It’s getting late and my tummy starts to rumble. Leaving Penelope snoozing in the living room, the children and I head out to find the local shops. Although it’s October the air feels warm, I can smell the salty sea air and hear the waves crashing in the background.
There’s a store called Applejacks that seems to sell everything and will be perfect for us to stock up on what we need for the week, but a wave of delicious smelling chips wafts our way, and we head straight for the local chip shop. As we enter, we’re welcomed with warm smiles by the owners, it looks as though it’s run by one big happy family, working in harmony. The shop is full of expectant customers, which I see as a good sign of a decent chip shop. We order our food and walk down to the beach. Sitting on the sand with our food wrapped in paper, we dig in and it tastes incredible. The children are making yummy sounds as they eat their hot chips smothered in salt and vinegar and in this moment, life feels perfect. “Can we go and play?” asks Joshua “Of course, you can honey” and the three of them jump up and start running around the beach. We must bring Penelope here tomorrow I think to myself and I’m sure there was a sign at the store saying, ‘Dogs welcome’. You can’t take dogs in any shops back in Suffolk, this is a wonderful place to be. “Come and play Mummy” shouts Rosie. I take my shoes and socks off and jump up. Running towards the children I can feel the soft sand beneath me, getting closer to the Ocean the sand turns wet and cold, we all hold hands as a tiny wave comes towards us, and we jump over it into the freezing sea. “Nope, just no, too cold” I yell, and we all run away from the water. We play on the beach until the sun starts to set, sinking below the horizon far away in the distance. “Come on guys, we need to get to the shop before it closes” I call out. Gathering up our things we head back up to the store, thankfully it’s still open. As I walk through the labyrinth of the shop layout I can smell the fresh local produce. I would love to have this as my local store, there’s isles of fresh fruit, meat from the local butcher, fish that is caught daily from a little port a few miles away and an array of freshly baked goods. We manage to stock up on a few bits to see us through, but we’ll definitely be back! * Back at the cottage, Penelope is excited to see us, I let her out into the garden for a run around and sit at the table just outside the kitchen door. The air has a chill to it now and I pull my cardigan tighter around me. I start to think about all the shit we’ve had to endure recently, and I get a pain in my heart. I hope this doesn’t affect the children too badly, I’m still incredibly mad at Dylan for acting that way in front of them, I never thought he could do such a thing. Then my mind turns to Daniel, those ocean blue eyes and sweet smile, he is absolutely delicious! But, also probably very taken too. I need to get him out of my head, at least until I know if he does have a partner. Joshua sticks his little head out the door, “Are you okay Mummy” “Yes, my darling”, Joshua starts to rub his eyes. “Let’s get you guys ready for bed”. It doesn’t take long before all three children are fast asleep, Joshua on the top bunk, Rosie and Harry snuggled together on the double bottom bunk. Penelope has found her favourite spot in the living room again. Feeling tired from the long day I too lay down to rest my eyes for a bit, however, I must have been more tired than I realised as when I awoke the warm sun was beaming through the bedroom window onto my face. * The next few days go by too fast. We visited Newquay Zoo, Joshua held hands with Harry and helped him find the tigers that were camouflaged into their surroundings, watching him interact with his little brother I realise how grown up Joshua is now, he pulled faces at the monkeys to make Harry and Rosie laugh and we spent about half an hour watching the penguins sliding down their rocks into the pool. Penguins are my favourite animals; I love how the male penguin will walk up and down the beach searching for a perfect pebble to present to the one he loves, and they will mate for life. We had lots of picnics on the beach made up from the delicious food we bought from Applejacks, built sandcastles with huge moats surrounding them and the children thought it would be fun to bury my legs under the sand to make me look like a mermaid. Hearing their happy carefree laughs and seeing their beautiful smiling faces has been exactly what I needed to start to heal. We all tried bodyboarding, which was hilarious, especially when I had to squish myself into a wetsuit after eating far too many cream teas, but no one makes them better than the Cornish, I couldn’t help myself. We also visited Tintagel to view the Camelot Castle ruins, walking high up on the cliffs you can see for miles and the views were amazing, the old walls had tiny spaces that looked like windows for elves, the children stuff their faces in and posed for photos. Looking out to sea, there’s a cliff side that looks as though there is a giants face carved into the side of it. And at the very top we had our photo taken with a statue of King Arthur. After climbing down the oldest, most rickety wooden stairs we eventually arrived at the beach and discovered Merlin’s cave. This was definitely my favourite part of the holiday. The cave felt ethereal, I sat there for a while feeling at peace while the children shouted “Hello” and waited for their echoes to reply. I can’t believe we have to go back to normality tomorrow, but right now I’m going to soak up all these lovely memories. Penelope is running in and out of the sea, she’s made friends with another labrador who looks just like her, jet black and lanky legs. The other dog’s owner and I have laughed together multiple times watching our fur babies enjoying themselves. The people here seem much more friendly than those back up in Suffolk, every day someone has said ‘hello’ or ‘good morning’ to us as they walk past, they even know us by name at the AppleJacks store now. I feel really comfortable here, no more judgy mum’s sending evil glares over to me, just happy kind people who genuinely want you to have a good day. We’ve tried and tested as many Cornish pasties as we possibly could and ate way too much ice cream, but we have had the most incredible time here and made some beautiful memories. * The children are fast asleep not long after we arrive back at the cottage and I’ve finished re packing their suitcases, I write a quick note to the homeowner: ‘We have had the most wonderful time staying in your beautiful cottage, thank you so much for our gift basket, We hope to stay again soon. Alice, Joshua, Rosie, Harry and Penelope xx’ I leave the note on the kitchen side next to the now empty basket. I settle into bed for our last night here, wishing that we could stay.Daniel is clearly devastated after I tell him what Rosie said about Hailey not wanting Izzy to be at ours anymore. He sighs and holds my hand. We’re cuddled on the sofa and the children are finally asleep after demolishing the treats Daniel brought home for them.“I always knew this day would come” he says, “I knew she’d come back and take Izzy from me”,“We won’t let that happen, she is safe here and happy, she can’t turn up after you’ve raised her on your own for years and then take her away from you. We’ll have to speak to a solicitor”,“I looked into a solicitor a while back, in case this situation ever arose, it’ll cost me five thousand pounds to go to court and apply for full custody of Izzy and that’s only if things go smoothly and Hailey doesn’t put up a fight, which she will, so it could end up costing around fifteen thousand and then we’d probably end up with fifty-fifty shared custody”,“That’s shit, I’m so sorry this is all happening. We’ll make sure she doesn’t take her,
“Miss Baker, Dylan Baker has been found guilty in regard to arson with attempt to harm. He has been imprisoned for twenty-four months but can make bail after eighteen months with good behaviour. We have already contacted Mr Duggan to inform him. Once Mr Baker is released, we will re visit you to see if anything needs to be put in place to ensure your safety”.“Thank you so much for your call, I really appreciate it”.“Not a problem, please call us if you have any concerns or questions”,“Thank you, good bye”.I hang up the phone. I feel relieved but sad at the same time. Sad for my babies, how am I supposed to tell them that their dad has gone to prison. They haven’t asked about him since he was taken away, but they must be curious. They have been brave little souls.I ring Daniel to see what he thinks to the news,“Hello poppet, I was just about to ring you. How are you?”He’s so sweet, I love that he’s more concerned about how I’m doing.“I’m ok, just worried about talking to the ch
It seems as though I’ve been silently staring into Daniel’s eyes forever waiting for some kind of response, when finally, Daniel breathes a huge sigh of relief.“I thought you were breaking up with me” he says, “I’ve been worried sick all afternoon”,“I’m so confused, why would I break up with you?”“Because you’re too good for me, I don’t deserve such a wonderful person to be in my life. Let alone be in love with me”,Has he even listened to anything I’ve just said to him, as if he’s been worried about me not wanting to be with him anymore, he’s perfect. I’m the one that clearly doesn’t deserve him. Again, I’m staring wide eyed at Daniel waiting for a response to everything I just blurted out at him.“Daniel?”He begins to laugh out loud and I can feel my face heating up, I’m becoming increasingly mad at him, why is he laughing at me?“I’m so sorry poppet, I’m just so relieved, it’s like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders”“Good for you” I snap back,“Oh shit, I’m so sorr
Daniel gets home in time to walk to the school with me to collect the children. I love the time we get together on the walk; he holds my hand and asks about my day. I tell him that I facetimed Liana but avoid the subject of Hailey. I know he’s going to be furious, and I want to enjoy this quiet time we have together.It’s a warm September day and being in Daniels presence is calming, however, the closer we get to the school the more my tummy starts doing somersaults. It’s like Daniel knows how I’m feeling as when the school gate comes into view, he holds my hand even tighter. We walk in and the first person I see is Hailey. It looks like she’s made friends with all the bitches of the school playground, why am I not surprised. She see’s us enter the playground together and shoots me a dirty look, says something to her new group of friends and they all laugh. I honestly feel like I’m back at primary school being bullied by the ‘popular’ girls all over again. I had one friend at primary
We’re busy getting the children’s school clothes ready for the morning. The summer holidays have gone too fast as usual. We’ve had a wonderful time together as our new family but there has been a constant feeling of anxiety in the pit of my stomach as I worry about the possibility of Daniel having another child with Hailey. Would she really have his baby and not tell him? After everything I’ve heard about her, I’m thinking it sounds just like her. I haven’t dared speak to Daniel about it as I don’t know how this would affect him and since coming back from holiday, he’s been stressed again due to Izzy going to see her mum so often.Daniel agreed to let Izzy go to Hailey’s every other weekend, much to his dismay, this was what Izzy wanted, and he does everything in his power to make her happy.Dylan’s trial date is the day after the children go back to school. He had been released on bail under the conditions that he was not to make contact with me, the children or Daniel. If he did so,
Daniel:It’s the second day of our family holiday and I am loving every second of it. I’m so grateful that Alice had this idea. I can’t remember the last time I had a break, and I can already feel the weight being lifted off my shoulders.I’ve asked Alice if I can borrow Joshua for a few hours. I’d like to spend some one-on-one time with him, so he gets the chance to know me better. I think out of all the children he’s struggled the most with the mess his dad has caused. I want him to know that I’m not trying to step into his dad’s shoes or replace him but I’m here for him anytime he needs me.Yesterday Joshua showed an interest in the bikes you can hire so we walk over to the hire shop to get one. As we step inside Joshua notices a wall covered in fishing gear that can also be hired.“Wow, I’ve always wanted to go fishing”“Alright mate, we’ll do that after our bike ride”“Yes! Thank you”.We hire a tandem bike but instead of sitting one in front of the other we’re side by side. We h