia too. On the way, we met your Gran-”

“Woah, Woah, hold up. Gran is a werewolf? All those stories she always told about how horrible wolves and werewolves are, and she IS one?”

“Uhm… yeah. From way up north, we think, though she never really talks about it. Mom and dad just kinda pieced little hints from her stories together over the years and with the colour of her fur they figure that must be where she traveled from. If she is, then you’d both probably look like arctic wolves when you shift. All white and fluffy, which would make sense with your hair,” Ellie said with a shrug, as though it were the most natural thing in the world, and explained everything.

“So, we’re white wolves because we have white hair? But you’re a grey wolf and your hair is definitely brown.

“Regular hair colour can change, but some things are genetic markers that hold colour, get it? Like, we can still see Elsie’s reddish birthmark. But adding coulour when you genetically don’t have any? That would be harder I think. Your hair is white, not blond, and your eyes are blue which is basically the same as a lack of pigment for human eyes, so I think that means you’re lacking the colour genes. You know, like an albino? But for arctic animals, it got genetically selected over time because it’s good camouflage in the north. Regardless, we think it’s a lack of colour in hair-generating cells. I think it makes sense that way. And old werewolves go grey on both their human and their wolf at about the same time.” She shrugged, “I could be wrong though, but that’s what Elsie and I think. We’ve been studying werewolf history, and, well werewolves are just werewolves, no matter their colour, so it doesn’t really matter to the wolves unless it’s better camo so they can catch more prey. The whole pack is usually very similar, but not always. When humans started tracking which wolves lived where werewolves sort of moved around to settle near the wolves who looked most like them to draw less attention to themselves. Or at least close enough to go there when they want to run as wolves. Sometimes the werewolf has to leave their own pack territory and then looks different, that’s when humans get uptight wondering how a wolf of a different type got there and yadda yadda. Humans care about colour, werewolves don’t. They like to segregate us, but if they left us alone we’d just blend. Whether you're talking about human skin or wolf fur colour is pretty meaningless to us, we’re all just werewolves. It matters to humans, and it can matter to our prey, but other than that we don’t care. Size is important, as well as intelligence, speed, and strength, but not colour.” They were quiet for a few moments, the only sound in the room the soft cracking of the fire.

“How can I be a werewolf and not know it? Wouldn’t I know when I change into a wolf or is it like schizophrenia and you have no idea what you’ve done as a wolf?” Lia asked uncertainly.

“Well no, you would know, if you’d ever changed, but you need to go outside during a full moon to change, and Gran never took you out at night so...” Ellie shrugged.

“Never go out in the dark,” Lia repeated softly, staring over at her gran. Gran had stopped her from turning into a wolf. Gran had taught her that werewolves were bad. Why?

“Lia,” Elsie interrupted her thoughts, “do you remember when we were younger, and you used to say that a voice in your head was telling you to do naughty things? Like spraying Jasper with the cold water from the hose when he was busy digging that hole, chasing the sheep all around the yard, stealing the eggs from the hen house?” Lia nodded, a distant look on her face as she remembered all the things that voice had said over the years. “That was your wolf talking to you. I think she’s a bit of a mischief maker, your wolf,” Elsie continued, “which is a good balance for you since you’re usually so deliberate and logical.”

“I mostly try to ignore that voice,” Lia admitted, “It usually gets me in trouble. Gran has always said it was the evil goddess trying to tempt me.”

“Tempt you to have some fun maybe,” Ellie said with a shrug, “sometimes we got in trouble for doing what your wolf wanted us to do, but it was always a shit tonne of fun first, wasn’t it? And it wasn’t ever anything really mean; nobody ever got really hurt.”

“Why doesn’t Gran want me to know what I am? Why would she keep it from me? Why did she tell me tales to make me afraid of myself? Of her? Of so many of my friends?”

“She’s the only one who can answer that for certain, Lia, but I think she thought she was protecting you,” Ellie said. “Well actually, we overheard our parents saying that is what they think. They were worried about what would happen if you went out on the full moon without knowing, so your gran was going to tell you soon before you turned eighteen. Your birthday is actually on the next full moon, so everyone thought you should know by then in case you decided to go out that night to celebrate your birthday. Naturally, she was hoping you’d choose to stay out of the moon, but the rest of us were hoping you’d join us. The most important thing though was that you not go out on the full moon and change for the first time without knowing what was happening.”

“Bad things have happened to werewolves when they find out that way,” Elsie’s wispy voice was extra quiet. “Mentally I mean, it’s sort of a shock.”

“Everyone was really starting to worry you’d sneak out and change, then freak out and make yourself even more of an outsider than your Gran is, or worse,” Ellie took over, “Werewolves who change unaware and make a kill in wolf form usually commit suicide as soon as they turn back. We’ve been getting more and more worried as you got older, and then you snuck out at night! Fortunately, it was a few days after the full moon, so you didn’t do your first shift.”

“You must have felt strange though, in the moonlight. Did you?” Asked Elsie, a knowing look in her eyes.

“A bit warm tingly when the moonlight touched my skin,” Lia admitted remembering the odd feeling.

“That was your fur sprouting,” Elsie said with a nod. “If you’d looked closely, you’d have noticed extra hair.”

“We’re also a bit concerned about how you’ll adapt to life as a werewolf. I mean real werewolf life because it isn’t like the stories you know. You’re Gran told you some pretty crazy tales, so we’re all a bit worried that it is going to be hard for you to process the way things really are for the rest of us.” Ellie said.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, let’s start with the moon goddess. We were taught she’s good to werewolves. She helps us to form lifelong bonds by making matches between wolves. She stabilizes our moods and provides guidance. She a good force and source of strength for werewolves, not some…some evil enchantress.”

“Excuse me, Mother Luna,” Elsie said calmly. The other girls started, not realizing the woman had come into the room. “Would there happen to be any children’s storybooks in the house? Any werewolf tales at all, but specifically ones about the moon goddess?”

“Why on earth do you girls want to read children’s story books?”

“Well Lia didn’t grow up in a pack, so she hasn’t had much access to the stories.”

“Oh my goodness,” said the older woman, “if she’s going to raise the future Alpha she needs to know all of our stories!”

Lia scowled, knowing she’d missed something again. Raise the future Alpha? What was an Alpha? Why would she raise one?

“Well, she does know the stories her Gran told her,” Ellie rushed in to make sure her friend didn’t voice any of her questions. “but they’re different than the ones our parents told us. Selene wasn’t from around here either, so we’re wondering if maybe the stories are a little bit different for each pack. Or maybe just each province? We lone wolves are a bit of a motley crew and there are several versions of some of the stories. We aren’t sure how well the stories mesh with each other, especially since none of us know the tales from this pack. We thought it might be good for us to read them and compare them to the stories we know.”

“That’s a good idea,” said Mother Luna thoughtfully, “With so many packs having to share the land these days it would be good to develop a better understanding of each other. Perhaps I’ll see if we can acquire some books from other packs to introduce at our schools… But for today, if Liana is feeling up to it, you three are free to use the library here if you like. Down the hall to your left, last door on the right.”

“Thank you,” Ellie and Elsie said together as they helped Lia to her feet.

“Are you sure you’re all right, dear?” Mother Luna asked, the concern in her eyes apparent.

“Yes,” Lia said, deciding it was likely best not to mention that there was an annoying hum in her head and it was starting to ache a bit. She could ask for some feverfew tea later. For now, she was too curious about too many things to stop for tea. If she admitted to the noise, she might not be able to get to the library.

“Well alright. But walk slowly, okay? And rest on the way if you need to.” Lia nodded, her mind so full of questions now that she had absolutely no idea where to start.