JOAQUIN MENDIOLA, isang English instructor sa isang institute sa Quezon City, madalas tuksuhin ng kapwa instructors na maraming estudyante ang nahuhumaling sa gandang lalaki niya. Kakaunti lang ang tinatanggap niyang klase dahil sa nature ng trabaho niya bilang isang musikero. Pagpasok niya lang ng building nila na may anim na palapag, marami na ang bumabati sa kanya mula sa guwardiya. ‘Sir Joaquin’ siya sa paaralan, pero madalas ay Sinatra Blue ang tawag sa kanya ng mga nakakakilala sa kanya sa labas. He chose not to talk about his career as a musician between his co-instructors but they are well aware of his reputation, however little it may be. He doesn’t engage his students with talks of gigs and which bar he frequents or what event he’s doing tonight. It doesn’t sit right with him that they are too close for comfort. Although his media presence doesn't hide the fact of his whereabouts, he kind of wanted to ignore those familiar faces just because. Sometimes he would nod, sm
HINDI MAPAKALI si Clip sa kanyang pagkakaupo. Exam nila ngayon at pakiramdam niya ay hindi niya ito napaghandaan ng maayos. Nagpuyat na nga siya kagabi para lang maabsorb ng kukote niya ang dapat makabisado dahil isa iyon sa hinihingi ng examen. Isa rin sa dahilan kung bakit hindi siya mapakali ay dahil ramdam niya ang mga matang nakatutok sa kanya. Tila iyon mga karayom na bumabaon sa balat niya. Pero baka gawa-gawa lang iyon ng isip niya, pagkumbinsi niya sa sarili. Hindi ba’t normal naman ang pag-aakala na ikaw ang centro ng atensyon kahit ang katotohanan ay wala namang may pakialam sa iyo, sadyang malakas lang ang hatak ng insecurity ni Clip ngayon dahil alam niyang hindi maayos ang itsura niya ngayon. Lukot ang uniform niya, halata iyon dahil wala naman siyang plantsa at maski ang palda niya ay bakat ang pagkalukot niyon. Alam niya ring nangangamoy sabon panglaba siya. Nag-handwash lang siya at hindi siya gumagamit ng fabric conditioner dahil ayaw niya ang mga amoy niyon, isa
CLIP LET her feelings sit idly, making her feel the biggest idiot that walked the planet. She wasn’t insulted by what Monique said. It’s so typical of Monique her immediate reaction when she left Romano was to roll her eyes. Of course, Monique truly cared. In her own twisted ways, Clip knows she cared for her. It’s just that… Clip associates it with weakness. Hindi siya kumportableng magpakita ng kahinaan sa harap ng ibang tao lalo na ngayon na pakiramdam niya ay nasa rock bottom siya. Only to find that there’s another rock underneath and it goes on, and on, and on. She’s tired of asking for help from these people. Monique, Joaquin, Alex, Romano. Her parents? Nah, they’re fine and busy with their own lives. She misses them, especially her Mommy. Her father, she couldn’t care less. Every time she asks for her friends’ help, they always come through. It was always her asking for help. At nakakahiya na. Hindi na siya natutuwa na palagi na lang siya ang mukhang kaawa-awa ang buhay.
CLIP TRIED TO eat slowly and savor her food. She’s happy she’s eating real, real, as in real freaking food that she could stomach. Nothing beats hot soup with rice. This is one of the meals her Mommy would cook when she’s sick. This could honestly cure her, plus placebo taking effect. Hindi siya marunong magluto ngunit sinusubukan niya. Kung hindi, masasayangan lang siya ng pagkain, lalo na noong binilhan siya ng stock ni Monique ng unang gabi niya sa bahay. Ngayon ay puro siya protein bar at canned goods. Mas inuuna niya ang maria kaysa sa masustansyang pagkain. Hindi na rin naman siya makakapagluto dahil wala nang laman ang LPG tank
THEY ARE NOW eating dessert. Clip happily danced when she downed her last halo-halo. Natawa si Sinatra na nakakalahati pa lang ang halo-halo nito.“Thank you so much for the treat, Mr. Blue.”“Anytime, Luna. Anytime.”“Do you want to talk to me about something? Why else would you take me out for lunch?” tanong niya rito.“Can’t I just take you out for lunch? Masama na ba iyon?”Nagkibit-balikat siya. “I know you think you’re the father figure in my life…” she trailed off. Parang papunta na siya sa pakikipag-away. Kakakain lang nila pero ang tono niya ay napaka-ungrateful na.
HINDI NA ALAM NI Clip kung saan siya dinadala ni Sinatra. Basta ay sumasama na lang siya rito. Naka-turn off ang utak niya kapag may kasama siyang iba, lalo na ito. She doesn’t have to stress or think about others. Mas gusto niyang siya ang inaasikaso. Inunahan niya agad ito na magsalita pagkatapos nilang um-order.Nasa corner booth sila. Very cozy ang lighting ng paligid. They don’t use big lights inside the establishment. She’s all for that. She approves of that. She could melt right in this seat because of how warm the place looks.“What’s your regular, day job?” usisa niya rito. Nilaro niya ang napkin dispenser sa gitna ng mesa.Huminga ito n
JOAQUIN WATCHED THE young lady across the table quietly. She looks like she’s truly having fun. Walang idea si Joaquin kung anong balita rito sa nakalipas na tatlong buwan sa bagong tinitirhan nito. Hindi nagre-respond si Luna sa mga mensahe at tawag niya. He was busy with his life as well. If Luna didn’t want to be bothered, Joaquin just let her be. Who knows, maybe she really needed it at the time. He just hoped nothing drastic had happened. He’s a little bit familiar with her new place. It’s not a good place to surround oneself especially if you’re pursuing an entirely different pleasure. He never tried it, but he knows a
NAGPUPUYOS MAN ANG galit ni Clip ay hinayaan niyang ihatid siya ni Sinatra. Kung hindi lang siya nagtitipid ay hindi siya magpapahatid dito. Kung hindi lang ito bigla-biglang pumepreno ay hindi niya nanaising mahawakan itong muli. Pagkababa ng motor ay nagpasalamat siya. Tinanggal ni Sinatra ang helmet na suot. “Take care, okay? I’ll see you around?” Nagkibit-balikat lang siya. “I’m sorry, Luna. Let me make it up to you.” Tinitigan niya ang kah
LUCKY STRIKE. Clip’s best friend as of the moment. Pikit ang mga matang kinapa niya ang sahig upang hanapin ang kahon ng sigarilyo. Nang may tamaan ang kamay ay hinanap niya ang butas ng kaha saka kumuha ng isang stick. Sa isang kamay ay hawak na niya ang lighter. Clipper. She remembered Monique would chainsmoke stealthily around the school premises. Ito pa ang nagagalit kapag wala siyang lighter na maiabot dito kapag nangati itong manigarilyo. She couldn’t deal with Monique’s irate attitude back then, so she started bringing extra Clipper for her. She would sometimes join Moni
NAGPUPUYOS MAN ANG galit ni Clip ay hinayaan niyang ihatid siya ni Sinatra. Kung hindi lang siya nagtitipid ay hindi siya magpapahatid dito. Kung hindi lang ito bigla-biglang pumepreno ay hindi niya nanaising mahawakan itong muli. Pagkababa ng motor ay nagpasalamat siya. Tinanggal ni Sinatra ang helmet na suot. “Take care, okay? I’ll see you around?” Nagkibit-balikat lang siya. “I’m sorry, Luna. Let me make it up to you.” Tinitigan niya ang kah
JOAQUIN WATCHED THE young lady across the table quietly. She looks like she’s truly having fun. Walang idea si Joaquin kung anong balita rito sa nakalipas na tatlong buwan sa bagong tinitirhan nito. Hindi nagre-respond si Luna sa mga mensahe at tawag niya. He was busy with his life as well. If Luna didn’t want to be bothered, Joaquin just let her be. Who knows, maybe she really needed it at the time. He just hoped nothing drastic had happened. He’s a little bit familiar with her new place. It’s not a good place to surround oneself especially if you’re pursuing an entirely different pleasure. He never tried it, but he knows a
HINDI NA ALAM NI Clip kung saan siya dinadala ni Sinatra. Basta ay sumasama na lang siya rito. Naka-turn off ang utak niya kapag may kasama siyang iba, lalo na ito. She doesn’t have to stress or think about others. Mas gusto niyang siya ang inaasikaso. Inunahan niya agad ito na magsalita pagkatapos nilang um-order.Nasa corner booth sila. Very cozy ang lighting ng paligid. They don’t use big lights inside the establishment. She’s all for that. She approves of that. She could melt right in this seat because of how warm the place looks.“What’s your regular, day job?” usisa niya rito. Nilaro niya ang napkin dispenser sa gitna ng mesa.Huminga ito n
THEY ARE NOW eating dessert. Clip happily danced when she downed her last halo-halo. Natawa si Sinatra na nakakalahati pa lang ang halo-halo nito.“Thank you so much for the treat, Mr. Blue.”“Anytime, Luna. Anytime.”“Do you want to talk to me about something? Why else would you take me out for lunch?” tanong niya rito.“Can’t I just take you out for lunch? Masama na ba iyon?”Nagkibit-balikat siya. “I know you think you’re the father figure in my life…” she trailed off. Parang papunta na siya sa pakikipag-away. Kakakain lang nila pero ang tono niya ay napaka-ungrateful na.
CLIP TRIED TO eat slowly and savor her food. She’s happy she’s eating real, real, as in real freaking food that she could stomach. Nothing beats hot soup with rice. This is one of the meals her Mommy would cook when she’s sick. This could honestly cure her, plus placebo taking effect. Hindi siya marunong magluto ngunit sinusubukan niya. Kung hindi, masasayangan lang siya ng pagkain, lalo na noong binilhan siya ng stock ni Monique ng unang gabi niya sa bahay. Ngayon ay puro siya protein bar at canned goods. Mas inuuna niya ang maria kaysa sa masustansyang pagkain. Hindi na rin naman siya makakapagluto dahil wala nang laman ang LPG tank
CLIP LET her feelings sit idly, making her feel the biggest idiot that walked the planet. She wasn’t insulted by what Monique said. It’s so typical of Monique her immediate reaction when she left Romano was to roll her eyes. Of course, Monique truly cared. In her own twisted ways, Clip knows she cared for her. It’s just that… Clip associates it with weakness. Hindi siya kumportableng magpakita ng kahinaan sa harap ng ibang tao lalo na ngayon na pakiramdam niya ay nasa rock bottom siya. Only to find that there’s another rock underneath and it goes on, and on, and on. She’s tired of asking for help from these people. Monique, Joaquin, Alex, Romano. Her parents? Nah, they’re fine and busy with their own lives. She misses them, especially her Mommy. Her father, she couldn’t care less. Every time she asks for her friends’ help, they always come through. It was always her asking for help. At nakakahiya na. Hindi na siya natutuwa na palagi na lang siya ang mukhang kaawa-awa ang buhay.
HINDI MAPAKALI si Clip sa kanyang pagkakaupo. Exam nila ngayon at pakiramdam niya ay hindi niya ito napaghandaan ng maayos. Nagpuyat na nga siya kagabi para lang maabsorb ng kukote niya ang dapat makabisado dahil isa iyon sa hinihingi ng examen. Isa rin sa dahilan kung bakit hindi siya mapakali ay dahil ramdam niya ang mga matang nakatutok sa kanya. Tila iyon mga karayom na bumabaon sa balat niya. Pero baka gawa-gawa lang iyon ng isip niya, pagkumbinsi niya sa sarili. Hindi ba’t normal naman ang pag-aakala na ikaw ang centro ng atensyon kahit ang katotohanan ay wala namang may pakialam sa iyo, sadyang malakas lang ang hatak ng insecurity ni Clip ngayon dahil alam niyang hindi maayos ang itsura niya ngayon. Lukot ang uniform niya, halata iyon dahil wala naman siyang plantsa at maski ang palda niya ay bakat ang pagkalukot niyon. Alam niya ring nangangamoy sabon panglaba siya. Nag-handwash lang siya at hindi siya gumagamit ng fabric conditioner dahil ayaw niya ang mga amoy niyon, isa
JOAQUIN MENDIOLA, isang English instructor sa isang institute sa Quezon City, madalas tuksuhin ng kapwa instructors na maraming estudyante ang nahuhumaling sa gandang lalaki niya. Kakaunti lang ang tinatanggap niyang klase dahil sa nature ng trabaho niya bilang isang musikero. Pagpasok niya lang ng building nila na may anim na palapag, marami na ang bumabati sa kanya mula sa guwardiya. ‘Sir Joaquin’ siya sa paaralan, pero madalas ay Sinatra Blue ang tawag sa kanya ng mga nakakakilala sa kanya sa labas. He chose not to talk about his career as a musician between his co-instructors but they are well aware of his reputation, however little it may be. He doesn’t engage his students with talks of gigs and which bar he frequents or what event he’s doing tonight. It doesn’t sit right with him that they are too close for comfort. Although his media presence doesn't hide the fact of his whereabouts, he kind of wanted to ignore those familiar faces just because. Sometimes he would nod, sm