Bun in the Oven?

 DESTINY

Mrs. Donahue came upstairs to look for me. I must have looked a sight, because she took one look at me and demanded to call the doctor.

“No, please, Mrs. Donahue. I’ll be fine. I just had some bad reaction to the pizza we had last night. Or it might have been the beer.”

“Hmm….” She felt my forehead. “No fever. Well, then. What you need is some proper food. No wonder you pick up all sorts of bugs, eating al lot of shite.” She tut-tutted, “Such a shame about Lord Barrington, poor dear. Working himself to death, he is.”

“We visited with him last night. He is recovering.”

“Well, thank the good Lord for that, eh. Well, I’ll not bother ye. Ye rest up, Lass. I will make you some chicken broth, perk ye right up.” Her smile made her round cheeks look like little red apples. She left and I snuggled down under the covers.

My phone dinged and I grabbed it to see who was texting me. Of course, it was James.

‘Hey Sugar, just want to know if you feel better. XXX.’

I texted back. ‘I’m fine. Mrs. Donahue is making me some soup.’

‘You’re in good hands then. C u soon.’

I started to text back, ‘Luv u’ then I deleted it and wrote ‘K’ instead. Love you. Oh my God! What is wrong with me. No, it was just a reflex I didn’t mean it. Thank goodness I stopped myself before sending it. What would he have texted back though?

***

“Well, happy to see you’ve made a recovery, dearie.” Mrs. Donahue said watching me eat her broth with her small hands folded across her rounded belly.

“It’s lovely, thank you, Mrs. Donahue.” I felt better after a long nap and a hot bath.

“You sure it’s just something you ate, Lass?” she smiled, winking at me. “Couldn’t be a little bun in the oven, if I may be so bold to say?”

What? I dropped the spoon into the bowl, feeling suddenly sick to my stomach all over again. No, no, it couldn’t be. James assured me he had a vasectomy. I wanted to slap myself. He could have lied. Would he lie about it?

“No, no that’s impossible, Mrs. Donahue,” I faked a laugh. Oh, he’d better be telling the truth.

“If you say so, Lass.” She smiled to herself and went about cleaning the kitchen.

***

I wanted to confront James right away to show me the proof that he indeed had a vasectomy, but the moment he walked through the door, he looked so miserable, I couldn’t.

“Bad day at the office?” I followed him through to the entertainment room where he poured himself a double.

“You want one?” he offered.

I shook my head, not wanting to upset my stomach any further.

“I guess it depends on how you look at it.” He sighed as he plonked down onto the couch, swirling the ice around in the glass. “But nothing to worry about, Sugar. Are you feeling better?”

“Umm…. Yes, I’m fine. Mrs. Donahue cooked up a storm today. Your dinner is in the oven. I’ve already eaten.” I added quickly, because to tell the truth I was starting to feel a bit green.

“Have you heard news from the hospital?”

“I went there before coming home. He looks better. Already arguing with the doctor to discharge him.” James sipped his drink. “If he knew what was good for him, he’d stay there a bit longer. At least it will give me time to sort out the mess.”

“Oh, that sounds bad.”

“Just some trouble with the finances. I need to go through some financial reports.”

“And here I thought you were just a wild, biker playboy.”

“I have a degree in finance. Boring stuff, Sugar.” He pulled a face.

I looked at my feet, feeling suddenly stupid. “Wow. I didn’t even finish school.”

“Really? Why not?” He looked surprised.

“After Mum left my dad was a mess. I dropped out to get work.” There was no point in keeping it from him.

James shook his head. “Unfair to you, Sugar. Parents are supposed to look after their kids, not the other way around.”

“I couldn’t just leave him.” I remembered how pitiful he was, but he was still my Daddy. “He’s my family.”

“You could still finish school. If you want. I’ll help you.” He put his glass down and pulled me closer. “Instead of working, rather study. You could be whatever you want to be, Destiny.” His face so close to mine had the softest expression and in that moment, I loved him so, so much there was no denying it. I was in love with James Barrington.

***

I went to bed early and James stayed up late in his study. When I woke up, I noticed he hadn’t slept in the bed and being worried I got up to check on him. But as soon as my feet hit the floor I was overcome with a wave of dizziness and nausea. The room spun around me like a crazy carousel, and I staggered towards the bathroom.

I barely made it to the toilet. Seconds later I became aware of James hovering over me.

“Again? I am calling the doctor.”

Before I could protest, he was gone. Mrs. Donahue’s words revolved in my head, a little bun in the oven. No, please no. I can’t be pregnant. I am too young to be a mother. I’ll be a terrible mother. I had no role model.

He was back a few minutes later. I was crying, sitting on the cold tile floor, next to the toilet, such a pretty picture.

“James, what if I am pregnant?” I wailed, totally mortified.

James shook his head, “Don’t be ridiculous. I told you it wouldn’t be possible.” He helped me to my feet, “You’ve just caught something, Sugar.”

“Are you sure? You didn’t lie to me?” I sniffed loudly.

“I can show you the proof, if that makes you feel better?” He smiled, handing me a tissue. “I’m taking you to our family doctor, Dr. Levi. He’s been the Barrington’s physician since I can remember.”

“That doesn’t make me feel any better.” I blew my nose and handed the tissue back to him. Holding the tissue with two fingers, he dropped it into the waste basket.

Sugar Dumpling, you have nothing to worry about.” James kissed my forehead. I hoped he was right.

***

Dr. Levi was as old as I expected. He had a kind face with a bulbous nose that spoke of his love for alcohol. But his eyes were sharp and clear, like a ferret’s.

“So, what seems to be the problem, young Mr. Barrington? I believe this is your lovely wife?” His hands were cold, but his grip was firm.

“I believe my lovely wife caught a bug on our honeymoon.” James grinned at him.

The old man peered at me, lifting one grey eyebrow. “Nausea and dizziness? Especially in the mornings, Ma’am?”

I nodded, too scared to say a word. He chuckled and scribbled something in the file they opened for me at reception. “I believe we need to do a pregnancy test, Mr. Barrington.”

“Pardon?” James’ face went a shade lighter. I wanted to sink into the floor.

“Yes, well, it’s not uncommon for newlyweds.”

James laughed, “I don’t think it would be possible. I had a vasectomy two years ago.”

The doctor offered him a shrug. “Anything is possible but let us do the test and we will go from there. Shall we?” He extended his arm towards the door for me to walk through.

***

The wait was killing me. James sat silent like Stone Henge. My brain played different scenarios over and over. James taking my child (if there was one) after three years and kicking me out. Then there was the other scenario; what if Jenna’s baby was really James’ and not Lord Barrington’s? What if James didn’t want a baby? Would he force me to have an abortion? I started hyperventilating and another bout of nausea brought me to my knees just as the doctor stepped back into the consulting room.