Since it was a Monday and I didn’t have to work, I locked in a few more meetings for later in the week, securing the meeting with T Mobile first. It was a little after 1pm, rainy out, and I was frustrated on so many levels. I decided to get up, cook, and make it a lazy day in. Parker was still here being concerned, telling me he could make a few phone calls if I needed. Since I enjoyed and needed the company, I played my role. Parker and I sat, talked, and watched a few movies while I prepared a soul food dinner.
I was Creole’d out from the wedding, so I made sure there was no seafood or anything spicy on today’s menu. I had been blessed with exceptional old school cooking skills from my mother. I don’t remember much about my grandmother, other than sitting on her lap eating crab cakes at a retro themed diner and suddenly longing for her at some point of my childhood. Smitty’s mother never really talked to me so I had gotten all my wisdom and homemaking skills from my mother
Warning: The content within this chapters contains sensitive subject matters that involves rape, drug use and incest. Reader discretion is strongly advised
I hit Lake Shore drive heading south toward the city. It was yet another beautiful day in Chicago especially with this stunning view from the outer drive. I let the top down on my white-on-white Audi RS 5 Cabriolet and did a turtle crawl in traffic until switching expressways to take me to the southern suburbs. Once I had a flow and was allowed to cruise at least 70mph I switched over from DJ Nehpets rush our mix to my Bluetooth and turned on my ‘cruise and ride’ playlist. This particular list started with a little bit of old school rap like LL Cool J’s ‘Hey Lover’ and by the end of 50 songs I was in a new era acting like I was 21 again, replicating every line of Bank Rolls ‘Pop It’. Finally making it into the suburbs a little after 6, I stopped at a liquor store to pick up a couple packs of cigarettes and wine for Mama, as well as a little celebration/relaxation bottle for Isa and me. I also grabbed some cheese puffs, a green fifty cent juice; the type you can squeeze like
The police station was a noisy and chaotic place to have to be on a Thursday afternoon. I unexpectantly got called in for a few questions while at work and was not looking forward to having hours of my already busy schedule being taken away. I hadn’t had time to join the staff at work for lunch and since this trip was unplanned, not only am I irritated and off balance, I’m starving. I’d gotten here nearly an hour ago per the request of Officer Scrawny whom still has yet to retrieve me and ask what he needs. The cold metal bench he has me waiting on has me shivering from the inside out; not to mention it happens to host a couple of street walkers, nodding off because their system is full of heroin. Handcuffed to the bench and seated right next to me with the stench of ‘all day’ that’s starting to take a stomach-churning turn; I was at my wits end. Before completely losing it, I decided to get up and approach the officer seated at the entrance desk. “Excuse me Miss, but I’ve g
I found myself feeling anxious and overwhelmed. I thanked God for my therapist because I was in desperate need of a session; I had slept with one too many this week, which had begun to play on my conscience.I pulled into his Hyde Park office and immediately felt a sense of calm; Dr. Reeder offered liberation to my strange world. I never really expressed what was truly going on with me or how I in fact felt to anyone except him; Dr. Reeder never judged me or made me feel like I was a mutant. He always gave realistic advice and did exactly what I needed him to do; listen. He was at least 50 plus years old and far from attractive. I needed Dr. Reeder because he reminded me of a father that didn’t try to sleep with, abuse, or misdirect me in any fashion. I believe he understood what I needed and as much as he charged, he had better see me at any hour of the day. I climbed on to his tiny jade sofa while he gave me a tiny pill and water as we normally would do at the s
Instead of eating first I decided to meet with Maleek at the mall and consider dining out together afterwards. I did that because I didn’t know how I was going to feel after our walk through the mall while we talked. I wasn’t feeling him or the call I received before getting here; it was going to take a pretty penny to convince me to go to lunch. I was sure to wear my best fitting Balmain jeans, comfortable walking cowboy style open-toe boots from Free Bird, and pink crop top that supports breast cancer. I pulled my hair back in an effortless ponytail and tried to look comfortable but stimulating at the same time. I needed for Maleek to see what he lost and what someone else was sure to gain.It was judgment day for Maleek, I had to be prepared for whatever daggers he had planned to throw. I ate a bagel with cream cheese before downing a couple shots of tequila and smoking some weed to help calm my nerves. The triple combo was the extra courage I needed to handle
My home was unusually dark as I pulled into my driveway noticing the sensor light didn’t turn on as it normally did when someone got within steps of the house. Further observation noticed my flowerpots were kicked over and dirt was scattered across my lawn and walkway. Being on instant guard I got my pistol out my glove compartment before getting out the car and trying piece together what was going on. My days were becoming more and more surprising, and I didn’t understand why and what was happening to me. Did someone try to break in or was it just some bad school kids that kicked over my pot and busted out my porch light? I was hoping my school kid theory was more likely than a break in.I walked around the perimeter of my home to see if I had any broken access to entry points. I approached my front door slowly realizing it couldn’t be a break in, windows and everything else were still in tack. There was a package on my porch that looked untouched, so with
The room stood still for a moment as I stared at Maleek and tried my best to digest the current events that went from a full-on circus on my front porch and continued to unfold in my living room. I could feel my heart break and believed my entire neighborhood could hear it shattering as well. The impact of my current reality taunted my frame of mind in a way I had never felt before. I couldn’t believe the character I was staring down, who I was just about to give another chance. Moreover, I believe I was more in shock with who had been in a marriage with.Maleek was with a well-known openly gay shoe designer who had published a huge tell all about how he cheated on his man with a woman, resulting in a baby. Sam Smith ended up gaining sole custody of the child due to the mother leaving the child on their doorstep when she was a couple weeks old, supposedly. He believed his love with his husband was fate because he had been forgiven and blessed with a child. I had read th
I lay tossing and turning trying my best to get some sleep, but my mind was racing. The alcohol and sexual experience I recently had with Maleek had me feeling both frivolous and furious at the same time. At this particular moment using my vibrator would be futile, it wouldn’t take my mind or my body where they needed to go. My womb had a throb to it like no other, my insides were boiling hot, and every inch of me felt sensitive; I couldn’t even caress my own breast! I couldn’t believe and was even more annoyed that I was feeling like this. My body hadn’t felt this way in years, not since before being sexually active with Maleek. Once I started sleeping with him my normal sexual urges went away and I was a more contented, relaxed individual. I had once asked my shrink what he thought it meant, and his reply was “with every addiction, there is a cure, and you my dear have found your cure.” Maleek was my cure. No matter how long I went without being sexual with Maleek, the urges wouldn’
The familiar dusk air was hot and murky with no sign of any sort of a breeze; I could feel my hair drawing up into a frizz as we exited the Louis Armstrong New Orleans International Airport. Mama’s strides were slow and uneasy, a look of sadness quickly covered her face, and her lasting impression gave way to the fact of her not wanting to be here. Isa on the other hand had the look of despair, almost angry and annoyed. She marched rather quickly toward the rental car area stomping; Izzy dangling from her arms. I could feel my knees begin to tremble ready to give way as my heart seemed to thump louder than my heels hitting the hard ground. Neither of us wanted to be in this place, the depraved memories began to resurface as we piled ourselves inside the over-the-top luxury rental SUV. “Isa, what made you rent this truck?” Zion jumped in, “More like who let you afford this truck, it’s got to be running you at least six hundred a day?” We all looked at Isa with curiosity, waiti
I took my sweaty clothes off, mentally reminding myself to burn them in my backyard when I got home. Hot, perplexed, and still very much off-kilter, I turned on the air conditioner and sat to check my phone for notifications worth responding to. I had a couple of missed calls and messages from Holland and Maleek, seeing how I was holding up. Ignoring them, I offered no response, not even via text; there was nothing left in me to be able to relive the details of my day all over again. Perhaps checking my phone was a false hope of having a call from my mother, newly found sibling, or father for some odd reason. I wanted answers, an explanation for my traumatic ass childhood. I felt depleted; my nerves were shot, and my blood pressure had to be sky-high. Skimming through my carry-on for something to help calm my nerves, I ran across an old prescription of Xanax that had been prescribed to me around the time Maleek and I split up. Not caring that the pills were probably expired and purpos
I finally caught up with my mother who was talking to Lori, Izzy on her hip growing impatient. I interrupted the conversation by scooping the baby up into my arms giving Mama some relief. “I was just speaking to your mother trying to convince her to at least come to the repass. We have a southern buffet and I really would like to catch up with all of you to honestly see how things have been going.” I turned to my other awaiting a response from her, “I don’t think that’s a good idea especially with this stalker crap going on.” Mama was right we still didn’t know who the stalker was and that would have us exposed to anything seeing how we would no longer be in the house of the Lord. I don’t think Mother or any of us was in the mood for yet another shootout at a family function. “It is a bad idea. Maybe we’ll just stay in touch or something Lori.” I grabbed my mother’s hand to head to the truck. While we walked I looked and listened hard to the people around me, trying to matc
The ride over to the church seemed long and awkwardly quiet. Having security made me feel uncomfortable about talking about real issues so I kept playing with my phone. “I’m kind of glad right now for the security. On top of the calls and hanging up, whoever it is, is starting to send text messages talking about how they’re gonna meet me at the funeral.” “Whoever it is got me messed up, I’m down here with my daughters and grandson. Security or not your mother is strapped and ready for anything that comes our way today. This ain’t momma out here in these streets today ladies, it’s JoAnne.” “Wait Mama you brought your gun?” “I sure the hell did. After killing that bastard, weird things have been happening to me and to Edily. I feel like I have to stay ready for anything.” “That’s exactly why I called security, so we could fee
“Yep, I sure did! Plus, I brought some craw boil and another bottle of Patron from the club. Sorry it’s not full but I couldn’t get a full bottle without Unc noticing.” She smiled nervously handing Theory the bottle as I walked toward the elevator. I was very much turned on by the little denim shorts and strappy heels Torian was wearing. Her skin glowed more now than it did in the club, her body more full and ripe. Her beauty compiled with Parker’s audacious demeanor caused me to lose control; I pinned Torian against the wall of the elevator kissing her neck to get a scent of her skin. I'd been eager to see what she had smelled like all evening. She shivered lightly, obviously nervous about what may have been getting ready to take place. “Are you alright?” I whispered. “I’m okay, just never been with a woman or man on this level or stature. I just hope ya’ll enjoy me. I hope I’m good enough for ya’ll.” I kissed her again this time on her lips. The way she kissed me back let
A chocolate, petite, younger woman brought the bottle over to our table offering to pour. Attracted to her natural features, I couldn’t help but flirt with the gorgeous woman filling our glasses one by one. “So, what’s your name beautiful?” She shyly smiled before filling my glass and eagerly answering, “It’s Torian. You’re Edily Graham, right?” Delighted that she knew who I was I extended my hand to grab and kiss hers, “I am. How’d you know?” “My uncle has been talking about you and your artist Prime Theory there for weeks now. Uncle Craig said you favor one of our regulars and well ya’ artist is true talent. He couldn’t wait to get ya’ll up in here and now I sees why!” Her accent and lack of annunciation were worse than Smitty’s, but it didn’t stop my attraction to her. “Ya’ll want me to get some menus, we gots’ the best craw boil from here to well, anywhere?” The three of us laughed at her humor and agreed to get a couple of menus. Zion leaned in closer to me, “
The familiar dusk air was hot and murky with no sign of any sort of a breeze; I could feel my hair drawing up into a frizz as we exited the Louis Armstrong New Orleans International Airport. Mama’s strides were slow and uneasy, a look of sadness quickly covered her face, and her lasting impression gave way to the fact of her not wanting to be here. Isa on the other hand had the look of despair, almost angry and annoyed. She marched rather quickly toward the rental car area stomping; Izzy dangling from her arms. I could feel my knees begin to tremble ready to give way as my heart seemed to thump louder than my heels hitting the hard ground. Neither of us wanted to be in this place, the depraved memories began to resurface as we piled ourselves inside the over-the-top luxury rental SUV. “Isa, what made you rent this truck?” Zion jumped in, “More like who let you afford this truck, it’s got to be running you at least six hundred a day?” We all looked at Isa with curiosity, waiti
I lay tossing and turning trying my best to get some sleep, but my mind was racing. The alcohol and sexual experience I recently had with Maleek had me feeling both frivolous and furious at the same time. At this particular moment using my vibrator would be futile, it wouldn’t take my mind or my body where they needed to go. My womb had a throb to it like no other, my insides were boiling hot, and every inch of me felt sensitive; I couldn’t even caress my own breast! I couldn’t believe and was even more annoyed that I was feeling like this. My body hadn’t felt this way in years, not since before being sexually active with Maleek. Once I started sleeping with him my normal sexual urges went away and I was a more contented, relaxed individual. I had once asked my shrink what he thought it meant, and his reply was “with every addiction, there is a cure, and you my dear have found your cure.” Maleek was my cure. No matter how long I went without being sexual with Maleek, the urges wouldn’
The room stood still for a moment as I stared at Maleek and tried my best to digest the current events that went from a full-on circus on my front porch and continued to unfold in my living room. I could feel my heart break and believed my entire neighborhood could hear it shattering as well. The impact of my current reality taunted my frame of mind in a way I had never felt before. I couldn’t believe the character I was staring down, who I was just about to give another chance. Moreover, I believe I was more in shock with who had been in a marriage with.Maleek was with a well-known openly gay shoe designer who had published a huge tell all about how he cheated on his man with a woman, resulting in a baby. Sam Smith ended up gaining sole custody of the child due to the mother leaving the child on their doorstep when she was a couple weeks old, supposedly. He believed his love with his husband was fate because he had been forgiven and blessed with a child. I had read th
My home was unusually dark as I pulled into my driveway noticing the sensor light didn’t turn on as it normally did when someone got within steps of the house. Further observation noticed my flowerpots were kicked over and dirt was scattered across my lawn and walkway. Being on instant guard I got my pistol out my glove compartment before getting out the car and trying piece together what was going on. My days were becoming more and more surprising, and I didn’t understand why and what was happening to me. Did someone try to break in or was it just some bad school kids that kicked over my pot and busted out my porch light? I was hoping my school kid theory was more likely than a break in.I walked around the perimeter of my home to see if I had any broken access to entry points. I approached my front door slowly realizing it couldn’t be a break in, windows and everything else were still in tack. There was a package on my porch that looked untouched, so with