Sydney - a city without a soul

Three days passed since the last time I saw Hade. He told me that he was just going to check Jarred first. I wonder if Jarred saw him because he never comes back. What a great thing to do - ghosting. No wonder why he becomes a ghost all of a sudden. Maybe it was his karma? I shake the thought. It was still inadequate to think of someone like that. 

He somewhat reminds me of Tycen. Who is he, Tycen 2.0? I can't help but laugh about the thought. I wonder how is Tycen doing after three months? Do I sometimes cross his mind, or it's just me who keeps thinking about him? I wonder if they got back together. 

Today was Sunday. I promised myself that I wouldn't do any house chores every Sunday. I have to do whatever I want the whole day. But the thing is, it was so limited. I can only read books that I've already read a thousand times, write my four-year ongoing story that hasn't been finished until now, or annoy my mom or Paris. 

I walked towards my notebook shelf and picked one of my first notebooks; I remember buying this on my 16th birthday. I opened the first page, saw my first entry, and closed it aggressively. 

"Yuck!" I screamed while waving my notebook aggressively. Why did I even write this back then? This is so disgusting!

I remember that half of my 2018 entries were all about him! It's Vin, my puppy love. I waited for him for three years even though he and my friend betrayed me. What a martyr am I? The good thing about me was I never let my feelings control me. So that's how my madness over him ended.

My phone rang. I walked towards my table and checked who was calling. I picked up my phone and saw Reyleigh's name. I can't help but roll my eyes. I wonder whose name am I going to hear today. Hoping this was the boy she'd been talking about since the last day.

"Hey, Rey, what's up?" I answered. I saw her sobbing on the screen. Wait, don't tell me she messaged that sucker after being dumped last month?

"He never contacted me again!" she cried. I let out a loud sigh. Miller, that guy! I already knew that she will get dumped again. She promised us that she would never bother to find that boy and just moved on. And guess what? She's been looking for him these past few days, and they are already talking. Well, I think the subscription has expired again.

For sure, Taylor would get mad too. Reyleigh never listens to us when it comes to boys. I don't get her. She keeps telling us that she only talks to others because Taylor and I were always busy, and after some talking, she changed her reasons to she wants a boy who will care for her like it was her boyfriend but no commitment, no strings attached yet she's the one who's been being attached.

"Okay, just tell me what you want to hear?" I replied. I don't like repeating myself all over again, but with this girl? I already repeated what I said to her a thousand times.

"I'm not just assuming, but I'm sure that Miller likes me! It's just that I keep pushing him away right from the start!" she insisted while sobbing. Here we go again. I rolled my eyes. What kind of psycho would block you out of nowhere just because he's not feeling well? 

"Can't you get the hint, Rey? He stopped talking to you because he thinks he won't grow with you and vice versa. Come on, Reyleigh, you can do better than this!" I said, trying to cheer her up, but in reality, I badly wanted to tear her into pieces. I can't blame Miller for everything, they are both at fault. They become toxic every day. Getting in to fight every day is not a good thing. 

"It's my fault why we became like this!", can I hang up the call and text her that my battery died? God knows how done I am with this Miller thing. We've been talking about Miller for almost a month now. She acts like she's loyal when she's not. She's even talking to some guy named Zian. And guess what, they're already in the mutual understanding phase. They start talking for like two weeks. While Tycen and I spoke for almost a year, nothing happened. 

"The only issue here, Reyleigh, is Miller, not you," I said. But partially, she has faults too. "But yeah, it's also your fault because you let him do this to you twice.", I corrected. She's no longer crying now. Reyleigh, Taylor, and I were friends since grade nine. They both attend the same school while I'm the only one who was attending a different school. But good thing, they never thought about dumping me, because I was too far.

Reyleigh saved me from drowning last year. The three of us lost connection during our first year in college, but then shit happened, mom got a stroke and Reyleigh contacted me almost every day, checking if I ate, if I rested if I'm doing good, everything. If it was not because of her, I forgot to live a life now.

"How's it going between you and Zian?" I asked. She suddenly smiled widely. 

"Well, he likes me.", she chuckled and tucked her hair behind his ears. "It's just me, your friend!" she added while acting cute. I laugh. I still keep wondering why did I approach her and ask her to be my friend back then. 

"Wow, the shifting, huh." I reminded. She suddenly acts accordingly.

"Well, how about Tycen? Do you guys still talking?" she asked. Well, I barely talk about Tycen with them. And I was thinking about it. It's been nine months, but I still didn't tell them that we're no longer talking.

"Well, we're no longer talking since October." I shyly smiled. Her eyes widened, and she added Taylor to the video chat.

"Hey guys, what's up?" she said. I smiled at her and shrugged.

"Tycen and Sydney were no longer talking since last year, and she never bothers to tell us.", Reyleigh's reported. She is so worked up now. Taylor makes a face.

"Just like how she told me that she had feelings for him last month.", Taylor said. Rey's forehead wrinkled, and shake her head numerous times.

"Hell no! I told you. You like him.", she starts screaming. Taylor laughs too. I badly wanted to correct her that it is supposedly liked, past tense, but I can't lie. I still think of him sometimes.

"What? Tycen's a good man.", I claimed. They both smirked.

"That was the first time that you put the word good and man in one sentence!" Taylor exclaimed and giggled.

"Yeah, right! You fell, hard girl. How's your heart?" Rey teases. I put my right hand on my chest and let a loud sigh.

"My heart's missing!" I exclaimed and looked at them with a shocked expression. "He stole it!", I added and we all laughed. My door suddenly opens widely, and mom comes in.

"Hi Auntie!", Reyleigh and Taylor said in unison. Mom walks near me and waves to the camera.

"Hello! Hello!" she answered while smiling. 

"Guys, I'll talk to you later! Got to go!" I bid my goodbye and ended the call. I look at mom, and she's smiling.

"What can I do for you, ma? Don't tell me you are hungry again?" I tease and poke her tummy. She defended herself quickly and laughed a lot. This is not my mom. 

"Why?", My mom will never laugh when I poke her. I'll get a lot of talking or whipping. "Syd?", She won't have this kind of thing with me. I'm not Paris, after all. 

"Ate Sydney!" I look at the person who yelled my name, oh Paris. The angel of my mom. The reason why she's in good condition now. "What the hell Ate? Mom keeps calling you. What's going on? Why are you dazed?" she asked. I closed my eyes intently.  Fuck off!  I screamed in my mind. I open my eyes and stand up. I hold my mom's left hand - the one she can move. And I smile at her.

"What do you want, mom?" I asked. I don't care if this is not my mom. At least I have the chance to do things only Paris could before. 

"Ice cream!" she said. 

"Okay, I'll buy ice cream. Go watch your Korean drama in the living room.", I said. Why do I sound like a mom? I picked up my wallet and black cap at my table and walked outside. 

I inhaled the air when I got out, crap pollution. I look at the sky. It never fails to amaze me what a sunny day. Why does the sky so blue today? And breeze so perfect? I started walking down the road when I saw Aunt Sally - mom's friend.

"Good morning Syd. Where are you going? How's your mom?" she asked. I stop right in front of her and smile.

"I'm going to 7/11 and buy some ice cream, mom's craving.", I say in a joking way. She touches my right shoulder and smiles.

"Lianne is so lucky to have a daughter like you. I wish I had a daughter like you too.", she said. I laughed and bowed my head a little, then started walking again. It's such a drag to walk down our street. 

After I turn right, I stop walking and decide to walk the other way. Mom's friends and people who were concerned for her are all there. I won't be able to do what I have to do if I entertain them all.

I pushed the door in 7/11 and walked straight to the ice cream corner. I picked up the double dutch and paid at the counter. When I got home, Paris divided the ice cream and gave me mine. 

I entered my room and saw Hade sitting on my swivel chair. I pretended that I didn't notice him and sat on my swivel chair. Just like I expected, I won't feel anything except cold. He stands up and sits at the table, and waves at my face.

"Hello?" he said. And snap his finger on my face, but I don't budge. I'm focusing on eating my ice cream. He pushed my pen holder outside the table, and it scattered on the ground. I glared at him and rushed to check my G-techs. "You're looking at me now.", he said with a straight face. I pick up my pens and check them one by one by writing a line on my hand. They are all fine. I put them back in their place and glared at Hade. He looks mad.

"Do you have any right to get mad at me now?", I asked but his face was still the same. "Do you think being gone without warning is a good thing?" I added. He grinned.

"Why? Don't you do that too to your friends or just someone else? You suddenly disappear and will appear anytime you want.", he answered. I let a loud sigh and walk to my swivel chair and pick up the mug full of ice cream.

"I suddenly disappear because I have something I have to do. And they understand me, and I understand them too if they suddenly don't reply to me.", I said calmly. He puts both of his hands on his hips.

"Exactly, then why are you getting mad at me?" he asked. I looked him in the eye.

"Because I can't contact you. Unlike us. We can do something to know if we are okay. But you Hade? I can't.", I said. He looks away and puts his hands down. He looks more relaxed than before. I wonder what happened to his visit to Jarred.

"So.", he stated and sat back on top of the table. His back was facing me. "I met Jarred, but like how we expected, he's not able to see me. So I decided to use violence." I can hear a demonic laugh in him. He faced me, and I could see a big grin on his face.

"I will tell you a secret that only he and I know, and with that, he will unquestionably believe you that I turned as a ghost.", He added. "Can you please stop chewing? The sounds make me crave ice cream too!" I looked at him and slowly put a spoonful of double dutch ice cream in my mouth and let a loud yum sound.

His face hardened, and his jaw tightened. I stopped eating my ice cream and put it in front of him. I put both of my elbows on top of the table and pulled myself closer to him.

"Can you do it again?" I whispered. His forehead creased, and sit away from me. 

"Do what?" he innocently asked. I tried to make my face look cool and tightened my jaw. I stayed like that for seconds and nodded my head, sending him a signal that it was his turn.

He shook his head and stood up. He looked at me first before taking my ice cream away. I quickly stood up and chased him around the room since he could not run outside my room with a mug in his hand without terrifying my mom and Paris.

"Just one!" he screamed while running. I stopped chasing him, and he stopped running away too. "Just let me try to eat just once!"

"What if you can eat? Then, I have to add you to our daily budget! Are you nuts?" I screeched. He grinned at me and put a spoonful of ice cream in his mouth.

"Uhm!" he sighed. He closed his eyes as the ice cream melted in his mouth. Later on, he's already chewing the nuts and marshmallows in the ice cream. He opened his eyes and smiled at me while showing an okay sign on his left hand.

"I can taste it, Sydney!" his voice is full of excitement. What a drag. I snatched the mug from his hands and walked back to my swivel chair.

"So going back," Hade spoke while walking towards me. He was still looking at my ice cream, but I ignored it and started eating it fast.

"We're meeting Jarred tomorrow, at our favorite coffee shop, and the unveiling of truth starts... now.". He smiled creepier than usual.