FIVE

I am frozen to the spot.

I try to swallow, but I can’t.

I stand there, my throat dry and my breath coming in short bursts.

I look away from her, to the trees.

I look for the rogue.

But I don’t see him.

My whole body is tensed up, ready for the attack to come.

"I should kill you," Val says.

Her voice cracks.

She is shaking.

"I know," I reply.

I can feel my pulse pounding in my ears.

I am rooted to the spot.

Val pulls back the bowstring.

But she is not going to do it.

I know she is not.

From the quiver in her voice and the shaking of her body, I can tell the last thing she wants to do is kill me.

Without a second thought, I reach for my own bow and arrow.

I train my arrow on her.

Deadlock.

We both stand there, bows trained on each other.

"Riley," she gasps.

"Let's not do anything hasty," I say.

We both stand there, our bows still pointing at each other, our eyes locked.

It's the first time we’ve pulled our bows on each other and it makes me feel sick.

I can see the confusion in her face.

The questions.

"What is going on?" she asks.

"I don’t know," I reply.

"What do you mean, you don’t know?" she asks.

"I don’t know," I reply, and I mean it.

Ever since I set eyes on my mate, I don't know anything anymore.

My world has been tipped upside down.

I let the enemy go and am pointing an arrow at Val!

Nothing is the way it's meant to be.

"Riley," she says again.

She says it like a question.

There is hurt in her voice.

"Let's not do anything rash," I reply.

My voice sounds strange saying it.

It sounds like I’m hearing myself for the first time.

I am a new me.

I don’t want to pull the bowstring.

I don’t want to shoot her.

I don’t want to kill her.

I don’t want to kill Val.

But I will.

To keep the secret of my mate, I will do anything.

The thought is so powerful I feel it in my core.

More real than anything I have ever known.

My fingers twitch.

I can see it in her eyes.

She is not going to shoot me.

She's not going to kill me, even though she has every right to do so.

She takes a step back.

With a flick of her wrist, she spins the arrow around and returns it to her quiver.

I let out a breath of relief.

I feel the tension leave my body.

I let my own bow and arrow lower.

Then she says, "You know I have to tell Hunter."

My fear returns tenfold.

The alpha will kill me if he knows what I have done.

"You don't have to tell him anything," I say.

"I can't just keep this from the alpha," Val says.

I know she is right.

I know she has to tell.

I know she can't keep the secret from the alpha.

But I can't stop myself from trying to keep her quiet.

I raise my eyebrows at her.

"You don’t have to tell him," I say. My voice doesn’t sound like me.

My tone is quiet.

"You don’t want me to tell Hunter what I saw?" Val asks.

I shake my head. "No," I say.

There is silence.

I cast my eyes down at my feet. I don't want to see the look on Val's face.

I don't want to see the look in her eyes.

I don't want to know her thoughts.

"I have to tell Hunter," Val says.

I know she does.

She has no choice.

I think of a reason I can give her not to do it.

There must be something, a lie I can tell her to make her not tell him.

If I can just keep the secret, I can live.

But before I can think of anything, Val says, "You're not getting out of this, you know. You did something stupid. You let a rogue get away."

I can't say anything.

My eyes dart around the forest.

Looking for him.

Looking for my mate.

Looking for anyone who will save me.

But no one does.

In my moment of distraction, Val moves.

In a flash, she is behind me.

She knocks the bow from my hand and grabs my arms, pinning them to my sides.

She twists my arms up behind my back.

I yelp.

Then I feel heavy silver cuffs clasp around my wrists.

I hear them click into place.

"Val," I gasp. "You don't have to do this?"

"You've left me no choice," she says.

"I'm sorry," I say.

I don't know what else to say.

I am sorry.

Sorry that I have let her down.

Sorry that I've let everyone down.

She pushes me forward.

I stumble.

I think she might be crying.

"I don't want to treat you like this," she says.

"I know."

I can feel her grip on my arms tighten.

She pushes me forward again.

The silver cuffs bite against my skin.

My mind races.

I don't want Val to tell Hunter what I have done.

I don't want her to tell anyone what has happened.

I can't understand why I have let this happen.

I could still fight her.

Even with the cuffs, I'm wily enough to overpower her.

But then I would be banished.

I can't believe this is happening.

I can feel my pulse pounding in my ears.

My whole body is shaking.

The thought of the alpha seeing me like this cuts me to my core.

I would rather get silver bullets in my heart than have my pack hate me.

I have let everyone down.

I fell in love.

I let my mate go.

I let my chance at happiness slip away.

I see our den in the distance and feel bile rise in my throat.

My time of reckoning is upon me.