Photographs and Memories

Waking up refreshed and rejuvenated the next morning, with no alarm clock, was amazing. Jaimee’s body felt better than it had in months. She reached over to cuddle with Sean but he wasn’t in bed. No clothes on, she found her robe laying on the foot of the bed, wrapped it around and tied it at the waist.

Walking downstairs she saw him sitting on the couch, looking through her photo albums. The books were old and ragged, but they still held fond memories. Memories of a time before drugs had ravaged her mind and body and stolen her soul. When she was still youthful and vibrant. Before relationships had been damaged beyond repair. Some days it was too much for her to remember, but today felt appropriate somehow and she was glad Sean felt at ease to look at her things without asking. After all, he knew ever little detail about her: the good, the bad and the ugly. He still loved her for who she was.

Sometimes she wished they shared the same interests. He was a neat freak and she was sloppy. He was a chess master while she likes to write. Still, as they say, opposites attract. This had to be the case for them, Except for the fact that they had met when they were both crack addicts, she wasn't sure they would have ever found anything else in common. Well that and fantastic sex.

"Thanks to you, I feel amazing this morning,” she said, smiling.

Sean looked up. “I'm glad you feel refreshed and relaxed, my love. But I had no idea all the crazy things you’ve done, and you started so young!” He handed her a photograph. It showed her in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. She was strapped to her aunt Becky and flying through the air, skydiving. Even though she was so young, she still remembered the wind pressing her cheeks, hard. The air had a crisp, clean smell. The panic and exhilaration she felt in her chest was probably what started her need for thrill-seeking. The adrenaline pumping through her body was unimaginable. She actually thought about hitting the ground but the excitement outweighed her fears and when the parachute opened and jerked her back before sailing them smoothly to the ground, she was overjoyed and asked to do it again!

Her aunt Becky laughed. “I think that’s enough for me, little one. Maybe later. How about some miniature golf now?” Jaimee felt a sadness and yearned for the days when her aunt felt like a second mother to her. She wished she could take back the time that had caused a rift between them and start over. They spoke and were kind to one another now, but the damage had been done and Jaimee thought they would never again be as close as they were when she was little. She was sure Sean had already passed the picture of tiny Jaimee with flour covering her entire body, just a diaper on. Becky had captured the moment because when she had gone to answer her phone, Jaimee had gotten flour all over herself and the kitchen counter, so instead of baking cookies, they got a snapshot in time and a bath and cleaned up the kitchen. Still Jaimee would never forget all the fond memories she had with her aunt.

Jaimee faded back to the present and looked at the book Sean was holding. The next picture was of 7-year-old Jaimee on the back of an enormous white rabbit statue from the mini-golf place where they had gone. Fond memories from way before she had damaged her relationship with her aunt by using drugs and lying to get money for her next fix. It was before they had stopped talking. It was during the age of innocence.

She saw pictures with her father who had been gone many years now. His death was one of the catalysts that started her need to escape reality try one drug after another. She had even smoked heroin and fentanyl for two years before finally deciding she could no longer take the debilitating physical withdrawals and stopped cold turkey and never looked back. It was her crack addiction that she couldn't stop. The mental cravings were harder to subside and she chased the dragon for many years before she and Sean stopped together and never looked back.

“Let me show you one more from the same trip that you will never believe! Then I have to start packing. My flight leaves in a few short hours. I can’t believe I won’t see you and the kids for two whole months!” Jaimee said, a little sadness in her voice. "What are your plans for while I am gone? No wild parties, I hope!" She said, laughing a little as she searched the worn photo album.

"The kids and I have a huge surprise planned for you, but I don't know if we can pull it off before you get back. I hope we aren't biting off more than we can chew. Still I'm quite excited for your return, not just to see you but to see your reaction to what we have planned, if we are able to accomplish our goals. If you can climb Mount Everest, then we can do what we have planned."

"Now I'm even more sad to go! You actually have a surprise waiting for my return? That's so incredibly sweet! I couldn't ask for a better family. I love you guys. I don't want to leave!"

“Yeah, but you’ll have the greatest stories to tell when you bring your ass back to us.” Sean responded, lightening the mood.

“Ok, I found it,” Jaimee said, as she turned two pages in the photo album. She lifted the cellophane and took out a picture. There she stood, same pudgy 7-year-old frame smiling at the camera, beside a fisherman and a huge tiger shark. They were standing at the end of a pier. Jaimee's smile was enormous and the pride she held in her gaze was unmistakable. She always did show her emotions in her face. Sean had always told her she would be a lousy poker player. He was right. Her emotions weren't on her sleeve, they were undeniably all over her face and the day she helped catch a world record tiger shark was no exception.

“What in the world?!?” Sean exclaimed. “Now you’re gonna tell me you caught a shark!” He laughed.

His laughter was infectious. She laughed right along with him. “Not exactly, but this fisherman, I don’t even remember his name, let me feel like I was helping him reel this big guy in! At the time, Tillman Pier in Cherry Grove in North Myrtle Beach…. Largest Tiger Shark on record. Over 8 feet long! The salty sea air, there’s nothing like it, you can not just taste, you but feel it! I ran up and asked if I could help. He was in the middle of the biggest catch of his life and just looked at me for a second and then said, “Come on little miss, I could use your help.”

"I ran up with a chill throughout my body. I just knew I was going to help this man catch his shark. My dad and aunt Becky were there and said nothing as I recall. If my mother had been there, just like the skydiving, it would not have happened. She was very protective. Hell, my aunt told the jewelry store, she was my mother and had my ears pierced at 18 months old. I cried and cried until they handed me a chocolate bunny, then I promptly stopped and started eating. My lifelong replacement of food for negative emotions started right then. Anyways, back to the shark."

“He let me help turn the reel. I stopped when he said stop and helped when he said help. It was a much harder pull than regular fishing and he was tired, I could tell. When he told me he needed to finish alone I obediently moved out of his way, but I’ll never forget that day. I didn’t have a shy bone in my body when I was little. As I got older and people beat me down about my weight, I lost my confidence and stopped being so outgoing. But that day…. That’s my big fish tale and I have the proof!”

“I wouldn’t have believed it if I didn’t see it with my own eyes. You’re pretty incredible!”

Jaimee smiled. “Not so bad yourself, baby. You give me something to smile about everyday.”

The rest of the day was spent reminiscing and spending quality time with all the kids before she left for exploration. After hugging and kissing all the kids goodbye and telling them she’d see them soon and Sean helped her load her luggage into his Silver Tahoe, she got in the passenger seat and looked back at their home. How exciting it would be to see this place when she got back and share her stories with her loved ones. Getting away and seeing new things is fantastic, but there’s nothing like the thrill of getting back to those who love you.

They wound their way down the driveway and she turned and looked one last time as all the kids stood on the porch waving.