Note : The next chapters will address delicate issues that may elicit strong emotions, such as sexual harassment, violence, and death. Please proceed with caution and at your own risk.Is it really possible that there would be a time where you couldn't find any reason to live?It was so tiring that you had to wake up just to sleep again, or open your eyes just to close it again and hope that it won't open ever again.I lost myself while loving my man. I didn't regret any decisions I made for him but I regret falling out of love to myself and forgetting that I deserve a love more than I could offer to someone and it is self-love."Eat, you have to gain your energy back after being comatose for 1 year." I stared at the man beside me and stared at him blankly. How could I believe them that the baby beside me is my son? Ano 'yon? Nawalan lang ako ng malay, nanganak na ako kaagad? Hindi ba 'ko nagbuntis? Paano ang lumipas na buwan, hindi ko alam. I woke up one day and realized that I was i
"Anak, stay here for the meantime Hindi naman kailangang sumama ka pa sa 'kin. Don't worry I'll have my bodyguards with me."I shook my head vehemently. Ayaw kong payagan siyang umalis nang hindi ako kasama, hindi ako kampante kapag wala siya sa paningin ko. Maybe because this is the effect of what happened two weeks ago.He sighed and reached for my hand. "Hija, hindi naman pwedeng dito lang ako palagi sa tabi mo. I need to take care of our business."Umiling ako at saka sinulyapan ang anak kong tahimik na natutulog sa kama. Sa tabi niya ay mayroon unan para hindi niya maramdamang umalis ako. Umiiyak kasi siya kapag hindi ako maramdaman sa tabi niya.Nagpapasalamat ako na walang nangyaring masama sa anak ko ng araw na 'yon. Dahil kung mayroon man, hinding-hindi ko mapapatawad si Styx at ang mga taong gumawa nito. Hindi lang kami kumikilos pero pare-pareho na kaming nag-iisip ng susunod na hakbang."Where's Duex?" I asked after the silence. Lumayo ako ng bahagya kay Dad at tinitigan an
ApologiesThere would be times that you can't handle the pain until you choose to give up. Sometimes, we could easily say that in order to survive the calamities, we should hold on our ground and trust Him. How could I do that?If the trust that I had been keeping since day one brought me not only into destruction but also in losing myself. In the process of trying to figure out His plans for me, I lost my way to come back and find myself again.I didn't regret the time where I chose to entrust my future to Him but I regret thinking that he has a better plan for my life rather than giving me the most painful experience that a person can get and a lifetime pain that I don't think I would be able to heal.I find a home and love in the person that in the first place, a stranger to me. He helped me to stand after I stumbled on a thick mud, he held my hand and supported my back when I felt like I was carrying the world on my thin body. He loves me as if I'm his own daughter, something that
Sick"Kumusta ang pakiramdam mo? Maayos na ba?" Nilingon ko si Inang nang pumasok siya ng kwarto, pagkagising ko ay agad na bumalik sa 'kin ang mga nangyari kanina . . . totoo nga. I am not dreaming and he's real, I don't know how I managed to stay alive after our encounter. Nawalan ako ng malay kanina at hindi ko alam kung nasa'n na siya ngayon. Nasa tabi ko naman si Zenith na mahimbing na natutulog."N-Nakaalis na ba siya?" mahina kong tanong. Malakas ang pagbuntong hininga ni Inang nang tumabi siya sa 'kin."Nasa loob pa rin ng sasakyan niya at hinihintay ka, sa nakikita ko malaki talaga ang naging kasalanan ng lalaking 'yon sa 'yo." Ngumiti ako ng mapait, ramdam ko ang paglandas ng luha sa mata ko.I looked at my son who were sleeping peacefully, he was hugging my pillow comfortably. "H-Hindi ko na po alam ang gagawin, Inang. Gusto kong tumakas pero alam kong walang saysay kasi mahahanap niya pa rin kami. Pwede po bang pahingi ng favor?" malamlam ang mata ni Inang habang nakatingin
Daddy"Anak, kumain ka muna. Kagabi ko pa napapansin na sobrang tamlay mo, baka ikaw naman ang magkasakit niyan," puna ni Inang habang inaayos ang mga prutas na nakalagay sa isang lamesa, sa tabi ng kama ni Zenith.Inilipat ng ni Styx si Zenith sa isang private room. Sa una ay hindi ako pumayag pero nakiusap siya na pumayag ako dahil para naman 'yon kay Zenith.Hindi ko alam kung bakit ganito siya sa 'kin ngayon. Madalas magkatagpo ang mga mata namin pero agad din siyang umiiwas na tila ba nakakapaso ang mga tingin ko. Kanina pa siya umalis at hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin bumabalik. Si Zenith naman ay tulog at nagpapahinga dahil kanina lang ay pinainom siya ng gamot."Okay lang po ako, Inang. Pwede na po kayong maunang umuwi para makapagpahinga na po kayo. Ako na po ang aasikaso sa bayarin dito sa Hospital, nakausap na ni Len-Len si Aling Isang at pautangin niya raw po ako para pandagdag sa bill ng hospital.Kumunot ang noo niya at tila ba hindi nagustuhan ang sinabi ko."Hindi ba
Mag-ina"Mommy, where's Daddy?" Natigil ang pagtutupi ko ng mga damit nang magsalita si Zenith, nakaupo siya sa dulo ng kama habang pinaglalaruan ang kanyang mga paa na nakataas sa kama."Hindi ko alam, anak." Ngumuso siya at umismid. Hindi ko naman talaga alam, pagkahatid sa 'min ni Styx sa bahay matapos ma-discharge sa hospital si Zenith ay nagpaalam muna siyang aalis. Wala namang kaso sa 'kin 'yon, wala akong paki kahit na hindi na siya bumalik."I want to see Daddy," he whispered like he didn't want me to hear it. I sighed and rolled the clothes. Umupo ako sa tabi niya at hinaplos ang malulusog niyang pisngi. Ang maamo niyang mata ay tumitig sa 'kin. Malungkot 'yon na para bang nangungulila siya sa presensya ng kanyang ama."Galit ka ba kay Mommy, anak?" I asked softly. Kinakabahan akong tumingin sa kaniya nang hindi siya sumagot pero agad napawi 'yon nang ngumiti siya sa 'kin.He shook his head. "No, mommy."Nakahinga ako ng maluwag. "Bakit? Hindi ka ba galit kay Mommy kasi hindi
NeverMabilis ko siyang tinulak at tumalikod para itago ang pag-init ng mukha ko. I wanted so bad to scream but I couldn't let him saw me in this state. Kahit na nanghihina ay sinubukan kong ituloy ang paghuhugas ng plato ngunit nanigas ako sa kinatatayuan nang may matipunong braso ang pumalibot sa maliit kong bewang at yumakap do'n.I did not move as I remained frozen. His chest touched my back and sent shivers down my spine. He rested his chin on my shoulder and kissed me there. Sinubukan kong kumawala pero hindi naging sapat 'yon dahil sa panghihina. His manly scent enveloped me, his warm hands placed on my body was enough to reach my heart."S-Styx, ano bang ginagawa mo?" I told him and slightly moved."Can we stay like this for a while? I missed you." He sounded tired.Sinubukan ko ulit siyang itulak pero nagmatigas lang siya at mas hinigpitan ang yakap sa 'kin. Unti-unti akong nanghina at hinayaan siyang nakayakap sa 'kin. Lumipas ang ilang minuto at siya na mismo ang kusang guma
PastaIsang linggo na simula nang mag-stay dito si Styx, hindi ko alam kung hanggang kailan niya balak dito pero wala rin akong balak itanong 'yon. Hindi natuloy ang balak naming pagpunta kahapon sa mall dahil sumama ang pakiramdam ko. Buong araw akong nakakulong lang sa kwarto at si Styx ang nagbebenta ng mga kakanin at sa gabi naman ay balot. Siya rin ang nag-asikaso sa anak namin."Do you feel okay?" Styx asked and placed a plate full of foods at the table. Tumango lang ako at mahigpit na kumapit sa kumot na nakatakip sa katawan ko. Wala akong lagnat at sipon o kahit ubo, sadyang masama lang talaga ang pakiramdam ko at madalas nahihilo. Gusto niya 'kong dalhin sa hospital pero hindi naman na 'yon kailangan dahil mababaw lang para sa 'kin."Eat a lot, you need to be healthy for our son." Umupo siya sa tabi ko at at kinuha ang pagkain. Hindi naman ako kumibo dahil wala talaga akong gana ngayon araw, bigla ko na lang talagang naramdaman 'to."Where's my son?" Isinubo niya sa 'kin ang i
"Daddy, can I play with Kerrin after school?" Zella, my seven-year-old daughter, asked. I put down my paper and glanced at her. She was peeking at the door of my room, pouting, and her hands were clasped. I motioned for her to come closer, which she did, but her mouth pouted more."Did I say that you should call him Kuya Kerrin because he's five years older than you?" I said softly. Zella snaked her arms around my waist and looked up at me."I told you, Daddy. I like Kuya Kerrin," she shyly said. I chuckled lightly, carried her, and made her sit on my lap. I removed my eyeglasses and started combing her hair using my slender fingers. I stared at my daughter's eyes and smiled as I saw that some of her features mirrored her mother's."But your mom won't like it when she hears it; you're too young for that kind of stuff, my princess." Zella bit her lower lip, trying to restrain herself from crying, but she couldn't. Umalpas ang luha sa mata niya at nahihiya siyang nagtago ng mukha sa dib
Wedding Day"Hindi ka iiyak! Hindi ka talaga iiyak, sinasabi ko sa 'yo baka matanggal ang makeup mo mamaya," bulong ko sa sarili habang pinapaypayan ang mukha. Styx and I decided to hold the wedding at his private resort in Zambales. Naging mabilis ang lahat ng preparasyon dahil may mga koneksyon siya.I was wearing my wedding gown and my makeup today. Simple lang ang gown na napili namin dahil beach wedding naman ang theme nito. Nauna na sina Styx sa lugar kung saan pagdadausan at mamaya pa ako susunod dahil kakatapos ko pa lang mag-ayos.My makeup artist entered my room after knocking. She smiled at me. Pinilit niya akong pakalmahin dahil paulit-ulit na namamasa ang mata ko sa sobrang kaba. Paano kapag hindi sumipot si Styx?! I swear, I'm going to make him pay if that happens.Matapos ang ilang minuto ay dinala na nila ako sa labas, malapit sa dalampasigan ang venue, at nakahanda na ang lahat nang makarating ako. I was wearing my veil while still standing outside the venue. Ngunit n
Zella"Mommy! Zella is crying!" papungas-pungas akong bumangon at lumapit sa crib. Zenith was the one who looked after his sister. Hapon na pero antok na antok pa rin ako kaya pinabantay ko muna sa kanya para umidlip.Lumapit ako sa crib at hinalikan ang noo ni Zenith bago binuhat si Zella. My daughter was now 1 year and 2 months old, and breastfeeding ko pa rin siya until now dahil sabi ng doctor ay healty raw 'yon."Very good, Kuya Zenith. Thank you for taking care of your baby sister," I said and caressed his hair. Zenith giggled and hugged me by my waist. Sobrang responsable niya tuwing siya ang naiiwan sa kapatid, unlike other children who get jealous when they have siblings.Buhay ko si Zella at tumahan na nang makita ako. I kissed her chubby cheeks, and she just cried again, obviously getting impatient because she's hungry. Binaba ko ang strap ng bra ko at pinadede siya. Zenith playfully covered his face and turned his back."Anak, you don't have to do that. Dito ka rin kaya du
Sweet Goodbyes "Where are you going?" Nanigas ako sa kinatatayuan nang biglang may nagsalita sa likod ko. I was about to get into the car that would take me to the airport.Dahan-dahan kong nilingon siya at nakita ko ang pagdaan ng sakit sa mata niya. They are tears forming at the corner of his eyes at namumula rin ang mukha niya."Iiwan mo na naman ba ako?" Nabasag ang boses niya. Tumulo rin ang mga luha niya at mahinang humikbi. Sumikip ang dibdib ko at lumapit sa kanya para sana punasan ang luha sa pisngi niya ngunit tinaboy niya lang ang kamay ko at bahagyang umatras."You promised me that you would never leave me, pero heto ka, nagplano na naman na umalis nang hindi sinasabi sa akin. Tell me, Xhia. Do you really love me?" Hindi ko alam kung paano magpapaliwanag sa kanya. I need to stay away from them. Hindi ako makatulog knowing na lahat sila nasaktan ko, kailangan ko munang matutunan na patawarin ang sarili bago bumalik at ibuhos ang pagmamahal sa kanila.I stepped closer to him
Styx SyruisI wanted to bury everything and look for her again, but that wasn't exactly what happened. I am ready to forget what happened and start a new life with her because there's no point in lying to myself that I no longer have feelings for her.That day she stepped inside my office, I felt the familiar feeling in my chest, and my heart still beats fast for her. Alam ko na marami nang nagbago sa kanya at 'yon ang napatunayan ko nang magsimula siyang maging malamig sa pagtrato sa akin.I knew that Mr. Xedler, the man who adopted her, died of a heart attack, and I admit it was all because of me. I threatened him to tell Zyxhiaxy everything I knew about his underground business, and he was scared for a reason. Nakita ko kung paano siya matigalgal sa kinatatayuan nang makita ang lahat ng ebidensya na mayroon ako laban sa kanya.That day, he died while his knees were bent, and Duex witnessed it. Wala akong naramdaman na awa maski saglit nang makita siyang mabawian ng buhay sa harapan
A/N: I know some of you will be disappointed in Styx's reason for hurting Zyxhiaxy, but that's the only reason I could create for Styx to not prolong the story. You see, this story has already celebrated its anniversary, and I badly want to end Zyxhiaxy's agony and let her be happy. You can skip this chapter if it doesn't meet your expectations. Thank you. ***Styx SyruisWarning : ViolenceI wanted to bury everything and look for her again, but that wasn't exactly what happened. I am ready to forget what happened and start a new life with her because there's no point in lying to myself that I no longer have feelings for her.That day she stepped inside my office, I felt the familiar feeling in my chest, and my heart still beats fast for her. Alam ko na marami nang nagbago sa kanya at 'yon ang napatunayan ko nang magsimula siyang maging malamig sa pagtrato sa akin.I knew that Mr. Xedler, the man who adopted her, died of a heart attack, and I admit it was all because of me. I threaten
Styx SyruisWarning : Violence I remained looking at the door while hearing my parents exchanging words while yelling. My nanny, which was standing beside me looked at me worriedly but I remained my face blank."Siguro labas muna tayo? Maaga pa naman," she said while stammering. I held my trolley bag tightly as I hear my father's raging voice."Do you think I'm stupid to believe that you don't love that bastard anymore?!" His voice was filled with anger and jealousy. I couldn't believe that this happen everytime I go to school.I let my nanny held my hand and guide me outside the gate. I once look at the house I treated as home and after 10 years of existence, I couldn't feel any comfort in this house anymore.I was waiting for nanny Ayeng to arrive, she said she needs to go to the counter to order our foods. It's my first time eating in a fast food chain and I'm sure mom will get mad when she'd learn about this.I played with my fingers while recalling what happened earlier. Actually
The Sweet Revenge I sat on the sofa while waiting for someone to arrive. Nagpapawis ang palad ko sa sobrang kaba at hindi rin ako mapakali. I waited for almost 20 minutes, nang may marinig akong kaluskos sa labas. I sighed and smiled a bit, knowing that he was already here.I checked my gun under the study table and sat properly on my couch as if I weren't aware of his presence.Narinig ko ang pagbukas ng pintuan dahilan para mapunta roon ang atensyon ko. I looked at him blankly as he stared at me with a hint of surprise."Hi," I said, almost inaudible because of the building lump in my throat.He stopped and closed the door behind him before walking in my direction. I swallowed the lump in my throat when I noticed that there was nothing in his eyes but rage. Malakas ang kalabog ng dibdib ko, at kahit anong pagpapakalma ko ay hindi ko iyon magawa."How are you, my dear?" I smiled as a lone tear fell from my eye. Kung sa ibang sitwasyon siguro kami ngayon ay magkalukumahog akong lumapi
Another Plan"Noong magising ako matapos ma-comatose, nagulat na lang ako dahil may bata sa tabi ko." Mahina akong natawa nang maalala ang itsura ni Zenith noong baby pa siya. "Kasi ang akala ko umabot lang ng araw o linggo 'yong pagkakatulog ko pero ang sabi ng doctor, anak ko raw ang sanggol." Humigpit ang yakap sa akin ni Styx at tila ba pinapakalma ang sarili matapos marinig ang mga sinabi ko. I felt comfortable talking about my past now, kahit paunti-unti ay kinakaya ko sa tulong ni Styx."What did you do next?" Binaon niya ang mukha sa leeg ko at mas hinigpitan pa ang yakap sa akin. Nasa kwarto lang kami at nakahiga sa kama habang nagkukwentuhan, magkasama na naman si Zenith at ang mga tito niya ngayon kaya may oras kami para gawin ito. "At first I was shocked," tumatawang sagot ko ngunit bakas doon ang sakit. "Hinanap din kita sa kanila but they told me that no one tried to look for me after I vanished just like that." "Tell me more, please." "I tried to reach out to you noo