4 - TEACH ME

I had already downed my second glass when I began to fill the floozy effects of the bitter booze. Don’t get me wrong, I had gotten drunk or more likely tipsy, a few cans of beer, few glasses of wine but never the vodka and tequila kind, I always liked to keep it clean and a bit classy.

But this was a different kind of drunk, I could feel the room spinning around and my tongue felt kind of loose, kind of sour and although it wasn’t a feeling I hated yet, it was different.

I flashed my attention back to the group as they bickered on and on, and I tried to blend in, bob my head to the beat of the music in the background, nod my head to my conversations and maybe chuckled every bit now and then. I thought I was getting away with it until I heard Anika call my name.

“That reminds me Cheryl, you got married didn’t you, you made this big fuss about it on social media” then I saw her eyes flicker to my finger where I had gotten rid of the ring, and my fingers lay empty.

“What happened?” she asked curiously and I was drunk enough to let my tongue loose.

“I divorced him – ” I was saying when Pearl cut in immediately, holding her phone up for the group to see.

“You married Marty?” she exclaimed and I tried to keep her face in focus in my blurry alcohol induced vision. “He has an OnlySex account, you married a fucking pornstar”

I froze and I could feel the color draining from my face and I pulled the phone from my hands to find Marty Only account, which from the looks of it he had opened during the course of our marriage. I scoffed bitterly as I scrolled through his account, I didn’t even know this sort of app existed. How could I? When all I ever did was try to prove how much of a good girl I could be, how fucking righteous – Fuck!

“You know that’s like the saddest thing that could happen to someone, losing your husband to p**n” Anika said out loud with a chuckle, I could see the mockery in her eyes but I was too furious to pay any attention to her.

Then Aiden turned to me “Are you perhaps still a virgin and refused to fuck your husband and he had to do p**n to get his load off” he joked and everyone laughed and it felt like high school once again, I was always the butt end of their jokes.

“No wait guys, she’s definitely not a virgin the real question is, have you ever sucked a dick?” it was Anika.

I haven’t.

“I wonder if she knows what an orgasm feels like?”

And again I didn’t.

What have I been doing with my life all these years? They were right, I was a prude and God I needed that to change.

But at that moment, I was drunk, I was furious and I felt white hot shame on my face.

I took the last shot on the table and forced it down my throat to keep my embarrassment down but I couldn’t sit there and look at their face while they flicked through my ex husband’s dirty account. I was angry, ashamed and I slammed my fist on the table.

“Fuck you guys – I don’t fucking need this. I don’t need you laughing at me for things I can’t change about myself. I’m a fucking prude and maybe a little naïve – and so what? It’s not like your lives are any better than mine and I don’t fucking need this right now” I said all in one breath and by the time all the words left my drunken mouth, they were all staring at me with wide mouths except Aiden who had a curious look on his face.

“I’m going home” I said, I picked up my bag and I left.

It wasn’t even up to twenty minutes after I got home when I heard Aiden’s car in the driveway and before I knew it, he was inside the house staring at me as I tried to shove down left over spaghetti down my throat in an attempt to sober up.

He didn’t say anything, he just looked at me.

“What the fuck do you want?”

“I’m just checking if you’re okay” he said and I shot my eyes to him, that was strange but I scoffed bitterly.

“That’s rich coming from you” I said “I mean you single handedly made my life a living hell in high school, you put a fucking toad in my locker and to this very day, I hate toads because of you. I can’t look at a frog and say oh that’s frog, all I’m thinking is how that slimy creature jumped from my locker and latched on my face” I said, I was so drunk and I couldn’t control the words that were spewing out of my mouth and I wouldn’t lie, it felt kind of good.

“That was kinda funny” he chuckled and then he saw my glare and his smile vanished.

“I might have been a jerk but that was in the past and I’m sorry – I didn’t realize how much it had upset you”

I paused, did Aiden Scott just apologize to me.

“I mean apart from all that, with the whole Marty stuff, that was pretty messed up – are you okay?”

I looked at him again, this time I couldn’t see him through the blurriness the tears had began to form in my eyes.

“No – “ I breathed out and I let the tears fall. “I’m so sick and tired of this good girl image”

I walked towards him now, a sick idea finding its way into my head as I stood in front of him, his essentially handsome face marking its presence in my head.

“Marty fucking hurt me, he used my innocence and naivety to take advantage and go behind my back. Maybe if I had known what an Onlysex was – God I’m so fucking stupid”

“No you’re not – well not in that kind of way. You’re innocent and you’re too nice which isn’t such a bad thing, you just need to learn to lose the niceness, be a little wild, let loose a little”

I inched closer to him.

“How am I going to do that?” my eyes met his and he held my stare. His hands went up to hair, losing the rubber band I used to tie my hair up and it came crashing softly past my shoulders and Aiden’s lips slightly parted.

“A lot of things you need to learn” he whispered silently.

“Teach me” I said back “I don’t want to be a good girl anymore, I want to be wild, I want to be like those girls on the covers of those raunchy magazines” for some reason, I felt hot thinking about it.

“Are you sure about Tiny, there’s a tiny addiction that comes with that” he smirked and his gaze intensified as he took one step towards and I took a step back, not ready for the heat that he carried with him.

“You really want this?” he asked again, his voice sounded deeper – huskier or maybe it was my drunken fuzzy brain, but I suddenly began to feel hot all over just at the prospects of Aiden’s strong muscular arms around me, teaching me how to be a bad girl

“I – I – do” I stammered and he took another step, his fingers tipped my chin up to look at him but then all of a sudden I felt a queasiness that I couldn’t control, I could feel everything pushing back to my throat and I couldn’t hold it down – I puked all over his shoes.

“Oops” I said drunkenly.

“You have got to be kidding me”