Chapter 3

“Come on we’re going shopping” Liana says grabbing my hands and pulling me up off the sofa. I had agreed to let Dylan have the children every other weekend after months of him asking. Harry was six months old now, so he was taking bottles which meant I had some freedom back, not that I wanted it, and this was the first weekend I had ever been away from any of my children.

“Get up and get dressed” Liana said with exasperation in her voice. I know she was trying to take my mind off my babies, but I felt so lost without them.

“Ok, Ok I’m coming”, I go upstairs to my room and pull on a pair of skinny jeans and an over-sized t-shirt. Liana was looking lush as usual with her long blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail, black jeans that fitted her perfectly and a rainbow t-shirt, she managed to get her figure back so quickly after having Luna and I still feel so frumpy. I suppose new clothes will help.

*

We got into town and were looking through the racks when I came across a leather jacket,

“I love this” I say out loud “I used to have one when Dylan and I first met but he didn’t like it, so he made me throw it out”,

“Buy it!” Liana shouts “Screw that, I’ll buy it for you”,

Liana grabs the jacket and puts it over her arm along with a black sparkly dress she’d found for herself.

“Why did I let him throw out my jacket” I say angrily, “and my Doc Martens, he didn’t like any of my clothes so I got a whole new wardrobe for him, why would I do that”?

“You were young and stupid but now you are wise and independent” Liana says with a smile on her face,

“Is that your way of saying I’m old” I ask.

“Yes” Liana replies, and we laugh so loud we get a few funny looks from other customers. Liana has always joked about me being older than her, only by a couple of years. I’ve always felt like I needed to protect her but recently the roles have definitely been reversed.

Once we’ve had a bit of retail therapy we go for lunch at a lovely little vintage café and order the high tea tier to share with sweet tea.

The café is bustling with customers as the waitresses float around with their vintage aprons and 1940’s hairstyles, serving tea in pretty teapots, teacups and saucers. It’s like stepping back in time, the old classics are playing on their stereo, and you can see all the delicious homemade cakes at the counter.

“We should go out, out tonight” suggested Liana, “a proper girl’s night out”.

“Yeah, that sounds fab, it’s been so long since I was able to let my hair down, or allowed”

Anytime I had made plans with my friends in the past Dylan always had some excuse for me not to go, this always annoyed me, but I’d ended up accepting it, I can’t believe I was such a push over. This separation has definitely been good for me, I hope my babies are ok though.

“We better get back to shopping after this then as I have nothing to wear tonight except ‘Mum’ clothes”!

*

Thankfully it’s a warm summers night so I can get away with wearing a pretty little red playsuit with white flowers on it and some black strappy wedges I found while shopping today. Liana has on the black sparkly dress she bought and some gorgeous black patent heels, her long blonde hair is down with loose curls falling round her face. My hair is much shorter, but I manage to pin it up into victory rolls and give myself a red lip.

“Now I’m ready! Let’s go” I say excitedly, grabbing my leather jacket (because I can) and my handbag, we jump into Kristian’s car. Kristian drops us off in town and gives Liana a sweet kiss goodbye.

“I’ll look after her” I shout just before she shuts the door.

Our first stop is ‘Queens’, a cocktail bar. We both order the Candy Floss Fizz, it’s a combination of Prosecco and Gin, once you put the candy floss on top it fizzes into the drink and tastes delicious. We turn around to scope out the place, the atmosphere is buzzing, people chatting loudly, laughing and dancing. There’s a group of young lads that clearly spend all their spare time at the gym, eyeing up some girls on the dance floor.

I see a couple of the mum’s from the school run, they’re whispering and looking our way, I put my hand up to wave but they don’t return the gesture, instead they screw up their faces at me like I’d done something wrong. Liana notices and rolls her eyes,

“Let’s dance” she says grabbing my hand and pulling me on to the dance floor, I nearly spill my drink everywhere, luckily, I didn’t. We dance all night having so much fun I forget all about the strange looks I got previously.

The bar calls last orders, so we make our way to the club ‘Exclusive’.

I know the DJ, he waves when he see’s me, playing all the latest tunes, so the dancefloor is heaving but we manage to find space and dance until the club closes at two am.

“What a perfect night” I say, “thank you so much, I really needed that”.

“Do you know what I need now” says Liana, “a burger”.

*

Fast forward through a tough eighteen months and it’s Rosie’s first day at school. Being a single parent has been hard but I’m enjoying the time I get with my babies. The post is on the door mat as usual and there’s a large brown envelope, I open it while getting the children’s breakfast ready:

Divorce/dissolution/separation petition

I, Dylan Lee Baker apply for a divorce in respect of my marriage and give the following details in support of my application: Adultery ……

Well, at least he was honest.

My stomach feels like it’s in knots, I’m so nervous about letting Rosie go, I’ll miss her so much while she’s there, but I know she will be fine and she’s definitely ready for it. Joshua skips along the path to school, he’s now in year two. It’s one of those wet miserable September mornings. Harry is in his pram under the rain cover avoiding the harsh weather but seemingly enjoying the rain drops that fall just above his face.

We enter the playground with plenty of time for Harry to run off and play with his friends, we saw a couple of his friends over the summer holidays but we spent most of our time chilling in the garden with friends and family, the children all seem to have adapted well to spending every other weekend with their Dad, I’m so proud of them all. I had messaged Dylan to let him know what day the children went back to school and asked if he wanted to be there for their first day, but he’d replied that he was working and couldn’t take any time off.

I look around to find Joshua and notice the mum's I saw on my night out, they were glancing over and whispering. I felt like I was back at school and the bullies were planning on doing something horrible to me, what is their problem?

The school bell rings and the children all line up. I quickly give Joshua and Rosie a kiss before they go into their classrooms. Rosie gives me the biggest squeeze and I try my best not to let tears fall from my eyes, as I turn around I catch a glimpse of someone I’ve not seen before, my heart skips a beat and in my head I say ‘I’m going to be yours one day’!