Chapter 4

Grayson

Curse that damned dinner bell, I thought as we made our way back inside. She was about to say something that felt important, but the bell stopped her.

I couldn’t believe how much I had missed her. Losing my best friend and my brother at the same time had left a huge hole in my life. With her next to me now, I could feel some of it start to fill in.

The Hall was large and lavishly decorated in the colors of Alderei – a deep green and brown. It gave the room an earthy, comfortable feel. It was very unlike the halls of Eswen Castle which were mostly bare sandstone. My father did not believe in spending money on something as frivolous as decorations. I rather liked the look of the Hall here. I could see Abby smile in the corner of my eye as she watched me looking around the room.

“Do you like it here?” she asked. It was the first she had spoken since we started our walk back.

“It’s very… comfortable,” I said, uncertain if that was the right word.

“It is,” she agreed.

“Do you live here year round now?” I asked, knowing what I wanted the answer to be.

“Most of the year,” she answered and my heart leapt. “I do leave for a few weeks in the Frostwane and the Withergreen to check on my own estate and to deal with any necessary matters.”

I nodded. “How far is your estate from here?”

“Only about 4 hours north by horse,” she said. “Lydisia is about two hours farther north than that.”

“That’s quite a ride,” I observed. “I’m glad you don’t have to do it often.”

She smiled, “I actually enjoy going home. Odel Manor is a beautiful place – you and Catherine must come to visit in the Withergreen. The trees turn the most brilliant colors.”

Me and Catherine… I didn’t like the way that sounded.

“I would like that very much,” I replied, swallowing back my bad feelings. “We don’t experience Withergreen in Eswen.” She looked surprised. “I suppose we are too far south, or too close to the sea. We have two seasons, really – Sunswell, and what I suppose you would call the Frostwane. So your two choices are “hot” or “less hot”.”

“No offense, Grayson, but that sounds awful,” she laughed. “You’ve never told me that before.”

“Oh, it is. So no offense taken.” I laughed along with her. “We always came to see you during Sunswell. I guess I never realized your climate was so different.”

“So you don’t have Palesun, either?” she asked, amazed.

“No.” I explained. “I have only heard stories of the snowfall.”

“Oh, Gray, you will love it!” She exclaimed. Her face lit up and her eyes sparkled. I fell into her happiness. “I will teach you how to make a snow person, and we will have hot tea, and read by the fire, and everything will be cozy and quiet. It’s my favorite time.” She thought for a moment. “Though it is Catherine’s least favorite,” she added.

“I cannot wait for you to show me,” I smiled. “I guess I’ll have to spend the season with you to truly appreciate it.” I saw her blush.

We fell into a comfortable silence as we walked across the hall to her seat. “Abby?” I asked hesitantly.

She smiled warmly. “Yes, Gray?”

“Will you give me the honor of a dance this evening?” I looked away, too shy to meet her eyes. “If you are feeling up to it, of course.” What would I do if she said no?

“Of course, Grayson,” she answered as if it were the simplest thing in the world. She had no idea how happy her answer made me.

Despite the glares from my parents, I escorted Abby to her seat for dinner. I held out her chair, pushed her in, bowed, and kissed her hand before making my way to my seat at the high table. I still had the stupid grin on my face.

My happiness didn’t last long, however, as my father grabbed my arm on my way past his seat. “What do you think you are doing?” he hissed at me.

“Heading to my seat, Father, the bell rang announcing dinner.” I tried to look innocent.

“YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN,” he hissed again. I did know. “What were you doing with the Duchess in the garden when your fiancé was in here?”

“The princess was ignoring me,” I explained. “Duchess Abigail was polite and offered me a tour of the gardens.” He glared at me again. “There were guards all around, Father,” I lied.

That seemed to settle him somewhat, but I could tell he was still angry. He shook my arm, and I knew I was going to have a bruise in the morning. I could see everyone else looking at us, but my father did not notice the scene he was causing. Or more likely, he didn’t care. “If you mess this up, you will not make it back to Eswen in one piece. Do you understand me?”

“Yes, Father.” I hung my head.

“Good. Now go sit next to your fiancé and stay away from the Duchess.” He turned away, dismissing me.

I walked to my seat and hesitated before sitting down next to the princess. “Good evening, Catherine…”

“Yeah. Hi,” she responded. Well, so much for making nice. I could tell getting to know my future bride wasn’t going to be easy. We ate in silence for some time.

I found my gaze wandering over to Abigail. She sat with her father and sister, chatting with them happily and laughing. What would that feel like, to like your family? If I went over to join them, would they welcome me? I glanced at my father, who was completely ignoring my mother in favor of flattering Queen Sarah. I turned to look at Catherine on my other side, and I found her staring in the same direction I had been, her chin in her hand and a grimace on her face.

“They’ve always seemed to be a happy family,” I offered.

Catherine grunted, “They are. Very happy. You should have seen them when their mother, Duchess Christine, was alive.”

“Why? What happened to their mother?” I asked, pretending not to know, taking advantage of the fact she was actually speaking to me.

“She died of an illness about a year ago – the Scorage, they think. It almost took Rose, as well; she is still recovering. Thankfully, Rose lived, but their mother was not so fortunate. That’s when Abby became a Duchess.”

She paused to take a sip of her wine. “The Duke adored his wife. Her death broke his heart to the point where he swore he would never remarry. They both doted on their children.” She sighed. “They loved them so much that they would not even consider a betrothal for either girl until they were old enough to speak for themselves. Us, on the other hand…” she shot an angry look at her mother and my father.

“I’m sorry I’m not my brother,” I said suddenly.

Catherine looked at me surprised, then sighed again. “It isn’t that you aren’t your brother. I would have been just as miserable marrying him.”

“I guess that’s a relief.”

She chuckled. “I guess so. I just…” she looked around. “It may surprise you to hear this, but you might as well know since we will be married soon.” She looked me in the eyes. There was no hint of affection there, as there was in Abigail’s. “I don’t want any of this. I don’t want to rule, I don’t want to marry someone I don’t know. I want to go on adventures and see the world. I want to marry someone I love…” she trailed off and I saw her eyes again go to the Coursar family.

“Which one?” I asked.

She looked back at me suspiciously. “Which one what?”

“Which one of the girls do you love?” Her eyebrows almost flew off her face in surprise.

“What makes you… how do you… what…?” she finished, exasperated.

I smiled sadly, “I can see where you’ve been looking all evening, and where your eyes went when you said you wanted to marry someone you love… so I took a guess.” I chuckled. “It’s either one of the girls, or their father, and you don’t seem to be into older men.”

She laughed then; a genuine, loud laugh that got the attention of those around us. “I will admit, you are far more observant than I would have given you credit for.”

I’ll take that as a compliment. “So, which one is it?” Things would be awkward if she said Abby. I loved Abby. I always had.

“Rose,” she said simply.

I let out a sigh of relief that I didn’t even realize I’d been holding onto. “Rose is lovely.”

She looked at me out of the corner of her eyes, “Not as lovely as Abby, I’m guessing.” I could feel the heat rising on my cheeks. “Don’t be embarrassed, she is very pretty, even if she doesn’t think so. And anyone with a working set of eyes could see you thought so, too.”

“She is very beautiful,” I admitted. “And she has always been very kind to me.”

Catherine looked at me askance, “That’s right – you two knew each other as children.” She sighed. “She is very kind. They all are. Too bad we are stuck with each other,” Catherine lamented. “Especially when potential happiness for both of us is sitting right at that table over there.”

“Catherine?”

“Yes, Grayson?”

“I’m glad we’ve talked.”

She smiled, “Me too… Grayson?”

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry.”

“What for?”

“Everything.”