CHAPTER 9

CHAPTER#9: Where His Heart Belongs

[Jacob’s P.O.V.]

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By the time I was about to wake up, I heard two individuals talking nearby the room—where I was sleeping. I opened my eyes to have a peek if they were exactly inside the room but I guess they were outside, almost standing at my doorstep.

“It's already 4:30am. I got my flight today at 8am. I must go, Sweetheart,” dad said outside the door

I took my phone to see what date is it today. Not even a whole day had passed, why is he leaving immediately?

I got up because I wanted to know the reasons why dad took an urgent flight to Japan. But as I opened my door, Mom was standing there, holding a wooden food tray that had 2 whole glasses of soy milk with low lactose content and 2 pieces of loaf bread.

“You woke up early today,” she said as she placed down the tray on our bedside table.

“Your sister is not even awake, how come you wake up this early?” she said as she combed my hair using her fingers.

I shook my head and smiled at her. “I don't even know mom,” I said and shrugged.

“Would you like to come with me later, Jacob? I will meet a friend by 2pm at Seoul Shopping Mall,” mom said while gesturing to me that I should already drink my milk and eat the bread.

I nodded at her as I ate up my breakfast.

Mom said that her friend from highschool wants to meet us—Haesoo and I. Sadly, Haesoo-noona cannot come because she has Saturday classes. I'm a bit excited for later because I can shake off my worries. Shopping Mall is the best place where I can rest my mind. Mommy won't bother interrupting me even if I was about to buy 3 bags of books when we're at the shopping mall. In return, I also don't disturb her having 6 bags of baking ingredients, 4 bags of groceries and lastly 8 boxes of heels and wedges. We always went home having 2 cars behind us—those cars only has the things we bought for good.

So, later shaking off my worries will let me have plenty of books and that's cool for me.

“Jacob, try asking your noona again. If she will follow us to the mall after her classes,” mom said, fixing her blouse while blow drying her hair.

“But she said earlier that she won't come with us.” I shrug and looked into my wristwatch. It's already 10AM in the morning.

I roam around my eyes inside the room of my mom…

She also have plenty of books inside her room. Just the way I have my mini library inside our room. I never saw Haesoo lift a book, not even a sheet of academic book nor a novel book.

“Mom, we're so much a like,” I said and stood up going to her bookshelf.

Moving my hands to pick a book, I said, “You also like books.”

I just saw mom smiling while blow drying her hair.

“Before I met your father, books were my first love and writing was my stress reliever. Whenever I feel sad or lonely, I write down my worries and hope that one day I can change it. Then look at me now. I don't regret putting my thoughts down,” she said while smiling at me getting her diary.

“I always have this with me. Having a diary like this make me feel like I'm asking my future self if I had conquer my struggles.”

She look at me and gently squeezes my shoulders. “If one day, I could no longer  listen to your worries and heavy feelings… Always write it down and always feel that you are writing to me.” She kissed my forehead and said, “I will always be there for you, answering your questions.”

I nodded at her but diverted my gaze immediately.

“Mom?” I asked her while looking down at the floor. “Why should I be the heir? If Noona was your eldest child?” I added.

She went beside me and fixed my hair. “Why? Are you finding it hard to be a heir? You made it to this day. Won't you want to work as the CEO?” She said.

I shook my head and looked at her. “I'm afraid to fail mom. What if I can't manage to stay in the business world? What if I can't be the best?”

“Shh. You can do that. You are trained. You and Haesoo have different purposes, but I'm sorry if your father has put you under too much pressure since you were a kid,” she said as she caressed my cheeks.

“That's just the way your daddy loves you both. He wants what is best for you two. All your burden will vanish just know where you heart belongs.” She hugged me and said.

“I will mom.” I forced a smile to her.

“I'm done. Let's go?” She said, grab her bag and open her door.

I walked towards the door and followed her.

__________

It's been an hour since we arrived here at the Seoul Shopping Mall. It feels like my cheeks were swollen because of mom's former highschool classmate—she looked at me as if I'm a cute doll. She pinched my cheeks several times before our ordered food arrive.

“Your kid is such a big guy now. I've heard so many things about him. It's only Haesoo that I've seen during her childhood days but not this little cutie,” she said and was about to pinch my cheeks again but I stood up and bow.

“Can i go to the comfort room mom?” I said and scratched my nape.

“Your son looks like Manuel when he is in highschool,” she added as she smiled at me when I stood up.

“He really is a little Manuel,” my mom said and laughed. She handed me the black card and gestured me that I should enjoy myself.

My eyes sparkled upon seeing the blackcard. I really hope dad will give me my card after this graduation. I can't afford that I can only use it during our visit in japan.

I went inside the men's comfort room and pee for a while. I look myself in the mirror.

I'm actually the little version of Dad. Mom is telling the truth but she knows that I'm her little minime. By just thinking of that, I feel so trapped inside this body. Why do I have to be a guy?

I forced a smile to my reflection and wet my face before leaving the public restroom.

I went directly to the nearest bookstore inside the shopping mall.

Ugh. How I miss to be surrounded by this number of books.

I grab a cart not a basket. I scrolled to the Almanac sections and the informational books sections and put the books that caught my attention.

“Look at him. He's so tall and handsome. I wish he was in those BL books,” I heard three girls whispering near my location. I noticed that they were already following me since I enter the shopping mall.

Are they Aromatized perfume addicts?

“He really looks familiar. I don't know where I saw his face. He's definitely not one of those KPOP stars but I'm really sure I saw that face already.”

I know eavesdropping is bad but I want to know what are they talking about. Or are they actually pinpointing about me. I want to know before I approach them.

“Are you sure he's not one of those BL actors?” the other girl said.

“I'm really sure that he's not an actor. He looks so young to be a BL actor, you know.” The tall girl snorted at her friend.

“We should get his name. I think he's approachable,” the red haired girl commented.

I immediately divert my gaze when I saw the short girl walking towards my direction.

She patted my shoulder 3 times. “Hi,” she greeted me.

“H-hello.” I scratched my nape and reply.

“Are you an actor?” she asked and shy looked down to the floor.

I shook my head and said, “I'm not an actor.”

“Oh. Then what are you?” she curiously said.

“I'm…” I stuttered infront of her as I look to her friends ditection and to her again. “I'm a model,” I said.

“I'm right! Your faces looks familiar. What product are you modeling? Underwears? Cosmetics?” she cheerfully said.

I suddenly blushed. Do I look like a model of underwears?

“Perfume,” I plainly said then the two girl friends of the short girl decided to approached us.

“Ah! I know! I know! I remember where I saw him! In Aromatized! With the other handsome guy. I bought that magazines few months ago because I thought it's a BL magazine because they look so cute togather,” the tall girl said excitedly remembering the magazine.

I forced a smile at them and asked, “What's BL?”

Their faces turned red and their gazes were all darted on the floor.

“Did I said something bad?” I ask.

The tall girl shook her head and stuttering speak her mind out, “It's about boys. Uh. Like gays. If you want to learn more about it, try visiting that section.” She pointed at the direction where there is a sign BL section: Manhwa, Novel, Novellette, Facts., etc.

“Oh. Thankyou,” I said the bow my head and walked away.

They went out the bookstore crazily whispering into each others ears.

I thought they want to get my name... but it's fine they changed their minds faster than I thought.

"So this is the section." My eyes widened when I saw a book.

“What kind of book is this?” I almost let out a curse when I saw the cover of one book in that section. On the cover there was two men almost hugging each other only wearing their underwears.

“Secret to longer homosexual relationships, Male edition,” I read the title out loud. I can't believe with my two eyes that there was a section like this in a bookstore.

Am I that innocent to know about what is this?

I saw the same book having the same words that the article that I read have. So that website was not making fun of me? It's actually true?

I was like a crazy person trying to find an answer in those books. There are all romantic books or romantic facs about BL nothing offred for my age.

I can't believe that there are facts, guides and trivias about having sexual intercourse with men and men. I was so naive. Why is my issue appears very normal inside this bookstore?

5 novel books for teens caught my attention.

The one is a little tragedy.

It's Story Title was “I'll Protect You” written by Lawliet

“It was five years ago when Andrew's friends and his boyfriend died. All of them were said to be killed by his best friend, Allen. The tragedy almost caused him to take his own life. After two years, Andrew was able to get back on his feet and tried to live as normal as possible. It was then when he met Karl. For Karl, Andrew was his sun no matter what his past is. Andrew was the person who changed him, a person he had promised he wouldn't leave. For they thought they could finally be happy, a person from the past came back. Will Andrew be able to find happiness? Or will the past pull Andrew back to how he was?” I read the book synopsis and blurb while holding the book. It's interesting for me to read something new…

The second book that I was holding was actually so new to me. It was a book about dystopian thriller more likely a Hunger games or Divergent like. I love reading some like this. It's title was “SPELL and KILL” written by Don Thyro Lamion.

“The Maharlika Nation has 26 outlying districts and one federal district called Mahar, the capital of Maharlika. The nation is divided separately and alphabetically. Each letter corresponds each district and all are controlled by the terrifying power of the Embassy. All of the districts are subjects to the unrelenting will of the authoritarian Embassy, and have no known influence concerning the national politics of Maharlika beyond their individual territories. The Maharlika Spelling TwistBee or MSTB is an anual event of survival game where each district will represent 1 letter in the alphabet.

A survival game where the spellers will spell the given words not verbally but through killing other competitors.

A survival game where competitors should have a great memory, wide English vocabulary and skills in holding weapons,” I read the book blurb and excitedly out it into my cart.

The third book that I was holding is about a psychological thriller. It was about a killer. It's title was “This Will Be The Last” written by Airawrites

“24-year-old, Zachary —Zack— Hernandez has aquaphobia, or a person who has a fear of water. Determined to cure his phobia and to reunite with his childhood friends, he decided to go back to the lake house where he was born and to also figure out the truth behind his nightmares that seemed to happen in the lake house. Before going there, here are the only things they expected to happen: have a blissful reunion, have extraordinary birthday celebrations, a relaxing vacation, to meet his grandparents and sister again, and of course to go back home safe and sound. But what they did not know was they only got themselves on the serial killer's hands and now it's impossible to go back. The shocking, gripping, and wicked THRILLER story of family, betrayals, and heinous crimes. That will surely make you think of how much knowledge do you know about the history of your family,” while reading the book blurb I felt goosebumps building up on the surface of my skin.

The forth book was entitled “Dancing In The Rain” written by kaye_wolf13. It was also a romantic story. Good for a young adult.

The fifth story was a bit relatable. It was about a Korean Heir who was put under pressure by the community, especially his father. Some scenarios in his life made him mentally unstable, causing his mind to scattered into little pieces. It was about how can conquer all things including mental health. It's title was “The Two Timer” written by Your Wet Chinless Author.

It was on time that mom called me on my phone. “Hello Mom? Yes mom. I'm done. I was about to fall in line to pay the books that I bought,” I told her while pushing my heavy chart to the 3rd line section of cashier.

Minutes passed the cashier was in shock to see how many books I put inside my cart. She was hesitating at first, if I'm really buying those books. I just nodded at her and handed her the card.

“It all cost you $5000 dollars,” she said stuttering.

“Thankyou,” I said smiling at her. I put the bags inside the cart and waited for mom outside the bookstore.

_____

“That was a very tiring day!” I said and throw myself into the bed.

“Hey jacob! Are you planning to flood out room with books?” Haesoo hissed at me.

I shook my head and said, “I forgot to buy a diary.”

My sister snorted and throw me something.

“Ouch! What was that for?” I said angrily. My lips was cut. I wipe the blood and get the thing that Haesoo threw at me.

“Mom Bought that, For us. You can have both of that, since I don't write but in return you should pay me double the price of that diary because it's mine,” she said rolling her eyes at me.

I glared at her. “What will I do with these two diaries?” I said while putting it into the book shelf.

“I know you can use that thing. But I'm sure to myself that I'm not going to write and use that diary,” she said shrugging as she open the door.

“You should rest,” she added before walking out.

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