Too many problems, too few solutions

Chapter 6

"Too many problems, too few solutions."

Serkan

Out of all the foolish things I was capable of, that was one of the worst: judging your entire people. I couldn't go after that beautiful girl who was leaving; I was wrong. What was left for me was to wait for the next day to somehow redeem myself. I looked around, searched for my car with my eyes, and headed towards it. I heard the phone ringing in my pocket, and when I looked at the name, it was Eda. My mother?

  “Annem?” 

 “Serkan, when are you coming back to Istanbul, my son?”

 “Mom, I'm working, you already know that.” 

 “My son, we've set the wedding with Asli. It will be in five months.” I stopped in the middle of the street, in despair.

 “What?! Mom, you didn't do this!” 

“We did, her lovely mother chose a date, and we accepted. You know how wealthy they are.” 

 “Mom, I agreed to this engagement, it doesn't mean I'm going to marry Asli.” 

 “What do you mean, Serkan? Don't play games with me, young boy! You agreed to get engaged, and if you don't marry, what do your father and I do? What about our reputation?”

 I thought, I thought... I looked back at Giulia, who was already far away. Suddenly, an absurd idea came to my mind.

 “Mom, I'm actually engaged to another girl, an american.”

 I placed my hand around my waist as I looked around, waiting for my mother's screams.

 “What?!! Allah, Allah, I'm going to faint, Serkan! Is she at least Muslim?”

 “How could she be, my mother? How can an american girl be Muslim?”

“Then what is she?” 

 “She... she... I don't know, Mom! I've never talked about that with her! I think she's Christian, she must be.”

“ My God, I swear I'm going to have an attack, Serkan! My son, stop being irresponsible, Asli's family is already looking at dresses!” 

 “Well then, Mom, tell them to stop what they're doing, I'm engaged to another.” 

 “You tell them, Serkan Sadik! You're already 32 years old, you're not a kid to play with that girl's family like this! By Allah, I'm going to have something! Metin!!”

When she called my father's name, I hung up the phone. Talking to my father was the last thing I needed at that moment. He might deviate from his usual calm behavior and yell at me like a madman, say that I dishonored the Sadik family in front of Turkish society, that I deceived the girl. All that would be true if it weren't for the fact that we no longer lived in Turkish citadels and that the Ottoman Empire had burn centuries ago. Customs were welcome in times of hardship, which was not the case at the moment. I walked to my Ford Mustang and got in. I let my body sink into the driver's seat, in the car's much-appreciated air conditioning. I spent some time looking at the city until I started the machine. I knew I had to go back and deal with that engagement at any moment. I also knew that I would have to introduce a current bride to my parents and my ex-fiancé's parents. I didn't know why, but my thoughts easily fly to Giullia. She seemed like someone who would accept such a proposal. If not her, I would have to find another girl who would accept it without money involved, and would any girl, of any nationality, accept it without a date? I hadn't made any friends in USA, I had no girlfriend, I had no one to talk to and explain to the point of proposing something like this... I was in trouble.

I went home, but not straight home. I stopped at the gym and changed in the locker room so I could work out. I had a habit of carrying clothes in a small backpack in case I needed to work out when I left the office, because I always left the office a little upset and stressed. Working out helped me sleep. When I walked out of the locker room wearing just a T-shirt, shorts, and sneakers, a lot of women looked at me. I was a good-looking guy, I knew that. I was also taller than the average American, I was 6'1". It was easy to go out with a beautiful woman from the gym and go straight to a motel, but I rarely did. USAian women were very assertive and confident. It wasn't easy for a Turkish guy to deal with such openness. Giulia caught my attention because she was shy, not pushy, and waiting to be wooed. Few women were like that these days. And her face came back into my memory. She wasn't gorgeous, but she wasn't ugly either, she had an angelic face, a beautiful smile, and long hair, just the way I liked it. But she was a tough girl. She found fault in everything. How would I get her to accept the proposal? I had no idea, but maybe it would be tempting to go to Istanbul. Who doesn't like to travel? And who doesn't like Turkey? If I said it was a business trip, she might be more receptive. I would be lying, but at that point I didn't know what else I could do to undo this engagement that was so wrong in so many ways. It was better for me to go to Istanbul than to wait for my parents to come to Manhattan, and I was sure they would show up at any moment. It was only a matter of time.

I would talk to Giulia the next day.

I came home, took a relaxing shower, as only Americans know how to do, and lay down on my bed, reaching for my phone. I searched for Giulia Machado on social media, and there she was, with an open I*******m profile. There were hundreds of photos of her, flowers, landscapes, outings, on the beach. I finally got to see her body. It was attractive, as Americans would say. I swiped my index finger across her face on the screen and realized what I had just done. Serkan, she's coming on to you... I decided to put the phone down and go to sleep.

I was on a deserted beach. Giulia was there. Alone. But she decided to go for a swim, without knowing it. She was soon drowning and I had to pull her out of the sea. I ran towards her and swam for a while until I reached her. I was already tired, but happy to be able to get Giulia out of the sea alive. As soon as I got her onto the sand, I laid her down and only then realized that she was naked. I looked at her whole body with desire.

“Are you all right, askim?”

“ Yes, “ she coughed.”

“Why are you naked?”

She looked at my body.

“ So are you!”

I looked at my body and I was really naked. I felt the urge to kiss the girl. I didn't wait. If we were naked, it was a sign that she wanted me. I lay on top of her and started kissing her. I kissed all over her beautiful body, returning to her mouth. Giuliame looked at me with passion. We kissed intensely and were about to make love, when a loud noise started coming from all sides. The incessant noise was shrill and continuous. "

I woke up. Was it a dream? First thing in the morning? I looked down at my pants, I was in trouble. I dreamt about Giulia and woke up with a hard-on. It wasn't possible that now I was going to start dreaming about my employee! I had to relieve myself right there. I pulled down my underwear and touched the glans, already wet from pre-cum. I ran my hand down the length of my stiff member and sank my head into the pillow. I was really masturbating from dreaming about her. I ran my hand over my chest and down to my abdomen to intensify my pleasure, like a woman would. I squeezed my eyes shut when I felt I was about to come. What a morning delight... What lack of sex does to men... Waking up horny from dreaming about a girl I've never had sex with! Her face came to mind and what I was about to do that day was abominable, but I had no other choice. I didn't want to see my parents in USA upsetting me because of Asli. And I had no doubt that Eda would do that. My mother spared no effort to be unpleasant, with the excuse of family traditions. What she really hoped for was to be even richer, with the family agreements. I took a shower to cleanse myself from the orgasm and got ready for the difficult day ahead.

When I got to the office, I waited for her at my office door.

“ Giulia, come in.”

I stopped in the middle of the room, plucking up the courage to do what I wanted. She came into the room looking worried. She must have wondered what I wanted first thing in the morning. I should be ashamed. But since I had to stick to the plan, I took a deep breath. As soon as she entered, I asked her to close the door and our fate was sealed. Allah has crooked ways to teach us how to face problems. Nothing happens without his knowledge, no lesson is learned without his intervention. What for Giulia was just a trip to Turkey was salvation for me. As soon as she walked in, I already felt guilty and knew that I would be charged for my lie. Perhaps it would have been better to tell the truth, but I ran the risk that she wouldn't understand and would run away from me. If I were her, I would. I asked her to close the door. There was no other solution. I would be the bastard. I was used to being called that by women who didn't understand me. Giulias would just be another one. But why did her judgment affect me so much? I didn't know what I was feeling, but after the dream, I really wanted to find out what that feeling was that I'd never felt before.