SufferingsI didn't know that it's possible to feel comfort in the midst of the chaos. I could feel my heart thumping hard at the same time my mind rest for a while. Kahit na malabo sa paningin at pandinig ko ang lahat ay alam kong ligtas na ako sa kamay niya. I still believe that he cares for me. That what he said lately was not really his intention. Natabunan lang saglit ng galit at pagkalito dahil sa dulo, nanaig pa rin ang pagmamahal at ang pakialam niya sa 'kin bilang isang nag-iisang pamilya ko. I still remember the first time I had met him. I was really afraid that time knowing that I'm with someone I don't know. Even his name doesn't sound friendly at all. But despite this, he proved himself and worked for my trust. He embraced my torns and opened my eyes to see that despite my flaws, I am still delicate and fragile. He taught me how to love myself more before the person I've just met, not because that's required in every relationship but because the only person that will lo
ForgivenessWe tend to blame others for what happened to us even in the first place. We also have to blame ourselves for letting things happen 'cause we also have control over it. The grudges, the jealousy, the pain that we felt during those times, we let those control us until we lose ourselves through the process of blaming them.I was so mad that I even planned to take revenge, I was mad that I almost forgot that these people once became part of my life. I was so mad that I forgot I was wrong too.Is it wrong to seek for a chance to see them wrecked just like you? Is it wrong that you just let them feel how it feels to be played in someone's hand? Because for me, there's nothing more satisfying than seeing them crying because of what I did.I admit my heart was full of grudge, I let it fill the void until it occupied the whole place in my heart. I let it change me because that's what happens whenever we get hurt, we change not because we chose it, but because that's the effect of t
SpaceTwo months na ang lumipas simula nang mangyari ang lahat ng iyon. Hindi pa rin ako matahimik sa tuwing naaalala ko ang mga naging rebelasyon pati na rin ang pag-amin sa 'kin ni Mama. I know I should be happy after the years of suffering because of the pain she inflicted to me but I couldn't feel anything except from emptiness. Maybe because this is not what I've expected? Nakakatawa dahil ang tagal ko ring hinintay na maayos ang lahat but now that it happened, I don't know what to do next. I caressed my baby bump. Magti-three months na rin ang dinadala ko at malapit ko nang malaman ang kasarian niya. I wanted it to be surprise kaya mas pinili kong ang doctor na lang muna ang nakakaalam. "Maayos naman ang lagay ni baby, basta kumain ka lang ng healthy foods at huwag magpapagod. Masama rin sa pagbubuntis ang pagpupuyat kaya bago matulog ay uminom ka rin ng gatas," nakangiting bilin ni Doctor Rein. I smiled too as I nodded. "Gusto ko rin po kumuha ng nurse para may aalalay sa '
Real Dad"Bwisit ka!" inis na sigaw ko kay Silver at hinagis sa kanya ang unan na nakalagay sa sofa. He chuckled that made me pissed more. "Kung hindi ko kaya pinigilan baka si Zenith na ang nakakita sa inyo," tumatawang saad niya kaya hiyang-hiya kong tinakpan ang aking mukha kasabay ng pagtili. "Fuck you!" "Hey, that's bad," pangangaral niya. Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin. "I hate you." "Everyone does." I rolled my eyes at him and pinched his biceps. Ang tigas. "Umalis ka na, magseselos na naman si Styx sa papunta-punta mo rito." "Kakadating ko lang tapos pinapaalis mo agad ako. At isa pa, Ms. Xedler, ako kaya ang may-ari ng bahay na 'to." "Alam ko naman, hindi ako nagtatanong." "Damn you, kung hindi ka lang cute." Tumayo na ako at naglakad papunta sa hagdan para magpahinga. Kakaalis lang nila Styx at ang isa namang ito ang nanggugulo. "I'm just going to rest, lock the door after you left," bilin ko at naglakad na pataas. Natulog lang ako at bumangon para kumain ng tanghalia
Promise"What do you mean, Duex? Real Dad? P-Paano?" May namumuo ng paliwanag sa isip ko ngunit hindi ko 'yon matanggap. He shifted his weight uncomfortably on his chair and tears started to form at the corner of his eyes. I waited for him to speak, he attempted to utter a word but he failed when tears started to stream down on his cheeks. "He raped your Mom," nahihirapang bulong niya dahilan para manlumo ako at mapakapit sa lamesa para kumuha ng suporta. Walang tumulong luha sa mga mata ko kahit isa, pilit kong hinagilap ang mga ito sa pag-aakalang mababawasan nito ang bigat sa dibdib ko ngunit napasandal lang ako sa upuan at natulala. I placed my hand on my chest when I felt my breathing become rough. My vision became blurry and the world seemed to be spinning. I opened my mouth to gather enough air to breathe but I couldn't. I heard Duex' voice but it was so muffle that I couldn't even understand. I closed my eyes and when I lifted my ashes, I was already floating and before I c
Another Plan"Noong magising ako matapos ma-comatose, nagulat na lang ako dahil may bata sa tabi ko." Mahina akong natawa nang maalala ang itsura ni Zenith noong baby pa siya. "Kasi ang akala ko umabot lang ng araw o linggo 'yong pagkakatulog ko pero ang sabi ng doctor, anak ko raw ang sanggol." Humigpit ang yakap sa akin ni Styx at tila ba pinapakalma ang sarili matapos marinig ang mga sinabi ko. I felt comfortable talking about my past now, kahit paunti-unti ay kinakaya ko sa tulong ni Styx."What did you do next?" Binaon niya ang mukha sa leeg ko at mas hinigpitan pa ang yakap sa akin. Nasa kwarto lang kami at nakahiga sa kama habang nagkukwentuhan, magkasama na naman si Zenith at ang mga tito niya ngayon kaya may oras kami para gawin ito. "At first I was shocked," tumatawang sagot ko ngunit bakas doon ang sakit. "Hinanap din kita sa kanila but they told me that no one tried to look for me after I vanished just like that." "Tell me more, please." "I tried to reach out to you noo
The Sweet Revenge I sat on the sofa while waiting for someone to arrive. Nagpapawis ang palad ko sa sobrang kaba at hindi rin ako mapakali. I waited for almost 20 minutes, nang may marinig akong kaluskos sa labas. I sighed and smiled a bit, knowing that he was already here.I checked my gun under the study table and sat properly on my couch as if I weren't aware of his presence.Narinig ko ang pagbukas ng pintuan dahilan para mapunta roon ang atensyon ko. I looked at him blankly as he stared at me with a hint of surprise."Hi," I said, almost inaudible because of the building lump in my throat.He stopped and closed the door behind him before walking in my direction. I swallowed the lump in my throat when I noticed that there was nothing in his eyes but rage. Malakas ang kalabog ng dibdib ko, at kahit anong pagpapakalma ko ay hindi ko iyon magawa."How are you, my dear?" I smiled as a lone tear fell from my eye. Kung sa ibang sitwasyon siguro kami ngayon ay magkalukumahog akong lumapi
Styx SyruisWarning : Violence I remained looking at the door while hearing my parents exchanging words while yelling. My nanny, which was standing beside me looked at me worriedly but I remained my face blank."Siguro labas muna tayo? Maaga pa naman," she said while stammering. I held my trolley bag tightly as I hear my father's raging voice."Do you think I'm stupid to believe that you don't love that bastard anymore?!" His voice was filled with anger and jealousy. I couldn't believe that this happen everytime I go to school.I let my nanny held my hand and guide me outside the gate. I once look at the house I treated as home and after 10 years of existence, I couldn't feel any comfort in this house anymore.I was waiting for nanny Ayeng to arrive, she said she needs to go to the counter to order our foods. It's my first time eating in a fast food chain and I'm sure mom will get mad when she'd learn about this.I played with my fingers while recalling what happened earlier. Actually