Stop Pursuing the PlanAs expected, nagulat si Tita Isabel nang sabihin ko sa kanyang isasama ko sa pag-uwi sa Pilipinas si Zenith. Noong una ay hindi niya 'ko pinayagan dahil baka raw kuhanin ng ama ni Zenith ang anak ko pero nang sinabi kong titira kami sa bahay ni Duex ay napapayag din namin siya.Ngayon ang araw ng alis namin at kanina pa iyak nang iyak si Tita Isabel dahil mami-miss niya raw ang anak ko. My son was also crying while kissing Tita Isabel's cheeks. Matagal din silang magkasamang dalawa kaya hindi ko masisisi ang anak ko kung gano'n kahirap para sa kanya na mahiwalay kay Tita.Tinanong ko rin naman si Zenith kung gusto niyang sumama pauwi at walang alinlangan siyang pumayag. I couldn't afford leaving him here again. Kahit na sabihin kong nasa mabuting kamay si Zenith ay iba pa rin kung kasama ko siya."Are you ready, baby?" I asked as I arranged his seatbelt.He nodded innocently. "But I'm a bit nervous because we're going to ride a plane."I smiled at him. "Yes, but
Revelations Warning : R18+Tahimik akong nag-drive papunta sa bahay ni Styx. Tatlong araw na simula nang hindi siya nagpakita sa 'kin, may pagkakataong pumasok siya ng opisina pero hindi ko rin naabutan. Hindi ko alam kung iniiwasan niya 'ko o pinagtataguan. Hindi niya rin sinasagot ang mga tawag ko kaya nag-aalala na ako na baka may nangyari.Nag-doorbell ako ngunit walang sumagot. Ang malaking bahay niya ay tila ba abandonado dahil walang nakabukas na ilaw kahit isa. Pinindot ko ulit 'yon at hindi ako nabigo nang makita ko ang lalaking matagal ko nang hindi nakikita. Lumabas siya ng pintuan nila nang nakasuot lang ng t-shirt at boxer. "Xhia?"Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero mabilis na nangilid ang luha ko nang makita ko kung gaano kalaki ang nagbago sa kanya. Pansin ko ang itim sa ilalim ng mata niya at ang pagbagsak ng timbang ng kanyang katawan.Kasalanan ko 'to, dahil sa 'kin marami siyang pinoproblema. Akala ko magiging masaya ako kapag nakita ko siyang miserable pero hindi pala
Ilang araw na ba akong wala sa sarili?Isa?Dalawa?O isang linggo na?Hindi ko alam pero iba ang nararamdaman ko ngayon. Palaging umaalis si Mama tuwing gabi at umaga na kinabukasan dumadating. Hindi na niya 'ko sinasaktan at malaking bagay 'yon pero hindi ko maiwasang manibago. "Xhiaaaaa!" Aira, my friend, called me. Nakita ko siyang tumatakbo mula sa hallway kaya mabilis akong tumigil. Napatingin sa 'min ang ibang estudyante kaya hindi ko maiwasang pamulahan dahil sa hiya."'Wag ka ngang sumigaw!" saway ko sa kanya sabay hampas ng mahina.Sumimangot si Aira at inamba sa 'kin ang makakapal na librong hawak niya. Umilag naman ako at tumawa."Ang sama mo porke't nililigawan ka no'ng nasa kabilang department!"I rolled my eyes before proceeding to walk. "Saan mo naman napulot ang chismis na 'yan?"Hindi ko alam kung sadyang chismosa lang talaga ang babaeng 'to o sadyang kalat na sa buong campus. Pa'no ba naman kasi, laging nakabuntot sa 'kin noong nakaraang linggo si David kaya hindi n
Who would have thought that Styx will love me more than I expected? Inaasahan kong sa oras na malaman niyang suicidal ako ay iiwan niyo ako but I was wrong when he doubled the time and attention he gave to me.Matagal na nang huling beses ko 'yong ginawa pero kita ko pa rin ang galit at pagkahabag sa mata niya nang sabihin kong minsan na akong muntik sumuko sa buhay.Masisisi niya ba ako? Kailanman ay hindi ko naranasan na mahalin ng mga taong nakapaligid sa 'kin. May mga taong darating pero tulad ng inaasahan ko ay umaalis din sila.Maging ang Ina ko ay hindi ako mahal kaya ano pa bang punto para mabuhay? But I woke up one day and I realized that I should live for myself. Ano naman kung hindi nila ko gusto sa buhay nila? Ano naman kung hindi nila ako mahal at ang tingin nila sa 'kin ay isang malaking pagkakamali?Inisip ko noon na wala nang saysay ang mabuhay dahil walang taong handang mahalin ako but upon healing myself, I realized that there is someone I could lean on whenever I co
Note : The next chapters will address delicate issues that may elicit strong emotions, such as sexual harassment, violence, and death. Please proceed with caution and at your own risk.Day passed like a wind. Dumating ang araw ng graduation namin ni Styx at pareho kaming nakatanggap ng karangalan.Life becomes hard to me but everything was paid off, even the tears I shed because I saw my Mom smiled at me even it didn't reach her eyes. I almost sob that day, halos hindi ako mapakalma ni Styx habang nakaupo kami sa isang restaurant. He keeps on saying that he's proud of me as well as Mom. Kahit hindi niya sinabi, alam kong masaya para sa 'kin si Mama. I just hope that one day she could finally tell me that she's happy that I am her daughter."Two months, give me two months to prepare everything. Hindi na 'ko makapaghintay na pakasalan ka." Styx kissed the back of my palm while his head were resting on my lap. Nasa loob kami ng pad niya at nagpapahinga. Kakatapos lang namin umiyak dahil n
Note : The next chapters will address delicate issues that may elicit strong emotions, such as sexual harassment, violence, and death. Please proceed with caution and at your own risk.Is it really possible that there would be a time where you couldn't find any reason to live?It was so tiring that you had to wake up just to sleep again, or open your eyes just to close it again and hope that it won't open ever again.I lost myself while loving my man. I didn't regret any decisions I made for him but I regret falling out of love to myself and forgetting that I deserve a love more than I could offer to someone and it is self-love."Eat, you have to gain your energy back after being comatose for 1 year." I stared at the man beside me and stared at him blankly. How could I believe them that the baby beside me is my son? Ano 'yon? Nawalan lang ako ng malay, nanganak na ako kaagad? Hindi ba 'ko nagbuntis? Paano ang lumipas na buwan, hindi ko alam. I woke up one day and realized that I was i
"Anak, stay here for the meantime Hindi naman kailangang sumama ka pa sa 'kin. Don't worry I'll have my bodyguards with me."I shook my head vehemently. Ayaw kong payagan siyang umalis nang hindi ako kasama, hindi ako kampante kapag wala siya sa paningin ko. Maybe because this is the effect of what happened two weeks ago.He sighed and reached for my hand. "Hija, hindi naman pwedeng dito lang ako palagi sa tabi mo. I need to take care of our business."Umiling ako at saka sinulyapan ang anak kong tahimik na natutulog sa kama. Sa tabi niya ay mayroon unan para hindi niya maramdamang umalis ako. Umiiyak kasi siya kapag hindi ako maramdaman sa tabi niya.Nagpapasalamat ako na walang nangyaring masama sa anak ko ng araw na 'yon. Dahil kung mayroon man, hinding-hindi ko mapapatawad si Styx at ang mga taong gumawa nito. Hindi lang kami kumikilos pero pare-pareho na kaming nag-iisip ng susunod na hakbang."Where's Duex?" I asked after the silence. Lumayo ako ng bahagya kay Dad at tinitigan an
ApologiesThere would be times that you can't handle the pain until you choose to give up. Sometimes, we could easily say that in order to survive the calamities, we should hold on our ground and trust Him. How could I do that?If the trust that I had been keeping since day one brought me not only into destruction but also in losing myself. In the process of trying to figure out His plans for me, I lost my way to come back and find myself again.I didn't regret the time where I chose to entrust my future to Him but I regret thinking that he has a better plan for my life rather than giving me the most painful experience that a person can get and a lifetime pain that I don't think I would be able to heal.I find a home and love in the person that in the first place, a stranger to me. He helped me to stand after I stumbled on a thick mud, he held my hand and supported my back when I felt like I was carrying the world on my thin body. He loves me as if I'm his own daughter, something that
"Daddy, can I play with Kerrin after school?" Zella, my seven-year-old daughter, asked. I put down my paper and glanced at her. She was peeking at the door of my room, pouting, and her hands were clasped. I motioned for her to come closer, which she did, but her mouth pouted more."Did I say that you should call him Kuya Kerrin because he's five years older than you?" I said softly. Zella snaked her arms around my waist and looked up at me."I told you, Daddy. I like Kuya Kerrin," she shyly said. I chuckled lightly, carried her, and made her sit on my lap. I removed my eyeglasses and started combing her hair using my slender fingers. I stared at my daughter's eyes and smiled as I saw that some of her features mirrored her mother's."But your mom won't like it when she hears it; you're too young for that kind of stuff, my princess." Zella bit her lower lip, trying to restrain herself from crying, but she couldn't. Umalpas ang luha sa mata niya at nahihiya siyang nagtago ng mukha sa dib
Wedding Day"Hindi ka iiyak! Hindi ka talaga iiyak, sinasabi ko sa 'yo baka matanggal ang makeup mo mamaya," bulong ko sa sarili habang pinapaypayan ang mukha. Styx and I decided to hold the wedding at his private resort in Zambales. Naging mabilis ang lahat ng preparasyon dahil may mga koneksyon siya.I was wearing my wedding gown and my makeup today. Simple lang ang gown na napili namin dahil beach wedding naman ang theme nito. Nauna na sina Styx sa lugar kung saan pagdadausan at mamaya pa ako susunod dahil kakatapos ko pa lang mag-ayos.My makeup artist entered my room after knocking. She smiled at me. Pinilit niya akong pakalmahin dahil paulit-ulit na namamasa ang mata ko sa sobrang kaba. Paano kapag hindi sumipot si Styx?! I swear, I'm going to make him pay if that happens.Matapos ang ilang minuto ay dinala na nila ako sa labas, malapit sa dalampasigan ang venue, at nakahanda na ang lahat nang makarating ako. I was wearing my veil while still standing outside the venue. Ngunit n
Zella"Mommy! Zella is crying!" papungas-pungas akong bumangon at lumapit sa crib. Zenith was the one who looked after his sister. Hapon na pero antok na antok pa rin ako kaya pinabantay ko muna sa kanya para umidlip.Lumapit ako sa crib at hinalikan ang noo ni Zenith bago binuhat si Zella. My daughter was now 1 year and 2 months old, and breastfeeding ko pa rin siya until now dahil sabi ng doctor ay healty raw 'yon."Very good, Kuya Zenith. Thank you for taking care of your baby sister," I said and caressed his hair. Zenith giggled and hugged me by my waist. Sobrang responsable niya tuwing siya ang naiiwan sa kapatid, unlike other children who get jealous when they have siblings.Buhay ko si Zella at tumahan na nang makita ako. I kissed her chubby cheeks, and she just cried again, obviously getting impatient because she's hungry. Binaba ko ang strap ng bra ko at pinadede siya. Zenith playfully covered his face and turned his back."Anak, you don't have to do that. Dito ka rin kaya du
Sweet Goodbyes "Where are you going?" Nanigas ako sa kinatatayuan nang biglang may nagsalita sa likod ko. I was about to get into the car that would take me to the airport.Dahan-dahan kong nilingon siya at nakita ko ang pagdaan ng sakit sa mata niya. They are tears forming at the corner of his eyes at namumula rin ang mukha niya."Iiwan mo na naman ba ako?" Nabasag ang boses niya. Tumulo rin ang mga luha niya at mahinang humikbi. Sumikip ang dibdib ko at lumapit sa kanya para sana punasan ang luha sa pisngi niya ngunit tinaboy niya lang ang kamay ko at bahagyang umatras."You promised me that you would never leave me, pero heto ka, nagplano na naman na umalis nang hindi sinasabi sa akin. Tell me, Xhia. Do you really love me?" Hindi ko alam kung paano magpapaliwanag sa kanya. I need to stay away from them. Hindi ako makatulog knowing na lahat sila nasaktan ko, kailangan ko munang matutunan na patawarin ang sarili bago bumalik at ibuhos ang pagmamahal sa kanila.I stepped closer to him
Styx SyruisI wanted to bury everything and look for her again, but that wasn't exactly what happened. I am ready to forget what happened and start a new life with her because there's no point in lying to myself that I no longer have feelings for her.That day she stepped inside my office, I felt the familiar feeling in my chest, and my heart still beats fast for her. Alam ko na marami nang nagbago sa kanya at 'yon ang napatunayan ko nang magsimula siyang maging malamig sa pagtrato sa akin.I knew that Mr. Xedler, the man who adopted her, died of a heart attack, and I admit it was all because of me. I threatened him to tell Zyxhiaxy everything I knew about his underground business, and he was scared for a reason. Nakita ko kung paano siya matigalgal sa kinatatayuan nang makita ang lahat ng ebidensya na mayroon ako laban sa kanya.That day, he died while his knees were bent, and Duex witnessed it. Wala akong naramdaman na awa maski saglit nang makita siyang mabawian ng buhay sa harapan
A/N: I know some of you will be disappointed in Styx's reason for hurting Zyxhiaxy, but that's the only reason I could create for Styx to not prolong the story. You see, this story has already celebrated its anniversary, and I badly want to end Zyxhiaxy's agony and let her be happy. You can skip this chapter if it doesn't meet your expectations. Thank you. ***Styx SyruisWarning : ViolenceI wanted to bury everything and look for her again, but that wasn't exactly what happened. I am ready to forget what happened and start a new life with her because there's no point in lying to myself that I no longer have feelings for her.That day she stepped inside my office, I felt the familiar feeling in my chest, and my heart still beats fast for her. Alam ko na marami nang nagbago sa kanya at 'yon ang napatunayan ko nang magsimula siyang maging malamig sa pagtrato sa akin.I knew that Mr. Xedler, the man who adopted her, died of a heart attack, and I admit it was all because of me. I threaten
Styx SyruisWarning : Violence I remained looking at the door while hearing my parents exchanging words while yelling. My nanny, which was standing beside me looked at me worriedly but I remained my face blank."Siguro labas muna tayo? Maaga pa naman," she said while stammering. I held my trolley bag tightly as I hear my father's raging voice."Do you think I'm stupid to believe that you don't love that bastard anymore?!" His voice was filled with anger and jealousy. I couldn't believe that this happen everytime I go to school.I let my nanny held my hand and guide me outside the gate. I once look at the house I treated as home and after 10 years of existence, I couldn't feel any comfort in this house anymore.I was waiting for nanny Ayeng to arrive, she said she needs to go to the counter to order our foods. It's my first time eating in a fast food chain and I'm sure mom will get mad when she'd learn about this.I played with my fingers while recalling what happened earlier. Actually
The Sweet Revenge I sat on the sofa while waiting for someone to arrive. Nagpapawis ang palad ko sa sobrang kaba at hindi rin ako mapakali. I waited for almost 20 minutes, nang may marinig akong kaluskos sa labas. I sighed and smiled a bit, knowing that he was already here.I checked my gun under the study table and sat properly on my couch as if I weren't aware of his presence.Narinig ko ang pagbukas ng pintuan dahilan para mapunta roon ang atensyon ko. I looked at him blankly as he stared at me with a hint of surprise."Hi," I said, almost inaudible because of the building lump in my throat.He stopped and closed the door behind him before walking in my direction. I swallowed the lump in my throat when I noticed that there was nothing in his eyes but rage. Malakas ang kalabog ng dibdib ko, at kahit anong pagpapakalma ko ay hindi ko iyon magawa."How are you, my dear?" I smiled as a lone tear fell from my eye. Kung sa ibang sitwasyon siguro kami ngayon ay magkalukumahog akong lumapi
Another Plan"Noong magising ako matapos ma-comatose, nagulat na lang ako dahil may bata sa tabi ko." Mahina akong natawa nang maalala ang itsura ni Zenith noong baby pa siya. "Kasi ang akala ko umabot lang ng araw o linggo 'yong pagkakatulog ko pero ang sabi ng doctor, anak ko raw ang sanggol." Humigpit ang yakap sa akin ni Styx at tila ba pinapakalma ang sarili matapos marinig ang mga sinabi ko. I felt comfortable talking about my past now, kahit paunti-unti ay kinakaya ko sa tulong ni Styx."What did you do next?" Binaon niya ang mukha sa leeg ko at mas hinigpitan pa ang yakap sa akin. Nasa kwarto lang kami at nakahiga sa kama habang nagkukwentuhan, magkasama na naman si Zenith at ang mga tito niya ngayon kaya may oras kami para gawin ito. "At first I was shocked," tumatawang sagot ko ngunit bakas doon ang sakit. "Hinanap din kita sa kanila but they told me that no one tried to look for me after I vanished just like that." "Tell me more, please." "I tried to reach out to you noo