SEVEN

I enter the mess hall for lunch.

I feel like everyone is watching me.

I grab some meat and beeline for the table where my friends sit.

“Rylie, how’s your nose?” Tomasina jokes the second my backside hits the bench.

Ah, so news of my so-called failing instincts has already spread around the pack-house.

That's just perfect...

“Very funny," I say.

Tomasina leans up on her elbows so our faces are close. “Rylie. Come on. What the heck happened?”

I can't tell her.

I can't tell any of my friends.

They all peer at me expectantly.

I shove meat into my mouth.

"I don't know what happened," I murmur as I chew. "My instincts are usually good.”

Tomasina studies me. "I'll say. You're one of the best gammas out there."

I chew, putting all my focus on the food rather than the burning questions in my friend's eyes.

"Did Hunter flip?" she asks.

"Of course."

"What did you tell him."

I stare at the ceiling. They are not going to drop this, are they?

"I apologized."

"And he bought it?"

"There was nothing to buy," I snap. "I told him the truth."

Tomasina barks out a laugh. "Rylie. I know you too well. You can't lie to me. Tell me what happened."

I wish I could.

I wish I could tell her what it felt like to look into the eyes of my lover. Of my mate. Of my destiny.

But I cannot.

“What happened?” she presses.

"It's what Val said. A cloud passed over the moon and..."

"That's bull and you know it!" Tomasina interrupts. “She wouldn't have slapped silver cuffs on you if that was the case!"

She looks at the red raw flesh around my wrists.

She is right. I'm surprised Hunter didn't call Val up on it, either.

I wonder for the first time if some of his anger was a charade. Was he was looking for an excuse not to banish me? This morning he wanted to marry me, after all. It takes more than one mistake for feelings like that to fade.

At least, I hope it does.

When she realizes I am not speaking, Tomasina changes tack.

"You ruined your mission," she says, taking the sort of low blow she knows will annoy me.

“I'm well aware.”

“You let your pack down.”

Yes, Tomasina. Thanks for the PSA.”

I'm getting angry now.

I expected the third degree from the alpha, not my supposed best friend.

But I can see the frustration in her face and I understand it. It's the same frustration I feel growing inside of me. None of this makes sense, even to me, but at least I have a few more of the puzzle pieces. Tomasina is looking at this whole thing totally blind.

"Can we drop it, please?" I try.

She regards me for a long moment. Then suddenly, she scoffs.

“You know what, Rylie," she says. "I'm not sure I know you anymore."

The words hit me like a punch to the gut.

"Tomasina..." I gasp.

I don't know how to respond.

I'm hurt that my best friend thinks I'm some sort of traitor.

And I'm hurt that she's right.

“Don't look at me like that," she says. “I know you’re going through a lot right now, but you need to get your head back in the game. Pronto."

With that she gets up and leaves me at the table alone.

I stare after her, shock coursing through me.

I chew my food.

Usually I would talk back.

But I have no defense.

I have nothing to say.

Tomasina is right.

I have let my pack down.

Put them at risk.

My actions today could have cost me everything.

And for what?

I press my hand against my heart.

It's beating hard.

For love, I tell myself.

I have broken pack law for love.

I shake my head in disbelief but I know it's true.

The answer is clear

I have broken pack law for love.

If only there was a way someone of my rank could be mates with rogue. I'm sure if Hunter was mates with a rogue, the rules would be different. He would be able to take a rogue bride with next to no fanfare.

I finish my meat in silence.

I feel a little better after.

My frayed nerves seem to be repairing themselves a little.

But as I leave, and head into the corridor, I cannot ignore the concerned looks coming my way. The pack has gotten word of my failing instincts and the whispers are getting louder.

I turn the corner and bump right into Alia.

"Rylie," she says. She looks confused. "You're here."

"Where else would I be?"

She blinks. "I saw Hunter earlier. He was furious. I overheard him telling one of his betas what happened. I didn't get to hear the end, but I thought for sure he would have banished you."

"I guess that will teach you not to miss the punchline in future," I say.

I try to sidestep her, to make my way towards the girls' wing of the pack-house, but she follows me, matching my pace.

I don't have anything to say to her.

I want to be back in my bed.

I want to sleep and wake up back in reality. Because surely this is some kind of dream?

Alia follows alongside me, asking her insessant questions.

Then I have a sudden thought.

Alia is older than me by several years.

She's also a blabbermouth.

Of everyone in the pack, Alia is the one most likely to answer my questions.

I stop walking.

She does too. The question half out her mouth stops mid-flow.

"I have a question for you," I say.

"What?"

"Alphas. They can pick whatever mate they want. Right?"

"Yes."

"Even if it were a rogue."

She cocks her head to the side with curiosity. "I guess. Not that they'd want to."

"What about Betas?" I ask. "Gammas?"

The question hangs in the air. Fear slams through me. I have no good reason to ask that.

"They can," she says. "Theoretically. Mate bonds ignore politics. They even ignore borders."

I press my lips together.

This is the answer I had been both praying for and hoping against.

Because she has just given my heart a green light and now my head is going to have to fight even harder to hold me back.

I realize Alia is still speaking.

"I mean, it's never happened in my lifetime. And I've never heard of anyone doing it. But that's not to say they can't. Anyway, why are you asking?"

"You know me," I say. "I'm curious."

She doesn't look convinced.

"Rylie, Hunter isn't going to bond with a rogue," she says, completely misunderstanding the purpose of my question. "He knows there would be all kinds of hell to pay from the pack if he did!"

She chuckles, but my chest sinks.

I hate the thought of the pack giving me hell because of who my mate is.

"What if he... what if he had no choice?" I ask, running with the hypothetical.

Alia frowns. "What are you saying that? Hunter has choice over anyone else. He has first dibs."

"I just mean... bonding is strong. You said yourself. It goes against politics. Law. Borders. If his mate was a rogue, how could he ignore that?"

"You're silly," Alia tells me. "We are the strongest wolves in the world. We are the best we are, and we only allow the best of the best. A rogue would never be accepted. Never ever. So don't you worry."

She thinks she is telling me something reassuring.

Instead, she may as well have stabbed a silver dagger into my heart.

A rogue would never be accepted.