Beginning

After taking the train to the City Hall Station that brought us here in Manhattan's Civic Center, the New York City Flag hoisted high caught my attention. While the male tourist guide is accompanying us all the way to Brooklyn Bridge, Indra called me.

"Amorelle, take a picture of me here!" she excitedly beamed while giving me her light blue polaroid.

She made a different pose, smiling from ear to ear and flexing her long down puffer coat, fringe scarf, skinny jeans and suede booties. She couldn’t contain her happiness as if that’s what she really felt.

"It’s beautiful," she was fascinated by the view we’re seeing upon walking here at the Washington Street.

I was also in awe when we arrived and started walking here in Brooklyn Bridge. The views around this bridge that connects two great New York City boroughs, Manhattan and Brooklyn are very phenomenal. The whole place is in between different beautiful architectures.

“I wish I can come back here too for the second time.”

A hint of sadness was visible within her voice even if she was trying to cover it by putting a wide curve on her lips.

“Is it impossible to change what’s bound to happen?” I asked, still expecting for a change.

She smiled bitterly after my response.

"This is my fate. I need to accept it wholeheartedly, Amorelle. This will be the last time that you’ll see me.”

It was so hard to accept what will happen to her. I couldn’t bare the agony.

“Maybe we can still do something —

“I already cried a bucket of tears so enough for the dramas, alright? Do you remember that we went here in New York to celebrate my last day? Let’s just enjoy this day. You’ll probably miss to see my smiles,” she laughed about what she said before I took a lot of pictures again.

This is the main reason why I love taking photographs of someone important to me. That person might be gone but photos will be a lifetime evidences that can make their memories alive.

Indra was right. I should cherish every moment with her so I tried to divert my attention instead of starting another dramas.

I also tried to take photos of different New York landmark's and areas while wandering my eyes around. This bridge offers a great view of different veritable work of Art including the Empire State building and Statue of Liberty. This made this place very special and a glorious public space not just an engineering triumph.

After of almost an hour of walking, we headed to Sweet Green to order her favorite organic salad. She's a vegetarian ever since before. She's also the one who influenced me to quit my unhealthy habits.

“Can you give me another month to live? It was so unfair. I am not yet given a chance to meet Amorelle’s soulmate!” she shouted making other foreigners glance at our direction.

She didn’t mind them as if only the two of us are here in this table.

“Can I see it?” she was about to grab my hand but I immediately avoided her.

"When will you find him? Why don’t you let me see it? It was already my last day, Amorelle.”

I was left speechless. Ever since before, it was hard to respond to those people who are asking me about my fate.

Staring at my two palms put me in a melancholy mood.

Here in this world, we are all born having this clock birthmark which indicates the date of love and the date of death. The date written on my right palm is the time that I will find my soulmate. On the opposite palm indicates the exact date of my death. We live in a world where everything is predicted.

Cruel isn't it?

“I don’t want to think about it for the mean time,” I avoided her gaze before focusing on the dessert I’m eating.

My cousin is five years older than me. She always prefers to be called on her first name because she hates to feel that she’s not a teenager anymore. She's also a psychology graduate who lost her boyfriend because of a road accident two years ago.

After a short vacation to New York City, we flew back to the Philippines. Dad was already there, waiting at the airport to fetch us.

“How’s New York? Did you two enjoy there?” I can feel his sadness too even if he was good at keeping his true emotions.

Indra was taking off her puffer coat while answering daddy.

‘Ofcourse, uncle! It was really fun so Amorelle and I decided to go there again next summer,” she laughed at her own joke. I tried to smile too hoping that her plans were possible.

“That’s good to hear,” daddy carried our luggage inside before we get into the car. It's already 10:00 pm. Mom texted us asking where we are because she prepared dinner.

“How are you feeling?” I worriedly asked my cousin. I'm still clueless about everything that will happen next. I’m so afraid of losing her.

"I'm alright and please, calm down," she held my hand, still trying to calm me.

"I already told you that it's my fate. We couldn’t escape what’s bound to happen. This is the end for me, Amorelle. I wish that you'll be very happy spending all the years with the person that you'll love."

I felt hot salty droplets in my cheeks while holding her hand. I felt something heavier on my chest too right after staring at her left palm.

“New York City made me so lethargic. I’ll just take a nap, cous. Tell me if we’re already at home alright? I want to taste the mango graham auntie prepared.”

She lied to me. She told me that she will just take a nap without knowing that it will be a permanent sleep. Just like what happened before, I lost a cousin again.

My mom was hopelessly crying after what happened. Dad was there to comfort her. Our relatives on other cities went here too a day after to attend her funeral.

Everything seems surreal. I really miss my cousin and caging myself inside my room was the only way to overcome the agony. Indra is not just my closest cousin. She's also a sister for me. We grew up with each other. She was always there to enlighten me during those points that I'm so fucked up with my decisions.

According to them, we live in a lucky world. They also said that finding your soul mate is the most awaited part of growing up. It will totally give you an everlasting love and a genuine happiness. In my case, I considered this world as a curse.

 A nightmare.

I keep on asking myself why we have to live in a world having these two birthmarks on our palm to rule our lives.

It's been a week since Indra died. I'm in the middle of staring at her photos in her blue polaroid when someone enters my room.

It was Aziel, worriedly approaching my direction.

"Everything happened is just normal, Amor. Among our family members, you're the only one who locked and caged yourself inside this room. Indra will probably get mad at you," he consoled before putting the straw in the binggrae he's holding.

"Drink it. I travelled Korea just to buy that," I accepted it, hoping if it could remove my heavy feeling.

"Thanks, Az."

"Can I see the date in your palm? I'll just find your soulmate so you'll not be alone, here," he went closer to my direction to grab my hand and similar to what I’m always doing, I avoided it.

"Stay away, Az,” I warned which made him chuckled.

"Alright, I gave up. Just go outside and take a bath. You don’t smell good anymore,” he lied before messing with my hair.

Out of curiosity, I grabbed his right hand to see the mark written.

"You'll see her today?"

He plastered a wide smile after I asked that question.

"Ofcourse, Amor. Today is a very special day. Actually, I already saw her earlier,” I smiled and nodded.

This is maybe the reason why his smile is very different.

After a week of caging myself, I decided to go outside. I told mommy that I’ll go to the photo lab so I can develop Indra’s photos from her old camera. This is what I promised to her before she died. I'm going to make a hand-made album.

"Sweetheart, are you sure you’re alright? You look pale," daddy noticed now that I am beside him inside his car. On the other hand, Aziel and Lissy were on the back seat while staring at their palms.

“I’m fine daddy,” I replied just to stop him from worrying too much.

"Amor, look at these. It’s similar.”

The amazement in Aziel’s eyes were visible. I wish I can be in that situation too.

The two of them have an identical clock birthmark in their right palms meaning to say that they are really destined for each other.

I remember what mom told me the last time. Two people with different clock birthmarks will never end up with each other. It will always be the fate's choice. If you tried to change your destiny then it is just a waste of time.

— because no matter how much you tried to change something, everything will act according to what's bound to happen.

On the other hand, there are also some people who are born with no birthmarks in their right palm. It only means one thing; they are born to stay single until the end. The good thing about having this blank birthmark is— luck follows all throughout their way that will give them a secure future and a successful career.

After arriving and finishing what we’re supposed to do here in the photo lab, I excused myself and went into the comfort room. While I was heading there, I accidentally bumped into someone.

"Shit, sorry," his coffee spilled in my peach dress.

"Wait here, I'll just get something."

The guy was in a hurry that’s why I wasn’t able to see his face. I only saw his grey hoodie.

"You're so careless, Amor. Who did it this time?" I was waiting for the guy to come back that’s why I didn’t notice Aziel’s presence.

"I didn’t saw him.”

Thank God, Aziel brought his football jersey with him so I used that to change my messy dress. He was still waiting for me, leaning on the wall after I fixed myself.

"Why are you still here?” I asked. He should be with Lissy now. I don’t want to bother him anymore.

"I just want to know how you will meet him so there's already someone who would watch you for me,” he seriously uttered. Seconds after, he plastered a bewildered look.

“It’s just confusing, Amor. You’ve been bumping a lot of strangers and you couldn’t remember their face.”

That hit me hard. I wasn't able to look at the guy's face again who accidentally spilled the cup of coffee infront of me.

"Could it be your soulmate? Your other half? The one—

I immediately cut him off.

"It's impossible. S-Stop concluding things without valid evidences, Aziel!" I started to get annoyed.

"Don't you trust my instinct?"

"No, I don't."

"Why are you mad?"

I heaved a deep sigh before looking at him.

"I don’t want to meet him,” I avoided his gaze.

"Don't say that, Amor," he warned. I can’t help but to get emotional again when my eyes laid at my two palms.

I remember that all of my friends during highschool days are all excited to see their other half which is very opposite to me. Maybe some of them are wondering why I always avoided the topic everytime that they're asking me when I will find that person who had the identical clock birththmark as mine.

If only I had the ability to stop time, I’ll surely do it. The dates indicated on my two palms are always my greatest fear.

—and meeting my other half feels like a nightmare already.

The truth is, the moment our paths crossed, I'll die after.

Because the dates engraved in my two palms are similar.