Chapter One

The beginning of the dead end

"Waking up with you in my arms, loving you every seconds of the day, coming home into your arms, your beautiful smiles, sweet kisses and a mini me and you, I want to spend the rest of my life in these beautiful moments" 

Those were Darren's last words to me before he turned up in the tabloid a few weeks ago with my ex-boss on his arm, as his fiancée. Staring at the mirror, I'm satisfied with the beautiful image in front of me. 

I'm here to claim back my man, I told myself. This is the first time in a while I'm getting myself dolled up, the director insisted on funding my wardrobe and appearance, looking at myself in the mirror 

I can hardly recognize the face staring back at me. I'm bodied in a beautiful long solid silk gown with a fully open back, the front with long V cut dipping low to reveal enough cleavage to tempt any man out of his pants, adorned with natural pearl and diamond beads necklace and pendant glittering brilliantly under the light, the earrings are to match the necklace, staring at my feet it's adorned with a beautiful set of nude heals that compliments my curvy body. 

I turned back to the stylist and she beamed at me in approval. I felt my stomach rumbling with nervousness but I picked up my courage armor, took a swift turn and headed down the hall. 

I'm really proud of the sight I'm presented with, I can't believe I set this up, my face lit up in pride and satisfaction. I took the stairs down to be faced with so many young intimidating faces. 

I know our economic difference is really wide, but I hid my nervousness as much as I could and put on my confident look. 

Most people think I'm a proud snub, well I rock that well, I can't afford to let them see through my insecurities and feed on it, tonight is for me and my newly achieved success. 

I found myself turning heads with both men and women in admiration. That was satisfactory. I'm living in my dream world, which I know wouldn't last. The room I noticed was filled with important people, the types you only see on news, tabloids, or business headlines. 

I know this is not my world nor do I belong here but I want to be here, just for today. I think my work really impressed the guests. I could see looks of admiration on their faces as they looked around the settings and decorations, nodding in approval. I was introduced to many who promised to reach out for their events. Just as I was to take a break, I noticed a familiar face, no two familiar faces actually. 

My heart skipped a beat before sinking low, I felt a sharp pain pierced through my heart, tears tingling my eyes, my eyes locked with Darren’s and I'm sure he can see the hurt in my eyes in which I'm not trying to hide, I've always been vulnerable around him. 

I knew this would happen but I never thought it'd hurt this much.I think I saw a hint of regret on his face before he turned around and snubbed me. It's really tough seeing him turn his back on me but I have to live with it and keep my emotions in check. 

Hanging on his arm is lady Morgana, my ex boss. I felt tears threatening my eyes so I turned around for the ladies room staring down to avoid drawing attention, it took a while to find my way around as I am new to the building. 

I felt an impact like hitting a wall but it's no wall but Darren’s handsome face scowling down on me, why is he angry when I should be. When I looked up into his face I was captivated, his eyes were deep ocean blue, I felt like I'm drowning in them and felt my body rumbling. 

His face was very clean and he smelled nice, those lips!!! Just the sight makes me want a bite. I noticed his scowling face turn worried, I felt tears run down my cheek and I noticed I was sobbing. He held me in arms while soothing me. I hate physical contact but here I am in his arms feeling so comfortable and safe. 

But I think he felt otherwise, he seems confused like he doesn't know how to deal with this, the crying lady. He held my hands and took me to a private room down the hall. It was all dark and cozy but I could still see his face, he set me on the edge of the bed and knelt in front of me. 

He tried calming me but I can't stop the sob, he was all careful with me like I was some fragile object, took a piece of wipes out of his pocket, brought his hands to my face to wipe my face, his hand grazed my face gently and my breath seized, my nipple hardened and I felt my lady part getting wet from the contact, I couldn't stop staring at his face, I'm drawn into him but I can’t have him. 

He is just too much for me, he felt my gaze on his lips and his sight drops to mine also. 

“Hey… please stop crying, I really don't know what to do with you…” he whispered 

I sank further into him as he held me close. I know the moment I'm out of here I might never set my eyes on him again, and our child might never get the chance to meet him or have a life with him, our worlds are just too different, the realization hurts. I raised my head and looked back into his eyes "please kiss me” I blurted… out, I moved my head to his our foreheads touched, lips few inches away from mine, I can feel his breath seizing, he shuts his eyes like he is struggling hard with something, then he whispered 

"No...... you are not in your right state of mind and you'd hate me for taking advantage of you this way after breaking your heart” 

 And he was right. I've never been this way, I don't throw myself at men, it is against my belief and I might hate myself for being this way later on. So I nod in understanding, and feel him caress my cheeks, my heart melts, I want to stay in his arms forever but I know my reality. 

He removed his arms, took a few steps back and turned his backs on me, his voice went hard like a command, he told me to take my time calming down before joining the party. And he left just like he was never there, I just stared at his retreating broad back. 

Darren was my college days crush but he has always been too far, I knew being with him was an unrealistic dream, a cool handsome gentle guy from one of the richest and influential families in the states. 

He is a charming being with beautiful smiles, his eyes always twinkling like the stars, my heart tends to skip a beat whenever I set my eyes on him, he was my mister impossible crush but I was sure he has never been aware of my existence. And he remained that way till I graduated college. 

Immediately after college I got a little lucky, got an assistant position with a clothing fashion line in the city just before the thought of moving back home came up. 

Darren turned out to be one of our VVIPs, one day I bumped into him, I was shocked when I heard him call my name, never thought in my wildest dream he'd know me or my name, I just can't think of how that came to be, he is like the hottest guy I know, with that bad boy vibe you know is no good for your heart but you still want him. 

I learned to stay clear of his path because I somehow find him intimidating a little or maybe due to the sexy dirty thoughts I can't keep away when he is close. Our worlds are different but I get to see a lot of him since he was a regular at my part time job. 

He came in sometime during my work hours, now I know he has been aware of my presence and has practically been stalking me, confessed to nurturing a long time crush on me, which I found impossible but it did bring a smile to my face. 

We got closer and started dating but things went downhill when it turned out my boss had her eyes on him also, I lost my job, never knew what happened but he drifted away from me also and never responded 

to my texts, though it's over six weeks now I still find myself checking my mails for messages from him but never got one, but everyday that passed, I miss him, I crave for him. 

I was lost in thought when I felt a presence, I looked up and saw Darren staring down at me with a different emotion on his face this time around, he looked worried, I saw his lips moved but no word came out, he was struggling hard but I'm not about to make it easy for him, so I just started at him, my heart breaks from the sight of his struggles but I can only tend to myself right now. 

“I'm sorry Abby… I didn't mean to hurt you but our worlds are just too different, it's a lot of sacrifice being with someone your class but I can't afford to lose anything right now, so I'm letting you go before things get more complicated, I need to be with someone who can add to me right now and that person is not you, I'm sorry” he blurted and left. 

I felt the punch to my heart, that's more than I can handle, he doesn't have to tell me that and kill me, I know all this already but hearing him say it out loud shook my heart, took away my life, I can't believe I love that man told me he loved me few weeks back, now I know how Alan must have felt from his breakup. 

I excused myself and left for home. I was a few steps outside when I felt two strong arms around me, a piece blocking my nose, lungs getting filled with unknown substances and then everything went blank, but I faintly heard a familiar voice, Darren?